Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

“M…” Sometimes I just didn’t think. “Stone doesn’t want anyone else but you.”

  “Even if he did, I have no right to be upset.” But she would be. I could see it on that gorgeous face.

  “What about the dates you agreed to?”

  She pursed her lips. “I said I’d go.”

  Stone reappeared. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” we answered simultaneously.

  He arched a disbelieving brow but let it go as we left for church.

  27

  Vivian

  Eight Years Earlier

  Talking was supposed to eliminate the barriers between us, but instead it had erected a wall. Daniel had been silent through breakfast and didn’t speak on the short drive into Queenstown. Apparently sleeping on something to cool down wasn’t a trick in his arsenal. He was still pissed off. Underneath all that anger at his father was an overwhelming hurt I wanted to take away. I felt hurt by my parents too, but I knew that comparing our situations was like apples and oranges. His anger appeared to lead him to true hatred, whereas I wasn’t angry at all, just resigned to my parents’ indifference.

  We strolled through town, his arm stiff where I clutched it, and he seemed anywhere else but here with me. I tried to lighten the mood with girl talk.

  “Hey, Princess,” I said. I was window-shopping while he brooded. “We should get something to take back to Muriella.” He gave me a sidelong glance, but said nothing. “I’ll pay you back after I get my next paycheck.”

  This seemed to incense him further, but I ignored it and dragged him to the next window. There was a bracelet made of hammered silver and pāua shell in the display that was perfect for Muriella. “What do you think?” I pointed and got a whatever shrug in return. I shook his shoulders. “You can snap out of it for ten minutes to find a gift for Muriella.” I’d had enough. Stewing all day didn’t seem to be an effective coping technique for him. If anything, his mood had darkened. It was time to take the kid gloves off.

  “You know what? Forget about the bracelet. Muriella won’t mind if we come back without a gift for her. She’ll know we didn’t think of her at all.” I patted his cheek, giving him a condescending look.

  Except he didn’t bite. So I grabbed his hand and dragged him toward Steamer Wharf. He followed along, which I took as progress. Didn’t even hesitate when I pulled open the door to Minus 5 Ice Bar.

  He laid down his credit card, and in minutes, we were pulling on heavy blue coats with fur-lined hoods, Ugg boots, and winter gloves.

  “Come on,” I said with a grin when it was time to go inside.

  I was wowed on impact. The entire room was a palace made of ice. There were sculptures of people and animals dotted throughout the space. A swordfish. A windmill. Matching lions. A goat. Even a bench and chairs made from giant blocks of ice, with complex patterns carved into them.

  We only had fifteen minutes in the frigid bar, so I wandered around, keeping Daniel’s hand firmly in mine. He said nothing as I marveled at the intricate designs.

  “Look at this detail.” I pointed toward a swan. There were eyes and feathers and a perfectly shaped beak.

  Daniel stared at the smooth ice, but the silent treatment continued. Eventually, I wound over to the bar, accepting the Polar Blair cocktail the bartender passed.

  “Look! It’s an ice glass.” I held it up to Daniel in awe. No reaction. “Oh come on. This is impressive.”

  I nearly dropped my drink when he took a sip of the fruity red concoction. He wrinkled his nose and set the glass back down on the bar. More silence.

  I tasted my own, shivering at the chilly glass against my lips. Pretty good, but I could see where a whiskey palate might not like it.

  I meandered over to an unoccupied bench which was covered with an animal skin. As I sat, I held out the camera to Daniel. “Take my picture?”

  He took a few shots while I posed before sinking down next me. Even obliged when I asked another couple to take a photo of us. I snuggled next to him, and slung his arm around my shoulders when he wouldn’t do it voluntarily.

  I kissed his rigid cheek. “Thought you’d thaw out in this place since it’s warmer than you are.”

  “You wanted me, Vivian. Well, here I am,” he sneered.

  “No. It’s part of you. It’s not you.”

  “This is me. It’s time you saw that for yourself so you can get the hell out now.”

  “I’m not going to make it that easy for you.” I touched his cool face, eyes imploring his. He refused to budge an inch. “This is magical. We’re really not taking advantage.” I waggled my eyebrows, changing tactics. That didn’t work either.

  I burrowed against him and wrapped my arm around his stomach, willing him to soften, even if only a little bit. Lightly, I brushed my lips against his, which only seemed to incense him further.

  “You’ve made a good effort, but you’re not going to spoil my day,” I said against his ear. The ripple of a shiver betrayed his effort to appear completely emotionless. “Want to go check out the gondola after this?”

  Well that got a response, but not quite what I expected.

  “All this time we’ve spent together, you’ve been quick to point out your demands and expectations for this relationship, with which I have been compliant. Not once have you asked me what I want nor what I expect, so I think it’s time for me to lay some of it out for you.”

  Finally. Now we’re getting somewhere. He’d said ‘relationship’ like it was a foul word that disgusted him, but I still took this as progress. “If you want your desires to be known, you have to voice them,” I told him, disentangling from him and straightening. This bullshit game he was trying to play wasn’t going to work. For a week he’d talked to me, and now he was hiding behind a wall. I saw it for exactly what it was, and the expression on my face told him as much.

  “I’m sure the title you want is ‘girlfriend,’ and I’m willing to concede that. But I’m going to fuck other women whenever I so choose. I’m going to do it, and I’ll be honest with you about it.”

  I laughed hard. In his face. He was too smart to believe I’d actually go for that.

  “So you want to be like Hugh Hefner, and I’ll be Girlfriend Number One?” I asked.

  “You’ll be the only girlfriend. The others, I’ll just fuck. You don’t have to watch…unless you want to.”

  I unzipped my coat, this ridiculous conversation causing my temperature to rise. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing again and nodded as if to say I understood. “First of all, I neither want nor need a label—oh, excuse me. I mean title. But if I were to have one, it would be ‘everything,’ not ‘girlfriend.’ I don’t play second fiddle. You can fuck all the women you want to, but when you come to tell me about it, I won’t be around to listen.”

  “Second fiddle?” It was his turn to laugh, but it was cruel. What the fuck is he up to? “How about third or fourth? Would that suit you better?”

  “I’m not just the fiddle. I’m the entire band.”

  “Vivian, you’re going to have to learn to compromise if you want to be in a successful relationship,” he chided.

  “I am perfectly willing to do that, but not at the risk of lowering my standards.”

  “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.”

  He thought he’d accomplished whatever goal he was striving for.

  A cute guy—well, as much as I could see past his fur-lined hood—meandered near us, and I snagged him by the wrist. “Hey, handsome,” I said, looking up at him with big come-hither eyes. He looked startled and then smiled. I rubbed the pulse point on his wrist with my thumb in a hypnotic rhythm. I felt gutsy in that moment, ready to go for broke. “My boyfriend likes to watch other men fuck me.” He looked in Daniel’s direction. I applied pressure to his wrist to regain his attention. “He wants to see it. Right here. Right now.” I looked up at him from under heavy lids, patting the seat beside me.

  He looked unsure, like he couldn’t believe his luck. �
�Right now?” he croaked in disbelief, but there was eagerness in his voice.

  “Right. Now.” I confirmed, scooting closer to Daniel to make room.

  I saw the moment he made his decision. He took a step toward the bench.

  “If your ass hits that seat, you won’t live to regret it,” Daniel growled.

  The boy jumped back, yanking free from my grasp, and scurried off like a rabbit who had just escaped a coyote. I turned to look at Daniel, my smile triumphant. I win.

  He stood and threw a wad of money on the table. “Let’s go.”

  Feeling like a popsicle, I rubbed both of my arms as we exited back out to the street in our summer clothes. Daniel grabbed my hand in a death grip and led me to the SUV. He was sexy as hell when he was mad about being outfoxed. What in God’s name had he been thinking anyway? Fuck whoever he wants, my ass.

  Instead of going back to the condo, he pulled into the parking lot of the gondola ride. He paid for our tickets, and we were on a car by ourselves in no time, the crowd nonexistent this evening. He sat across from me, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he flexed his hands. I was grinning from ear to ear, and he looked like he wanted to kill someone.

  “You’ve made your point,” he grated, and I knew it took a lot for him to admit that. If I’d been in his shoes, I doubted I would have.

  “I’m glad to know you’ve found your voice again. I was getting worried since you didn’t speak all day.” Now probably wasn’t the best time to be provoking him, but I couldn’t help myself. I reached in my purse for the camera. “Smile,” I instructed, snapping a picture of him. I thought he was going to lunge across the space between us and snatch the camera from me, but instead he gripped his thighs.

  I faced the view of the town and the lake below as we rose above it. I crooked my finger at him and slid over a little to make room for him on my side. I was surprised when he actually moved.

  The sun sank lower in the sky, making the scene picture perfect. I took his hand in mine and leaned my head against his shoulder. “What were you trying to accomplish? And don’t lie to me. You knew that wasn’t going to fly. You were already fucking whoever you wanted before you met me, so there was no reason to change anything if that’s all you wanted.”

  He let out a long breath. “You’re getting too close. Making me discuss things I don’t talk about with anyone. Things I don’t want to even think about anymore.”

  I lifted my head. “D, they’re on your mind whether I bring them up or not.”

  “I know.” He blinked at me, a vulnerability in his eyes that made my heart melt. “I hope I didn’t spoil your day.”

  “How could that possibly happen when I’m in New Zealand with you?” I smiled, and he gave me a tentative one in return, looking almost awestruck.

  “I’m an idiot for even asking this, but I’m a glutton for punishment,” he prefaced. “You’re not going to hold this over my head? Rub my face in it?”

  I stroked his cheek. “No. I knew you were up to something, so I had to make a point.”

  “Do not ever call another man handsome in my presence,” he warned.

  The possessiveness made me tingle all over. “Were you jealous?” I taunted. He made it so hard not to smile sometimes.

  “You already know I don’t do jealous,” he scoffed, denying it to the end.

  “I think you do.” I leaned in, my lips almost touching his ear. “Don’t worry. I know it’s only for me.”

  “Don’t put me in that position again.” God, when all that intensity was focused on me, it was hard to breathe.

  “I’m more than happy to oblige as long as you don’t force my hand again.” With that the air was cleared. “Guess this means we’re past our impasse.” This earned me his first real smile of the day. “Although I’m kinda coming around to seeing things your way. I get you and whoever else I want? That’s not such a bad deal.”

  His eyes turned ominous as I struggled to keep an innocent look on my face. Teasing him was just too easy.

  “No one else, Vivian. Only me.”

  I let out a heavy sigh. “If that’s the way it’s got to be—”

  “It is.”

  I grinned at him, and he scowled because I’d gotten my way again. “See? No one had to compromise. I know I’m the only one you have any interest in anyway,” I said confidently.

  He lifted his brow. “You sound pretty sure of yourself.”

  “I think you’ve given me plenty of reasons to be,” I said coyly, then hopped to my feet as the gondola arrived at the top of the mountain. “Let’s go check out the view.”

  “From where I’m sitting, the view’s pretty damn spectacular.” His eyes were ravenous as he drank me in from head to toe. I had on my holey jeans—which were freshly laundered—and a gray V-neck T-shirt from Target. Nothing to write home about. I didn’t think it would have mattered to him if I was in vintage Valentino. He wasn’t hiding his desire.

  I pulled him up, giving him a control yourself look before we stepped onto the platform. Hand in hand, we walked over to a viewing area that overlooked the town below. The sky was burnt orange as the sun set on another day. I snapped a few pictures, and we observed this daily ritual in silence. The lake had taken on an almost black hue as opposed to the navy it had had earlier. The mountains surrounding it still had a dusting of snow on their peaks, and I committed the scene to memory, one I could reflect on for the rest of my life.

  “I think your label is far better than conventional ones,” Daniel said, and I realized he’d had his eyes on me, not the view.

  I dumped the camera back into my purse and took both his hands in mine. “Everything,” I said with reverence.

  “Everything,” he repeated with equal respect. “Think you can handle that, Princess?”

  “Don’t worry about me. You just make sure you’re up to the challenge.”

  He pulled me flush against him, causing all the air to leave my lungs.

  His eyes glittered like polished stones as he looked down at me. “Promise you’ll give me all you’ve got.”

  I was mesmerized, locked in his gaze. “Only if you’ll do the same.”

  Something changed between us in that moment. This felt more real than anything I’d ever experienced. I wanted him. I wanted us. And it was happening.

  28

  Daniel

  Present

  I stared at the blue dot on my phone screen, annoyed that this was as close to Vivian as I could get now, annoyed that I’d been reduced to this: a man not so pissed off about the traffic out of the city because it allowed him to constantly watch a poor substitute for the real thing.

  Easing forward with little more than a glance, I willed the dot to move. The car in front of me stopped, and I pressed the brake. Damn my lawyer and the hoops I had to jump through. As if it weren’t aggravating enough that I had to go to him in Connecticut, this was our second attempt at this meeting, and whether his wife liked it or not, it was happening. If we’d met as originally scheduled, I could have been home by now giving Vivian’s whereabouts my full concentration instead of being stuck in this blasted car.

  I cursed when the phone vibrated and Vinny’s name popped up. It seemed like I was doing that a lot lately. “What?” I answered impatiently.

  “That’s no way to greet someone bearing good news,” he said.

  “If you’ve got any, it would be a first.” I was in a constant state of irritation when it came to Vinny.

  “Now, now. Let’s not be sharp-tongued.”

  I didn’t like his attitude, and a sense of foreboding came over me. “Then say something I want to hear,” I snapped.

  “I’ve got the jaune.”

  Fucking hell. We were preparing to facilitate the transfer between parties, so what was Vinny doing with it?

  “Congratulations. Now what are you going to do with it?” I queried, sounding bored.

  “Get it to your buyer.”

  “And when are you planning on doing this?”
r />   “As soon as you fucking set it up.”

  “I just don’t see that happening, Vinny.” I needed to find out how much more he knew. Donato and I never discussed specifics over the phone. I didn’t know how Vinny had gotten that diamond, wasn’t totally convinced he had it, and was even less sure he knew who wanted it.

  “Daniel, you have to get this to them.” His tone turned from cocky to borderline panicked.

  “Why would anyone ever give that to you without payment first?” We used to do these exchanges with bags of cash, but now we mostly did electronic transfers into untraceable bank accounts. The second we had the item in our hands was the second the seller got their money.

  “I lifted it.”

  “You what?” I growled, gripping the steering wheel with one hand until my knuckles turned white.

  “It’s all profit. For us.”

  I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. I prayed he was lying. Jesus Christ. A throbbing started in my temples. I’d made contact with the owner. I was facilitating the transaction. Now I was a marked man, because the owner of that diamond would not take this lightly. She had lots of contacts with my business associates. This could bury me both figuratively and literally.

  “What have you done?” I kept my voice low when what I really wanted to do was shout.

  “Made us a ton of money.”

  He wasn’t this stupid. He couldn’t be. There was more to his agenda. Vinny had done this to set me up. “Take it back.”

  “Why the fuck would I do that?” he asked incredulously.

  “Are you trying to get us killed?”

  “Not both of us.” An honest thief.

  “Do not do anything with that piece. Do you understand me?”

  “Just get me to the buyer.”

  “No.”

  I hung up, and the blue dot returned to the screen, but this time it didn’t comfort me. Vinny had put a target on my back. These people would use any means necessary to get to me, including putting those I loved in harm’s way.