Man of Honor (Passion in Paradise Book 4)

by Sarah O'Rourke

  “Yeah, you could. Because you were relaxed. This is just like that.”

  Staring down at her, Zeke could plainly see she was still doubtful, but at least she was listening to him now. “What if we did it together?” he suggested quietly, stroking the pad of his thumb against the throbbing pulse in her neck. “Could you trust me enough to let me help you?” And God he hoped she could because he couldn’t deny, he wanted that first release she had to come from him and not some damn vibrating piece of metal. He wanted to watch satisfaction claim her as her body finally found some peace. And most of all, he wanted her to know the she could trust him with both her body and her heart.

  Honor gulped. “You’d have to see me naked,” she worried aloud.

  “Not necessarily, but I wouldn’t mind,” Zeke replied truthfully. “Honor, darlin, you’re a gorgeous woman.”

  “Not without my clothes,” she mumbled, bending her head to stare at her clenched fists. “Ugly,” she muttered. “I’m ugly.”

  Tensing, Zeke’s jaw clenched. “I don’t know why the hell you’re saying that, but there’s not a single ugly thing about you. Not when you’re naked. Not when you’re tryin’ to bring yourself to release. Not ever, Honor Grace. You do not ever have to be ashamed of your body.”

  Honor slowly lifted her mortified gaze to him. “You’ve never seen me without my clothes, Zeke. There are scars. So many scars. They’re raised and bumpy. Some are red and raw. It’s disgusting, Ezekiel.”

  “Bullshit. Every single one of those marks remind me of one thing, Honor. One,” he growled, holding up a finger between them. “You lived. You survived. When all the odds were stacked against you, you defied modern medicine and every one of those damned doctors predictions, and you lived. And all those scars will ever do is remind me of how lucky I am to still have you. Don’t you ever tell me you’re ugly because you’re the most beautiful thing in my world. You wanna be scared to share your body with me because of what happened to you? I get that. I can accept that. But worrying about some marks on your flesh? I love you, baby, but that’s insane.”

  Honor stared at him a long time, gauging his sincerity. “It doesn’t feel silly,” she finally grumbled.

  “You need to reassess your feelings then because I assure you, it’s one of the silliest concerns you ever had. Christ, baby, how long have you been agonizing of a worry as pointless as your scars?” he asked, shoving a frustrated hand through his dark hair. “I could have put these fears to rest ages ago, Honor, if I’d known about it.”

  “It’s hard to talk about,” she revealed in a low voice as her head twisted to look at him.

  “Yeah? Is feeling like shit alone better than talking it over together with me?” he returned calmly, reaching up to tenderly tuck her hair behind one ear. “Baby, you gotta start getting this. When you hurt, I hurt. When you suffer, I suffer right along with you. Don’t make either one of us feel that way needlessly, Kitten. Just talk to me. I know you have scars. You’ve got them on your body, and you’ve got them on your soul. I’ve sat by your hospital bed too many times to count and watched you while you did your damnedest to heal them both. Those wounds are not new information to me and they don’t change shit. I still love you, and I don’t allow those scars to do anything other than remind me to treasure every day I have with you. Okay?”

  Honor’s eyes were soft as they locked with Zeke’s. “You really do love me a lot, don’t you?” she asked in a small voice.

  “So much that I ache with it, Honor.”

  Watching his girl closely, Zeke saw her bite her lip uncertainly before she slowly leaned forward, bracing one hand against his chest and pressing her damp, trembling lips to his. “That’s my brave, strong girl,” Zeke praised hoarsely as he felt her blunt teeth gently nibble his lower lip.

  “I know I haven’t said it…it doesn’t seem fair to tell you before I know if I can give you myself in a way that will let us be truly together, but I do, too, Zeke,” Honor confessed, her voice soft and hushed as she leaned her forehead against his. “I wanna believe I can let go of all my doubts and fears and be with you, but I can’t help bein’ terrified.”

  “Kitten, my arms are the one place I guarantee you will always be safe,” Zeke pledged truthfully before tilting his head and capturing her pink lips with his. Kissing her slowly, but thoroughly, he felt her body slowly melt against him, her concerns seeming to dissolve at least for the moment. “Let me show you how good I can make you feel, baby,” Zeke urged between deep drinks from her lips, his hands sliding over the soft cotton covering her torso to cup one perfectly rounded breast while his thumb swept across the crested peak to worry her nipple.

  Gasping, Honor’s mouth pulled from his as she stared at him with surprised eyes as he eased her body back to lean against the arm of the couch.

  “You like that?” he asked, rolling her pebbled nipple under his thumb again and pulling another shocked puff of air from her lips. “Because it feels like you do.”

  Arching her back when he gently palmed the weight of her breast in his hand and squeezed gently, Honor nodded. “W-when you do that, it makes me tingle.” Licking her lips as Zeke smiled, she moaned when his thumb and index finger gently pinched her throbbing nipple. “Oh, God,” she breathed before sinking her top teeth into her lower lip.

  Loving the color that bloomed in her face because he knew this time it wasn’t embarrassment heating her cheeks, Zeke smiled. “Good. Tingles are good, baby. Can I unbutton these?” he asked as his fingers toyed with the top button of her nightshirt. “I wanna see you, Honor.” Seeing the alarm in her rapidly changing expression, he added. “I just wanna look for now. I won’t touch or taste until you give me permission, sweetheart.”

  He could see the internal war she was waging reflected in her clouded gaze. He knew she wanted to find out for herself if there was pleasure to be found in his embrace, but her reserved nature and prior experiences tainted her healthy curiosity. And now, she had to make a choice. He needed her to trust him. Trust him to respect her limits. Trust him to take care of her body. And trust him to never lose control like those animals who’d hurt her in the past. “Courage, Kitten. I know you have it. Use it with me here. Now.”

  Holding his breath, Zeke wanted to pump his fist in the air as Honor quickly jerked her head in a nod and reached up to fumble with the first button, unfastening it with an uncoordinated pull of her fingers that almost sent the button flying. “Let me.” He gently brushed her cold fingers aside and began to unbutton her nightshirt himself, smiling as he realized Honor’s was watching his fingers like a hawk, not quite fearful, but not eager either. “Honor, look at me,” he demanded quietly. Waiting until he had her eyes, he continued. “Nothing happens that you don’t enjoy. You don’t like it; you stop it. All you gotta do is say the word. Understand?”

  Bobbing her head again, Honor shifted in his lap.

  “I want the words, baby. Tell me you understand that I’ll stop if you say so.”

  “I…I understand,” she whispered nervously.

  “Good girl,” Zeke praised, his voice low and sure as he continued to unbutton her nightshirt until he reached the last one, conveniently positioned in the center of her chest. When the last button slipped from the loop, he looked into Honor’s crystal blue eyes. “I’m gonna part the material now, okay?”

  Honor inhaled quickly, squeezing her eyes shut. “Just do it,” she ordered anxiously.

  “Sweetheart,” Zeke murmured, stroking the pads of his index finger down the center of her chest, “I’m not marching you to the guillotine. We’re makin’ a little light love. This is supposed to make you feel good. Open your eyes and relax for me.”

  “You’re right. A girl wore her clothes to the guillotine,” she muttered with a panicky laugh. “Just tell me, do you have my shirt open yet?” she asked weakly, her eyes remaining tightly closed.

  “No.” Zeke grinned, watching her shiver as his finger traced its way back up her chest. Biting his own lip, he nearly
groaned as he noticed her nipples tightening behind the sheer cotton she wore. God, he couldn’t wait to taste those sweet little buds. Sliding one hand up her nightshirt to stroke the outside of her thigh, he whispered, “I already know you’re gorgeous, Honor. This is just gonna prove it.”

  Her eyelids twitched before slowly lifting to reveal her slightly anxious gaze.

  “There’s my Kitten,” Zeke sighed, leaning forward to press his parted lips to hers as he slowly opened the nightshirt, revealing her swollen breasts to the cool night air. Nipping her lip, he slowly lifted his mouth from hers and looked down her body. “Oh, God, you’re fuckin’ perfect. Everything I could ever want wrapped up in a tiny breathtaking package right here for me to admire. I could look at you every minute for the rest of my life and still feel like it wasn’t enough time,” he growled, gripping her thighs to keep from reaching up and palming handfuls of her generous tits. “Tell me I can kiss you, darlin’,” he begged as his hands slowly slid up her thigh and around her ass to tug her pliant body closer to him, his humid breath ghosting over her pebbled nipples. “Just give me one taste of heaven and I can die a happy man.”

  Shuddering against his body as she felt his warm breath hit her chilled skin, Honor bent her head and watched as Zeke’s lips moved closer to her breast. “Y-yes, Zeke. Kiss me.”

  Zeke’s heart nearly burst from his chest as he finally heard her consent. Tilting his head back to meet her eyes, his fingers convulsed against her ass, tightening and releasing the rounded flesh quickly. “You won’t ever be sorry for trusting me, Kitten,” he promised before slowly parting his lips to envelope the dusky petal pink tip of one aroused breast into the hot interior of his mouth.

  Honor

  Wet. Scorching. Pleasure.

  It bit deeply into her, burying its unforgiving teeth in her body and refusing to let her go. It was a feeling unmatched by anything she’d ever felt before. It made her wild…abandoned, and before she’d realized she’d done it, she buried her fingers in the thick strands of Zeke’s short hair and pulled his incredible mouth closer. “Zeke,” she moaned breathlessly as the tip of his tongue traced the perimeter of her nipple before sucking it between his lips. “Oh, God,” she mewled, her body surged upward, her body moving artlessly in his lap as a need deep inside her began to awaken.

  His lips wrecked any sense of self-preservation she had, and any hope she’d clung to of keeping herself distant and apart from being in this moment had long since been shattered by his talented lips and soft tongue. Panting her excitement as he slowly dragged his lips across her chest to capture her other breast, she whimpered as she felt a quickening within her, a heavy, pulsing ache settling itself low in her groin the longer Zeke’s mouth worshipped her breasts. “Please, Zeke,” she cried, her voice tight and desperate as her nails dug into his scalp and the throbbing between her legs grew stronger. Her mind wasn’t sure what exactly she was begging him for, but her body seemed to be striving toward some invisible goal that lingered just beyond her reach. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost the ability to control her responses, and each wanton sound that escaped her lips was needier than the last. With every passing moment, she could feel her core growing wetter…slicker… hotter. And dear Lord, the empty ache within her was enough to drive her insane.

  Whimpering when Zeke offered her nipple one last lethal flick of his tongue before biting the tip gently between his strong teeth, Honor felt lost as her body rioted, starved for the long overdue attention he provided it. “Oh, Zeke! Yes, Yes, yes!” she exclaimed as a wave of sensation so strong it stole her breath slammed into her body, the acute pleasure almost painful in its intensity as it flowed through her.

  “That’s it. Ride it out for me,” he murmured as he trailed gentle kisses over the swell of her breasts, his nose skimming her smooth rosy skin as her body jerked in his arms. Waiting until she’d caught her breath, his head rose and he gave her a wicked smile. “How do you feel, sweetheart?” Zeke questioned, his deep voice gentle and low as his thumb caressed her nipple, still shiny with the wetness from his tongue.

  Shaken to her core, Honor could only stare at him for a long minute. “I’m not sure. That was…I don’t know what that was,” she confided, her voice still hoarse from her cries of pleasure.

  “That, baby, was an orgasm,” Zeke explained patiently. “Did you like what happened to your body? Feeling my mouth pulling and sucking at these pretty breasts?”

  “Yes,” she breathed, nodding fervently as she watched his thumb make a circle around her tight swollen nipple, her back arching reflexively into his touch. “It felt like this big ball of tension just exploded inside me… it was… I can’t describe it, but it was amazing. The most extraordinary thing I ever felt.”

  Zeke’s loving gaze softened as he lowered his head to kiss her gently. “That’s the way it should be for you, Honor. Always. It’s a man’s job to satisfy his woman. If he doesn’t take the time to do it, he’s not much of a man at all.”

  “Well, then, you’re definitely all man because I’ve never felt so satisfied,” Honor admitted with an embarrassed smile.

  “I love how responsive you are for me,” Zeke admitted huskily, blowing softly against one breast before lapping his tongue against the rucked flesh. “I can already tell that you’re gonna be addictive. And this is one habit I’m never going to be able to break, Honor.” Licking her nipple again, he grinned when she squirmed against his lips. “Feel good?”

  “So good, Zeke,” she panted, moaning softly when his teeth gently bit one firm globe before soothing the burn with a swipe of his tongue. “It throbs and aches, but it feels amazing at the same time. I know it’s bad of me, but it’s as if my body craves something… something… more.”

  Zeke released her breast and lifted his head. “No, baby. It’s not bad. It’s right. When two people care about each other and love one another, this is the rightest, most naturel thing in the world to happen.”

  Hearing him, Honor couldn’t help but relax. Because it did feel natural. It seemed as effortless as breathing, actually. There was nothing forced or premeditated here. Nothing felt crude or wrong. It was uncomplicated and easy - just two people loving one another in a way both of them enjoyed. She’d been letting her past experiences cloud her present day decisions for way too long and she’d been missing out on something beautiful. She couldn’t deny she was still scared, but it was a fear of the unknown that gave her pause. Not a fear of this man or what he might do to her. Not a fear of her Ezekiel.

  “Honor, baby, do you want to try and go a little further tonight?”

  “F-further?” Staring into his eyes, she wondered how much further there was to go? She couldn’t imagine anything feeling better than what she’d just experienced.

  Zeke’s lips lifted in an amused half smile as he nodded. “Let me show you how much better it can get, Honor. Stand up for a second,” he ordered, gently helping her to stand in front of him.

  Bending her head, she watched as his tanned hands disappeared beneath the hem of her nightshirt to grip the elastic waist of her underwear. Oh, God, this was what he meant by going further, she thought wildly, almost reaching down to stop him. Seeing the hopeful look in his eyes as he waited for her acceptance or denial of him, however, she reminded herself not to act rashly.

  This was Zeke – the man who’d just shown her a kind of pleasure she’d never even dreamed was possible. In fact, up until a half hour ago, she’d have sworn on a stack of Bibles feeling that kind of incredible release was impossible for her.

  But it had happened.

  And he’d been responsible for it.

  And that kind of miracle had earned him her trust.

  Acting quickly before she could talk herself out of it, she nodded, giving him the permission he sought.

  “That’s my beautiful girl,” she heard Zeke praise as she gripped his shoulders, his hands steadily sliding her ridiculously innocent white panties to the floor. Her breathing grew heavier as she felt
his warm palms wrap around the back of her thighs, urging her closer to him. “Now what?” she whispered, barely able to believe she’d made it this far with him. Because despite how much she wanted this, she could feel her fears beginning to creep back into the moment.

  “Now, I want you to straddle my lap with these gorgeous legs of yours,” Zeke directed as he slid his hands up and down the back of her thighs. “I want you to be able to see everything I do to you so that there won’t be any surprises to alarm you. In this position, you’re on top of me, Honor,” he continued as she slowly climbed into his lap. “Which means, you are in total control. You can hop up and leave any time you want to, okay?”

  She couldn’t deny that his soft reassurances soothed her. And, she definitely liked the sound of being in control, Honor thought nervously as she settled her butt in his lap, her eyes widening as she felt the hard ridge of his arousal throbbing against her bottom and her gaze flew to his face. Before she could control it, memories of just how much damage a man could do with that organ flooded her mind, rapidly cooling her arousal and she froze in his embrace.

  As if he could read her mind, Zeke lifted a hand to cradle her cheek. “Hey, look at me. Look into my eyes and see that I’m telling you the truth. I’d cut off my own dick before I ever allowed it to hurt you. That’s just my body’s way of telling you how much it wants you, baby. But I’m in control of my actions. Not my penis.”

  Nodding wordless, Honor forced herself to smile. “Maybe now would be a good time for you to distract me.”

  Zeke offered her a wicked grin as his eyes gleamed. “I love a challenge, Kitten. C’mere and kiss me. I want that sweet mouth on mine again. Can you do that for me?”

  Giving him a shy smile, Honor nodded, leaning forward to peck his lips with hers.

  Chuckling, Zeke nipped her upper lip. “Now, you can do better than that, darlin’. Ice’s dogs gave me a more enthusiastic kiss than that this morning when I ran over to let them out while Ice was at work,” he teased lightly before sucking sensually at her full bottom lip. “Give me a taste of that sweetness.”