by King Ellie
“So, who’d you meet out in Nevada?” I asked her as we ate the Chinese she wanted.
I admit that I was trying to fatten her up a bit. I didn’t mind her looking like this if this was how she decided she wanted to stay but damn, I wanted all that meat she had on her back. Thankfully, I couldn’t dwell on all the ways I worshiped her body before as she replied.
“You know that model that made it big when we were eighteen? Paris Troy?” She said so nonchalantly.
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“The same Paris Troy that you double-tapped every one of his Insta pics? That Paris Troy?” I reiterated.
She scoffed.
“Oh my God, that was like ten years ago. I was a young girl; I didn’t know any better.”
“Uh-huh,” I replied. “How the hell did you meet him?”
“Well, through Michel surprisingly. His father is as we all know through the streets as the Mad King of Nevada and he had an understudy; her name is Emmi. You know Paris’s girlfriend at the time. Now, that’s his wife but that’s neither here nor there. But yes, Michel told me to go to her and that she would take care of me. This was after I got the help I needed to deal with my depression. Paris and Emmi are so sweet. They’ve taken over for the old man.”
I was confused,
“Who’s the old man?”
She giggled and I eyed her.
“Alexander Troy, duh!”
I rolled my eyes,
“Are you crushing’ on that old man?” I asked, and she had the nerve to break eye contact with me. “No wonder why you stopped crushin’ on his son. Just to let you know, I don’t need any of the Troy’s help, kay?”
Katerina had the nerve to bust out laughing. She clutched her stomach as she laughed to the point that tears fell out of her eyes. Instead of waiting for her to finish laughing, I stood, making sure to clean up after myself as well.
“I’m going to go get ready for bed,” I said to her knowing damn well I wanted her to come along but baby steps.
I briefly walked away to put the leftovers in the fridge then I made my way back to the living room,
“be ready for training at four.”
Her breath caught in her throat,
“wait, four in the afternoon?”
I smirked, walking over to where Brownie slept in his little bed. I picked him up in my arms and then began my journey upstairs. I stopped midway in the open hall, I didn’t bother turning to face her as I spoke.
“No Lil’ darlin’, four in the mornin’. I suggest you get some Z’s in now.” I smirked knowing that she was dreading it.
Many things about her could’ve changed but Katerina still wasn’t an early riser nor a morning person. This I knew all too well.
I waited for her on the stairs as I heard her quickly throwing away whatever she didn’t eat. When I heard her getting closer to the stairs, I turned around.
“Thought you’d never come to bed,” I smiled and didn’t miss the smile that crept on her face as I turned to walk all the way up the stairs with her following right behind me.
Chapter 15
Katerina
I was dreaming of one of the happiest days of my life…
I remember how nervous I was when my dad walked me down the aisle. I thought that everyone could see that I was pregnant, but no one stared at my stomach instead, they all had adoring expressions on their face. I smiled as I walked down the aisle and my brother Matteo sang, Dreaming of you by Selena. He had such an angelic voice that it made me tear up even before I got to the altar.
“Don’t be nervous,” my dad whispered to me. “This stupid boy loves you and even though, I wanted to kill him for knocking you up instead of, I don’t know, using protection.”
I snickered lowly,
“Daddy, we talked about this. You held him in a chokehold for one too many minutes and he didn’t fight you back. I love you but Daddy, this is my wedding.”
He groaned,
“Yeah, yeah. He’s lucky I didn’t snap his neck.”
This time, I tried not to laugh as we got closer. I eyed mom and she was glaring at dad,
“Mom’s giving you the side-eye.”
Dad cleared his throat,
“don’t you breathe a word to her, you hear me munchkin?”
“Yes, Daddy,” I answered.
****
There we were, standing in front of each other. Carson, my fiancée becoming my husband in front of my family and his dad, his paternal grandmother and his maternal grandparents. I was speechless as Carson and I decided to do our own, I was so happy yet nervous that I was going first.
“Carson, my bubba, my love, Babe. Thank you for loving me. I seriously don’t know where we’d be, actually pause, I do know cause your bullheaded self would chase me down and tell me that I love you instead of asking me. Tuh!” Everyone in the room laughed along with him. “But, you’re right. Damn, I love you. You are something else; stubborn, a bully, crazy as hell, and a rowdy ass country boy that does not listen to a damn thing I tell him but at the same time, is ready to butthead whoever makes me cry. Baby,” I called his name.
The smile on his face made me fall in love even more.
“Say it again.”
“Baby,” I said once more.
“Just one more time, please.” He asked.
“My big baby, Bubba. You mean everything to me. Promise me that if ever we lose our way, we will try to come back together? Please?”
Carson bit his lip,
“Is it my turn?” He asked. Both the priest and I nodded. He wiggled his eyebrows, “well, well… here we are darlin’. My Lil’ darlin’, I know I promised you that I would follow my dream first before I asked you to marry me but babe, you know me, I couldn’ do that. I love you. Let me see, what can I even compare it to? Oh yeah, I know! My mee-maws peach cobbler.” He faced his mee-maw and pouted, giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes ever. “I’m sorry Mee-maw, cover your ears, I don’ mean that.”
He looked at me again, he winked.
“You’re my little spitfire, my favorite pastime, and now, my wife. Damn, I love saying that. Honestly, all I’m askin’ you for is that you never give that up. Don’ ever feel like you need to dim that fire in you. I love it and that keeps me going. Letting me know that through whatever, you’ll be strong. If you can’t be strong then I’ll be it for you. Just lean on me, my Lil’ darlin’. Be my munchkin while I will be your bull-headed Bubba but please, don’ ever stop callin’ me Carson. You mean the world to me. Everythin,’ you hear me?” He finished off.
****
I was jolted out of my sleep when the alarm blared loud in my ear. I gasped as I scrambled to get out of my bed. It was hard since I still never figured out how I always managed to get myself tangled in these damn sheets. I hit the floor hard, I grumbled as I got out of them. I opened my eyes looking at the room still filled with the darkness because even the damn sun wasn’t up. I rolled my eyes as I went to the bathroom, freshening up momentarily forgetting about the dream. I thought that my anger was going to calm me down, but it was actually the opposite, I was still pissed the fuck off. I had one enemy right now, Carson Goddamn Bubba McDermott, that bully.
I marched downstairs wondering where he or rather where Brownie was. I wanted my morning hugs. When I went to the Livingroom, nobody was there and then I went to the kitchen, I stood there staring at Carson’s back. He had gotten a tattoo that I hadn’t had the chance of seeing. It was Jude’s name written in some sort of calligraphy font, drawn-out so beautifully on his upper back. The angel wings expanded going a bit off the shoulders and under his arms. His lower back had Jude’s footprints and right under it said My Lil’ Darlin. It made me want to cry because I had the same exact tattoo of Jude’s footprints on my back except mine covered my entire back with the name; Carson Bubba McDermott, I will always love you. It was painful but that was the only kind of pain that I enjoyed.
Carson turned to face me. He eyed me from head to toe. I don’t know when he had t
ime to order me more clothes, but he did because I had a whole closet full of any type of clothing and some I didn’t even need, like the evening gowns. I nodded at his tattoo,
“I love your tattoo, a lot,” I said.
Carson blushed and it made the butterflies that had been dormant in my belly explode like they did the very first time he kissed me. I inhaled and exhaled. Breathe, Kitty, breathe. The fact that I dreamt about our vows and now, here he was doing something I hadn’t expected to see from him ever again made all my anger disappear.
“Thank you,” he answered.
That was followed by silence. We just stood there staring at one another probably both taking in the fact that we had grown so much since we were kids. We were no longer those seniors who went to prom together. We were prom King and Queen, I didn’t even realize that I was running but apparently, Cory submitted my name. When my prom King, my high school sweetheart took me in his arms dancing with me, I lost myself in him. I knew that I would never love anyone else as much as I loved this man and I was right. I hadn’t seen him in seven long years but the moment his eyes locked on mine at our son’s gravesite, that was it. I was, of course, terrified, but another thing was that I was happy to see him again. My heart had begun to beat once more with more of a purpose. He didn’t know this but when I was at my lowest and I hurt myself, I wanted to die but then his face popped up.
My angel, Bubba. The sweet, smiling, blushing when he got a compliment, innocent yet so guarded love of my life saved me even when he wasn’t around. I remembered that night he asked me to stay with him and how much he loved having me in his arms. I missed that and him. I jumped out of that tub, dialed 911 and made sure that I didn’t lose another chance to see this. To see him.
“You’re welcome,” I said after a moment too long. “Before you say anything else, I think you should see this,” I turned around.
I lifted the shirt that I was wearing, I heard the gasp but didn’t turn around yet. I waited a beat letting it sink in for him that I had the footprint tattoo of our Jude. I faced him once more and the emotion in his eyes were so loud if ever that was a thing. We were having one of those moments as they said in the movies. The ones were you and the main character realized that everything that happened; every sacrifice, pain, tragedy, and obstacles were all leading to here, to now.
He tilted his head at me,
“do you remember that night when we were sitting out under the stars? What you promised if ever I got mad at you?”
I was confused. I tried to think about it and then I did remember,
“That if you were ever really angry with me and you wanted to let me go that I’d promise to let you take something of mine that belonged to you.”
He nodded.
“Do you know what I took or rather what I’m taking this time around?”
I shook my head,
“no, what are you taking?”
He smiled that lopsided smile of his.
“You.” He said so nonchalantly yet my heart, my mind, everything was going haywire.
****
Carson
The expression on her face let me know that what I said didn’t go unheard. If anything, she enjoyed hearing it. I wasn’t saying that we were jumping right back into whatever this was, but I was an honest person and I could never hide what I truly wanted to say unless I was being a dirtbag. Just as she was about to say something, Beau walked into the kitchen.
“And who do we have here?” He said as he removed his hood from his head.
Katerina turned to the voice making sure her shirt was down.
“Are you Bubba’s brother, Beau?” She asked.
He smiled flashing all his white teeth.
I rolled my eyes,
“Yes, ma’am.”
Even though Beau was my little brother, he was taller than me. Standing at six feet and six inches, he attracted a lot of attention. People sometimes thought we were twins because we both were the spitting image of dad. The only difference was that while I had all that curly hair, he was bald. It was more by choice than anything else.
A lot of times, others thought he was my older brother. I was lean still built more like a quarterback while he was a bit wider, with more muscle resembling a rugby player.
Katerina opened her arms wide and walked up to Beau hugging him. His eyes widened as he looked from her to me. I shrugged internally laughing at him because he hated hugs. That didn’t surprise me as much as it did when Beau hugged her right back.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Katerina said.
“It’s really nice to meet you too,” Beau replied.
“Oh, is it?”
I didn’t even have to look in the doorway to know that it was none other than my brother’s ex-wife, Cross. Beau rolled his eyes so hard; you would think they were going to stay that way. When he let go of Katerina he turned towards the doorway,
“Ma’am,” he said to her.
Cross sneered. He knew she hated it when he called her that. I shook my head.
“Kat, meet the crazy lady that swears I’m takin’ her on a date, Cross.”
Cross’s facial expression changed. If anything, it brightened up. She was now smiling,
“this is the wife? My sister-in-law?” She asked.
Before I could answer, Katerina spoke,
“Yep,” she walked over to Cross looking up at her, “Hi, I’m Katerina but you can call me Kat or Kitty.”
“I’m Lisette Cross McDermott. You’re so tiny and cute, I could just put you in my pocket. Ain’t she just so precious?” Cross asked as she looked up at me.
I shook my head,
“She’s not a fuckin’ puppy. She’s my wife.”
Cross scoffed as she put her arm around Katerina’s neck,
“is this big man scaring you?” She teased.
Katerina laughed and it brought joy to my heart.
“I can take him. Just one punch in the balls will have him to his knees,” she looked at me and winked.
I snickered, daring her with a piercing look.
Cross threw her head back, laughing hard which caused Beau’s face to transform. He had an expression that I always had displayed on my face whenever I was mesmerized by something Katerina did. The poor bastard, he was suffering in silence.
“Me and you short stacks, we’re going to be best friends. Now, let’s go do our thing and I’ll teach you a few ways that you can decapitate Bubba in his sleep. I promise you; he’ll never see it coming.”
Katerina laughed as if what Cross was saying was so funny. I, on the other hand, did not find it funny at all.
“Okay, let’s go,” She said to Cross, she looked back over at Beau who was busy searching for food in the fridge completely ignoring Cross. “It was nice to meet you, Beau.”
He closed the fridge door a bit giving Katerina a smile,
“It was my pleasure to meet you, Lil’ lady,” Beau says to her.
Cross made a weird noise that had me and Beau looking at her,
“is it nice to meet er’? Keep acting like I don’t exist; I’ll just have to hurt your Lil’ girlfriend.”
Beau opened his mouth to say something, but he thought better of it as he shut his mouth, winked at Cross licking his lips then he went back to searching for food.
****
The two odd new friends went towards the basement where I kept all my training equipment. Luckily, the shooting range was out back and that wasn’t the direction they were headed. When they were out of earshot, I sat on the stool near the kitchen island waiting for Beau to vent as he usually did whenever Cross was in his presence.
Beau grunted when he noticed that I was watching his every move.
“What?” He asked as he slammed my fridge. He turned those angry, amber eyes towards me.
I lifted my hands letting him know I was not about to attack him.
“Bear,” I called him by his childhood nickname. “I ain’t your enemy here. Talk to me.”
H
e sneered as he placed all the contents in his hands on the counter. He placed his hands on the edge of my all-white counter, gripping them as though he wanted to rip everything apart. It was worse than I thought.
“I can’t stay here with ‘er also bein’ here, Bubba,” He said. “She distracts me. She’s gon’ drive me crazy and not in the destructive sense. You know how much I tried to stay away from her’ this past year. When I’m in the same room as er’, I want to fight and fuck er’. You know how much she affects me. Do you know how hard I tried to stay away?”
I nodded even though he wasn’t looking my way,
“I know, so hard that you had to lie that you have a girlfriend. We both know you don’ have one.”
At this, he finally faced me.
“We’re not healthy for each other. We’re way too toxic together. There ain’t nothin’ but arguments, misunderstandings an’ so much. I’m tired of it, Bubba.” He sighed.
My twenty-six-year-old brother looked like he aged a bit.
“Have you ever considered, I don’t know, maybe therapy? You love her, don’t you?” I asked cautiously.
If he said no then I would drop it and never bring it up again. He shut his eyes, squeezing them tight.
“I love her so much; I don’ think it’s normal for me to feel this way about anyone. I know that we aren’t good for each other yet every cell in my body fights to be with ‘er.” He opened his eyes, “Is that how you felt when you saw Kat again? How can you be in er’ presence and not do a thing or touch her?”
I chuckled as I gripped my coffee mug drinking the black liquid wishing it was whiskey. I shook my head after placing it back down on the island,
“I don’ even know how I’m breathin’ right without touchin’ er’,” my accent coming out heavier than before. It always did this when I was around my brother or anyone from Tennessee. “I wrestle, battle with every single part of me including my min’ to comprehend that I can’t jump into this. I can’t let her break me as she did before. Sure, we both were at fault for some dumb fuckin’ shit that we could have solved right away but that’s not what happened with us. Bear, this shit ain’t easy. I want to take her in my arms all the time. I wanna love on er’ but my soul hurts for the way she ripped her part of it from me.”
