Dear, Carson McDermott (The Dear letters Series Book 1)

by King Ellie

  “Goodnight, baby.”

  I turned to walk away but then Carson grabbed my wrist. He groaned,

  Please don’t go kitty. Stay with me. I’m sorry.”

  The tone in his voice tugged at my heart. Why was he apologizing?

  “Why are you apologizing babe? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  He opened his eyes; so full of regret and shame.

  “My anger gets the best of me; I know and not everyone likes it.”

  I sighed and climbed into bed with him. He laid on his back giving me the chance to climb on top of him. I cupped his face,

  “Baby look at me. Do you really want me to stay?” I asked softly.

  He nodded. This was a side of Carson that I don’t think anyone including myself, had ever seen.

  “Yeah, darlin’,” he answered as he gazed into my eyes.

  “Okay,” I said. “Don’t ever feel like you’ve got to apologize for having a right to be upset. You had every right and honestly, it was kinda hot, Mr. McDermott.” I winked at him.

  “Mmmm, ya think so, darlin’?” His hands came up and gripped my waist.

  “Yeah,” my eyes fluttered as I felt him grow hard underneath me. “Let me text Cassie. I’ll tell her to cover for me.”

  Carson gripped me harder and rubbed his hardened dick on me. He groaned, this time longer.

  “Okay, okay let me behave. Text Cassie and call your parents. Go head’, I’ll be here.”

  I chuckled, leaning down to give him a couple of pecks.

  “Thanks, baby. I’m gonna call ma then I’m gonna go freshen up. Can I borrow your shirt?”

  He smiled at me.

  “You can borrow whatever ya want sweetness. What’s mine is yours, always.”

  I swear this man wanted me to give my heart even more than I already had.

  ****

  Carson

  Being with Katerina was something new and different for me. I didn’t know how to function, yet I loved that it was a challenge. We were meant to be together whether we realized it before or not. That didn’t matter anymore because now, we were in this, and I was never letting her go. I watched as she went to the en-suite bathroom, I heard her muffled voice as she called her mom and then she called Cassie telling her where she was.

  I was glad that tomorrow was Saturday because I knew that once I crashed, it was going to take so much more for me to come back to. My body was going to be in a load of pain. Taking my mind off that, Katerina came back into my room.

  “All good?” I asked her as she came closer with nothing on but my tee and her panties.

  She smiled,

  “Yeah.” She answered.

  I scooted over giving her space to get in. My bed was custom-designed to fit my big ass, so she didn’t need to worry about hogging up all the space. Katerina got in and cuddled right up to me, it put the biggest smile on my face. I wanted to talk some more but I was so damn tired. I slipped my arm around her waist, kissed the back of her head and before I knew it, I was knocked out cold.

  ****

  When I came to, the sun was already out, and I swear the smell of pancakes, sausage, and bacon-filled my nose. I inhaled again, hoping that I wasn’t seriously dreaming of food right now. Katerina wasn’t in bed with me, so she must’ve been the one to either cook it or order it. Katerina never cooked when I was around so I couldn’t jump to that conclusion. I slowly got out of bed due to my aching body. I gritted my teeth as the weight of yesterday’s game and impact made itself known. It was weird, this pain gave me a high. I didn’t try to get myself hurt on purpose or anything but nevertheless, I basked in the pain that came after a big game.

  Showering had to be the hardest thing I had to do all day but finally, I got out. I brushed my teeth and braided my hair back in one big braid. After rubbing lotion on my body, I got dressed in basketball shorts and a white tee shirt. I took my time walking out to the hall and down the stairs. I have never felt like this house was too big but right now, everything felt too far.

  When I got to the kitchen, Katerina had her music playing as she danced while she cooked. This was something else that I could confirm. She could cook. She swayed to Woman by Mumford & Sons. I loved this song and the fact that she also listened to it made me smile. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

  “You like Mumford & Sons too?” I asked as I laid the top of my chin on her head.

  “I don’t like them; I love them, and this song is my favorite.” She stated.

  “Damn. I knew I loved you for a reason,” I said without thinking about a damn thing.

  Katerina paused mid turning off the stove. My heart beat so fast, I thought I was going to die right then and there. I didn’t deny that I loved her, but I wanted to say it another time, where I was sure she was ready to hear it. Unfortunately, the slip of the tongue and me being tired took precedence over logical thinking. I held my breath not sure how she would process or receive this. I had been confident in everything else but this, this was the moment I realized I was still that eighteen-year-old boy who never truly understood love. My parents never loved each other enough to stay together, my father never remarried or claimed he loved any other woman and my mother, she never came around. She never told me she loved me when she gave me up to my father. She never said she wanted me back or that what she was doing was the right call for me. All I knew was that I didn’t know nor understand it yet here I was, in love with my best friend’s sister.

  I wanted to hold on to the idea that I didn’t deserve this nor was I worthy of this girl, but I knew I loved her. Deep in my heart, even if everything in me remained silent, this didn’t. I could never shut it down. This was something that I knew I couldn’t give up on. Trust me, I tried. I tried so hard to not fall for this girl. The first time I met her, I fell for her smile and those deep dimples. Her beautiful soulful brown eyes that gave me peace amongst all my chaos and that’s when I knew. I’ve known since I stepped foot in her life that I loved her. I knew I was going to tell her one day that she was to be mine, my future wife, the mother of all my kids no matter how many she decided she wanted to have. I would give her every part of me if she wanted.

  I shut my eyes, squeezing them like I used to do when I was a child. Whenever my mother would scream at me, call me all sorts of names and tell me how worthless I was. I tried not to go back to that time and luckily, I didn’t have to because Katerina turned in my arms. I felt her small hands on my face, I leaned into the sensation of how much I loved her hands on me.

  “Open your eyes, baby.” That small statement made me open them. I gazed into her eyes; they were filled with tears.

  I wasn’t sure if those tears were tears of sadness or happiness, so I went with the negative because that’s all that’s tainted my life from the first woman I’ve ever loved. One who couldn’t love me back despite my love for her being genuine.

  “I’m sorry,” I said to her in a voice so small, I wasn’t even sure I had said it.

  “No, Carson, look at me please.” I made eye contact with her again, tears were still flowing down her face. “I love you.”

  Three little words. Eight letters.

  So weightless yet they held so much meaning. I had never known love from another woman besides the first that my eyes opened to when I first came into this world. The second woman that I laid my eyes on, gave me what I needed. She told me what I yearned to hear even when she didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear it.

  The first woman tainted my world but this one, the second that would become the first, the only one I’ll ever love painted it over.

  I leaned in, kissing her filled with joy that those tears weren’t of sadness but of happiness and I never loved the song playing over the sound system as I have today.

  I can’t read your mind

  Though I’m trying all the time, oh, woah

  There’s something I don’t know

  I can see it in your eyes, oh

  But as the nigh
t ascends

  All will slow again, oh-woah

  And I am left in awe

  Of the woman I adore

  Chapter 7

  Katerina

  Carson and I spent the whole day just lounging, eating and watching tv. He was very sore and in a lot of pain, so I made sure I didn’t move too much while he rested his head on my lap. He turned his head to look up at me,

  “Are your parents wondering where you are? I know you don’t usually spend this long with Cassie, so they are probably suspicious. I could take you home. I’ll be okay.” He tried to reassure me, but I could tell he wanted me to stay longer.

  I continued to run my fingers through his hair. I leaned in and kissed him, a simple peck not wanting to deepen it for fear, I’d climb on top of him and kiss him until I couldn’t anymore.

  “Don’t worry about that. I told both Cassie and mom where I was. I was going to lie to her, but I realized there’s no point. She’d know I was lying from my tone, but I reassured her that if anything was to happen, she’d be the first to know.”

  He cocked his eyebrow,

  “Anythin’ like what?”

  I winked at him,

  “It’s a secret. Now, do you want your massage? You’re in a lot of pain and I used to help Tony whenever it got this bad.”

  Carson nodded.

  “That’s so sweet of you Lil’ darlin’. I’d truly appreciate it.”

  I smiled.

  “Alright, up we go then. I need you off your back.”

  He fake gasped. “Excuse me? How dare you!”

  I hit him softly chuckling in the process and he groaned.

  “Oh shit, sorry Bubba.”

  He simply smiled at me as he sat up and held his hand out for me.

  “I’d do anythin’ to make you laugh, baby.”

  My cheeks were going to hurt at this point if I didn’t stop smiling so hard.

  ****

  I should’ve known that massaging Carson would not be as mundane as it was massaging Tony. I took another deep breath as I worked for my hands over Carson’s naked back. I knew where I had to press to get the proper results. I wasn’t trying to make this into an erotic situation but then moans and groans that were coming out of his mouth did not make this better. If anything, I wasn’t sure if he could hear my shallow breathing. I took another breath in and exhaled, shaky breath as I ran my palms down his back. Carson shuddered,

  “baby, I need a break,” his voice was strained. Kind of like he was trying hard not to spook me or himself for that matter.

  “Okay? You want me to get off?” I asked.

  “Mmmm, yes please.” He replied but the way his voice sounded was something else.

  I slowly got off his back and he flipped to his back so quick, you would think that he wasn’t in pain. I looked down at his boxer briefs and I knew why he turned that quickly. His dick stood so upright and curved that if I wasn’t so turned on, I would’ve said something about it probably being made of actual wood. I licked my lips not able to turn away from it, my hands itched to touch it and caress it. Make him feel good all over instead of just his back and legs.

  “Can I touch it?” I asked, raising my eyes to his. The expression in his eyes was wild, sort of crazed if that was a thing but he remained in bed.

  Silent as ever. I looked back at it, I reached out gripping it through the boxer-briefs. Carson hissed,

  “It has a name darlin’. Don’t be rude now, say hi to Big Bubba.”

  I cocked an eyebrow looking his way and he had a smirk on his face. I smiled because I was about to ruin Carson’s life much more than he knew. I reached inside his boxer-briefs pulling it out and for a minute, I almost ran away. I didn’t think that I could do this all of a sudden, but I was a Di’Maggio and we never ran away from challenges. We were tough. I bit my bottom lip as I examined the girth, the length, and how angry his veins looked. I wanted to retreat yet my mouth watered at how this was all because of me. It was a bit of a disappointment that my small hand couldn’t fully wrap around him but when his hand came over mine, I smiled.

  Slowly, Carson began moving my hand up and down sort of like a little help but then I met his eyes again. I was so mesmerized with the way we both made eye contact while I pleasured him.

  “Let me say hi by myself, Bubba.”

  Carson removed his hand as I leaned in closer. My tongue slipped out tasting the bulbous tip. I heard Carson make a muffled sound then I repositioned myself to where I was in between his legs and could see everything he did, how he reacted. I flattened my tongue as I licked from the tip all the way down near his balls.

  “Wait…” I heard Carson say and that was my cue.

  I didn’t warn him as I slid as much as I could into my mouth. I made my mouth into a suction as I did my best to make sure Carson lost himself in this. His hand found its way to the back of my head and I knew the roles had reversed. I placed my palms flat on the bed as he began fucking my mouth. His hips started rising off the bed as he lost himself in this sensation. I moaned as he gripped my hair hard causing my scalp to burn but the feeling traveled all the way to my pussy. I shut my eyes for a moment just so that I could concentrate on the swirling that my tongue was doing while he thought he was in control.

  What I was about to do next was a bargain, I wasn’t sure if he would kill me or love me for it. When he roughly pushed my head back down on his length, I came back up but this time I bared just a bit of teeth. The very tip of them scraped against his length and all I heard from him was a quickly said, I’m sorry as he came into my mouth. I didn’t mind as the sweet-salty taste of his semen slid down my throat. I shuddered because this was the first man that I had ever let finish in my mouth. I took as much as I could get which was hard because Carson was fucking my mouth even harsher. I could feel him hit the back of my throat and when he slowed, I made that same suction as I completely took him out of my mouth.

  I glanced up at him, Carson fell back on the bed as though he had just run some crazy drill. He was breathing hard with his hand over his chest.

  “You okay there, Bubba?” I teased as I wiped my mouth.

  “Shut up.” He said and I couldn’t help it but laugh.

  “You knew this would happen, didn’t you?” He asked as he finally opened his eyes and sat up on his elbows for support.

  I shrugged my shoulders,

  “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

  Carson didn’t even give me a chance to say more as he pounced on me as if he were a jungle cat. He was on top of me not even giving me a chance as he kissed me so tenderly. So beautiful, I could cry. I sighed into his kiss forgetting about anything else that was around us. I felt as his hand traveled all the way down to under my shirt. I had showered and borrowed one of his boxer-briefs while my panties were in the wash. They fit so snug because of my hips. He groaned as if liking the fact that I was wearing it the entire time. I gasped as I felt him begin to tease my clit. I opened my legs more, giving him space to lean in and continue whatever his skillful hands had begun doing. I shuddered as he moved the boxer-briefs a bit to the side and then I felt his fingers on my bare pussy.

  I pulled away from his kiss as I threw my head back at how much I loved this. I should’ve let him do this sooner. I felt his lips on my neck, then his teeth as he lightly bit my shoulder. That made me wetter and he knew it. He slipped two of his fingers inside of me. At first, he was going just as slowly as he started when he rubbed my clit but after a moment, he picked up his pace. Then he withdrew. I moaned ready to say something but then I felt his fingers at the hem of his tee that I wore. I sat up a bit so he could remove it. Those amber eyes seemed to light up at my naked upper body.

  “So fuckin’ perfect, I swear I could die right now.” He said but then he gave me a wicked smile as he looked me in my eyes. “But I won’t because I have yet to collapse your world like you’ve been doing to mine darlin’. Lie back down for me, will you?” He softly asked me.

  I smiled as I laid bac
k on the bed. His soft, plush lips had never felt so good on my body. I felt his fingers invade my body once more taking over every distracting part. His thumb went to work rubbing my clit as I felt his wicked tongue placing their claim over my breasts. He started with the left one giving it all the attention driving me crazy and then he went over to the right. I could’ve sworn I saw the stairway to heaven as the pitch in my voice rose as he increased speed and added a bit of roughness. I couldn’t handle it anymore as I screamed out my release. I thought that was enough, but it clearly wasn’t because all of a sudden, I felt Carson’s mouth over my pussy.

  I tried to sit up and see what he was doing but Carson’s idle hand came up and pressed on my belly until I was laying back down. I thought that I could breathe through this, but I was wrong as he showed me why so many girls were obsessed with him. I cried out as he fucked me with his tongue. If I saw the stairway to heaven before, then right now, the clouds had separated so that I could see the gateway instead. I felt as the tears trekked down my face because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried shutting my legs, but he pried them apart with his shoulders. He placed my disobedient legs over his shoulders as he proved to me that he could hold his breath for such a time as this.

  As if that wasn’t bad, I tried to move his head from in between my legs as I gripped his hair. This only worked for a second. Carson came up for air, with a look of anger and defiance. He was so beautiful like this. He licked my juices from his lips and the ones that escaped his mouth that ran down his chin, he wiped with the back of his hand. He gave me that same devilish smile that I now understood what it meant. He held my wrists in one hand and glared at me,

  “you know better than to disturb me when I’m having my dessert. I don’t like it not one bit. Now, darlin’ let me finish, you know I’ve gotta sweet tooth.”

  After that sentence, he went back to destroying my life. I should’ve known that I could never be a match for Carson and he truly showed me just how much of a sweet tooth he had when I became crossed eyed while my toes curled, and I screamed out his name as if he were indebted to me.