Out of the Ashes

by L. A. Casey

  It felt good, it felt really good, but the pressure building in my core didn’t feel as good as it previously had, and I knew it was because my mind and heart wasn’t in it. This sex was not about my pleasure; it was about letting Kol’s instincts completely overtake him so he could come back from the edge and think rationally.

  I cried out as an unexpected orgasm slammed into me, and I gripped Kol tightly when he tensed seconds later before his tipped his head back and roared. His hips jerked in violent motions as he came, and came hard. I pressed my forehead to his, making sure I kept myself as close to him as I possible could so all his senses were filled with me. My eyes were open, and I was staring at his closed ones with worry.

  It took a couple of moments, but when Kol blinked he eyes open, I whimpered when I found them to be back to their beautiful, glowing, violet self. I cried, buried my face in Kol’s neck, and held him as tightly as I could. We remained that way for a few minutes, holding each other and not speaking. I pulled back to look at him when his softening cock slid from my body.

  “I am so sorry,” I said, trembling. “So, so, so sorry.”

  “Nova,” he rasped. “Did I hurt you?”

  I shook my head. “No, sweetheart, you made love to me. You did not hurt me.”

  He looked terrified.

  “Ezah?” he choked. “Did I—”

  “He is well,” Mikoh’s voice shouted from outside. “Surkah is here with him. Welcome back, my friend.”

  I felt the tension flee from Kol’s body but not entirely.

  “You left me.”

  My breath caught in my throat.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “I did.”

  “You’re my mate,” he said, firmly. “You do not leave me, not ever.”

  “I won’t,” I swore. “Never again.”

  “Why?” he asked, his voice tight.

  I wept.

  “Ezah didn’t want you to suffer a mate loss. He feared, because I’m human, that I will die and leave you. He thought he was helping you, so he instilled doubt in my mind about you with your fake intention, but it all just got way out of hand, and before we both knew it, we were flying away from Ealra. We quickly realised what we were doing, and we talked and set each other straight. We were wrong, we know. I’m so sorry.”

  Kol stared at me as I spoke, and when he slowly lowered me to the ground without speaking, I feared he would go after Ezah again, so I wrapped my arms around his waist. He put his arms around my shoulder, and when I felt him kiss the crown of my head, I relaxed and let him go. I stood still while he tucked himself back into his pants, and then readjusted my clothes to cover me as best as he could with the rips he made.

  “I lied to you repeatedly, so I played a big part in making you run. I know that’s what you do when you’re scared.”

  Slowly, I nodded.

  “You explained what a fated mate was horribly to me, Kol. You made me think you only wanted me because of my body.”

  “I told you it was more than that!” he countered angrily. “You just didn’t listen.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”

  “We’re mated, Nova,” he said firmly. “For the rest of our lives, you are mine and I am yours.”

  “Yes,” I gushed. “I want that more than my next breath.”

  “I’m glad to hear that, but I am going to give you what you previously asked for.”

  I froze. “Which is what?”

  “Space,” he answered, and it sounded like it was difficult for him to say it. “You requested to have space from me, and I’m going to give it to you. What I did was wrong. I kept another thing from you when I promised I would not. I know I hurt you, I felt your pain, and if what you need is space to … clear your mind and return to me with no more anger and worry, then that is what I am going to give you.”

  My heart stopped.

  “I don’t want that,” I choked. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

  “I’m not leaving you,” Kol replied. “I never will, but right now, things are bad for us. You do not trust me to tell you truths, and I do not trust you not to run from me again.”

  My heart beat a mile a minute.

  “What will space do for us?” I questioned.

  “Time for thought,” Kol answered. “We need this. I know he played a bad role, but my rage and fear at finding you gone sent me to the edge, and I nearly killed my brother this night because it that, Nova. My brother.”

  I gnawed on my inner cheek.

  “You’re right,” I said. “You’re totally right.”

  “When you know you are ready to be together,” Kol said, his voice rough. “You come to me.”

  “I won’t see you at all until then?” I asked, already hating this set-up.

  “If you request to see me, then you will see me, but I hope you take the time you need to trust me once again. Now that I am thinking without fear of losing you, I know your trust will not return overnight like mine will not return overnight for you. For both of us, this will be a good thing.” He exhaled and shook his head. “I hope it will be because I’m going against every single instinct in my entire body, against everything I’ve even known, to make this possible.”

  I pressed my forehead against his chest. “Okay, I’ll … I’ll come to you when I’m ready.”

  Kol hugged me to his body. “I love you, shiva.”

  I swallowed down a whimper.

  “I love you, too.”

  I was surprised when Kol released me and walked away from me. He headed down the ramp of the shuttle and out of sight without so much as glancing back at me. He was serious. We were taking time away from one another and giving each other space. When I felt like I was ready to put this shitstorm behind us, I would go to Kol … The only thing that now plagued me was what if it took a while for that to happen?

  How long was too long for Kol to wait for me?

  Eight weeks later…

  For years, I roamed Earth by myself without nothing other than a handmade bow for company. I was content with my solitude, I accepted that it was vital for my safety, and thus, I accepted that I would never have any kind of relationship because of it. Then the Maji happened, and within the space of a week, my entire existence was turned upside down as I was whisked away to a new planet, a new life … a new beginning.

  During those seven days, I fell in love.

  I now know that people do the dumbest shit when they are in love. Like when you find out your husband was engaged to another woman, and rather than let him explain, you completely overreact and enlist his older brother to help you not only escape him, but the new planet he brought you to.

  I still can’t believe I did that shit.

  When I thought of how far I’d gone to get away from Kol, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. I had to train myself to not just up and run at the first sign of trouble, and it proved to be rather difficult. For a long time, my entire life was running. If I didn’t run, I died, so I’d made running my main priority, and Kol got that. He got that before he entered my life I was alone and had no one, so from time to time, he knew I needed that space and time to myself that I was used to having before I became his mate. It was why he suggested we take a break from one another.

  Not a break from our mating—that was impossible, we were mated for life—just a time out to put our ducks in a row, and time for me to mentally prepare myself for the change in my life that the first seven days of knowing Kol didn’t give me.

  So taking some time to myself was exactly what I had done, and what I had learned from it was that I really, really, really … fucking really missed Kol. I missed him all of two seconds after we decided to take a break. After the first week of not seeing him at all, I was constantly emotional, but it gave me time to grow, to think, to reflect. After week four, I requested to see him because I just need to lock my eyes on his, to simply touch him. I was more than a little relieved when I saw he needed to see and touch me just
as much as I needed to see and touch him. When week seven rolled around, I wondered why I asked for space from him, but when I thought about what he done and still felt some emotion over it, I knew I needed to stay strong.

  When I woke up that morning and realised it had been eight whole weeks since I came to Ealra and tried to leave Ealra, my heart decided that enough was enough. I didn’t need any more space. What I needed was my mate, and if either of us still had any hang-ups about what happened, we would talk it out and listen to one another and get through it together because we were stronger when united.

  We were made for each other. Literally.

  I planned on finding Kol and telling him in person rather than reaching out to him in my mind, but after multiple mornings of being sick and feeling tried and sore, I went in search of my sister-in-mate to find out if I had an illness that I should be worried about. I found Surkah in her wing of the palace, on her own, sewing. Sewing was kind of my thing now, too. I had done a lot of it over the past eight weeks, and it turned out that once I got the hang of it, I could make some pretty cute outfits. I wasn’t as skilled as Surkah, her mother, or even her aunt were, but I was getting there.

  “Nova.” Surkah smiled when I entered the living area. “I didn’t know you were coming by to see me.”

  “Yeah, sorry for just dropping in unannounced. I just wanted to ask you something before I find Kol.”

  My sister-in-mate widened her eyes. “You seek Kol?”

  I smiled. “Yeah, I think we’ve had more than enough space from one another, don’t you think?”

  Surkah abandoned her sewing, jumped up, and rushed to me and enveloped me into a heartfelt hug that made me boom with laughter.

  “I am so happy,” she gushed.

  “Me too,” I said. “I’m ready to put all the bad behind me and focus on my future with Kol. I love him.”

  Surkah beamed with delight. “Why come see me? What was so important that you had to ask?”

  “I have a problem.”

  “Do explain.”

  I huffed. “I don’t know where to start. I think I’m sick, but I’m not sure.”

  “Sick?” Surkah frowned.

  I nodded. “The past few days I’ve been getting sick in the mornings, and sometimes at night if I smell something bad. My breasts are tender, and I’m always hungry. I don’t know what to think other than I’m sick.”

  Surkah stared at me, and I mean really stared at me.

  “Do not play your human tricks, Nova,” she said, firmly.

  “Huh?”

  “What tricks?” I frowned. “You’re a healer. I’ve come to you for your help.”

  Surkah didn’t respond to me. Instead, she reached forward, gripped the hem of my loose fitted torso wrap, and pushed it up until the material was bunched under my breasts. When she gasped, I felt my cheeks burn with heat.

  “I was not used to eating before I came to Ealra,” I said in a rushed breath. “I eat every day now, and sometimes I eat a lot. I just gained a little weight. It’s not a big deal.”

  It really wasn’t a big deal; my stomach was the only place I had gained any weight, and it wasn’t like it was a huge amount or anything. My stomach just wasn’t flat anymore.

  “Thanas,” Surkah whispered. “It looks like an ikon stung you.”

  I had no idea what an ikon was, but I knew nothing had stung me.

  “Do your lissa thing and see if I’m sick.”

  Surkah placed both of her hands on my stomach, and her eyes misted with tears.

  “I don’t need to use my lissa to know why you’ve been poorly.”

  I raised a brow. “Then why am I feeling so shitty?”

  “Because,” she spoke softly, “you’re with offspring.”

  I stared at Surkah, and she stared right back at me.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “Can you repeat that?”

  She laughed. “You’re with offspring.”

  I shook my head again.

  “You’re wrong; I am sick.”

  “No,” she pressed, snickering now. “You’re with offspring.”

  “Surkah,” I deadpanned. “I’m going to smack you if you say that again.”

  She cackled. “Why? It’s true.”

  “It can’t be.”

  “Why not?” Surkah asked, staring down at my stomach like it was a beacon of hope. “This is a gift from Thanas.”

  “I had sex with Kol three times, Surkah. Three times,” I stated but even embarrassed with admitting that.

  “Three times is enough.” She shrugged. “It only takes one time.”

  For a moment, we were silent; then I felt overwhelmed, so I laid down on the sofa and stared up at the landscape painted ceiling.

  “Are you sure?” I questioned. “I mean, are you really sure?”

  Surkah kneeled next to me, pushed the material of my top back up to my breasts, and placed both of her hands on my stomach once more. She didn’t speak; she just closed her eyes and did her lissa thing. I learned over the past few weeks that Surkah’s healing ability could also scan the body to track illness, locate pain points, and track pregnancy.

  “Oh, Nova,” she suddenly cried. “You’re truly with offspring and not just the one.”

  I screeched. “What?”

  “There are two little ones,” Surkah sobbed.

  I sucked in a breath. “I’m pregnant with twins?”

  “Yes!” Surkah screamed and pulled me up into a hug.

  I didn’t hug her back; I didn’t think I even drew in a breath.

  “I’m pregnant,” I repeated when our hug ended. “Holy fuck, Surkah.”

  “Two offspring,” Surkah breathed. “Kol has sired two offspring.”

  I felt like I was going to be sick.

  “Surkah,” I whispered. “You can’t tell him yet.”

  She looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.

  “I must inform him,” she stressed. “He is my brother and the father to your young.”

  “I know”—I nodded—“but I want to be the one to tell him.”

  Surkah eyed me. “You will give me your word that you will tell him today?”

  “Yes,” I said. “I was going to find him and reconcile with him anyway. I would never keep this from him.”

  She smiled then she was silent for a moment.

  “You seem shocked at this result.”

  Was she serious?

  “Of course, I’m shocked.”

  “Why?” Surkah quizzed, a white brow raised. “You shared sex with Kol. What else did you expect to happen?”

  “I didn’t think I’d get pregnant.” I scowled. “He is Maji, and I am human.”

  “I informed you on your first day with us that Maji are one hundred percent compatible with humans—”

  “You really aren’t helping,” I cut Surkah off. “I know what you said, and I know sex leads to pregnancy, but we had sex only a twice before the mishap with Ezah, and once more when I brought him back from the edge … I just … I guess I didn’t think it would happen so fast.”

  Surkah’s chest puffed with pride as she said, “Maji have strong sperm; your womb never stood a chance.”

  I placed my face in my hand and sighed.

  “Yay for Maji,” I grumbled.

  “Nova,” Surkah said softly. “Please do not be sad. Do you know what this means for our species? Maji and humans, we’re endangered, but now that we know reproducing between us is a fact, we will save one another. This is … it’s wonderful.”

  I looked at Surkah, and when I saw her eyes welled up with tears, I gently smiled at her. “Do you think your lissa can tell the gender?”

  She perked up.

  “I can try. It tracks Maji pregnancy extremely well. I will try for you.”

  She did her lissa thing for a few more minutes before she opened her eyes and looked at me.

  “A male and a female,” she said, beaming with pride. “You carry both. We’re truly saved.”


  I began to cry, and when I realised it was with joy, I cried harder.

  “These young are already fully formed. Tiny, but formed,” Surkah said with awe. “At this point in Maji pregnancy, they’re only cells, but your offspring have all their limbs and organs. They’re just very small. I think it will be an eighteen-moon cycle pregnancy, not twenty-four.”

  Eighteen months.

  “Wait.” I paused. “Maji females are pregnant for two fucking years when they’re pregnant?”

  “Yes,” Surkah chirped. “It is why our species is taking a long time to repopulate. Long pregnancies, and many males being born.”

  I inhaled and exhaled. “Eighteen Earth months or eighteen Ealra months?”

  Surkah devilishly grinned. “Ealra.”

  “That’s about two Earth years then.” I groaned. “That’s seriously more than double a regular human pregnancy; it’s nearly triple.”

  Surkah shrugged. “It is almost half a Maji pregnancy, so it kind of meets in the middle.”

  I snorted but said nothing further.

  “I have dreamed of this for many moons,” Surkah said, “but to have you before me and pregnant by a Maji, by my brother is better than any dream.”

  “I’m shocked. I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m shocked.”

  “How did you not pick up on the pregnancy signs?” she questioned. “The sickness, the tenderness, the increase of appetite, the swell of your stomach?”

  I felt heat creep up my neck.

  “I was the only girl in my family, and no one ever talked about babies or pregnancy.”

  Surkah patted my hand. “I understand, you were not educated on the subject.”

  “No,” I acknowledged, “but you can bet your ass that I’m going to learn everything I can now.”

  “You speak so oddly sometimes that it makes my head feel fuzzy.”

  I laughed. “Welcome to my world.”

  Surkah was about to speak when the door to the living area open and in walked the Revered Father and Hailed Mother. They were laughing and snuggling one another as they walked, but when their eyes landed on me lying down on the sofa, and Surkah’s hands on my stomach, the room went silent. The Hailed Mother broke away first and rushed over to my side, kneeling next to Surkah.