Dear, Carson McDermott (The Dear letters Series Book 1)

by King Ellie

  I sighed. This always happened with Beau and me. We somehow always ended up in a deep conversation about something. He was the only one who could have me pour out my soul so fast, it was an ability he had that I wished I possessed. I continued,

  “Maybe, I should take my own advice and take our asses to therapy. I know we fuckin’ need it. I don’ even know if I want it to work but I know that I can’t let her go, no matter what. Bear, I won’t ever love another like I love this girl, it’s never going to happen.” It was my turn to squeeze my eyes shut at the realization that wasn’t internal anymore but spoken out loud.

  Beau sighed,

  “Bubba,” he called my name out. I opened my eyes, looking at him. “For Jude, for you and for Kat, you should do it. I know that feelin’ of lovin’ someone so much even when ya think it’s bad for ya. Please, don’t let this McDermott curse continue. Be the first of us to break it, fight for your girl, Bubba. Do what I couldn’ do.” With that, Beau left his unprepared food and headed up the stairs. He was overwhelmed.

  He left me there thinking about his last words. Be the first of us to break it, fight for your girl…

  He was right. Enough was enough. I had to fight for this one more time. Give us one last chance before I ended up like my father. I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted love. I wanted my wife, Katerina Di’Maggio-McDermott, the woman molded for me. My Heaven sent.

  Chapter 16

  Katerina

  Cross or like she let me call her Lisette kicked my ass. I laid flat on the mat as I regulated my breathing. I shut my eyes, ready to pass the fuck out from this vigorous training. Who the hell did she think I was? I honestly was only trying to kill Carson’s mother. Like maybe shank her, or I don’t know, stab her repeatedly or, the best one, shoot her point-blank. But no, I didn’t get that luxury. Instead, Carson had me training with an Amazonian chocolate, drop-dead gorgeous woman who could probably kill me with a snap of her fingers.

  It had been five weeks of this insane training and I thought I was going to die. I swear, right now, I wasn’t even alive. She shoved food down my throat, damn I thought I wasn’t supposed to have carbs, but she educated me on the good and bad ones.

  “Five weeks and you’ve got some junk in your trunk once more huh?” I heard her say.

  I opened my eyes and she stood over me like some goddess. Her hair was up in a high tight bun showing off her features from her button nose, her big brown eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, and her arched brows. One of which was higher than the other as she stared at me.

  “Must you do this to me every day?” I groaned.

  She smiled as she extended her hand out to me. I took her hand in mine as she basically pulled my little ass up.

  “If you want to beat your enemies, you have to surprise em’. In order to surprise em’, you have to be faster than em’. Quick as fuck ya know?” She said shrugging.

  I nodded,

  “I do but does my ass have to hurt in the process too?”

  At this, she laughed all the way up the stairs. Was I that funny? Suddenly, she stopped laughing. When I looked where she was staring at, I saw Bear and Bubba as they were shadow boxing outside as Brownie watched. Brownie was now ten weeks, we got him when he was five weeks old. He was well behaved, probably because the poor little thing felt like me, up too damn early. I eyed Cross again,

  “Something on your mind? Spill, girl!” I said.

  She nervously chuckled as she finally snapped out of it and we headed in the direction of the kitchen.

  “More like when is he not on my mind,” she answered truthfully.

  What I liked about her was that she was so transparent with me. She was quickly becoming what she said we’d be, best friends.

  “Why don’t you just talk to him? You love him, right?”

  She arched that brow of hers again,

  “course I do. Fuck! I’d be with him now if I could but as Bear said to me numerous times when we decided to try this shit out, we’re toxic AF. He isn’t lyin’ either. I agree wit’ im’. I have a lot of issues, things I kept buried deep inside of me as we grew up trainin’, killin’ and all of that. There’s this darkness in me that not even Bear can exorcise out. We’ve tried, trust me so if that’s the next thing out of your mouth.”

  I smirked,

  “it’s not, smartass.” I chuckled. “What I was going to say was maybe that’s your issue. Both you and Bear, you keep trying to exorcise a part of you that’s clearly there to stay. Your darkness makes you who you are. It makes you strong and it brought you here today. Without that, you can’t be Cross. Bear can say whatever the fuck he wants but I see the way he looks at you. When you’re in the room, he doesn’t see a damn thing but you. His focus is on you. He may hide it but he’s a McDermott. I’ve noticed that’s a trait of theirs that they can’t shake. Stubborn as mules, transparent yet at the same time, a vault with so much information that they reveal at the right time. He loves you, I know this, but you guys have to stop for a moment and think, like can you love each other the way you are? Instead of changing who you are, how about you both accept who ya’ll are now? Fuck all the noise.”

  When I finished giving her advice, Cross clapped her hands.

  “You are wise, Katerina McDermott. Bubba knew to never let you go. How about you take that advice of yours and fuck that noise. Get rid of the extra baggage, huh?”

  I was confused,

  “what do you mean?”

  “Your bitch ass friend, Cassie. Don’t like her. I can smell her stank, rotten ass, ran through pussy from here and she’s not even in the house.”

  I gasped, trying not to laugh.

  “Lisette! She’s not ran through, oh my God.”

  Cross rolled her eyes,

  “Fuck that bitch. Get rid of ‘er, 'cause if I catch her sniffin’ around our boys one more time, I’ll knock her ass out cold.”

  I paused,

  “come again? Sniffing around how? Cause I haven’t even spoken to her since she came here. She’s been acting busy so why would she be around here?”

  Cross sat on the stool as I slid up on the counter.

  “apparently, she sent Bubba a nude from an anonymous number. He didn’ actually see it, he asked me to check his phone when we were doing some recon. I asked him if he was messin’ aroun’ on ya and I tol’ him about the picture describing her facial features. Bet ya she hasn’ talked to ya because I tol’ er’ I was gon’ inform you about it.”

  My blood was boiling at this point. I wasn’t even sure if I was seeing straight as I jumped off the counter grabbing Carson’s keys when I reached the foyer ready to beat Cassie’s ass like her momma never beat her before. I was going to show her that the woman who birthed her had done her a disservice by not giving her an ass whooping like she deserved but today, oh boy, this little bitch was going to get it. She sent MY man a nude. All while, ignoring my messages and acting busy as fuck? I heard some commotion behind me as I made it outside. As I pressed the fob for Carson’s truck, I felt a hand wrap around my waist.

  “Let go!” I yelled.

  I didn’t even register whose arm was around me. Then his voice made the fog disappear,

  “darlin’… Baby,” Carson said to me. That shocked me more than what Cross told me. I slowly turned around in his arms as my heart thundered in my chest. When I craned my neck up at him, he was smiling, “You goin’ somewhere?”

  I nodded.

  “Yes. I don’t appreciate my so-called friend sending you unsolicited pictures. You know I don’t fucking play when it comes to you. Hell, she knows that. I’m not in the mood to hear you say some shit like you’re uncomfortable with my statement. I’m not taking it back.” I boldly said to him.

  All Carson did was smile wider; he shook his head.

  “I wasn’ gon’ say all that,” he said. “What I was gon’ say was I’m drivin’.” He winked at me as he took the fob from me and led me towards his truck.

  I hopped in his truck and I saw
both Cross and Beau sitting in the back seats.

  Cross shrugged,

  “What? Maybe, you need back up?” She winked at me causing me to smile.

  I narrowed my eyes at Beau next. He shrugged too,

  “I never miss a good ass-whooping'. Never.” He said.

  I chuckled. Carson got in, started the car and drove off in the direction that I was dictating to him.

  ****

  Carson

  I didn’t have to ask Katerina where we were headed. She was already putting an address on my phone. I followed the GPS excited as ever. I guess I was supposed to feel bad about Cassie getting her ass handed to her but oh boy was I giddy. Nothing could ruin my day now.

  When I looked at where we arrived, my eyes widened. It was a law firm. I didn’t say anything as I parked the car. Katerina got out of the car and I followed not even bothering to wait for Beau and Cross. By the time, I reached the door to get into the firm, I heard screaming. My eyes widened, I walked faster to see and make sure all the action was going to be engraved in my mind. I passed the receptionist who seemed to stare down at the phone and then look back at the commotion going on in one of the offices. When she spotted me, she froze.

  “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. Call the cops or rather an ambulance. She might need it but let’s wait, about, uh… ten minutes?”

  She blinked but didn’t respond. I shrugged my shoulders as I made it to the narrow hall then I took a left. I didn’t even have to open the door because Cassie’s ass-whooping was on full display for everyone. I watched in amazement as my little wife hopped on Cassie’s desk, lunged at her and dragged her from her desk chair in front of a whole client by her hair. Cassie was screaming Katerina’s name trying to remove herself from that deathly grip. I leaned on the doorframe for support as I enjoyed the show. Katerina didn’t say a word as she threw Cassie on the floor. I knew what she was doing, and this was going to be fun. She moved back a bit letting Cassie get up, as soon as Cassie stood, Katerina slapped the shit out of Cassie. I flinched as if I was the one she did it to.

  The client was smart to stand from the chair that he was sitting in. He went in as if to help and then I moved in. “Either take your ass home or sit the fuck back down,” I said.

  He gasped as if now realizing that I was here. He took a good look at me and he raised his hands as if to show that he was not part of this. I sharply nodded at him as I saw a blur of blonde run behind me. Katerina growled,

  “I know this bitch did not just go hiding behind my husband!” Katerina screamed. “What have I ever done to you, Cassie? I’ve been a good friend to you. I never did you dirty, but you really wanted what was mine? If you think I won’t beat his ass to get to you then you’re wrong.”

  I cocked a brow at her. She was going to beat whose ass…Not mine. I smirked; I would let her have her moment. This wasn’t about me at all. I didn’t even hesitate as I moved when she charged. She was serious about going through me.

  Cassie didn’t act quick enough as Katerina swung knocking her out cold and flat on her ass. I grunted, licking my lips as I watched her breath heavily.

  “Damn,” I heard both Beau and Cross say.

  “I knew she was hiding something powerful behind those punches,” Cross said smiling as a proud mother would.

  I, on the other hand, had never been so turned on in my life. I knew this wasn’t the time or place, but I marched up to Katerina. I reached out for her hair, gripping it tight in my hand eliciting a hiss from her. I made her look up at me and the fire in her beautiful eyes was still so apparent. I didn’t think, I acted. I leaned in, roughly kissing her forgetting everyone around us. At first, Katerina seemed to be lost as she resisted, sort of trying to fight me off but then I bit her bottom lip hard. She moaned and I smiled as she melted into my roughness. This was something new for both of us. As time went on, I became rougher and I embraced it. As for her, she seemed to answer much more passionate to the roughness I gave her.

  “A room would be nice,” I heard Cross say in the background.

  Unfortunately, I didn’t give a shit. If I could, I’d fuck Katerina right here in front of the same girl who wanted me. I didn’t want her, never would, even if I couldn’t have Katerina, Cassie wouldn’t be it. Hopefully that knockout punch would get the message across.

  “Or,” Beau interjected. “We could all get arrested.”

  This gave me pause. I didn’t want my wife to get arrested for serving an ass-whooping.

  I reluctantly let go. Katerina still had her eyes closed as she smiled. I leaned in kissing her forehead,

  “Let’s go, shall we?”

  Katerina nodded when I let go of her hair. She walked by an unconscious Cassie and kicked her in the stomach.

  “Okay, that’s enough.” I chuckled as I wrapped an arm around her waist picking her up and leaving the firm with her.

  “You sticking up for her?” She teased.

  I snickered. “No, but I do know that it’s better to have the person conscious so they can remember and feel every part of the ass-whooping'.” I winked at her as she rolled her eyes.

  “Whatever.”

  ****

  When we got back to the house, Katerina went up to take a shower. Usually, I’d leave her alone. It was getting hard for me to touch her. Every single time, I’d think back to what it felt like to be buried deep inside her or when she would be on top. I loved the expression on her face whenever she showed me how much she wanted me.

  I sighed as I found myself standing in front of the en-suite bathroom door. I took a deep breath, fuck it. I cracked my neck as I opened the door shutting it behind me. Katerina was lost in her moment that she didn’t even bother to look and see who just came in. I removed my shirt, my jeans and whatever else I had on. I stepped into the open shower right behind her. I leaned down pressing my lips on her bare shoulder. Katerina shuddered but didn’t say anything as she leaned into my body. Damn, it’s been so long since I last felt her body on mine. My dick didn’t even need a moment as it recognized her. The softness of her, the plushness and just all of her glory as it stood to its full potential. I groaned as I softly bit her neck then her shoulder. I ran the palms of my hands from her shoulders, all the way around to her stomach.

  “Carson…” Katerina called my name out and I took it in as though this was the last time she’d ever say it.

  I didn’t answer her. Instead, I let my hands, fingers, every part of me show her that I missed her, it was more than that… I yearned for her in a way that no woman had ever made me feel. If I died at this moment, it will still be okay because I was with her. I touched her again, grazed my fingertips over her skin.

  I began teasing her clit. Making sure that she knew that I never forgot how to pleasure her. I knew she was going to resist me, call it punishment or retribution, I didn’t give two fucks. Just as long as she let me do this to her. I planted kisses on her neck, her cheek, anything I had access to as I increased the speed on her teasing causing her to throw her head back resting it on my chest. She shuddered as my other hand came up playing with her nipple. After a minute or two, I rather felt than heard her as she orgasmed.

  I didn’t want this to end so instead of telling her what I was going to do, I was going to show her. I shut the water off quickly not even bothering to dry our bodies. I picked her up in my arms as I did after we got married. We crossed the bathroom threshold to the bedroom. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the bed as I risked a glance her way. Katerina was gazing at me with such love and lust mixed in, it drove my body into a different dimension. I growled as I placed her on her feet. I cocked an eyebrow as she took a couple of steps back then stood there admiring me from head to toe. I began walking towards her, I knew the features on my face changed because her eyes widened for a split second. As if debating whether to run or stay. I was slowly stalking towards my prey while she was taking steps back. I placed my palm over my chest making sure to deliberately take my sweet time as I brought it down to my
dick.

  Katerina’s eyes followed as if she were glued to my hand and what I was going to do next. My entire body shuddered as I gripped my dick in such a tight grip, the jolt traveled throughout every part of me. Instead of pain, I felt such a pleasure that precum leaked. I licked my lips as Katerina watched every movement I made. I spread the precum, using it as lube. My hand moved up and down my dick,

  “Are you ready to be fucked or do you plan on runnin’?” I asked Katerina.

  My voice came out so rough, that I wasn’t sure if it was me speaking at first. Katerina’s eyes traveled up my body finally stopping at mine.

  “What if I run?” She asked.

  At this point, I knew that she wasn’t teasing but so serious.

  “If you run, I’ll catch you. That won’t be the end of it either, I’ll fuck you right then and there. Making sure that you’ll learn to never fuckin’ run from me again. You’ve done it once, don’t do that shit again.”

  Goosebumps appeared on her flesh while I was so sure that I was wearing that demonic smirk I saved for those I wanted to kill. Katerina ran into a wall but that didn’t stop her, instead, her eyes darted around trying to make sure she was in the line of her exit. She wasn’t that far from the bedroom door.

  “You’re looking at me like you’re going to kill me,” She admitted.

  I lightly chuckled,

  “I don’t want to kill you darlin’,” I answered.

  “You don’t?”

  I shook my head still keeping the rhythm of pleasuring myself. This was going to be my favorite type of fourplay.

  “Nah, I need you alive but your pussy,” I growled stopping all movements.

  I stood there like a jungle cat ready to pounce knowing damn well that my prey had no idea what was going to happen next. Katerina’s eyes sparkled, just like I told her they do when she enjoyed this rougher me. She made a step in the direction of the door and I smiled, I didn’t give her a chance to even take another one as I rushed her. I slammed her body into the wall, my arm came around her waist as I lifted her up mine. Before she could say or do anything, I pushed all the way in. I didn’t even prepare her for this but fuck, I should’ve prepared my damn self. I visibly and vocally shuddered as her walls held me in a chokehold. If I wanted the ultimate pleasure I couldn’t stop. I began roughly fucking her up the wall, I knew I should’ve been holding her head so that she didn’t hurt herself, but this wasn’t the time nor the place.