Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4)

by Sarah O'Rourke

  Eyeing him closely, Bree tapped her pen against the white page of her notebook. “With all that said and out there, Zeke, don’t you think it would be extremely difficult for a young woman – a woman whose only experience with sex was an act of violence committed by multiple men – to trust you on an emotional level? When Honor is ready to pursue a relationship, it’s going to need to be with someone that understands what she can offer him...someone who is willing to accept whatever emotional and sexual boundaries she sets in the relationship. For a man that has just told me that he’s fundamentally a dominant man, I’m hard-pressed to see how that could work out for you, Zeke. We can’t change what we are at our core, and common sense would indicate that Honor isn’t exactly going to be the sexually adventurous sort.”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Zeke snapped. “I’m not stupid, Bree. I might not have a string of initials after my name, but I do understand logic. But what you’re discounting is how much I love your patient. Love is hard. I get it. I’ll do the work.”

  “Zeke, one person can’t do all the work in a relationship. Honor has to do her part, too, and from where I sit, it doesn’t seem like Honor wants the same thing you do. At least, not right now.”

  “Honor is afraid to reach for what she wants because she’s afraid she’ll get hurt. It’s my job to show her that she won’t.”

  “Are you sure about that, Sheriff? Those darker sexual cravings that you had…”

  “I want Honor’s happiness more than I will ever need to satisfy my need to dominate. Besides, in case you’ve missed it, Honor isn’t exactly the assertive type, Doc. Unless somebody is trying to get her to face her demons, she’s a gentle, soft-spoken woman with a strong set of morals and values. Her idea of a perfect day is a morning in of baking followed by an afternoon of spoiling her baby nieces and nephews. She’s an unapologetic homebody that loves curling up in the evening in front of a fire with a cup of cocoa and a good book. My brave girl is a throwback to a different time. And whether you see it or not, Honor and I fit. She’s soft where I’m hard. She’s strong where I’m weak. It sounds like a fuckin’ Hallmark movie, but we’re supposed to be. I know that down to the marrow in my bones.”

  Bree inhaled deeply, her gaze moving over his face. “You certainly make a compelling case for yourself. If this was a movie, I’d be rooting for you, Zeke. However, we both are aware this is real life, and in real life sometimes the happy ending never arrives. You need to be prepared for that.”

  “That I will not accept,” Zeke stated firmly. “I can’t.”

  Sighing, Bree finally dropped her eyes away from his. “Well, for now let’s concentrate on getting Honor to accept that she needs some help facing her past and making sure that she’s as safe in her present as we can possibly make her. I couldn’t help overhearing part of your conversation with Sunshine earlier. I know that Honor is still facing some very real threats. Do you think this stalker she has is one of the men that raped her?”

  “I can’t put anything off the table, Bree. Based on some of the photographs that Sunny said are in this box,” he said, lifting the shoebox slightly, “I’d say it’s a definite possibility. I’ll know more after we analyze them.”

  Bree frowned. “Honor’s kept this box a secret?”

  “Yeah. She has. In fairness though, we already knew she had someone watching her. We knew she was getting threats, but we thought we were keeping it from her.”

  “So, really, you lied to her first. Not very wise, Zeke. Lying to someone isn’t exactly the way to build a relationship foundation.”

  “I do what I need to do in order to keep Honor alive and safe. Safe includes making sure she’s able to sleep at least a few hours a night. I thought that’s what I was doing. I can admit that I was wrong. As you probably already know, I’m living with Honor right now.”

  “I heard.”

  Zeke couldn’t tell whether the woman approved or not. It didn’t really matter; he’d do whatever was necessary to keep Honor safe. “When I can’t be with her, I make sure she has at least one guard watching her. There are a handful of people she trusts, mostly those she considers family. We all assumed that we were intercepting all the notes. Obviously, we assumed incorrectly.”

  “I see. Well when you are confronting Honor about this box you now hold, you might remember that she wasn’t the only one keeping things to herself. The good news is that it is a possibility that during therapy Honor will be able to unlock some memories that might help you learn her attackers’ identities, but it’ll take time, Zeke. And, I don’t want you to assume that Honor will automatically accept my help when she wakes. I’ll begin by introducing myself as her doctor and explain that she has to be assessed before being released from the hospital to assure she’s not a threat to herself. I’ll encourage her to make an appointment with me for further counseling. She’s going to refuse.”

  Zeke’s face hardened. “We’ll have to convince her otherwise. She needs your help, Doc. I don’t give a shit what she tells you.”

  “I know,” Bree murmured with a nod. “I’ve already spoken to her sisters and aunt about it. If Honor refuses my help tonight, we’ll simply be forced to approach this from another direction. One she’s going to be angry about.”

  “What are you talking about?” Zeke asked suspiciously, his inky eyebrows drawing together.

  “I’m talking about an intervention where her family, her friends, even her co-workers confront her and let her know that they think she needs help. In fact, they’re going to have to insist on it and let Honor know that they won’t support her choices or be her support system otherwise.”

  “You want to bully her into accepting help from you,” he noted tightly, not exactly sure of this method she was suggesting.

  “Well, has molly coddling her worked thus far?” Bree asked without judgment. “You said it to Sunshine earlier, Zeke. It’s time to force Honor’s hand. Without doubt, it’ll be ugly and painful. And probably very loud. But, in the end, it’s completely essential to her accepting help.”

  Zeke reluctantly nodded. He hated the thought of ganging up on Honor. She’d feel hurt and betrayed, and he already accepted that it would gut him to see her in pain, but he also knew that they were all out of options.

  “When?” he asked.

  “Probably sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening. It’ll depend on how quickly you all can get everyone in one place. If she does well tonight and comes around the way I hope she will, I’ll probably release her from the hospital in the late morning.

  “Everyone will drop everything for Honor. She’s just that important to us all,” Zeke shared quietly.

  “I know you’re scared for her, Zeke. Terrified of losing her. Worried she’ll shut you out. And I can’t say that she probably won’t. In all likelihood, she will. Initially. But in a few days… most individuals in Honor’s position see reason. It’s just going to be incredibly agonizing for you and the rest of those that care about her while you wait for her to come around. The good news is that Honor has an overwhelmingly supportive family at its core. She’s also seen what good, healthy relationships and marriages look like. I guess I just want you to know that there’s hope for you both, but there’s no miracle fix here. We’re all going to have to do the work.”

  “With this task, I’m fully invested, Bree. Just guide the way. I’ll follow,” Zeke ordered.

  “I’m going to remember you said that, Sheriff.”

  Chapter Ten

  Honor

  Awareness crept back into Honor McKinnon’s sluggish consciousness, like curtains being slowly parted to allow in the sun. At first, the light was blinding, but her tired eyes slowly adjusted to the glare bearing down on her from above her face. It took her a lengthy moment, however for her muddled thoughts to clear enough to ascertain that it wasn’t the sun beating down on her face. The sun would have warmed her, but this light was cold and she felt… nothing. Blinking, her vision cleared and she realized that the sun was act
ually overhead lights. The kind you saw when you were flat on your back in a hospital bed.

  Inhaling quickly, she tried to lift a hand to shield her eyes, but found it heavy and uncooperative. What the hell was going on? Why was it so hard to move even the tiniest bit? And why did her mind feel like a jumbled mass of buzzing insects had taken up residence inside her skull?

  Squeezing her eyes closed to block out that obnoxious brightness, she struggled to remember what had happened to lead her to her current prone position. Her memories were like broken fragments of a portrait, all jagged edges and oddly sized pieces crowding inside her brain. Each one fought for a place of prominence as images flew through her psyche.

  Okay, deep breaths, she silently coached herself as she grappled with the throbbing pain in her head. Latching onto her first coherent thought, she recalled being at the café. She’d gone back to her small office just off the kitchen and closed the door because the noise had been making the pounding in her head worse.

  Good God! That headache had been the worst one she’d experienced yet, but she’d gotten another one of those awful notes and it had set off a migraine of epic proportions. She’d done okay until she’d seen the photograph that her invisible tormenter had left for her with his typed message. This one had been of her sprawled in the dirt, unconscious, bleeding and naked. And she’d known right down to her chilled soul that her stalker of the past several months was, without much doubt, one of her attackers from that long ago night when her life had been irrevocably altered. And if he wasn’t one of those men that nearly killed her, then he knew who those men were. Because the person that had taken those photos had definitely been there.

  She just wished she could remember more about that night.

  She grimaced as she recognized that there were a lot more recent memories she needed to retrieve before she worried about a night more than eight years in the past. Swallowing painfully, the movement contracted her scratchy, sore throat. Licking her dry lips, she strained to remember what had happened next after she’d gone into the office this morning. She could remember closing the door and putting that hideous note and photo in the shoebox with the others she’d been hiding over the last few months. She still felt horribly guilty about keeping that secret, but showing those pictures to Zeke… or to anyone, really, was more than she could bear. Having him see her like that again…so broken and ugly…it was too much.

  She just wanted to put those memories behind her and forget it ever happened. Unfortunately, her tormenter had other plans for her. In fact, that black souled heathen seemed intent on driving her right out of her ever-lovin’ mind. Good gracious, had that madman somehow landed her where she was now?

  Tussling with the pieces of her recollections that she could easily recall, she knew her head had been hurting fiercely. Honestly, it’d been so painful, she’d wondered if her brain might burst out of her skull at any moment. She’d been desperate to make that horrendous ache stop. So desperate that she’d been willing to ferret out that bottle of pills she’d been given for her migraines from the doctor. She hated ‘em. They always made her feel funny after she took them, but they did make the banging in her head stop, and at the time that sounded like heaven. She’d popped a couple of the pills with a bottle of water that had been on the corner of her desk. She’d known she was really only supposed to take one capsule, but the pain was too awful. One pill probably wouldn’t have even dulled the clamor in her noggin. Then she’d lain down on the small loveseat against the wall opposite her desk and….

  Nothing.

  That’s where her vague recollections ended.

  No matter how hard she thought on it, there was just nothing else for her to remember and trying to make herself recall anything else just made her head start to throb all over again.

  Moaning softly, the sound seemed to echo in her ears as her eyelids fluttered and she tried to force her body to sit up.

  “Easy, there,” a deep, somewhat recognizable voice warned. “You finally up, kid?”

  Slowly, Honor’s eyes focused on the looming figure beside her bed, the image coming into sharper focus? “I-Ice? W-where’s Zeke?” Honor asked, her unused voice cracking slightly as she tried to sit up, her eyes already darting all over the room as she searched for Ezekiel. “W-what…why are you here? And where’s here? Where am…Is this a hospital room?”

  “Funny that my brother is the first thing you ask for when you claim not to give a shit about him,” Ice noted icily.

  “I never said I didn’t give a sh…fig about your brother. You know I care about him,” Honor defended herself hoarsely, her eyes darkening as they stared at Zeke’s brother.

  “Funny way you have of showing that, Honor. If the way you treat my brother is how you ‘care’, why don’t you try hating him? It might be kinder,” he retorted caustically. “You know, my mom did this whole hot and cold act with my dad, too. One day she’d lead him to believe that she couldn’t live without him, and the next she’d be treating him like shit. It’s cruel to keep a man hanging on, hoping for something he’ll never have, Honor. If you love Zeke, good. I’ll be happy as hell for him. If you don’t, though, you should finally cut him fucking loose. Because watching him have the life scared out of him these past several hours by you… that shit’s getting old. My brother deserves better.”

  “I’ve always thought your brother deserved better than me,” Honor exploded, wincing and grabbing the side of her head as her shout seemed to amplify the pain in her temples. “Always, Ice! You don’t need to tell me something I’ve always known!”

  Momentarily stunned, Ice stared down at the young woman. “Maybe that didn’t come out the way it should have…”

  “You said what you meant and meant what you said, Zachariah,” Honor snapped tightly. “Just tell me what’s going on, Ice? Why the devil are you bein’ so ugly to me? Or maybe I should say, uglier than usual since lately, you’re never anything but awful to me,” she amended, growing alarmed the longer the unnerving man stared at her with cold eyes. He might be Zeke’s brother, but Zachariah Monroe had a way of making her feel guilty when she didn’t even know she’d committed a crime. He hadn’t always been that way. There’d been a time when he’d been as warm and caring as Ezekiel. But war and a doomed love affair had soured him, hardening his heart. Some days, she felt like he directed all that anger at her alone since he seemed to have a fine relationship with her sisters, and she’d wondered more than once what she’d ever done to offend him and make him dislike her so much.

  “It’s not ugly to tell you the truth, girl,” Ice informed her roughly, his jaw clenching as his face flushed. “You may not believe it, but I am real sorry for all you’ve been through, Honor. The shit that’s happened to you… it’s fucked up, but I love my brother. I’m sick of seeing him so torn up over you. Especially when you don’t appreciate that you’ve got a damn fine man tryin’ like hell to love you. As for what’s goin’ on, why don’t you tell me, kid? You’re the one that swallowed those pills, after all. What did you think was going to happen?” he accused harshly.

  Confused, Honor stared at the obviously angry man blankly. “What in the world are you talking about, Zachariah Monroe?” she questioned, truly puzzled. Was this fool actually implying that she’d deliberately tried to take her own life? As it became clearer that was exactly what he thought, she felt herself growing furious.

  Gripping the metal rail on the side of her hospital bed, Ice’s piercing eyes bore into Honor with the force of a bullet. “Did you know while you were swallowing those fucking pills that you were killing yourself? Did a part of you hope that it would be my goddamn brother that found your ass? Or was it really just a freaky coincidence that the unhappy girl took meds that would take down a fuckin’ horse?”

  “How dare you?” Honor seethed, her cerulean eyes darkening to a deep blue as she gripped the sheet covering her body with clenched fingers. “In the past decade, I have survived my parents’ deaths, a kidnapping, being gang-ra
ped, multiple surgeries, a drive by shooting, shoving a knife in one of my rapist’s back, a car accident, and a hostage stand-off, you self-righteous son of a goat! And you think that after all of that, I’m going to try and commit suicide to get your brother’s attention? You think I’m that desperate?” Honor screamed, her shrill voice jarring Ice into taking a step back from the bed. “Get out!” she shouted, ignoring the pounding in her head. “Get out, get out, get out!” she shrieked, unable to control her rage as helpless, angry tears flowed down her cheeks.

  Holding up his hands in front of him, Ice tried to speak. “Honor, just listen…”

  “Out!” she yelled as the door to her hospital room flew open and Zeke’s broad body filled the doorway.

  “What the fuck is going on?” she heard him growl, his deep voice deadly as Ice turned to face his brother.

  “I want him out! I want them both out!” Honor begged, spotting the familiar female doctor that had followed Zeke into the room. She wanted Zachariah gone, and she wasn’t sure she could handle talking to Zeke now, knowing that he thought she had tried to commit suicide. Didn’t anyone know her at all? “Please, make them go,” Honor sobbed. “I want them to go! I swear, Ice is wrong! I didn’t do anything to myself on purpose,” she told the woman she knew was Aubrey Daniels, a new physician in Paradise and her gynecologist’s sister.

  Zeke’s eyes blazed dangerously. “That’s what he said to you?” he asked Honor incredulously before his livid eyes went back to his older sibling. “You fucking said that shit to my woman?” he asked, his voice deceptively soft.

  Honor saw the violent intention swirling in Zeke’s eyes and knew he was on the verge of attacking. “Zeke, no!” she yelled, throwing the sheet off her legs, praying she could convince her heavy limbs to move. Thankfully, Aubrey Daniels bravely stepped between the two men before Honor had to try and stand.