Daze of Reality

by Molly Barrett

  “So you like, helped Devin disappear or something?”

  “Oh no, that wasn’t me. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, like I said I never liked the guy, but I wasn’t the one who blew his head off.”

  “Aw, shit, that’s messed up. He seemed like a good guy to me, and that doesn’t say much for your security either, Derek.”

  “Well John, first of all Devin wasn’t no damn saint. He was ah, too trusting as well, you know naïve and shit. Everybody gets company security so to speak. I don’t trust the fucking company. I like to travel with some of my own people, hired hands, if you know what I mean.”

  “So do I get a damn merc allowance?”

  “Hah, sorry John no can do, but tell you what; I’ll loan you one of mine. You just can’t take any of my ladies; they like to pull double duty if you know what I mean. I’ll share my whores, just not my ladies.”

  “How gallant of you.”

  “I always try to be the gentleman.”

  “Whatever. So what’s with the political lead?” John questioned as he sunk his ball into the side pocket.

  “Well, Devin didn’t get a chance to collect a lot of tape on the good Congressman Fowler, but Fowler had seemed a little nervous on what we do have. He is probably using secure lines for most of his conversations; he did however commit a slip of the tongue by releasing a few broken code words over the open mic. of his cell phone. We know he was planning to meet with one of your federal friends.”

  “Which one would that be, I have so many it seems?” John questioned while rolling his eyes.

  “An agent Grayson I believe. He doesn’t like to stick his head out very often; I have to admit I was intrigued that he paid you a visit.”

  “Grayson? What’s his fucking status?” John asked as he felt his body tense even further. It had seemed to him that Grayson was far too quiet, as if wanting to fade to the background during John’s run in with him several weeks ago back at the station. Derek’s characterization had eerily described Grayson’s behavioral role.

  “Well, he’s…” For the first time Derek seemed to have lost his words, and John noticed Derek’s attention was no longer in the present tense. “He’s hard to read, that one.”

  “You saying he’s over Stroud?”

  “Not over necessarily, he’s just playing on a larger field. Sure, the FDC has got a few damn bushes in the forest, but they don’t own the damn thing.”

  “Who does then?”

  “A conglomerate of assholes who all want their own share of the pie. Through infiltration, it seems the FDC has become a grand way of collecting more slices. Not every FDC agent is rogue John, just as every rogue isn’t necessarily a true FDC agent to begin with. Smoke and mirrors, as they say. It’s a chess game where there’s a hell of a lot more pawns on the board than kings.”

  “So do I get a playbook?” John asked as he tried to compute the new reality that was being described to him.

  “I might share a few damn pages,” Derek replied as he watched John finally miss a shot.

  John shook his head in annoyance. “So what page is Fowler on?”

  “That’s a good fucking question John, one I plan on finding out.”

  “I don’t guess you know when he’s supposedly meeting with Grayson? Surely he wouldn't of let that shit slip.”

  “Naw, but I got people watching him, nothing yet, he’s been following his same damn routines since we got eyes on him. He’s not going to risk anything obvious. We looked into the guy, and he’s not the head of any damn committees or anything; he’s had his position about six years now. Your average run of the mill politician. He might be playing the FDC, trying to make a buck off their power grabs, but I doubt he’s got the balls, more likely that their bribing him somehow, maybe blackmail of some kind, not sure. Whatever it is, he’s one of our best leads.”

  “If he had something on the FDC seems like they would have given him the same courtesy they gave Devin, what could he have hanging over their heads? Maybe he’s got backup, and he isn’t the only politician making deals with the FDC devils here.” John’s mind was now running in even more directions. He was ready to put the pool stick down and push for more serious answers, though it seemed the game was possibly calming down the tension between him and Derek; so he should probably just make sure the game kept going. He watched as Derek lined up his next shot and nailed the right corner pocket.

  “I can assure you John that Fowler is not the only crooked politician among us.”

  “No shit.”

  “Heh, as far as another working with Fowler in this case, it’s possible, there’s no indication as of yet however. I’ll worry about Fowler’s angle for now; I’m afraid you have more immediate problems to worry about.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?”

  Derek leaned over the table and nailed his last ball, then studied the eight ball prize. “Well, now that your wife and son are in safe hands, I need you to really push those cases of yours, piss some people off. What better way to do that than to go back to the District 4 crime scenes, poke around a little bit, compare notes. Someone will take notice I’m sure, when they do, call their bluff. Ask them why they tried to kill your son, tell them you know they need you, and you want something out of it.”

  “Ah the subtle head on collision, and why should I trust your tactics?”

  “You don’t have to trust me John; you just have to follow my orders.”

  “Bullshit, and if I don’t?”

  “Well, there’s poor son of a bitches that disappear all the time, John. I got contacts all over this shitty-ass world we live in, trust me, your hole would be so dark you wouldn’t even know what hemisphere you were in.”

  John threw his stick down across the table. “That’s it; I’m tired of your fucking games, Derek. We both know I could kick your ass if you didn’t have all your little toy soldiers by your side; I’ve felt your weakness you piece of shit.”

  A slight grin cut across Derek’s face. “Don’t fuck with me, John; remember I’m the good guys.” Derek walked over to one of the side tables and picked up a long envelope, tossing it at John. “You want leverage, here’s your damn leverage. Make them play your game, it’s the only way you have a fucking fighting chance. Your taxi awaits, I’ll be in touch.”

  With that John felt himself surrounded by footsteps. A hood was then placed over his head, and he was escorted via the scenic route back to his vehicle.

  John came home to an empty house, and his anger grew as his thoughts roamed in their distorted fields of indecision. He tried to logically explore his options; maybe a drink would free his mind. As he found himself in the dimly lit kitchen pouring a taste of sanity, Christopher’s empty chair drew his attention. His heart dropped at the thought that that could have been a permanent reality. Shaking his head however, he replaced that flashing contemplation with a sudden observation and a slight grin.

  “Hell, were going to need a bigger table; we just can’t fit two highchairs around that old thing.” John moved in tune with his thoughts as he found himself reaching down to run his hand over the table’s aged wooden patterns. He had bought this table for Caroline not long after they had gotten married; she had fallen in love with it at one of those damn flea markets that she liked to drag him off to on weekend trips. Maybe he could find room for it downstairs in the basement; she probably wouldn’t part with it.

  He slowly slid into Chris’ seat, staring across to a missing Caroline. At least, he knew that they were in good hands at the safe house; Dave was making sure of that. Shit, Dave. Kellar said she told Dave that John had suspected someone was after him due to a case he had worked, and she had let Dave know that the danger Caroline and Christopher were in could have come from that. That was pretty much what John instructed her to say, and she had made it clear to John that she did not like having to lie about what was really going on. John knew it was the right thing for her to do though; it was too dangerous to take a chance on Dave pursuing the feds. The drawback how
ever was that Dave had seemed to form a distant anger towards John now for not coming to him for help. That was just one more layer of frustration that John had to deal with, Dave’s inner anger and disappointment in him, again.

  John turned his thoughts back to the source of his problems, the feds, Derek, and the portrayal of reality Derek was trying to sell to him. He didn’t trust Derek, but the fact that Devin had led him to Derek left John trusting the feds far less than that asshole. As he began to get a bit more traction on his thoughts, John realized that there was probably only a couple of ways to play this out. Either he could pretend to cower down to the damn feds, or he could follow Derek’s advice and piss them off even more. Yeah well, it just might come down to what was in that damn envelope Derek had so graciously tossed his way tonight.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  John stared down at the pictures he had pulled from Derek’s envelope, and they weren’t encouraging. The two black and white photographs were disturbing to say the least. The two men he instantly recognized, but the fact that they were meeting together was a bit of a surprise. The images showed an agent Stroud meeting with none other than Detective Lance Brooks from District 4. They were swapping briefcases behind some kind of old apartment buildings, not a location familiar to John. He wondered who the hell took these pictures and when and where they were taken. He had thought it was odd how Stroud had said Brooks considered John a problem, but he thought if anything Stroud made that shit up, or somehow forced Brooks to say it. From the looks of the photos, it seemed more like they were business partners. There was no fear in Brooks’ eyes; Brooks must be working with Stroud.

  Shit, if that was true then these people Derek claimed were roaming the forest of reality had infiltrated not only the FDC, but now local police departments as well. This situation just kept getting better and better all the time. He needed to be very careful about who he trusted, hell there could be a plant somewhere in his own department for all he knew. Well, this knowledge and evidence could be an ace up his sleeve, but how John would actually make full use of it; he wasn’t so sure about that yet. His eyes moved from the faces to the briefcases. Was it money, information, some form of case evidence, maybe some combination of those? Damn, what else did Derek know about this, and why didn’t he talk to John about it straight up? One thing seemed apparent; John taking a field trip to District 4 would certainly draw interesting attention. He would like to get some more information out of Derek before moving forward so brashly like that, however. Until then, John would have to find a way to occupy his time; it’s a good thing that he would be heading back to work tomorrow.

  As John once again entered through the doors of his department, he had many faces welcoming him back. It felt good to have so many people concerned about him and how his family was doing; somehow, however, something felt eerily different, a bit off. John wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he thought it might have something to do with his increased paranoia. After finding out about Detective Brooks’ questionable behavior, John caught himself wondering just how much he did know about the people who worked here alongside him throughout his day. Sure, he knew that he could trust the people closer to him like Craig, but there were a lot of people that worked with and around him that honestly he didn’t know that much about. After working here at the station for almost ten years, he had seen people come and go. He didn’t take the time to get chummy with every new officer or transfer that came in. In fact, he preferred to limit the amount of people that he would actually put a decent amount of trust in; that was just a built-in defense mechanism for John. Sometimes, it seemed like more people at the department knew him than the other way around, and today even that hot desk sergeant, Debbie seemed a little more foreign to him.

  “Hey man, welcome back,” Craig called out, as Debbie finished her good morning wave to John. Lowering his voice, Craig whispered in John’s direction, “I tell you, Lindsey said all the ladies around here have just been worried sick about your ass. Too bad you’re a married man, bet you could have had the pick of the damn litter around here.”

  John just rolled his eyes at Craig as they made their way down the hallway. “Whatever, hey I got to go check in with Ryst before I can get my morning going. I’ll catch up with you later, alright.”

  “Yeah, sure man. Hey John…you ah, you doing alright?” Craig quietly questioned his friend. “I’ve ah, I’ve been worried about you too.”

  “I’ll be better when they can come home.”

  “Yeah, look anything you need John, anything, just let me know, okay.”

  “Thanks, Craig.”

  John turned down the long hallway leading to Ryst’s office. He was not looking forward to having to jump through Ryst’s hoops just to get his day started; hopefully he wouldn’t be stuck in there all morning. John approached the door and knocked. It quickly opened, and soon he regretted even getting out of bed this morning.

  “Lieutenant Goldman, please come in,” Ryst beckoned as he opened the door. “Have a seat won’t you.”

  “Thank you, I’m anxious to get back to work. I hope this won’t take very long.”

  “Well, I think that you know Dr. Saunders here.”

  John’s eyes skipped annoyingly into Dr. Cheryl Saunders direction, and he nodded.

  “You know John, I know you’ve been through a lot lately, but that seems to be the point here. Dr. Saunders tells an interesting story, something about you refusing to speak with her at any point during or shortly after your hospital stay. She has documented that she made several attempts to set her time aside to try and help you.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m fine Captain, and I don’t need a damn shrink to tell me that.”

  “So you are admitting your refusal to follow company policy then; is that what I’m hearing?”

  “No, I’m not refusing…”

  “I know you are well aware that it is company policy for you to be cleared by the good Doctor here before you can return to your work obligations, Lieutenant Goldman. Are we going to have a continuation of this, problem?”

  John glanced over to Dr. Saunders who seemed to now have an authoritative, condescending smirk on her face. John hated shrinks; they always wanted to try to “fix” him. He must have seen a hundred in his lifetime by now, and he didn’t feel like a damn one of them ever helped him with anything. He’d seen this bitch before, and she seemed to get off on exploring his life’s miseries. He was pretty good at manipulating her, but it was always a pain in the ass. This was not something he wanted to fuck with right now, but he guessed that he wasn’t going to get out of it now. He rolled his eyes in protest. “So what would be a good time today?”

  Three hours later, John finally walked into his office. He had had enough psychobabble to last him for the year. Dealing with that woman was worse than being cross-examined by some damn crooked yuppie’s defense team. At least it was over with, although he couldn’t be officially cleared for active field duty for twenty-four hours. John sat down at his computer to begin catching up on the many cases that were worked while he had been recovering, everything from gangland murders to domestic disputes gone wrong. There weren’t any new homicides matching the Willis or Price murders though, and supposedly no new leads or additional information of any kind on the Willis or Price murders. In fact, it seemed that while he was away, the Willis and Price cases had been put on the back burner so to speak. Someone had been working to bury them. Maybe Ryst was in on this, or maybe Ryst was just followed orders from above. It seemed like Derek would have mentioned if he had knowledge of John’s own captain being in on all this shit. Either way, it was going to be harder now for John to pursue the cases since they had been set aside as seemingly separate entities and new, regular cases were piling up.

  As John was beginning to catch up on a few things, his office phone began ringing.

  “Yeah, Goldman.”

  “Yes John, I need you down in the conference room please. We are having an important meeting here shortly, and I
need you in attendance,” Ryst spoke matter-a-factly.

  “What about?” John inquired.

  “Five minutes, John.”

  “Damn,” John mumbled under his breath as he headed out to the conference room. He hated unannounced meetings.

  When John reached the conference room he noticed that both Lieutenant Dyson from Vice and Lieutenant Akers from the White Collar Crime Division were present along with Captain Ryst. John took a seat at the long conference table on the same side as Akers and Dyson, while Ryst set at one end.

  “Our guests should be here shortly gentlemen,” Ryst announced.

  John started to wonder if Dyson and Akers were aware of whom these guests were. They weren’t speaking up if they did, and they seemed to be sitting quietly in a professional manner, not always characteristic of those two. As the door opened, John tried hard to keep his annoyance at a professional level. And as the guests walked in and took their seats across the table, he found himself staring into the same face that he had the night before in one black and white photograph. Agent Stroud still had Dodd in tow along with a long, slender, blue-eyed female counterpart, who seemed almost more distracting than Stroud himself.

  “Gentlemen,” Ryst spoke, “we are honored to have some of our federal friends here today to help introduce a new interagency plan involving all of us directly. We have always been indebted to the FDC for all of their tremendous assistance to our department. I know that things have really gotten rough out there, and I am sure that all of us are beginning to feel overwhelmed with the loads of casework we are seeing come in. Well, I am pleased to announce that the FDC has agreed to start a joint task force initiative with each of your divisions here at our department. The agents will be setting up in offices here in each of your divisions and assisting with the workloads each of you have. Once we have these task forces up and running smoothly; we can possibly look to add FDC assistance here in other divisions as well. Homicide, Vice, and our White Collar Crime Divisions are where we have seen the majority of our difficult cases here in the recent past. That is why we are starting this new relationship within your divisions. While you, Lieutenant Dyson, Akers, and Goldman have of course been working hard, having this extra help I’m sure will prove invaluable. We have as our guests today three of the agents that will be working here with us, though each of you will have two agents at your disposal. I would like to now introduce today’s guests, Agent Stroud, Agent Brown, and Agent Dodd.”