Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “He says it’s gone, but he’s lying. Get someone on his tail immediately.”

  “Already done,” he said. This didn’t surprise me. Donato frequently had eyes on his brother because he was a loose cannon, too much of a liability.

  “Then you know where he’s stashed the goods?”

  “In a warehouse that isn’t ours. I hoped he was being thorough, but he can’t be trusted. I’ll send in a team to extract it now.” There was disappointment in Donato’s voice. He wasn’t naive, but his brother was a difficult spot for him.

  “I told him to come up with the painting or the money by tomorrow. What are we going to do about him?” I was tired of Vinny getting preferential treatment because of who he was. But more than that, I was sick of him in general.

  “I’ll handle it.”

  Fantastic. Something else Vinny would blame me for. More grief I didn’t want or need. But I owed it to Donato to help with this job, though he never made me feel as if I was in his debt. I had my own separate business, but it was entwined with his. I depended on him, and I was afraid one day Vinny would be the thing that ripped us apart.

  If he didn’t, what I had to do very soon likely would.

  5

  Vivian

  Present

  The sound of a key in the lock made my heart slam in my chest. I’d said he wouldn’t even know I was at the apartment. That wasn’t exactly the truth, but I hadn’t intended on being parked in the foyer either.

  I pressed my palms into the hardwood beside me. I wasn’t ready to see him. God, I wanted to see him. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since I’d left him in his study, but it felt like weeks. I missed him already.

  The doorknob turned in slow motion, my eyes riveted to it, breath held. After one look at the petite frame clad in dark jeans and a jade sweater standing in the doorway, I exhaled a lungful of air.

  “Vivian,” Muriella said, sweeping into the room, shoving the door shut behind her. She glowered at the luggage, and then her expression morphed into one of pain.

  The minute she sank down to join me on the floor, her tiny arms slid around me, and I buried my head against her chest.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered against my hair.

  “He told you?” I mumbled into her sweater.

  “Don’t hate me,” Muriella said, and my head popped up, our eyes meeting. Her mocha ones were tormented, and I tried to reassure her with mine that I could never hate her. Muriella was my best friend, my sister, my family. Just like I was nothing without Daniel, I couldn’t function without her either. “He told me earlier today.”

  I gave her a watery smile. “I should have figured that.” Then I gestured toward my stuff.

  She vehemently shook her head no, long hickory-colored locks flying. “I told him if he was intent on doing this, he was completely on his own. There is no way I’d ever help him destroy his life. Yours either.”

  I let out a long breath and dropped my head to her shoulder. “I made him give me a week to find somewhere else to go.”

  “Forget that. You’ll come live with me,” she insisted, steely determination behind her words.

  “I can’t. It’s too close to him.” I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering how in the hell I was ever going to make myself leave. It was the only place I’d ever felt at home. “He bought me an apartment. Can you believe that shit?”

  “I’m giving you a free pass on your language, just for today,” she admonished, but she didn’t mean a word of it. Bless her, she was trying to maintain a little bit of normalcy for my benefit. She was forever scolding me for my language, which we both knew was never going to change. “He wants to take care of you.”

  “Then why is he doing this to us? You don’t buy an apartment and load up the bank account of someone you’re breaking up with. And I swear I didn’t see it coming. But I should have, should have seen some sign. I honestly thought we were good. Better than that,” I finished, sounding as deflated as I felt.

  “I don’t know what’s going on. When I asked him, he shut down. But I’m scared, V. This afternoon, his eyes looked like they used to, before you came to us. There was nothing in them. They were just…cold.” Muriella appeared mystified by the change in the man we both cared for.

  We were quiet for a minute, reflecting on how to fix our family and where it all went wrong. Daniel had to have known this would not only affect the two of us as a couple, but Muriella as well. He wasn’t an emotional man, but he felt something fierce for her. I was furious with him for putting our M in the middle of this. It wasn’t fair to make her choose sides or even feel she would have to. I knew he needed her. If push came to shove, I’d give her up. But I was hellbent on keeping us all intact.

  Muriella amazed me. Though she was only six years older than me, her wisdom was that of someone far more mature, yet she managed to keep a lightness about her. Her determination not to let the past completely rule her was inspiring. That was one reason she spoke with no accent whatsoever despite her Nicaraguan origins. She wanted to blend in with her surroundings, disassociate from what she’d left behind, and she did.

  I pointed my chin toward the mountain of stuff. “So you don’t have any idea where my pajamas could be?”

  Muriella snickered. Where I’d found the strength to joke at a time like this, I wasn’t sure. But there wasn’t time to fall apart, even though I felt like all that was keeping me from going over the ledge was my fingernails. The breakdown was imminent, but I couldn’t let that happen until I had exhausted all efforts to get Daniel back.

  “I have no idea,” M said, taking my fingers in hers and squeezing.

  “Then looks like I’ll be wearing something of Daniel’s,” I said, preparing to stand. “Let’s get off this floor. My ass is numb.”

  We rose, but Muriella grasped both of my biceps, her expression worried. “Vivian—” she started, but I shook my head.

  “Not now, M.” She was here for me. That was what I needed. I wasn’t ready to talk.

  “We’ll eat. I’ve got roast chicken in the warming drawer downstairs.”

  She was already tugging me to the front door so we could go to her apartment on the floor below. I followed for a second before planting my feet. “Come with me to change.”

  We reversed course, going to my bedroom. Once we were in the closet that only this morning I’d shared with Daniel, it was like a punch in the nose seeing all his things there while mine were gone.

  “I don’t think I can do this,” I whispered, closing my eyes. It smelled like him. The pain that tightened my chest was almost more than I could bear.

  “Vivian, you are the most determined person I have ever known. Far more than Daniel, and that’s saying something. I can’t explain why difficult things happen, and I only have my experience to draw upon, but there is light after the darkness. God will never give you more than you are capable of handling. We will get through this,” she promised, and though I knew she was right, I had my doubts. Muriella had an unwavering faith. Mine wasn’t as strong, not by a long shot. I was more of a why in the hell is God doing this to me kind of person. She saw things as part of a bigger picture.

  I leaned my forehead against hers. “Keep telling me he’ll come back.”

  “I never said that, V,” she said softly, her voice pained. “Only that we would get through this together.”

  I gave her a wry smile. “I’d be perfectly okay with you bullshitting me right now to make me feel better.”

  “No, you wouldn’t.”

  “You’re right,” I conceded, appreciating the honesty between us. We didn’t keep secrets, and we didn’t tell lies. “Let’s go eat.”

  She brightened at that. “Aren’t you going to change?”

  “Yeah. I got a little shell-shocked coming in here.” I shook it off, drawing on the strength of my best friend.

  I quickly changed into a pair of Daniel’s old sweatpants and a T-shirt. It was some comfort having on his clothes, more significa
nt than I expected.

  I slung my arm around M’s shoulders and guided her out to the bedroom. “Will you stay with me tonight?”

  She frowned and shot me a look of irritation. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t even ask me that.”

  6

  Vivian

  Eight Years Earlier

  “Three days is all you could wait to see me again?” I feigned confidence to hide my surprise at the sight of the angel warrior in the lobby of Hamerstein and Associates. What in the dickens is he doing here?

  And why the hell did he look like he just walked off a runway? Hands shoved in his pockets. A suit that hung on his broad frame like it was made for him. Dark hair mussed by the wind.

  But those eyes…shrewd, yet pleasure evident in them as I approached. My heart stuttered, but my strides were fluid instead of betraying the slight tremor in my legs.

  “We weren’t properly introduced,” he said as he closed the distance between us.

  “Ever consider there’s a reason for that?”

  He grinned, and I looked down at my clothes to make sure they hadn’t evaporated on the spot. Lord knew I felt like ripping them off.

  “You don’t strike me as a runner.”

  What the hell? Maybe I didn’t work out religiously—okay, at all—but I was in damn good shape. “Well, you strike me as a stalker.”

  His eyes danced, but his mouth quirked down as if the accusation was a foreign one and he didn’t quite know what to do with it.

  “Would you believe I happened to be in the neighborhood? Wanted to hear that Southern drawl again?”

  “Not a chance.” I lifted my chin, and his eyes raked down the column of my neck. I flexed my fingers so as not to touch the skin where his look had singed me. I couldn’t do this. Feel whatever this was. “You’ve said hello. Now, I have work to do.”

  I spun, and he caught me by the elbow. His breath on my ear raised every hair on my body. “See. A runner.”

  Was he insinuating I was a coward? I whirled back around to set him straight and immediately regretted it. His face was inches from mine. I held my breath to keep from burying my nose in his suit. No one should smell that good. Not without a warning.

  “I hope this isn’t your usual approach with women.”

  Fuck him and that gorgeous smile. It lit his whole face and made him even more impossibly handsome.

  “They usually approach me.”

  I rolled my lips together. “That explains a lot.”

  “Don’t you want to know why I’m here?” His voice was so low that I leaned in closer to hear him. Another mistake. I was too close, all in his personal space.

  “You want a proper introduction.” I thrust my hand out, creating some distance. “Vivian DeGraw. Though you already know that. Now goodbye.”

  His fingers clasped my hand and squeezed. He didn’t shake, just held me in place. “Daniel Elliott. And this most definitely isn’t goodbye.”

  * * *

  I don’t believe this. Daniel had been trying for three weeks to get me to go out with him. I hadn’t said yes. And now the stalker was at Paths of Purpose carrying a stack of pizza boxes into the dining area. This was drastic even for him.

  I watched as Daniel served pizza to the women and children gathered around one of the few cafeteria-style tables. He seemed eager to do it, as if he genuinely wanted to be there, when I naturally assumed he didn’t. And he was good with the kids—playing catch with some of the boys and watching a skit a few of the kids put on. In one afternoon, he shattered some of my preconceived notions about him. I saw a different man than the one he’d shown me thus far. Behind the cold, elitist image he’d crafted, he was infinitely more down to earth than he’d ever let on.

  I bumped my hip with his as we cleaned up empty plates and cups. “The kids like you being here.”

  A shadow crossed his face as he shoved a paper plate into the trash. He didn’t respond, so I continued.

  “They need a bigger space. I’m sorry to say it, but they’re overflowing here. Mrs. Quinn said they had ten new people come just last week.” The director of the facility and I had had long talks about the needs of the shelter. How she remained positive when there were so many in need impressed me.

  “What do you propose they do?” Daniel asked, focused on the clean-up task.

  I looked around, feeling helpless. “Build a new shelter. A much bigger one.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. But something.”

  “Why is this so important to you?” He set the garbage bag down and looked at me.

  I shifted from foot to foot. “I-I can’t really explain it. I feel it here.” I pointed to my heart. “I need to do something to help these people.”

  “I get it.” And I believed him.

  He resumed clearing the tables, and I found myself regretting that it was time to go.

  We left the building with reluctant steps, and I noticed an expensive-looking car parked at the curb. He spun on me and gripped my arms. “One night. Give me just one.” His eyes burned into me, intense and demanding.

  “No.”

  His hands dropped like I’d electrocuted him, and I felt cold without his touch. “Why?” He seemed perplexed, like he’d done everything in the world he was supposed to, and now I should just say yes. Spending an afternoon doing something good wasn’t going to convince me. It had helped his cause, given me a glimpse of his heart, but it wasn’t enough.

  “You’re already too attached to me. One night, and I’ll never be rid of you,” I said seriously, though my eyes crinkled in the corners. I loved teasing him. I doubted anyone dared to do it, not often at least, and I got a little thrill at the incredulous flicker in his eyes.

  “You’re afraid,” he declared, looking triumphant.

  I wasn’t going to fall for his goading, especially when he was wrong. “No. I’m not. But I bet you are.”

  “And what exactly would I be scared of?” he asked haughtily.

  “That I’ll never say yes,” I said, tilting my head. “And if I ever do, you won’t be able to figure out how to keep me.”

  “I think that’s the other way around,” he said dismissively.

  “Is it?” I replied innocently. I didn’t miss the little tug upward at the corner of his mouth. “If you want to continue throwing away money, put it to good use and donate it here instead of sending those ridiculous flowers.”

  “I’ll have you know that those flowers you call ridiculous—”

  “Save it, Elliott. I’m not going to sleep with you just because you send me some roses.”

  He full-on grinned at that, and I had to admit, I loved making him smile, no matter how I accomplished it. “When you do, I’m going to spread your legs and feast on your pussy until you can’t think of anything but how good I make you feel. You’ll be so addicted to me, I’ll have to go into hiding to rest my mouth.”

  My eyes widened, and my heart raced. No one had ever talked to me like that. I had no personal experience to draw from in the oral sex department, but the man painted a powerful image. I could picture his head buried between my thighs, and everything south of my stomach tightened as I imagined what his mouth would feel like on me. He gave me a triumphant smirk as if he’d been inside my head, seeing the vision.

  I sucked in a breath, the oxygen to my brain clearing the shock, and schooled my features to nonchalance.

  “You going into hiding sounds like a good idea. I’ll give you a head start.” I turned my back to him and covered my eyes, beginning to count like we were playing hide and go seek. When I got to twenty, I lowered my hands and opened my eyes. “Damn. You’re still here.”

  “Lucky you.”

  “And that is why I will never go anywhere with you,” I informed him, shifting my bag from one shoulder to the other, preparing to make my escape.

  His brows shot up. “Explain.”

  “Add ‘please’ to the end of that, and you’ll get a lot further,” I retorted, growing more frustrated by the second.
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  “That word is not in my vocabulary,” he informed me, running a hand through his black hair, his frustration mounting too.

  “I don’t have to explain shit to you. And you need to brush up on your manners.”

  “Vivian, I don’t do polite, and I sure as hell don’t have time for manners.”

  “Then I don’t have time for you.” I ignored the flutter in my belly when he spoke my name. I began to move past him, but he grabbed me by the arm.

  “Please explain why you will never go anywhere with me.” It was said impatiently.

  I smiled to myself slyly before facing him. “See how much better that is? Although, you could work on your tone. But I’ll give you credit for your effort.” He didn’t let go of my arm, and I didn’t want him to, though I cast a withering look at where his fingers were wrapped around my bicep. “There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is unbecoming. You haven’t once sincerely asked me out. You think you’re entitled because you say the words.”

  “You’re teetering precariously between the two.”

  “It’s a fine line to walk.” I was a product of my environment, having learned early on I had to believe in myself for myself. No one else was going to do it.

  “You think you’re a princess, do you?” Daniel thought I was being stuck-up and spoiled, but that wasn’t it at all. Spending time with him would be a privilege for me also if he’d let me in just a little.

  “You’ve got that backward, Princess.” He scowled, but that’s exactly what he was behaving like. “The reasons you want to spend the night with me are all about you.”

  “You can’t be certain of my reasons until I’m given the chance. I guarantee I’ll make you forget about anything else but me. You’ve never known the kind of pleasure I can bring you.”

  “I wasn’t talking about sex. But I think that’s all you know.” It wasn’t a long shot to assume this man didn’t do relationships. “What would it be like to ask a woman out because you genuinely wanted to know her? Do you even know how to court a woman, one who has no intention of being in your bed at the end of the night? Anyone can get you off, but you want more and don’t even know it. That’s why you’re after me. But I’ve become a conquest, a challenge. One you will never conquer with your current attitude.”