Whispers of Hate

by Sanchit Garg

  Thank God! She’s not here. I don’t know what I would have done then.

  I checked out all the surrounding areas and then decided to check with everyone else in the village. But no one knew where she was. As I was about to return back home with a down face, the old man, Padmaja, came out of his house.

  He inquired, “Are you searching for your daughter?”

  I was startled, “Yes, I am. We can’t find her since this morning.”

  “Are you sure? I saw you yesterday late at night with her, taking a stroll.”

  “Me? Taking a stroll? How is this possible? Last night, my wife and I went to sleep early, together with our daughter.”

  “It was your daughter, for sure. I knew it from her clothes. She’s always playing around here. Maybe it was not you. But it was a man, the same build as you. They were walking towards the left path from your home.”

  That’s where that old-abandoned house is? No! No! How is it possible? Was it Vijay? He had the same build as me and Amira loved him a lot. Please, GOD! Don’t let me go through this again.

  “Do you remember anything else? Anything at all? Please help me out with this. Did you ever see her with a kid? A small child, just like her.”

  “A day back, I saw a kid outside your house. When I reached out to him to ask what he was doing there, he ran away way too fast. I couldn’t get a better view of him as it was dark. But there was a kid there, that’s for sure.”

  It felt like my mind was inundated with a lot of information. It had started making up new scenarios. Did someone kidnap her for ransom? Was it Vijay? Was it someone else from the village? Was there indeed a child? Who was the child?

  Suddenly, I recollected that a day back, Nandana told me that Amira had a dream where Jai was calling out to her to come play. Was it Jai? If it was, why hasn’t he come back to us till now? What is going on? Am I going to go insane? Maybe, I am doing all these things. First I killed Vijay, then Jai and now my dear Amira, too. It looks like I am not in charge of myself.

  Now, how am I going to face Nandana and my family? Everyone would blame me, and I think I am wholly responsible for that. If I had never gone to that old house, these things wouldn’t have followed. But they were happening before that, too.

  God! Help us out. Please bring my daughter back. I can’t lose both of my kids. What would I say to my father now, that I am an inept fool, that I can’t keep my family safe? Maybe, I should die too.

  He spoke after a long pause, "I remember that sometime back, there was a rumour in the village that someone abandoned an infirm man at the haunted house due to lack of ability to care, and by the next day when he regretted his mistake, the old man had already vanished. Bad things are happening these days. I think you should go back to your home now. This is not the time to be standing here.”

  I was already confused in my thoughts that I didn't listen to what the old man said.

  “What!!! Did you say something?”

  “Nothing! Just go back to your home.”

  “Okay!”

  I started walking back towards my home, taking baby steps. I knew back home, the first question Nandana was going to ask me was, "Where is Amira?" How can I answer this, knowing she would asunder into pieces that I would never be able to piece together? My life! My family’s life has turned worse than hell, and I am unable to do anything, we all are unable to do anything. With all these thoughts in my head, I made an entry into my home. Seeing me, she came rushing towards me.

  Nandana jabbered, “Where is Amira? Is she right behind you? Let me see her? Please!!!”

  I lamented, “There is no one here, other than us two.”

  A tear dropped down my eyes.

  She yowled, “Don’t joke with me. I know she’s with you. Amira!!! Please come out, dear. I will play with you until you tell me not to. Don’t tantalise your mother. Please come out of hiding.”

  “Hey! There’s no one here. I tried looking for her everywhere. She’s not here anymore. I don’t even know where she could go.”

  She started wailing, “Please! Bring her back. Please!!!”

  “I just can’t. No matter how much I want to. This is beyond me. Beyond us.”

  “No! No! You don’t want to try. Just like you lost Jai. Okay! I would take action now.”

  She ran towards the main gate and shouted, “I know where she is, and I am going to get her back. I would kill every spirit in that house to get her back. You just wait.”

  I cried, “No! You don’t know what it is or who is doing this. Please, don’t leave me too. We can’t win against it. No one can.”

  But she just ran out.

  I quickly picked up the lamp from the kitchen shelf and ran out of the main gate to catch her.

  She was not in my sight. I had never seen her run this fast and that too in complete darkness. I should hurry, or something terrible would happen to her.

  I reached the old-abandoned house as fast as I could. I still couldn’t see her anywhere.

  She might have gone inside. I need to grab her pronto and get out of here. It’s dark, and this is not a good time to be anywhere other than home. I was about to go check the room on the left first when some light from the lamp reached into the hall. It felt like someone was sitting on the floor. I turned away from the room and towards the middle of the hall. There she was, sitting down on the floor, head tilted a little down and both her hands supporting her head.

  I called out to her, “Hey Nandana! Let’s go back! It’s not safe here.”

  She replied joyfully, “It’s very safe here. I just heard the voices of Jai and Amira. It seems like they are happily playing here. Now, I know why she came here, too. Jai was all alone. He must have felt bad, so she came to make him feel happy. Now, I am going to stay here too. I can’t live without them.”

  I yelled, “Cease your childish tantrums this instant. Are you out of your mind? I’m not trapping you here. This damned house took them both away, and now you want to give yourself too. What about me? You don’t love me anymore? Do you want me to go back to our house and live like nothing happened!”

  “No! You can stay too! Both of our kids, you and me. It will be a complete family again! A happy family!”

  What is she saying? She’s going to go mad?

  “Why don’t we call everyone back, Father, Mother, and Mohan. Why not even Purnima and her husband, too? If we all die here, we should die as a complete family again. Bound here for all eternity. No future for anyone. Is that what you want?”

  She bellowed, “Yes! I want that!”

  I need to take quick action, or else there will be nothing left. I moved to face her. I held her by the shoulders, brought her up and slapped her. This was the first I ever did that. But at that moment, I just couldn’t lose her either. How could I?

  “Are you out of your mind? This house is turning you insane. We are going back to our home.”

  She screamed, “No! I don’t want to go back. I want to stay with my kids. I want to keep listening to their happy voices.”

  I grabbed and lifted her up in my arms, and moved to get away from the house, towards the entrance.

  “No! Please don’t! They are calling me! You, idiot! Leave me here with my kids. I won’t go back…”

  She began hitting me on my hands, but I didn't budge. I kept on moving towards the exit without saying anything. Now, even I started to hear their voices.

  “Father! Father! Leave Mother here with us! Leave Mother to us! We are lonely! We are scared!”

  She cried, “Please drop me! I can’t see them crying! Leave me here! You go back alone if you want to.”

  I kept on walking! I had already seen the horrors of this house! Before something evil happens again, we needed to get back. I got out of the main gate and kept walking towards our home. We finally reached back, and I dropped her on the bed in our room and went back into the hall again.

  I knew she was not in the right mind. There was a possibility that if I slept or even winked a lit
tle, she would go back to that house. I needed to stop her from doing that. I should lock the main gate and hide the key away. Somewhere she won’t find it. I picked up the lock from Father’s room and went straight to the main door. By this time, she had come back into the hall.

  She saw me locking the door and raged, “You can’t do this to me! You can’t take away my kids! I won’t forget this, ever! You are the one who killed my kids! Not that house! Not anyone else!”

  “Do what you want to do; I am never going to give you the key. My kids are no longer in this world, and no one can change that. I know this. Not even you. Not even anyone else and not even God. So, just go back to your bed and go to sleep. We need to move out in the morning.”

  I walked back to my room.

  Now, I need to hide the key. Thinking hard, I could only think of one hiding place, below one of the legs of our bed. I can lift it easily enough to pass one key below it and then until I wake up and move away from the bed, she can’t get her hands on the key. Feeling awesome at my idea, I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. I wanted her to feel like I didn’t care at all, so she could turn all her anger on me and forget about the kids.

  opened my eyes to look back at the clock. Half an hour had passed. My mind was thinking of contingency situations, so I couldn’t go to sleep. It was like a spider’s web; all entangled up. I looked at the other side of the bed, and she was still outside.

  Maybe, I should check what she is doing. She can’t find the key; I know that. But what if she did something else.

  I moved up from my bed and noiselessly walked towards the room’s door. Our room was just opposite the main gate. Reaching the gate, I took a peek outside. She was sitting in the hall, with her back against the main gate and her head down, just like a helpless kid. I knew that helping her would be a total disaster that I couldn’t make up with. I knew this was a night on which neither of us could sleep. It was too much of a pain to bear. But I needed to be strong. Strong enough to support her and get her to our new home, where everyone else was. There was no future for us here.

  I went back to my bed and laid down again. I just kept gawking at the ceiling and time kept on passing. Before this, I felt immune to the ills and evils of the world. That’s not to say I didn’t know bad stuff happened; instead, it just didn’t happen with us and, bad not like this, when you don’t even know what is going on. In a moment, the world became a place where bad things could happen for no apparent reason.

  I didn’t know when the clock clicked to 6 in the morning. I went out to check on her, and she still hadn’t moved a single inch. I walked towards her.

  Reaching her, I sat down to look at her face. She was sleeping soundly, but it looked like she had just slept. I looked at the gate, and there were scratch marks as if she was trying to get out somehow. I turned my gaze towards her fingers, and they were all scarred. Seeing them, I cried.

  But, this was no place to sleep. Soon the workers would come to pick up and move our stuff. I need to slowly pick her up, take her back to our bed and let her lie down there.

  I picked her up in the same pose as she was sitting and walked towards our room. Just as I was about to drop her down on the bed, she opened her eyes.

  She asked, “What happened? Why are you holding me?”

  “It’s already morning, we need to pack our stuff and move to our new house.”

  “Where is Amira?”

  I asked coolly, “Amira!”

  “Yes, Amira! Who else? Where is she?”

  What!!! She doesn’t remember! Maybe the trauma was so much that her brain just thought to wipe away all the bad memories of the past day. I think it’s better this way.

  “You don’t remember? She already went to our new house with Mohan.”

  “With Mohan? When did he come, I didn’t see him?”

  “Well, he came when you were sleeping, and I thought it would be better if she went away from this place as fast as possible.”

  She smiled, “Yes! This is a nice thing that you did. We all will live peacefully in our new home. Let’s hurry up now; and would you mind dropping me down, so I can make the arrangements.”

  I blushed, “Yes! Yes!”

  Everything happened way too fast after this and I could hardly remember anything apart from sitting on the bullock cart and moving towards our new house.

  She smiled, “Hey! I just saw a girl like Amira near our home calling me with her hand. Can we stop and go to her? She’s even wearing the same clothes as her. But it can’t be Amira, you already told me that she’s at our new house.”

  I ululated, “Yes! Our daughter is at our new house. It’s someone else, and maybe she’s calling out to someone else, not you. Let’s keep on moving.”

  That house took everything from me and even now, it wants more. It wants her too.

  She’s not Amira! I just know it.

  How I was waiting to see Nandana smile. I thought she was never going to.

  Thank you, God!

  I knew this smile was short-lived, and she was going to hate me more. I was just helpless. It was all my fault, and I couldn’t do anything. If someone asked for my life in lieu to bring my kids back, I would happily give it to them. But I knew that old-abandoned house only knows how to take people away and no matter what I do now, I would never see them again.

  Why God, why do this to us, to our family? Did we ever disappoint you in some way?

  One thing that I know is that I need to find out the truth. The truth which would reveal to me just what led to all these events and made us go through worse than hell.

  We arrived at the main gate of our new house. Before I could even come to my senses, she quickly got down from the bullock cart and raced towards the main gate, which separated the in-house garden from the house, and rang the bell next to the front gate, which was the entrance to the house.

  I shouted, “Hey Nandana, Wait! Why are you in such a hurry?”

  But she didn’t listen to me at all.

  She called out, “Amira! Amira! Come to your mother! Where are you, baby?”

  Oh, No! What is she doing? If she finds out the truth so soon, she may get in shock again. I need to hurry and stop anyone before they tell her the truth.

  I hastily spoke to the bullock-cart driver, “Hey mister! Can you bring the furniture inside? Someone in the house will tell you where to put them.”

  Without listening to his reply, I raced as fast as I could towards her and reached her in time at the front gate. Mohan opened the door, and the first question she asked was, "Where is Amira?"

  I made stopping hand gestures and mumbled towards Mohan to stop him from speaking about anything.

  Mohan asked, “What!!!”

  Before even hearing him, she just pushed him aside and entered the house. Reaching to him, I quickly muttered that Amira went to Purnima’s house. I thought this was the best way to avert the issue for the time being because they didn’t know that Amira was dead too. The fewer people who knew about it, the less was the likelihood of a revelation of the lie.

  He responded, “Okay!”

  I followed up with Nandana. It seemed like deep down she felt that something was not right with our daughter, and that’s why she was behaving differently. Luckily, my father was not at home, and I only had to deal with my mother.

  Nandana went from one room to the other looking for Amira. I thought this was the best time to reach out to my mother and make her believe in my lie. I knew I had to tell her the truth soon, but at least not right now.

  I noticed my mother going towards what looked like the kitchen area, and I hastened towards her.

  I hushed, “Mother! If Nandana asks you as to where Amira is, tell her that she went to Purnima’s house."

  Mother questioned, “Why are you in such a hurry? Rest a little and then tell me what it is?”

  I begged, “Can you do this, Mother, please?”

  “I don’t know what is going on. Tell me the truth. Why should I say this to her?
Is there something wrong?”

  “Mother, please! For now, believe in me. I will explain everything later on. If she asks, please tell her that Amira is at Purnima’s house and don’t let her go anywhere.”

  A tear rolled down my eyes.

  “Okay! I will do it. But you have a lot of explaining to do.”

  “Yes! I will tell you everything, but do this for me, this one time.”

  I came out from the kitchen and kept on standing in the hall adjacent to it. I could hear Nandana’s helpless voice calling out Amira’s name. She looked in each and every room way too thoroughly, even under the beds and the dining table. Seeing me, she shuffled towards me with a sad face.

  She distrusted, “Where is our daughter, you told me she was here? I have checked completely, but she is nowhere? Just tell me, where is she?”

  “I just asked my mother, she told me that Amira went to Purnima’s house as she was getting jaded here.”

  “Okay, I will go there. Tell me the way to her house.”

  “She’s okay there. Don’t you worry at all! I would bring her later after all the furniture is set in the right place. So, please rest a little and after that, help Mother in the kitchen if you can.”

  “No! No! I want to see her now. Just take me to her or I would ask someone else.”

  Oh, No! This is getting out of hand.

  She raged, “Take me to her! To our daughter!”

  I replied calmly, “You go to your room and take some rest. And when you have rested a bit, I would bring Amira back.”

  She snivelled, “No! I want her now! I want her now! I knew something was not right, but I believed in you. You are a liar. You left Amira back at our old house. The girl I saw at our house wore the same clothes as her. If I had recognised this earlier, I would have never left her there. But why? Why did you leave my child there? And how could I not have known she was Amira? Is there something wrong with me?”

  “Everything is ok, Nandana. You are just overthinking it. Please wait until the evening.”