Touch Me (You & Me - A Bad Boy Romance, #2)
Page 5
Alone in the house, he had allowed himself to sit in misery, complaining about things he couldn’t resolve. Even though he had worried about her safety, nothing he felt or feared had prepared him to see her battered.
Ben was the type of man to never raise his voice at a woman, and he had despised abusive men since he was a teenager. A slumber party at his best friend’s house had put him face to face with the trauma of an abusive relationship and he swore to never let a man hit a woman in his presence.
Now, seeing the harm done to Katherine, Ben felt immense guilt about not doing more to intervene at the charity event. He had never thought it could lead to her being hurt so badly, and knowing he played any role in her abuse made the liquor swirl dangerously in his stomach.
“Did he do this to you?” Ben asked. Katherine blinked slowly and a tear rolled down her cheek,
Ben couldn’t wait any longer for her answer, so he gently wrapped her in his arms, as Katherine cried so hard she felt like she was vibrating. Her small frame curved to Ben’s and he felt a small sense of relief as she melted into him.
Of all the feelings he had experienced while sitting alone in his living room, one he had not denied was longing. He missed Katherine, and that was a new feeling for him. When you could buy anything you wanted, it was a rare occasion to not be able to get what you wanted.
“Did your husband do this to you?” Ben asked again, and Katherine nodded in his arms, unable to speak through her tears. Saying ‘husband’ made him sick to his stomach, but it was a cold truth he was going to have to accept.
“I’m so sorry,” she finally mumbled, prompting Ben to hold her tighter.
He couldn’t believe she could possibly feel any guilt or remorse for what had happened. She was nothing short of an angel at the event. Despite the way it had ended, Ben had not forgotten how perfectly the first half of the evening had gone. She was graceful and charismatic, the highlight of every conversation she was in. To see her now saddened with grief hurt him more deeply than he would have thought possible.
“I’m so sorry,” Katherine repeated over and over, her voice gaining clarity as her tears slowed.
“Katherine, please listen to me,” Ben said, speaking in a calm and even tone as he rubbed her back. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”
Katherine nodded, but it wasn’t enough for Ben. With his hand resting on the nape of her neck, Ben tilted her head so he could see the pain in her eyes, wishing he could carry the burden for her.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Katherine.”
With his arms wrapped around her bruised body, Ben stood in the doorway of his home with Katherine, staring deeply into her eyes as he tried to silently say the words his mouth refused to speak. He wanted her to know how badly he wished to care for her.
While he had always been cautious of people trying to take advantage of him, Ben felt for the first time a desire to spend every penny of his fortune to help someone else. Whatever he had was hers, she just needed to ask.
“This is the only place I wanted to be,” Katherine finally broke the silence.
Ben was ecstatic that she had showed up at his house, despite the circumstances. In his mind, it meant that she must share at least some of the strong feelings he himself was experiencing. It was a bit of validation that he wasn’t alone, and although he wasn’t sure what the future held, he was much more optimistic than when he was sitting alone in the living room.
“Let’s get you inside,” he finally said, leading the way.
“I don’t mean to be a burden,” Katherine started, but Ben cut her off, pulling her close again.
“Katherine, you could never be a burden to me. I’m just so glad you came here, now let me take care of you.”
Leading her through the house, Ben stopped in the kitchen to get Katherine a bottle of water before taking her to his bedroom. She followed him into the closet, watching closely as he opened a drawer to retrieve a crisp t-shirt folded perfectly. Next, he selected a pair of black lounge pants from another drawer. After stacking the shirt on the pants, he walked into the bathroom with Katherine’s hand in his.
Reaching behind her, Ben turned on the water, then reluctantly released her hand to retrieve oils and bath salt from beneath the sink. As the massive tub filled with warm water, Ben knew he would need to help her get in, but wondered if she would want privacy instead.
“Is it okay if I undress you?” He asked her softly, and the shadow of a smile crept across Katherine’s face before she nodded.
With great care, Ben began to pull the dress from Katherine’s body, watching her face as she winced from certain movements. When Ben pulled the fabric down to her waist, a large bruise on Katherine’s rib caught his attention, and he had to clench his jaw tightly to bite back the rage.
He couldn’t believe someone would hurt Katherine so viciously, yet she was still calm and sweet as normal. Ben found himself even more impressed with this woman he had fallen for. She was resilient, and more than anything, she trusted him. He took immense pride in the fact that of all the places she could have gone, she chose to come to him in her time of need.
“It looks worse than it is, and I actually heal pretty fast,” Katherine said, when she noticed Ben looking at the bruise again.
His eyebrows shot up in shock, saddened that she knew that about herself. He hated that she had lived a life where recovering from a beating was something she was used to.
Satisfied with the level of water and the small layer of bubbles floating on top, Ben offered his hand to help Katherine step into the tub. When the water touched her bruises, her face reddened as she clenched her jaw to combat the pain. Ben could feel a piece of his heart tearing. It was brutal watching her in such pain knowing there was nothing he could do about it, and he wondered if there were other injuries he couldn’t see.
There was so much helplessness involved with caring for someone in the way he cared for Katherine. Ben was used to control, but for the first time in a long time, he had none. So, he bit his tongue, silently dipping the washcloth in the warm water before bringing it to Katherine’s shoulder and squeezing the warm water onto her back.
“That feels nice. Can you do that again?” Katherine said, flashing the first smile he’d seen all night. It wasn’t her normal, carefree smile, but it was a step in the right direction.
“Anything you want, Katherine,” Ben assured her, repeated the motion again and again.
“Anything?” Katherine turned her head to look at Ben as she asked the leading question.
“Anything.”
“Well, you did say you would take a bath with me,” she said, the left side of her lips curling as she watched him take in her request.
Ben was completely caught off guard and it was evident on his face. He hadn’t expected to get in the bath with Katherine, but the last thing he wanted to do was deny her anything. She was so vulnerable, he didn’t want to take advantage, or to have any lines get blurred on such a traumatic night. Katherine had enough to deal with and he didn’t want to add to her load.
On the other hand, there was nothing he wanted more than to feel her soft body in his arms. It was painful to be so close and have to keep his protective hands off of her. Wishing he could heal every wound and remove every scar, he glanced over her body with a longing much deeper than lust.
“Let me take care of you,” he finally said.
Chapter Seven
Katherine
IT SEEMED KATHERINE had got bolder since she had lived in San Francisco, but she still couldn’t believe she had mustered up the courage to pop up at Ben’s house. On the cab ride over, she was filled with nerves, but when she stood at his front door, she was certain she had made the right decision. All the fear evaporated at the first sight of him.
Donned in his black pajama pants and a white t-shirt, Ben had swept her in his arms, holding her as she cried, just as she imagined he would. It was proof that he felt as deeply as she did, and being taken care of
by him was just another layer in the relationship that was brewing between them.
Now, he stood outside the bath, contemplating her request climb in. It was obvious he wanted to, she could see it written on his face, but the apprehension, probably tied in his fear of hurting her, was holding him back. Katherine found it ironic that Ben was worried about hurting her, while her husband had no remorse during his attack.
“Please,” Katherine added to her plea, and the deep breath from Ben was all the affirmation she needed that she had won him over.
Without a word, he pulled the white t-shirt over his head to reveal his washboard abs, then pulled his boxers and pajama pants down together before climbing in the tub behind Katherine. His body felt harder than normal as she backed up between his legs, resting her tired head on his chest.
“Take some deep breaths, sweetheart,” Ben advised her, carefully wrapping his arm around her body to pull her closer to him. There was no space left between them when Katherine finally found her resting point.
Inhaling deeply, she glanced around the bathroom as she held her breath, admiring the simple yet modern design. Much like his bedroom, everything in the bathroom was gray or charcoal, with some touches of black and white.
Katherine exhaled loudly, thinking of Ben’s bachelor pad, and how he probably never intended to be caring for a battered woman in his tub. She knew she was complicating Ben’s life, and Katherine had a ball of guilt spinning in her stomach because of it.
One of the major reasons she had never wanted to make new friends, or tell people about her past, was because she felt sharing the story shared the fear and the burden. People assumed she was closed off for her own benefit, but that wasn’t the case. Katherine kept her pain hidden so that no one else had to feel it, but now as she laid against Ben’s tense body she was grateful for his strength, lifting the fear from her and helping her shoulder the burden.
“Let me wash you,” Ben suggested, after a few minutes of holding Katherine gently. She nodded, still too touched for many words, and Ben began to lather a washcloth before cleaning her body so carefully it brought tears to her swollen eyes.
She had never been cared for in the way Ben did that night. He was meticulous and gentle, protective and kind. When he finished washing her body, he rinsed off the suds with a handheld showerhead. She could feel his weight shifting behind her before the water splashed as he stood and climbed out of the tub.
“Look, I’m going to leave you alone to soak, and have some time to yourself. Take as long as you want, and use those clothes when you’re done,” Ben nodded towards the pants and shirt stacked on the counter as he wrapped a white bath towel around his waist. “Holler, if you need help getting out.”
“Okay,” Katherine managed to say before Ben flashed a quick smile and left her alone in the bathroom.
She knew that time was what she needed, but she had run from it intentionally. She wasn’t exactly ready to face the consequences of last night. With Tim now knowing she lived in San Francisco, it meant she wasn’t safe anymore. Katherine needed to move on as she had every other time she’d been discovered by Tim or his minions over the past two years.
Leaving Ben without an explanation, however, was out of the question. She had to let him know what had happened, and how she felt about him, because if not, she would always regret leaving without saying goodbye.
He was the only thing keeping her from running at the moment, but the tug in her heart meant it was not going to be as easy to move as she had expected. More than ever before, Katherine had a life in San Francisco. With friends, a job, and even an apartment, a small piece of her was reluctant to move on. But Tim had found her and there was no way she could have a normal life here now that he knew she was here.
When the water cooled, Katherine decided she’d had enough, climbing from the tub before she dried herself off and slipped into the t-shirt and sweats Ben had put out for her. His clothes were of such high quality, the fabric felt like a bandage on her tender skin.
As her bare feet crept across the cold floor of Ben’s bedroom, she noticed his bed was still in pristine condition, and wondered if he too had experienced a sleepless night. The realization that he was up and worried about her touched Katherine’s heart, but also sent a pang of guilt through her stomach.
When she reached the living room, Katherine found Ben pacing, his hands on his hips as he clenched his teeth. His jaw was more defined than usual as he walked the same three feet with such intensity she wondered about the surface of the floor beneath his feet.
She could feel his fury in the air, but it was nothing like she was used to when it came to a man’s anger. Katherine’s husband wasn’t able to control his emotions and the way he expressed himself was abusive. When Tim was upset, Katherine was afraid, knowing how he chose to relieve his frustrations.
With Ben, it was different. Not only was Katherine unafraid, she wanted to relieve his frustration more than anything else in the world. Seeing him so stressed made her feel the same emotions, and her heart rate increased with every passing second as Ben continued to pace the room.
When he finally noticed Katherine in the corner of the room, Ben stopped instantly, his eyes roaming her body protectively for an extra second before he walked to her, taking her in his arms.
“I made you some tea,” he said, after hugging her silently for a moment. Katherine could sense his mood easing, simply with her presence.
When she first arrived, Ben felt high strung, but she couldn’t blame him when she was crying like a mad person. The shame had worn off, but Katherine still felt the humiliation of the night. Following behind him, it felt like an elephant had crept between them, and she thought of ways to broach the topic of discussing the evening’s events.
They needed to talk about what happened, and more than that, Katherine wanted to tell her entire truth to Ben. She wanted him to know everything, because she felt he had earned that. There was a deep connection between them, and she had never meant to withhold information from him or leave him feeling in the dark.
When they reached the kitchen, Ben handed Katherine a mug that was still steaming, but cool enough to drink. He had already taken the time to make her a cup of tea and Katherine found that to be incredibly sweet.
“We need to talk,” she said, her words scraping along her dry throat.
Ben’s eyes perked with interest before he took a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his tussled hair. He was trying to calm himself down, but Katherine wasn’t sure why.
“Katherine, you don’t owe me anything. Don’t feel forced to tell me something you’re not ready to talk about,” he said, as his eyes searched hers.
“I want to tell you my story, Ben.”
Katherine knew Ben didn’t want to pressure her. He was so considerate, it left her in awe as she watched him lean against the kitchen counter with a mug in his hands. He was so effortlessly sexy, even in her shaken state, she couldn’t help but be bothered by his allure.
“Let’s go to the living room,” Ben suggested, after they each took a few sips of their tea in silence.
Katherine led the way this time, sitting on the sectional sofa first before tapping her palm against the soft leather as she welcomed Ben to join her. He sat without hesitation, first scooting close to Katherine, and then adjusting himself a bit, to put a little space between the two of them.
Katherine’s anxiety spiked, wondering if he was preparing to separate from her based on what she said. It was nerve wracking and scary, but she knew she had to do it, so Katherine took a deep breath.
“I moved so I can see you, by the way,” Ben interrupted Katherine’s thoughts, reading her nervous energy.
His gray eyes were warm and encouraging, but Katherine could still see the rage there, too. Ben was far past upset and she wanted to bring him some type of relief.
“I want you to know the whole truth, Ben,” Katherine began, preparing herself for what she knew would be a difficult and incredibly
vulnerable experience.
She had never told anyone everything about Tim. What she told Talia was a big step, but as her new friend and co-worker, she thought she could trust her friend. Ben deserved more than that, though. He had seen the ugly side of Katherine’s life, so she wanted to let him know everything.
“There is nothing you could tell me that would make me see you any differently,” Ben said, gently placing his hand on her knee.
When Katherine looked into his eyes, she felt her lips curve upwards, appreciative of his kindness. Ben always went out of his way to make her feel comfortable, but she didn’t think he would see it the same way once he knew everything.
People change when they can see behind the curtain into what you’re really like. Katherine may have a nice life now, but her marriage, and life with Tim, was anything but. She wanted Ben to know everything, but she also knew that could possibly mean losing everything she had with him. With one last deep breath, she decided it didn’t matter what the outcome would be. She wanted to tell him her truth.
Chapter Eight
Ben
WITH HIS NERVES IN knots, Ben watched Katherine take a deep breath, preparing to tell him her story. He had wanted answers, but now that they were staring him in the face, he wasn’t sure he was ready. Things had been so perfect, right up until they weren’t, and he wanted to know what had ruined them. But he didn’t want to ruin the good times they had shared together. It was a tricky place to be, but when Katherine’s eyes connected with his, he knew he was out of time.
“The man that came to the event last night was Tim Marshall, and technically speaking, he is my husband.” Katherine’s admission was made with shame in her eyes and Ben instantly felt guilty for the anger he had felt.
When Katherine used the word husband, he felt defensive and territorial, ready to tear this man apart who thought he could hurt Katherine. But, regardless of what he felt, he never wanted Katherine to feel any shame, and he knew her feelings would be rooted in his reaction. She was watching him closely, and he knew it, but whenever she mentioned Tim, his blood pressure shot up as adrenaline coursed through his veins.