The Supernaturalist

by Eoin Colfer

  Ditto hurried across the pig-iron surface, skirting the oily puddles that had been eating through the roof over the years. Mona clambered on top of the roof box. From there she could see everything; but from his low vantage point, Ditto could not see her.

  The diminutive Supernaturalist crossed to the northern corner of the building. The Statue of Endeavor punctuated the skyline beyond him, its red light winking in his hand. There was a blue light too. Closer. On the rooftop itself. Mona drew a sharp breath. A single Parasite lay in the shadow of the roof’s edge. That explained it. Ditto must have seen the creature on the Parabola and had come to investigate.

  What would he do now? He never carried a weapon, and Stefan had already detonated their only energy surge. Mona was about to leap down from the roof box and join her companion when Ditto did a strange thing. He knelt down before the creature and held out his hand. The Parasite, weak from lack of energy, its pulsating heart a dull blue, reached out its four-fingered hand toward Ditto’s. They were acknowledging each other. Communicating.

  Mona nearly fell off the roof. This was incredible. Who was Ditto? What was he? All this time, had he been a traitor in their midst? She fumbled her phone from her pocket, calling up Stefan’s number on the speed dial. But no. That wasn’t enough. It would still be her word against Ditto’s. She needed more.

  Mona’s phone was a pretty old one, without much in the way of technology. But it did have picture capabilities. Sixty seconds of video or a hundred stills. Mona selected video, and pointed the phone’s fish-eye lense toward Ditto and his blue friend. Just in time to see Ditto deliberately cut his finger with a penknife and offer the wound to the Parasite. The creature wrapped four fingers around the wound, draining a silver stream of life force. In seconds its natural bright blue color had been restored. It released Ditto, and floated to its feet.

  Mona checked the video to make sure she had seen what she thought she’d seen. Ditto had healed the Parasite. It all made sense now. Of course Ditto never carried a rod, of course he had argued against the energy pulse. He was in league with the Parasites.

  Ditto was sucking the wound on his finger when the elevator door opened. Stefan and Cosmo were back. They were gathered around Mona in a tight group, looking at something. Her phone screen.

  “Hey, what is that?” asked the Bartoli baby. “One of those comedy e-mails? Some of those things are hilarious.”

  Stefan took the phone in trembling hands. His face was tight and pale. “Yes, Ditto. Do you want to take a look? It’s a real scream. By the way, what happened to your finger?”

  Pins and needles erupted all over Ditto’s back. “I caught it on that panel, on the elevator door. You know the one that sticks out.”

  “I know the one. Here, have a look.”

  Ditto took the phone, pressing the play triangle. For a moment he didn’t realize what he was looking at, but then it became terrifyingly clear. He had been caught. Rumbled. Finally. After all this time, the moment of truth had come. Or, the moment for truth.

  “Okay,” he said, handing back the phone. “This looks bad, I know, but I can explain.”

  Stefan looked straight ahead, avoiding Ditto’s eyes. “Pack your gear and get out. I want you gone by morning.”

  “Wait a minute. Hear me out.”

  Mona advanced on the Bartoli baby. “All this time, why didn’t I see it? No wonder you wouldn’t shoot the Parasites. No wonder you argued against anything that might actually work.”

  Ditto backed up a step. “Anything that might actually work? It wasn’t like that.”

  “What was it like then, Ditto? Every day, stabbing us in the back. Stabbing humans everywhere in the back. Why don’t you go over to Clarissa Frayne and heal all those Parasites Cosmo just blew up?”

  Ditto hung his head. “I wish I could,” he mumbled.

  The comment enraged Stefan. He picked Ditto up by the collar, standing him on a workbench. “You wish you could! How long have you been betraying us, Ditto? From the very beginning? Three years?”

  The accusations beat down on Ditto like hammer blows. The little man seemed to shrink even further, hunching in on himself.

  Stefan poked him in the chest. “If I see you again, I will treat you like an enemy, and believe me, you don’t want that.”

  “You don’t understand, Stefan,” protested the Bartoli baby. “You don’t see what’s happening.”

  Stefan laughed in his face. “Oh, let me guess, another conspiracy theory. Myishi is running us for their own ends. Ellie Faustino has been lying through her teeth.”

  The truth burst out of Ditto like a missile. “They take pain!” he blurted.

  Cosmo felt that something big was coming. Whatever Ditto said next would change all of their lives forever.

  “The Parasites take pain. Not life force, just pain. They help us. They have always helped us.”

  Stefan turned his back on Ditto. He didn’t want to hear this. “Rubbish. You’ll say anything to save your skin.”

  “Do you remember what Lincoln asked me at the junk-yard?”

  Mona remembered. “Your mutes. He asked if you were sensitive.”

  Ditto sat on the bench. “Bartoli babies often have certain gifts. I have healing hands. I can take your pain away.”

  “I knew it,” said Cosmo. “After my accident, you took my headache. You said it was the medicine, but it was you.”

  Ditto nodded. “This gift is something I have in common with the Parasites. We do the same thing; maybe that’s why I’m sensitive to them. I feel the supernatural, and they feel me. People call it second sight.”

  Cosmo remembered something. “Back in the junkyard, Lincoln said you had healing hands. I thought he was talking about you being a medic, but he knew taking pain was a Bartoli mutation.”

  Ditto examined his own palms. “They’re not actually healing hands. Nothing heals the body faster than the body itself. I just take away pain.”

  Stefan absolutely refused to believe it. “This is junk. All junk.”

  “Parasites are nature!” Ditto persisted. “They are energy converters, just like me. Just like every other being on the planet in one way or another. All my life I’ve been able to see them. To feel them. I was afraid of them at first, until I realized they were just doing what I did. They aren’t some malignant species. They’re attracted to pain. They take it and convert it to energy. The cycle of all life.”

  Stefan whirled. His face was red with barely suppressed anger. “And what about my mother? I saw what the Parasites did to her.”

  “She was dying,” said Ditto softly. “They helped her. They eased her passing. The Parasites take the pain away, when it’s too late for the body to heal itself. That used to be the case before they began multiplying out of control. Before we upset the natural order.”

  “One reason. Give us one good reason to believe you now, when you have lied to us for so long.”

  Ditto sat at the table, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “For as long as I can remember, the creatures have been there. We don’t communicate exactly. Not like humans, but we sense each other. I know when they’re agitated or sleepy. There was one other Bartoli baby with the same ability. Number eighty-two. But the second sight terrified him, drove him insane. Now he lives in Booshka and wears a blindfold. Never takes it off. I didn’t go crazy, because I suspected the creatures were there to help us: make the pain bearable, prepare us for the next life.”

  Cosmo interrupted. “There’s a next life?”

  “Yes. I catch glimpses of it every now and then.”

  Even Mona was interested. “What’s it like?”

  Ditto thought about it. “Different.”

  “Quiet!” yelled Stefan. “All of you. If this is true, why didn’t you tell me years ago?”

  Ditto lifted his eyes. “I almost told you a million times, but I had no real proof except what I felt. For the first time ever I was part of a family and saying what I felt would have destroyed that. And for wha
t? You would never have believed me then without proof. If anything, you were more fanatical in the beginning. Time is beginning to mellow you, Stefan. Recently you’ve even started to worry about the troops. That’s a new development.”

  “You could have tried!”

  “I know I should have, but I decided to do what I could from within. You weren’t actually destroying the Parasites—I felt that all along—and I was able to do whatever I could for the accident victims. I didn’t know we were helping the creatures reproduce.”

  “Fight from the inside,” muttered Cosmo.

  Ditto nodded. “Exactly, and it would have been just fine if Myishi hadn’t got involved. Do you realize what you did tonight, Stefan? If what you say is true, you killed a huge number of the creatures. I wish I’d had the courage to tell you the truth earlier, but I never thought this energy pulse scheme would work. Scientifically it shouldn’t. How many humans are in pain right now because I stayed quiet? Humans like your mother?”

  Stefan began to shake. “Shut up!”

  “You don’t want to listen, Stefan, because for years you’ve had someone to blame for your mother’s death. This is the truth, Stefan. Accept it.”

  “I don’t know what it is, but it’s not the truth. Nothing you’ve ever told us was the truth. You wouldn’t know the truth if it popped out of a manhole and took a bite out of your Bartoli backside.”

  Ditto took out his phone. “Just call Faustino. Tell her you have reservations. Ask her team of scientists to study the possibility that these creatures do not drain life force, just pain. Natural anesthesia.”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because if I’m right, thousands of people are crippled with pain who shouldn’t be. Just as your mother wasn’t, at the end. Just as you weren’t, if you let yourself remember.”

  Cosmo remembered how, after his rooftop fall, his pain had disappeared the moment the creature had touched him. He remembered how all he’d felt was calm. No fear.

  “And if you’re wrong?” asked Stefan.

  Ditto stood on the bench, drawing himself up to his full height. “If I’m wrong, I’ll pop out of a manhole and take a bite out of my own Bartoli backside.”

  Ellen Faustino was in the car when Stefan called. “I thought I might be hearing from you, Stefan,” she said, a smile tugging at one corner of her lips. “That was you at the Satellite, wasn’t it? Floyd Faustino indeed. However did you get those access codes? Surely I didn’t accidentally allow you to glimpse my computer screen.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Stefan innocently.

  “I thought you might take matters into your own hands,” continued Ellen. “In fact I hoped you might. Sometimes the red tape just takes too long to unravel.”

  “It’s starting to sound like I’m working for you, Professor Faustino.”

  Faustino’s smile widened. “Yes, it does, doesn’t it? That was you at Clarissa Frayne, too, I presume. The Supernaturalists don’t waste any time, do they?”

  Stefan chose his words carefully. “If that was us, and I’m not for one second admitting that it might have been, then we may have a problem.”

  Ellie frowned. “A problem? But the energy pulse worked perfectly. I would have preferred if you hadn’t knocked out the power in ten city blocks, but it was short term, and my team have been gathering Un-spec four bodies all morning.”

  It was Stefan’s turn to frown. “Gathering bodies? What for? Why?”

  Ellie held a finger to her lips. “I don’t want to say any more on a company line, I’ve already said too much. Just excited, I suppose. You can see for yourself on your next visit.”

  “To pick up my paycheck?” said Stefan wryly.

  “I’m a busy woman, Stefan. What’s this problem that has you so worried?”

  “One of my team, a soon to be ex-member, feels that the Parasites, Un-spec four that is, may not be as malignant as we thought. He believes that they simply ease our suffering. Take our pain, as it were. If that’s true, then there’s no need to fight them.”

  “What?” Faustino paused. “I can’t imagine how that would be possible, but I’ll put my entire team on it immediately. No more energy pulses until we determine the truth. Just stand down for the time being, until we can put some trials together. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of weeks to get results. Can you wait that long?”

  “I’ve waited three years,” replied Stefan. “I can wait a couple of weeks.”

  Faustino’s eyes were downcast. “I know that this must be hard for you to accept, Stefan. But, remember, nothing has been proven yet. We may still be on the right track.”

  “Two weeks,” said Stefan, closing the phone.

  Ditto released a breath he’d been holding for almost the entire call. “Two weeks. I’m right, you’ll see.”

  Stefan threw his phone to him. “I don’t want to hear it, Ditto. Whatever the results of Professor Faustino’s trials, you’ve been lying to us for years. We put our faith and our lives in your hands, and they never were your priority.”

  “I never did anything to hurt anybody or anything. I won’t apologize for that.”

  “It’s too late for apologies, Ditto. You deceived us all. We can’t trust you anymore. At first light, I want you out of here.”

  Ditto looked up into Stefan’s eyes. They were hard and hurt. “Very well. If that’s how you want it, that’s how it will be.”

  Stefan turned his back on the Bartoli baby. “That’s how I want it,” he said.

  Cosmo lay on his bunk, watching a cluster of rust mites eating into a bolt head on the ceiling. It seemed that as soon as the Supernaturalists came out of one crisis, another one dropped from the sky on their heads. Cosmo felt like a rat in a maze, never knowing what seemingly innocent course of action would lead to disaster. And for what? So they could persecute a group of supernatural creatures who were just trying to help mankind? If what Ditto said was true.

  Look on the bright side, he told himself. At least your hair is growing. In a couple of months, you won’t look like the back end of a troll anymore.

  Mona appeared in the doorway to his cubicle. “Oye, you awake?”

  Cosmo sat up on the bunk. “Yes. I got a couple of hours sleep, but I dreamed about Ditto.”

  Mona perched on the end of the bunk. “I know what you mean. I don’t think Stefan can cope with this. First he’s helping the Parasites multiply, then it seems they were only trying to take our pain.”

  “If Ditto is right.”

  “Yes, if Ditto is right.”

  Mona pulled her hair back into a ponytail, wrapping a band around it. “I’ve been thinking about moving on, Cosmo. Maybe getting a job with Jean-Pierre in Booshka—he’s been trying to rope me in for years. Anyway, if he’s not going to be around much longer, someone has to keep the gangs’ cars on the road.”

  Cosmo felt his stomach churn. The idea of Mona actually leaving had never occurred to him. “Are you sure? You seem like such an action girl.”

  Mona smiled. “Yeah, I love the shoot-’em-up. It’s like a vid game. Blast the evil blue aliens. But they’re not aliens, and maybe they’re not even evil. I don’t think I could point a rod at something unless I was one-hundred-percent certain.”

  Cosmo nodded. He felt the same.

  “So I was thinking. I’m going to need a grease monkey. Someone who learns quick. You think you could do a sim-oil change?”

  Cosmo grinned, his teeth shining in the darkness. “Me? You want me to come with you?”

  Mona punched his shoulder. “Why not? We make a good team. You’re always saving me . . .”

  Cosmo opened his mouth to say yes, but the word stuck in his throat. “I’d love to, Mona. There’s nothing I’d like more, but Stefan took me in.”

  Mona’s eyes were sad, but not surprised. “I understand, Cosmo. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere until Ellen Faustino has finished her tests. Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

  “Maybe,” said
Cosmo gloomily. Just him and Stefan. What a laugh riot that would be.

  Myishi paralegals were very good at being quiet. An entire squadron could run past a deer, and the animal would never even cock its head. They also had a lot of high-tech gadgetry that helped them to be even more sneaky. Each paralegal carried a total of thirty pounds of equipment to help them climb, cut, burn, and capture.

  The paralegals and their thirty pounds were transported through the air by Myishi Whisper Copters, a combination helicopter and glider with vertical liftoff capability and rigid glider wings. Not to mention, enough armament to obliterate anything stupid enough to point more than a finger at it.

  The paralegals had several methods of entry in their manual, but their all-time favorite was ghostlike. They liked their quarry to wake up in a cellophane wrap, with no idea how he got there. No fatalities. Less paperwork.

  Abracadabra Street was no great challenge for a squadron that had broken into several foreign banks, two crime lords’ strongholds, and a private kindergarten. They simply rappelled down the walls, set radio jammers to cancel out the motion sensors, and adhered large squares of glass solvent to the windows.

  When the squadron leader gave the command, the paralegals passed a current through the solvent squares and suckered the windows out of their panes. The entire procedure was covered by the building’s heavy curtains.

  Two dozen paralegals entered the premises through various entrances, and set their goggles for body heat. When the command was given they split into four groups and went after their specified targets.

  In truth, many of the paralegals felt slightly disappointed. They had heard a lot about the vigilante Stefan Bashkir, and were hoping he would make a real fight of it. But it looked as though this would be done the easy way. Nobody would resist them here. It didn’t even look like anyone was awake.

  Cosmo opened his eyes to find three Myishi paralegals in his cubicle. One was jacking a cartridge into his rod. Cosmo took a deep breath to inflate his chest.

  “You’ve done this before,” said the paralegal, pulling the trigger.

  * * *

  Mona, always a light sleeper, actually made it out of the bed before they got her. Amazingly, for a girl with no formal combat training, she managed to incapacitate two paralegals before the third tagged her with a Shocker. They waited until she had stopped shaking to hit her with a cellophane slug.