Body of Ash

by Bonnie Wheeler

  After twenty minutes huddled under Mike’s arm, Katie needed a break. Breathing in his obnoxious cologne and beer tainted breath wasn’t a good time. Just as she was slinking up the stairs in search of peace and quiet, she heard Davey’s voice from down the hall. Despite her pledge to act cool like nothing happened between them, she wasn’t ready to face him.

  Everyone loved her costume. If the number of boys who felt they had the right to put their hands all over her ass was any consolation, Katie must have looked hot. The overall look wasn’t what she initially had in mind, but it worked. Marge was the one who thought it up, her idea came about rather odd.

  After her crying jag in the hall, Katie’s mom blew her nose and shuffled into the kitchen. Taking her seat at the table, she ate the soup Katie made her in silence. When her bowl was empty, Marge got up and went to her room. At that point, Katie assumed the night was a bust and curled up on the couch to watch Fright Night, but shortly after, her mother emerged from the room all dressed up and ready to go. Marge wasn’t in costume, but she was wearing fresh clothes and makeup. Even her hair had been brushed until it shined.

  Tossing the leather pants Katie had been looking at earlier onto the couch, her mother spoke animatedly. “I wasn’t sure what shirt you had in mind, but my sequence halter top will look killer with those pants. If you can stand them, the strappy sandals with the three inch heels match.”

  “I don’t think I’m up for a night out,” Katie replied, unsure why the sudden change in mood. “I haven’t even heard if Darla’s been freed from being grounded.”

  “Well, call her. Tomorrow is a fresh beginning for us. Everything will change and we will start our new life together. No one can get in our way.” Her mother fished through her purse and pulled out her keys. Bending over Katie on the couch, Marge planted a big kiss on her forehead. “Don’t wait up for me.” Heading out the door, Marge stopped and smiled, “Wear that outfit and that boy from last night will drool.” With that, she was gone.

  What did she mean by that anyway? That starting tomorrow we will begin our new life?

  If it meant Marge was going to quit drinking and stop acting insane, Katie was all for it, but, somehow, she doubted it would be that easy. Still, riding on her mother’s enthusiasm, Katie made a quick call to Darla and arranged to meet her friend out front in an hour. After donning the halter top and heels, she matched them with leather pants. Coupled with her shocking red hair, Katie hardly recognized herself. Adding smoky eye shadow and mascara, and a coat of bright red lipstick completed her look. Never before had she looked so grown up.

  With twenty minutes to spare before Darla would pick her up for Davey’s party – Katie decided to quickly wash up the dishes so her mother wouldn’t be forced to do them when she came home. The bowls and spoons from the soup were easy, leaving the dishwater in the sink still hot and soapy. Taking a quick look around, Katie figured she could wash whatever cups and plates that had been left around. Her mother’s lunch tote was still on the couch where Marge had left it after returning home from work. Lifting it, Katie noticed the weight was much heavier than normal. Expecting to find a mug or a forgotten Tupperware container full of food, the last thing she imagined discovering was a gun.

  Why the hell did she bring a pistol home in her lunch pail?

  Staring out across the back lawn of Davey’s nice sized house, Katie still couldn’t figure out why her mother had a weapon. Knowing how angry and irrational Marge was earlier in the evening made it that much scarier.

  Would she have used it on me?

  Although she didn’t think her mother was that unbalanced, the idea of a firearm in the house was freaky. Katie couldn’t decide what to do with it, but knew one thing, her mother didn’t need a lethal weapon as part of her new drama free life. If things didn’t go well with Brian, Katie didn’t want her mother alone and depressed with a gun.

  After wondering where in the house she could hide it, the only thing Katie could think to do was bring the pistol with her. Unsure if it was even loaded, she tucked it into her waist band and hoped like hell the little lever near the trigger meant the safety was on. Between the black pants and the outrageous top, the gun made the perfect accessory for a Halloween night. Katie just hoped she could think of a good place to ditch it before returning home.

  Lighting a cigarette, Katie inhaled the nicotine. Not sure when the act became a habit, she vowed to quit as soon as the pack was empty. If she moved in with her father, she would make a clean break from all of the crap she had taken a liking to. Cigarettes, pot, drinking – she didn’t need any of it, and wasn’t even sure why she did most of it anyway. Especially the drinking, she never developed a taste for alcohol. When she got tipsy, she usually ended up depressed and pissed off. The result was unnerving. She resembled her mother.

  Where did she find the gun? Why did she think it was okay to bring it home?

  As much as she wanted to push it from her mind, she couldn’t. It just added to her mother’s bizarre behavior. How was she supposed to address the subject? There wasn’t a comfortable way to ask your mother if she needed mental help. Or if the weapon you found in her thermal lunch tote was stolen or merely borrowed.

  When Darla picked her up, Katie was going to mention it. Hoping her longtime friend could offer some insight or at least a suggestion as to where Katie could hide the gun, she was disappointed when Darla opened the passenger side door and Marco was already in the car. Katie didn’t know Darla’s new boyfriend that well and even though Marco seemed nice, they weren’t acquainted enough for a subject that fucked up. Although she asked Darla to give her a minute alone once they got to Davey’s, her friend quickly disappeared when Marco’s buddies scored some Ecstasy.

  Better her than me. I wouldn’t use that shit.

  “You aren’t going to light my house on fire, are you?” Davey said, climbing out the window to join her. Dressed as the joker, his face was painted white except for the ink black circles that outlined his blue eyes. His perfect mouth was smeared red. A dark hoodie and camouflage pants made up the rest of his look.

  Unsure if his tone was serious, Katie mashed her cigarette against the shingles, distinguishing the butt. “I was just thinking of quitting,” she replied solemnly. ”What do you want?”

  “I heard you were around here somewhere. I wanted to see you.”

  “Why? So I can treat you like shit again?” She smiled, but knew it was mean.

  Sitting down beside her, Davey stared out in silence. After a long pause, she didn’t think he was going to say anything, until he whispered, “You don’t treat me like shit.”

  “I’m not very nice to you. You deserve better,” she said.

  “You aren’t so bad.” Reaching out, he wrapped his hand around hers, interlacing their fingers. “But, you’re hands are freezing.”

  Katie’s cheeks flushed. Why did Davey Shaw have such an effect on her? Keeping boys at a distance was usually easy, but there was something about the boy that got her pulse racing. Even while making out with him last night, thoughts kept drifting into her head of what it would be like for the two of them to pair up and become a couple the way Darla and Marco were, or better, like Rachel and Jason Thompson.

  Belonging to one guy wasn’t something that usually interested her, but Davey was beginning to wear her down. As much as Katie insisted she wasn’t good enough for him or that she was better off alone, the boy left her feeling something that was more than just physical.

  I like him, a lot. Damn it – think of something else.

  “Are you supposed to be Heath Ledger?” she asked, gently dislodging her hand from his.

  “Of course,” he smiled easily. “You look hot, as always. Everyone’s talking about your hair and your gun – they say it looks real.”

  “Oh yeah?” she turned back to the skyline, to the view of the stars over the line of trees outlining his backyard. “Which one, the hair or the gun?”

  “The gun,” he replied. “But your hair looks
good, too.”

  Pulling the pistol from her waistband, she handed it over. “Be careful with it. It might be loaded.”

  Turning it over in his hands, Davey studied the small weapon. “Where did you get this?”

  “I found it.”

  “You found a gun?” he asked incredulously. “You should give it to the police.”

  “I found it at home,” she clarified. Taking it back from him, she pretended to point it into the blackness. “My mother had it.”

  Raising one eyebrow, Davey’s mouth opened, but quickly closed again. Recalling the unease in their conversation last night when Marge’s behavior was called into question, Katie knew he was trying to avoid upsetting her.

  I know…my mother is truly fucked up.

  “Why are you so nice to me?” Katie asked, breaking the silence.

  “I like you. Isn’t it obvious?”

  Tilting her head to the side, Katie waited for more.

  “You’re smart. You’re funny. And even though you could pretend to be just like everyone else, you do your own thing…plus, you’re hot.” Grinning at his clever response, Davey wrapped his arms around Katie and pulled her close to him. “Especially, with red hair.”

  As his lips brushed her ear, Katie couldn’t help but giggle at the tickling sensation. It felt good to let go a little, especially after the last few days. Unlike Mike Tanner and the rest of the boys downstairs, Davey wasn’t trying to talk her out of her underwear. He liked her too.

  After a few minutes, she offered him the pistol. “Will you get rid of this for me? My mom has problems…she really shouldn’t have access to a gun.”

  “I will if you want me to, but – your mom might get in trouble if she doesn’t give it back to the owner. These things are expensive and I think people are supposed to have permits to even carry them.”

  Where did she get it? Maybe the shop?

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. If she took it from her boss, she could get fired.” Sighing, Katie stuffed it back in her waistband.

  Scooting back from the ledge, Davey stood up. Reaching down, he offered Katie his hand. This time, she didn’t think twice about accepting his touch. “We should get back to the party. I don’t want anyone peeing on the couch or anything. Besides, you look like a Bond girl or a Charlie’s Angel in that getup.”

  “You know, I think I better run this back home before I drop it or someone accidently uses it. The luck I’ve been having lately, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “Oh,” Davey looked disappointed. “I’ll come with you.”

  “No, it’s your party. I’ll get Darla to take me and we’ll come right back.” As she looked up into his face, Katie’s heart felt a tug. Even with crazy makeup, the boy was just adorable. Why had she been fighting it?

  Maybe a part of changing will include taking a risk with Davey.

  Stepping closer, he ran his fingers along her jaw. Tilting her chin up, he kissed her. “I hope you come back tonight.”

  Leaning in, she breathed in his wonderful smell. The thrill of a new life was just beginning to take hold.

  “I just might.”

  46

  RACHEL

  Friday 8:20 PM

  “Trust me,” Colette encouraged, “everything is going to work out fine.”

  Her husband, Paul, nodded his head in agreement. Although claiming to be seventy-years-old, the man didn’t look a day over sixty. Fit and well-spoken, his intellect was much sharper than some of the church leaders her father chummed around with on his visits down south. After sharing her story with Colette, the woman called him and requested he join them.

  After Paul’s arrival, Rachel told her story again. Starting at the beginning, she repeated what she told Colette: the birthday dinner, Katie’s gossip in the bathroom, Marge showing up – the boarding school. How she regretted running away, but felt hopeless and lost. Why she ran when Ernie suggested she would need to perform sexual favors in exchange for a place to stay and how much she missed Jason. The hardest part was confessing what she was thinking when she called Colette at the church. Laying it all out on the table was a relief. Admitting the truth was difficult, but it felt better than lying.

  Both Colette and Paul made it clear that they couldn’t force her parents to change their minds, but they were willing to help mediate a conversation.

  “I know I’m supposed to honor my parents,” Rachel said. “I’ve always tried my best to. I just don’t think I can stand living so far from home, especially now that I’m close to graduating. I want to obey – but I feel it’s so unfair."

  “God does command children to obey, but he also instructs parents not to exasperate their children,” Paul replied. “As a father, that was a lesson I had to learn. Your parents are struggling, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. We all need a little guidance. They do, too.”

  “I don’t know. They haven’t listened to me in a long time, they might not.”

  “Don’t give up on God yet, he brought you here, didn’t he?” Colette smiled. “God’s plan isn’t always our plan, but it always turns out better.”

  “I didn’t think of that,” Rachel said. Looking down at her hands, she studied the ring Jason had given her the day before. Wondering if her boyfriend missed her as much as she missed him, she gently touched the opal stone. He was such a part of her life, the thought of spending another hour without him hurt. Although he had been sending her text messages, she didn’t respond; instead, preferring to give all of her attention to Paul and Colette while they discussed her options.

  Moving to the counter, Colette opened one of the cupboards and removed a can of Maxwell House and a pack of filters. Plugging in the coffeemaker, she filled the carafe with water and set it to brew. Smiling, she pointed to the pot, “It’s going to be a long night. Making coffee seems like a good idea. When you’re ready, you can make the call.”

  Placing his firm hand on Rachel’s arm, Paul offered a genuine smile. “Why don’t you go in the sanctuary so you can have privacy. If you need us, we’re right here.”

  Shaking her head in agreement, Rachel rose from her seat. Hours had passed since she met Colette and was brought back to the building; her body was stiff from sitting. Stepping out into the main room, once again she was reminded how different the Church of Christ was in comparison to New Hope. No longer did it matter to her that the place was run down. The compassion she found in the tiny building far outdid any she had experienced at New Hope.

  Taking a seat in the front row, Rachel stared at the podium. Even if she had to meet Ernie and Mars, maybe God brought her to Torrington so she and Jason could stay together. Maybe there was some kind of greater plan in all of it. She hoped the good Lord wouldn’t hold it against her that she gave her virginity to Jason or punish her for wanting to do it again. Somehow, she would figure that all out, once she found a way to trust God to get her back home to her life.

  I don’t know anymore, but I have to believe He can fix this.

  Looking at her cell phone, she reread the text messages from Jason. Over the last hour, he had sent three of them, encouraging her to call her mother. When he first wrote that Angela was at his house with him and his parents and that everything was okay, Rachel was hurt. Her first thought was that Jason betrayed her, that he didn’t want to be held responsible for her taking off so he tattled. But, after reading a few more messages, Rachel realized that wasn’t the case. Jason was the one person she could trust, he wouldn’t buy her mother’s promises unless she was genuinely convincing.

  What if she’s lying to him? What if it’s a trick to bring me home?

  Again her phone buzzed. Another text lit up the screen.

  “Your mom is still at my place. You’re grandma, too. She said you don’t have to go away. Why isn’t Ernie answering his phone? Please call me.”

  My grandmother? Where’s Dad?

  Staring at the message, Rachel tried finding the courage to place the call. From where she sat, she could see in
to the little kitchen where Paul and Colette drank coffee, waiting for her to make the call home. Knowing they would support her when her parents came to get her made it a little easier, but she was still scared. Angela and Brian Jones were experts at putting on an act. How many times did she participate in one of their façades? She hoped the Beckers were too wise to fall for the “perfect family show.”

  Scrolling through her contacts, Rachel selected Jason’s cell and hit send.