What's Real

by Daaimah S. Poole

  “You got to work for your money,” he said as he ripped my dress off me. He was already hard, so I grabbed all of his erect nine and a quarter inches and put it in my mouth. I licked it slowly up and down. I tried as hard as I could to put it all the way down my throat. I wanted to deep-throat that shit better than the best porn chick. After I finished, he got on top of me and banged my back out. Goddamn, he was so powerful. He pulled my hair and spanked my ass. I fucked the shit out of him back. He hit the back of my walls. Every time he hit it I screamed.

  “Stop screaming,” he said.

  “I can’t,” I said.

  “Touch your toes,” he demanded. He went from smooth to rough and strong. Bitch, you going to be calling me, sending me tickets to your shows, telling me to come and see your ass, I thought. For about two hours straight, we went at it. He had never had sex like that in his life. I could bank on that. I know I was the best he ever had. Every time he stroked I felt it in my back. After we were done, he asked me for my number and put it in his Blackberry phone. I put my ripped dress back on, asked him for my money, and if he could walk me to my hotel because my dress was ripped. He said he didn’t have any money and the door was that way. I still wanted this to lead to something, so I said, “Kamani, I need my money.”

  “I heard what you said. Maybe you didn’t hear what I said. I don’t have it.” I could not believe I had just been burnt for my money.

  “You got it on a credit card, Mac card, something,” I said.

  “Did you hear what I said? Get out before I call security.”

  “So what you think, you’re just going to burn me?” I asked.

  “Pretty much,” he said as he tried to show me the door.

  “I don’t think so,” I said as I got up in his face.

  He said, “What you going to do, call the cops?” He was right, I couldn’t call the cops. But I could run up his fucking card. I’m glad I took that shit. All I could do was leave. I was going to max his credit card up for trying to play me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Natalie

  Janelle and Tanya were out. I was in the room by myself watching television. Janelle was making me so mad. She was leaving me and Tanya. She was having a great time going to all these parties meeting celebrities. I finally broke down. I called home and I heard my baby crying. Anthony was yelling at me, saying, “My wife does not go out of town for the weekend! I’m done with you, Natalie. I’m washing my hands of you.”

  “Listen, Anthony, just listen,” I cried.

  “Listen to what? You think it’s a game or some type of joke, don’t you? When I said I want to marry you, I meant every word. I saved up to buy your engagement ring. I wanted to propose to you on your birthday in November, but I was broke, so I bought you a necklace. But as soon as I got enough money, I bought you the biggest ring I could afford and gave it to you on Christmas. I never did that for any other woman. I didn’t even pay my bills to get you that ring. Then I married you right away. I didn’t say let’s be engaged for a year. I married you against my mother’s wishes. But you don’t appreciate me.”

  “I know, Anthony, I just needed to get away, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

  “Natalie, those bitches don’t have a man. Tanya is a slut. You told me that yourself. And Janelle don’t have a man or a baby. You have a family, but you left it for a stupid trip. You left me for the weekend with your cousin and your girlfriend.”

  “Anthony, I said I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry is not good enough. I know you down there parting your legs for niggas.”

  “No, I am not. I’m not sleeping with anyone. Why would you say something like that?”

  “Yes, you are, I’m not stupid. That’s what women do when they go on girlfriend trips. If you want to save our marriage you better get your ass home.”

  And once again, he hung up on me. I couldn’t stay in Miami anymore. Janelle was with that football guy and I don’t know where Tanya was. All I knew was I had to get home. I was sitting on the bed and then I started crying harder and harder. I couldn’t help it. I had to go home. I grabbed the yellow pages out of the night desk, called Delta, and asked them if I could catch an earlier flight. Delta told me the earliest flight was leaving Monday, tomorrow. It would be fifty dollars to switch tickets and an additional two hundred for the ticket. That was the day before I was scheduled to leave anyway. American Airlines said they didn’t have any available flights. Then I called Air Tran, nothing, United, nothing. Then I thought about taking the bus. I called Greyhound. They did have a bus leaving at 5:00 p.m., but it wouldn’t get back to Philadelphia for almost a day and a half. It had all these stops.

  I cried again and paced around the room. I felt trapped. I needed my baby, my husband, and they needed me. I had let them down. I sat back on the bed and tried to think of ways to get home. Then I thought of renting a car and called Enterprise. It was five hundred dollars and some change for a one-way trip. I couldn’t really afford it, but I wanted to go home.

  I went downstairs to the lobby and asked if the front desk agent could check on mapquest.com for me. The site said it would take me about twenty-seven hours to drive home. I was not going to drive that long by myself. I couldn’t fly until Monday, the bus was too slow, so I guessed I was stuck. Anthony was just going to have to yell at me some more. I did all I could do. I tried, I really tried.

  I went back to the room, turned out the lights, and went to sleep. I couldn’t sleep because there was too much noise going on outside. I just thought about my life and how I had really fucked up. I heard a knock on the door. I went to answer it. I turned the lights on and saw Todd had knocked on the door. “I know you not asleep. Where are your girls?”

  “Out somewhere.”

  “And you in the room by yourself?”

  “Yup.”

  “That’s not right. You want to go get something to eat?”

  “No, I think I’m going to stay in. I’m tired from last night.”

  “You sure you okay? Well, if you don’t want to get a drink, at least get something to eat.”

  “No, I don’t feel like it. I just want to go home.”

  “Home? You are in Miami. Come on, let’s go and get pizza. You shouldn’t be sitting up in a room crying and lonely. The fresh air will be good for you. Okay?”

  “Okay, I’ll go.”

  We walked to this small pizzeria, got our pizza to go, and walked back to Todd’s room.

  “My husband is mad at me for coming down to Miami. I shouldn’t be down here. I don’t belong,” I confessed as we walked down the street.

  “This is not really my scene either. I have a girlfriend back in New York. It seems like if you don’t have a Benz or a platinum chain on, a female can’t even holler at you.”

  I laughed at his comment. “All these girls have stilettos on with everything hanging out. I don’t dress like them. I went into the store and the biggest size they had was a ten. If you bigger than a ten, then you don’t get no love down here.”

  “Well, every store I go into, there is an Antoine or Salvatore saying how can I help you, with their hand on their hip. I can’t take it. Then if they are not gay, they don’t understand me. No offense but everybody speaks Spanish. I went into Denny’s and I felt like I was in a different country because everybody was speaking Spanish. I was the only person speaking English.”

  I started laughing. It was the truth. I had noticed that too!

  We talked a little more and I was enjoying our conversation until Todd said, “Do you think your husband will mind if I give you a kiss?”

  “What?” I said. He had caught me totally off guard.

  “I’m telling you. Take you clothes off and I’ll massage you, and kiss you all over your body, and that will make you forget all your worries.”

  “No, I’m okay. Actually, thanks for the pizza, but I got to go.” I had just cried and spilled my guts to Todd and his mind was still on trying to fuck me. Unbelievable! He had seemed li
ke he was sincerely concerned. I can’t wait to get home to my baby.

  At least I know my husband and my baby love me regardless of what size I am.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Janelle

  I showered, dressed, and met Damon in the lobby. He showed up with small-rimmed eyeglasses on. They didn’t make him look nerdy. He looked really good. His muscles weren’t popping out of his shirt, but they were noticeable. I never liked a big muscular guy with muscle shirts on, but his were nice. He had on a long black T-shirt and blue jean shorts with a pair of white Air Force Ones. His eyeglasses matched his platinum chain. He had a trimmed mustache and light facial hair. His ears were studded with large square diamonds. He didn’t have all that jewelry on last night. We walked toward his car. It was a new shiny silver BMW 745i. He opened my door for me and I got into the seat and melted. The leather was so soft. “So where are we going?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. I just wanted to see you. We can do whatever.”

  “Whatever? Um, I don’t know about that.”

  “Well, if you not with whatever, how about we get something to eat?”

  “No, I just ate. We can get drinks,” I said.

  “All right, then I can show you around Miami.”

  “What, you trying to get me home?”

  “No, I’m just trying to spend time with you,” he said as he looked at me. “You are so cute.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I blushed.

  We went to get drinks at a bar in Coconut Grove. I ordered a mai tai drink. It was served in a coconut with an umbrella and pineapples and a cherry adorned it. I was really enjoying his company. After our drinks we walked and talked more about our families, growing up, and our passions in life. Damon’s father was in the navy and his mother was a teacher. His sister’s name was Yolonda and his younger brother, Corey, went to Bethune Cookman College, his baby sister, Kisha, was still in high school. Damon began interrogating me about relationships, past and present.

  “Who are you seeing at home?”

  “I’m not seeing anybody. How about you?”

  “My girl left me.”

  “Why did she leave you?”

  “Another woman.”

  “Are you serious?” I said.

  “It’s true.”

  “I don’t believe that,” I told him as I tried to keep from laughing.

  “Do you believe this?” Damon said as he pulled me close to him and kissed me right in the middle of the street. People were walking past and couples were holding hands, children were getting their faces painted. It was a short, simple kiss. His lips were succulent. We walked past a movie theater and he asked if I wanted to see a movie. I told him there was nothing out I wanted to see.

  I couldn’t believe Damon wanted to chill with just me. His boys kept calling him all day telling him about different parties and things going on. “She must be a dime. You not coming out. She got to be gorgeous,” I overheard his friend say over the phone.

  “She is beautiful to me,” he said as he glanced at me.

  “I’m going to stop answering this phone now. I’m cool. I met who I wanted to meet,” he said as he grabbed my hand.

  We rode back down to Southbeach near my hotel. There were all these girls, pretty girls, half naked, and down for whatever was walking around, and Damon didn’t want them. It didn’t matter to me that I was missing the parties. All the cars, guys, and rappers were walking and driving by. It was so much chaos going on, but we were together taking everything nice and slow, like we had been together for years. We parked and were walking down the street holding hands while everyone else was trying to have a one-night stand and a quick thrill.

  We went back to his house, which was about thirty minutes away from my hotel. It was in north Miami. He had a house with a two-car garage. The outside and neighborhood was very nice. The inside was very simple and basic, not what I expected. It was plain and lacked pizzazz. It looked lived-in though. His table had place mats and dishes set up, but it looked like it was never used. He told me to look around as he went upstairs into his bedroom. He had cream marble floors and a crystal chandelier. There were glass tables, a multicolored sectional, and a plasma-screen television.

  He yelled from upstairs, “If you want, there is juice and wine in the refrigerator.”

  I walked over to his kitchen and opened his stainless steel refrigerator. He had bottles of water, an Italian Garden to-go bag, a few bananas and oranges, Gatorade and plenty of high-protein maintenance shakes. I pulled out the white wine and cranberry juice he was talking about and poured myself a glass. I noticed his green and white marble countertops were shiny and spotless. There wasn’t one dish in the sink and his copper-colored pots looked like they had never been touched. I brought him a glass of juice up to the bedroom, as an excuse to see what his room looked like. He had two extra bedrooms. I peeked outside. There was a large gated backyard big enough for a pool.

  “I’m renting this. I didn’t buy a house down here yet because I’m not ready. When I’m ready I will. I got one at home in Orlando though.”

  “It’s nice and neat in here.”

  “I have a housekeeper, Rita, comes in once a week. She buys my food and straightens up.”

  “Must be nice,” I said as I continued to look around.

  The bedroom curtains and comforter were a masculine tan and cream color. His bed was tall and grand with coliseum poles at the end of it. I would need a stepladder to get into it. It looked comfy and had about twelve pillows on it. I glanced into his huge bathroom. There were two walk-in closets and a big Jacuzzi tub. There was a double sink and a standing shower next to it. I went back downstairs to the living room and flipped through his CD collection. He had a mixture of R&B and rap.

  “What are you doing with a Justin Timberlake CD?”

  “That’s not mine. I swear to God. My sister Kisha brought that when she came to visit.”

  “Whatever. You can admit it.”

  Damon put on an Alicia Keys CD and poured us glasses of white wine. We stood on his patio. The view was so pretty, the city lights and horizon in the distance. I wished I could stay here forever right in his arms. This was the first time in my life I wanted time to stand still, at least for another week.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Janelle

  I stayed with Damon last night. Being with him is total bliss. I don’t care if we’ve only known each other a little while. I still haven’t given him any yet, but we have come very close. He was probably used to girls who give it up fast. I wanted to be different from them. He didn’t even really try anyway. I guess it will happen eventually. I am going back out with him today. He dropped me off at the hotel and I went to get dressed. Natalie wasn’t in the room and Tanya was asleep all balled up under the covers. I saw her head come up from under the covers. She looked at me and asked, “You going back out?”

  “Yeah, I’ll see y’all tomorrow before we leave. Where Natalie at?”

  “I think she went to the beach.”

  “Tell her I said to call me.”

  Damon was waiting outside. His windows were rolled down and he had his sunglasses on.

  Tomorrow I’ll be back to the everyday hustle and bustle, cleaning, arguing, and cussing my brothers and mother out. Today I was going to have fun. Damon said he had to show up at this party his friend was throwing. If he didn’t go his partners would be calling him soft and talking about him. I didn’t really want to go to a party with him. If I wanted to party I would have stayed with Nat and Tanya.

  We went to the party his friend was throwing at the Loew’s Hotel. It was a mixed crowd, Spanish, white, black, and every other nationality. The music varied from room to room. One room had hip-hop, the other was techno, another reggae, and another soca. Damon held my hand and led me through the party. The strobe lights were fuchsia, yellow and white flashing all around the party. At first I felt a little nervous because I thought I might run into Mannis, but then I realized he wouldn’t care
if he saw me. He probably wouldn’t have even remembered me. Everybody kept coming over to Damon, speaking and shaking his hand. I was just standing there feeling out of place. One guy was walking around with twins. One on each arm like he was the man.

  “You want a drink?” Damon asked.

  “No, not right now, I have to go to the bathroom. Hold this for me,” I said.

  I went to the bathroom to check my hair to see how it looked. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw Damon talking to this white girl. She was very thin with brown hair and blond highlights. I walked back over to where Damon was standing. I stood to the side of him.

  Damon turned around and said, “Janelle, I want you to meet Kelly.” She was wearing a low-cut, draped, revealing dress, and her hair was resting on her shoulders. She had a white multicolored monogrammed Louis Vuitton bag. I said hello awkwardly. I still didn’t know who Kelly was to Damon, so I stood quietly. If she was his girlfriend, I didn’t want to play him, and if she was just a friend, I wouldn’t want to get upset. Besides, we’d only known each other a day or two. I was still trying to figure out who Kelly was when a guy built similar to Damon came over to her and kissed her on her neck. He was a little taller and huskier than Damon with dark skin and a small blow-out haircut.

  “This is my partner Carl from Chicago, he plays with me on the team,” Damon said. Carl smiled at me and shook my hand. They were talking about the upcoming season. I made small talk with Kelly. She seemed to be cool. I stepped away from Damon and attempted to buy a drink. “Hi, can I get an apple martini?” I asked the bartender.

  “One minute.” The bartender walked away, opened a few Corona beers and put limes in, then poured three glasses of white zinfandel. She came back, wiped up a spill, turned around, cashed out a check, waited on another man. I said excuse me four times. She looked over at me and said, “One minute.”

  I get it, she doesn’t wait on females. She was only catering to the men. Damon’s friend Carl walked over and said, “Hey, Jen.”