The Secret Lives of Hoarders: True Stories of Tackling Extreme Clutter
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American Society of Appraisers (Find an Appraiser tool): www.appraisers.com
Antiques Roadshow (listing of appraisers by name or specialty): www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/appraisers/index.html
International Society of Appraisers (searchable membership database): www.isa-appraisers.org
Auction Guide: www.auctionguide.com
National Auctioneers Association: www.auctioneers.org
Home Shopping Networks
Most home shopping networks will accept recent returns on merchandise still in the packaging (obviously it must be clean). Call to ask about the options, and if the first customer service representative says no, then speak with a manager and explain the situation.
Scrap Metal
Scrap metal prices fluctuate according to the economy and time of year. Local scrap metal yards can quote prices for “separated” and “mixed” scrap. Unless the aluminum and copper are already separated, they will pay the lower “mixed” rate. Get a receipt and make sure the rate per ton matches the quote over the phone.
If delivering the metal isn’t an option, ask the local scrap yard if they can recommend a delivery service (expect to split the proceeds fifty-fifty with that service). For junked cars, most localities will insist that the registration and title are present before scrapping the car.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’ve always believed that opportunities can show themselves at any time. The first time I met my writing partner, Phaedra Hise, I learned that the magazine she worked for had just folded. I ended up paying for the coffee, but by that afternoon I had a literary agent and a rough draft for a book proposal. I must thank Phaedra for working side by side with me on this project and crafting my ramblings into purposeful stories with action and direction. Phaedra turned her life upside down to make this book happen, and I could never thank her enough. I also want to thank Jane Dystel at Dystel & Goderich Literary Management for putting her name behind mine and having the guts to discuss hoarding before it was cool. Most important, thanks to my publisher, John Duff, for having the vision to see that a trash guy with a blackjack problem could help millions of people understand hoarding. The Secret Lives of Hoarders would not exist if John had not put his money and his mouth behind this project. I greatly appreciate his guidance, support, and wisdom.
I first understood the idea of opportunities showing themselves at any time after my father died, which prompted me to get involved in a bereavement camp for children called Comfort Zone Camp in Richmond, Virginia. Volunteering at this camp helped me not only to learn how to deal with grief—and help others do so—but to understand myself better and to literally find myself. I now have a business, a wife, and a son because of my time there. During his lifetime, my father taught me to work passionately and keep a wicked sense of humor. A big thank-you to Ed Paxton, who is missed every day.
Thanks especially to A&E Television Networks and specifically Andy Berg for giving me the opportunity to be on television and to help hoarders. Thanks to the entire staff at Screaming Flea Productions Inc. and the crew for encouraging me to be myself and for making Hoarders an incredible show. A special thanks to the amazing Dr. Suzanne Chabaud for adding to this book and for being an awesome travel companion. Thanks also to the Caplan family and to the Harrington family (especially Sean for letting me stay in his house while I figured out my entire life). And thank you to my Australian friends, Marcus and Thomas: I only understand half of what they say, but even half is enough to make a difference in my life.
I truly appreciate the support of my friends and family on this journey. I owe my uncle John for driving across the country on my first business adventure and teaching me the joy of figuring it out along the way. The women in my life pushed me to be the man I am today, and I love them all: Nanny, Be-Be, Jane, and Spiker. Be-Be taught me much more than she will ever know, and I appreciate the wonderfully eccentric lady that she is. My mom always believed in me even though she just wanted me to get a real job. I know that she is proud and that’s all I ever wanted. This book was born around the same time as my son, and I want to thank my wife, Sarah, for encouraging me to continue to work on the book and the show when I just wanted to stay home with her and Cooper. I love you both so much.
Finally, Colin, Woody, James, Cabell, and Page at Clutter Cleaner are all truly my brothers. From our very first house to whatever adventures lie ahead of us, I am proud of the men they have become. A special thanks to our clients, who have taught me so much by sharing their deepest thoughts and secrets with the crew and me. Their stories and lessons will live on in this book and help other families understand, heal, and grow.
INDEX
Page numbers in italics indicate photographs; those in bold indicate charts.
abuse and hoarding
acceptance of cleanup, importance of
accepting responsibility
accomplishing the cleanup
ADD/ADHD (attention deficit/ hyperactivity disorder) and hoarding
addiction and hoarding
Adult Protective Services (APS)
advocate for the hoarder
Aimee’s case
ambush approach
American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry
American society and hoarding
animal control
animal hoarders
anxiety disorders and hoarding
anxiety (expressing) by hoarder
appraisers
APS (Adult Protective Services)
Asperger’s syndrome
assessing the cleanup
asthma
attachment to possessions
attention deficit (hyperactivity) disorder (ADD/ADHD) and hoarding
auctioneers
authorities and planning the cleanup
avoiding reality
backsliding
“beating the system,”
beginning cleanup. See where to begin
beginnings of hoarding
Behavior Research and Therapy
Ben’s (“pizza man”) case
Blondie (rock group)
books on hoarders
born-again mentality
boundaries
setting for staying clean
struggling with
Brad’s and Ellen’s case
building inspectors
cleanup
planning the cleanup
team, recruiting the
bulimic hoarders
burden of cleanup, sharing the
Candace’s case
cases of hoarding
Aimee
Ben (“pizza man”)
Brad and Ellen
Candace
Daisy
Don
Jackson (and Mike)
Janelle
Jim
Katrina
Kurt
Li
Lucy
Marcie
Margaret
Mario
Michelle
Nika (and Andre)
Pat
Rick
Roger (and Kathy)
Rose
Roxanne
Thalia
Timothy
Wendy and Sam
Will
celebration after cleanup
Chabaud, Suzanne
Cher’s doorknobs
Child and Adult Protective Services
children of hoarders
children who hoard
“chore” charts
church as support network
city, county, state officials
cleaners (professional) and junk removers
cleanup
building inspectors
celebration after cleanup
cost issues of
dates and
disposing of hoarder’s stuff
document shredding
“donation” piles
dumps/dumpsters
emotional roller coaster of hoarding and
expe
ctations for
fire list
goals for
hazardous waste
homework for hoarder
“keep” piles
logistics of cleanup
“maybe” piles
morning meetings
portable storage
positive reinforcement for hoarders
process of cleanup
resources for
role of hoarders in
scheduling
scrap metal
“sell” piles
setbacks
supplies
“trash” piles
trust, importance of
“we” goals
when not to
See also cases of hoarding; hoarders; planning the cleanup; reactions from hoarders; Stages 1 through 5 (Clutter Cleaner Scale); staying clean; team, recruiting the
clergy
clothes hoarders
Clutter Cleaner
Clutter Cleaner Scale
“cockpit” (small livable space)
collaboration: case with a somewhat happy ending
collectors
colors (team)
Comfort Zone Camp in Richmond, Virginia
community support services
co-morbid disorders
compliments (perceived) of DIYs
“compulsive disorders,”
Compulsive Hoarding Center in Sacramento, California
control
importance to hoarders
pushing for control by hoarder
conversation, starting the
cost issues of cleanup
coworkers
craft hoarders
credit cards
Daisy’s case
dates, cleanup
deadlines for cleanup
de-cluttering
defensiveness of hoarders
dementia and hoarding
denial
depression and hoarding
desire to change, importance of
disposing of hoarder’s stuff
DIY (do-it-yourself) hoarders
document shredding
do-it-yourself (DIY) hoarders
“donation” piles
Don’s case
dumps/dumpsters
Dumpster diving
early- to mid-stage hoarders
See also Stages 1 through 3 (Clutter Cleaner Scale)
easy love
eBay
effective teams
elderly housebound people
Ellen’s and Brad’s case
emotional triggers
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)
“everything has a home” rule
executive function of brain and ADHD
expectations of cleanup
fake future
“false triggers,”
family members
staying clean
team, recruiting the
family pattern of hoarding
“fat” clothes
fear and hoarding
“fighting the system,”
finances, management of
financial mess from hoarders
fire list
follow-up rules, staying clean
food hoarders
freaking out by hoarders
friends
staying clean
team, recruiting the
future, fixated on
future focus for cleanup
future plans of DIYs
gambling
genetic theory
goals of cleanup
Goodwill
“great walls” of clutter
grief of hoarders
guns
habits of hoarders
Hale, Lisa
hazardous waste
health goals of cleanup
Hearst, William Randolph
“hoarder hangover,”
hoarders
American society and
beginnings of
books on
bulimic hoarders
Clutter Cleaner Scale
“cockpit” (small livable space)
de-cluttering
early- to mid-stage hoarders
emotional roller coaster of hoarding
“great walls” of clutter
hoarders-in-training
hope for
individual’s physical and mental health vs. stuff
late-stage hoarders
layers of trash
messiness vs. hoarding
numbers of
outside hoarding
“recovery,”
resources for
self-image of
“spaghetti,”
stereotypical hoarders
stuff vs. individual’s physical and mental health
support groups
treatment centers
unhappiness of
where hoarders hoard
who are the hoarders?
yard hoarders
See also cases of hoarding; cleanup; planning the cleanup; positive reinforcement; reactions from hoarders; Stages 1 through 5 (Clutter Cleaner Scale); staying clean; success, elements of; team, recruiting the; what hoarders hoard; where to begin; why people hoard
home shopping networks
homework for hoarder
hope for hoarders
hunt-and-gather rush
ignoring the rules
individual’s physical and mental health vs. stuff
information hoarders
in = out
Institute for Challenging
Disorganization
interventions
introducing team to hoarder
involved, getting
Jackson’s (and Mike’s) case
Janelle’s case
Jim’s case
Johns Hopkins University
junk removers and professional cleaners
Kansas City Center for Anxiety Treatment
Katrina’s case
“keep” piles
Kurt’s case
Lakeside Center for Behavioral Change in Fargo, North Dakota
lashing out by hoarders
late-stage hoarders
See also Stages 4 through 5 (Clutter Cleaner Scale)
layers of trash
legacy cleanup
legacy of hoarding
limits. See boundaries
Li’s case
living goals of cleanup
living with a hoarder
logistics of cleanup
Lucy’s case
Marcie’s case
Margaret’s case
Mario’s case
“maybe” piles
mechanics
medications for hoarders
memory keepers
mental disorders and hoarding
messiness vs. hoarding
Michelle’s case
Moore, Elizabeth
morning meetings, cleanup
neighbors
planning the cleanup
team, recruiting the
network for staying clean
Nika’s (and Andre’s) case
“no quitting” rule
notes for positive reinforcement
numbers of hoarders
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and hoarding
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders Clinic at University of California
OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and hoarding
“old habits die hard,”
online information
organizers, professional
“outside” friends
outside hoarding
overfocusing and ADHD
panic disorder
past, fixated on
patience, importance in cleanup
Pat’s case
people affected by hoarding
personality and hoarding
personal space
pest control<
br />
phobias
planning the cleanup
acceptance, importance of
accomplishing the cleanup
assessing the cleanup
authorities
building inspectors
burden, sharing the
children of hoarders and
control, importance to hoarders
conversation, starting the
deadlines
elderly housebound people and
expectations and
future focus for
goals and
health goals
living goals
living with a hoarder and
neighbors of hoarders and
patience, importance of
people affected by hoarding and
professional cleaners and junk removers
questions to answer before cleanup
readiness of hoarder for
rewards, sharing the
role of hoarders in
sharing burden and rewards
social workers
spouses of hoarders and
starting the conversation
talking to hoarders
timelines
wellness goals
written plan for
See also cases of hoarding; cleanup; hoarders; team, recruiting the
players. See team, recruiting the
police
pornography
portable storage
positive reinforcement cleanup and
staying clean and
post-traumatic stress disorder
process of cleanup
professional cleaners and junk removers
professional organizers
psychiatric issues
pushing for control by hoarders
questions to answer before cleanup
quitting, stopping
“rattlesnake” hoarders
reactions from hoarders
anxiety (expressing)
control (pushing for)
defensiveness
denial
freaking out
grief
lashing out
pushing for control
“rattlesnake” hoarders
retreating into denial
stonewalling
See also cleanup
readiness of hoarder for cleanup
reality, avoiding
recognizing self-worth
“recovery,”
recruiting the team. See team, recruiting the
refrigerators
Reinardy, Renae
relationships (strained)