Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “He learned about the potential arrest and used it to his advantage, but he didn’t start this.” The annoyance in his voice was contagious.

  “How did he find out?”

  “That’s a question I don’t know the answer to.” Donato cracked his neck on one side and then the other. “He’s been warned to stay the fuck on his side of the city.”

  My head lolled to the side, and I watched the buildings go by. Traffic was fairly light at this hour. I just wanted to go home, except I couldn’t really call it that anymore. My home was in a shithole apartment that didn’t even have a proper bedroom. She was probably sleeping on a worn-out sofa and living out of a suitcase. My phone pulsed in my pocket, begging for me to check that blue dot. I ignored it. I could wait until I had some privacy to check on her. After the night I’d had, I needed Vivian as much as I ever had. I wanted to get lost in her.

  But I couldn’t. This mess was just getting started. I wouldn’t be selfish when it came to her. At least knowing that she had a chance for something more than my dark world gave me a sense of peace.

  “Alvarez will stall as best he can,” Donato assured me.

  “Is he trustworthy?”

  “He’s done all he can to work with me over the years. There’s always the possibility that someday he won’t, but right now, we really don’t have a choice other than to trust him.”

  A roundabout answer for maybe. I hated relying on other people.

  I looked out the window again and registered where we had been heading. “What are we doing here?” The car turned down the side street next to Donato’s building and into the underground garage.

  “We’ve lots to plan. Namely your defense,” Zegas shot back.

  I wasn’t interested. “This has been fun gentleman, but I don’t need a defense. I’m going home. Both of you have better things to do, and I’ve got a charity event to prepare for.”

  When I’d asked Giselle to come with me to the Heart Ball, I hadn’t accounted for an arrest. Since I wasn’t in jail anymore, it was too late to cancel, though I wouldn’t even if I thought she’d understand. This was the way I paid tribute to my mother’s memory. If I was a no-show, somehow that would disappoint her. I couldn’t handle hurting anyone else I cared about.

  I ignored the strenuous protests that trailed after me as I got out of the car and went straight to the 57th Street subway station. Everything counted now, my time left as a free man limited. Glutton for punishment that I was, I had to do things where I felt close to Vivian. Riding the subway was just one of them.

  She’d be disappointed in me when she found out what I’d done, and that hurt. But I’d promised her from the very beginning that I’d fight for her. This was the only way I knew how.

  As I walked down the stairs into the bowels of Manhattan, a glimpse of glossy black hair flashed in the crowd in front of me. Vivian. I picked up my pace, shoving past people to catch up. She was always there when I needed her most. I was alive again just seeing her.

  Except as she stopped on the platform for the train, I realized my mind was playing tricks on me. The woman wasn’t my Vivian, didn’t really even look like her. I was a desperate man. Desperate and delusional.

  And as the train rumbled to a stop beside me, I accepted that fate.

  33

  Vivian

  Present

  “I can’t believe you’re living here again.” Muriella peered around the arsenal of beauty products in her arms to make sure she made it to the next step down the stairs of my apartment building.

  “Watch your step. This one’s loose,” I warned her.

  “This is not the place for you,” Muriella insisted, dodging the rickety wood.

  We made it to the bottom and burst through the front door. Stone jumped out of the waiting limousine.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you had all this shi—I mean, stuff?” He gave both of us a stern look. “I could’ve helped.”

  Without asking, he took the load from Muriella’s arms and piled it in the trunk.

  “Ready to do this?” he asked as he took my bags.

  “As I’ll ever be.” My stomach did a somersault at the prospect of seeing Daniel. So much was riding on this evening at the Heart Ball. Muriella had worked her magic, and now it was up to me and Stone.

  “Is that what it takes for you to look like that?” he asked when I climbed into the back seat. Muriella and I frowned. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  “It is for special occasions,” M huffed on my behalf.

  “So you don’t normally use all that stuff? Like on a daily basis?”

  I looked down at my aquamarine dress to see if I’d missed a flaw or something. “No.” I thought I looked damn good, but Stone wasn’t helping my confidence.

  “Then don’t bother with it anymore. You look stunning, but you always do.”

  “I was hoping to look better than usual.”

  A blush crept up Stone’s cheeks, and he reached for a tumbler filled with ice and whiskey, taking a sip. “He won’t be able to stay away. I guarantee that.” His assurance was good enough for me. “Did you use any of that?” His attention was on Muriella. She shook her head. “Which proves my point. Neither of you need any of it.”

  She blinked at him and then looked away, never one to readily accept compliments about her looks. She was beautiful, but I think she saw it as a curse instead of a blessing.

  I sensed her thoughts were in the same place mine were, and I couldn’t have that. No matter how much time passed, her wounds were still fresh. I took her hand in mine and leaned toward her.

  She backed away. “Don’t you dare think about smudging your lipstick,” she scolded sternly.

  “M, that’s why there’s a whole tube of it. To replace it when I do this.” I swiftly planted my lips on her cheek, leaving a Fabulous by Chanel outline on her skin. I laughed. She motioned for me to give her my clutch, then dug out the lipstick.

  “It’s a good thing I love you,” she said, as I puckered my lips for reapplication.

  When she finished, I said, “Come in with us. We can stop and pick up something for you to wear. Or just come in as you are.”

  “Not tonight. I’ll be at home, waiting for you.” She patted my leg as the car pulled to a stop in back of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “I’m furious with Daniel, but if he comes to his senses tonight, I might start to get over it. Go get him,” she said before turning to Stone. “And show us why you’ve won two Academy Awards.”

  “Daniel’s going to think Vivian and I are more in love than they ever were.”

  “Good. I expect updates.” She shooed us out of the car.

  I stuck my head back inside. “M, pack her shit up. I’m coming home.”

  “Damn right, you are.”

  I clutched my heart, and we beamed at each other until I closed the car door.

  Stone and I went in the back door instead of down the red carpet. He wasn’t here for publicity and kept his generosity to charities close to the vest. Stone wanted to help me, but he was also going to help a lot of children with their medical bills tonight. Perhaps even save some lives.

  I squeezed his arm. “Thank you for this.”

  “I’m doing it for Muriella.”

  I grinned at that. “Whatever I can do to help, I will. Just be gentle with her, okay?”

  “Do I have a chance?” he asked, showing a rare vulnerability.

  “If anyone does, it would be you. Just…don’t give up on her.”

  “I can’t.”

  The Heart Ball was in full swing when we arrived. A hostess led us to our table, which also happened to be Daniel’s. I was sure M had arranged that; she wasn’t leaving anything to chance tonight. Daniel and Giselle were already seated. She talked and he pretended to listen. To anyone else, he looked interested, but I knew him, had seen that expression countless times at functions such as this when he was stuck chatting with someone.

  Stone had taken my hand in his as we crossed the
room, and when the hostess ushered us to our chairs, Daniel’s eyes glinted in surprise. I didn’t miss the quick flick down to where Stone held my hand in his. But that was it. His stony expression gave nothing else away.

  The table seated eight, and before we sat we greeted the others, intentionally avoiding handshakes with Daniel and Giselle, saying polite hellos from across the table. Stone held out my chair for me, and I beamed up at him as he kissed my forehead. I wanted to check Daniel’s reaction but refrained, keeping my adoring focus on Stone.

  A waiter approached before we’d even settled in our seats. Stone ordered whiskey for himself and champagne for me. I was grateful I didn’t know any of the others at the table. That would have made it a little awkward since Daniel and I had always attended this event together. I didn’t ignore him, feeling that would be too obvious, though I pretended the woman next to me was fascinating.

  Actually, she was interesting. An older lady, whose husband seemed thrilled to be seated next to Giselle, rattled off story after story of Manhattan in the fifties.

  A few times, I let my gaze wander to Daniel, a jolt of giddiness running through me when, more often than not, his focus was on me. Stone was occupied in conversation with the gentleman next to him, but there wasn’t a moment when he wasn’t touching me. He’d whisper silly things in my ear, making me blush or giggle. We did a damn good job of pretending to be lovers, though I wondered if Daniel could see through it. Like I knew him, he knew me. Even though I cared for Stone, he wasn’t Daniel.

  After dinner, Stone excused us from the table, and we wandered through the items available in the silent auction. Neither of us put up a bid, eventually making our way to the donation table. A stab of nostalgia engulfed me as I asked for an envelope from the young lady seated behind the table.

  And damn me for being foolish, but I asked the girl if she had a larger envelope. She pulled out one about eight by ten in lavish silver. I opened my clutch, took out my phone, identification, and lipstick, and dumped the remaining contents in the envelope. I didn’t know exactly how much it was, though I wished it was more.

  Stone watched me in disbelief as I held the envelope flap to my mouth.

  “May I seal that for you?” My stomach flipped when I heard his voice, and I froze as I went back in a time warp to the first time I’d met Daniel.

  The only difference in him between this evening and the one so many years ago was the addition of a few distinguished gray hairs among the black and a few more lines around his eyes. He was still an angelic warrior.

  “No.” I found my spine and composure. Suddenly we were the only two people in the room. “Please pass the tape.”

  And there it was, the faintest pull upward on the corner of his mouth. I felt like I’d conquered Everest, but I held it inside. He picked up the fancy tape dispenser and held it for me as I tugged off a long strip. Once the envelope was sealed and inserted safely into the vault monitored by two security guards, I turned to Stone, who slid an arm around my waist. We stepped away from the table so others could make their donations.

  “Vivian, you’re one of a kind,” he said, kissing my temple. “And your mistake is my gain, Daniel.”

  “I can see that,” he said as if he didn’t give a fuck.

  That stung.

  God, how I’d missed him. Seeing him in a tailored tux, one hand in his pocket, wearing that badass look, like he knew something about everybody here they didn’t want him to know, turned me inside out. But I kept my expression cool as I leaned into Stone.

  “Never pictured you as one to move from one serious relationship to another,” Stone told him with a lift of his brow.

  Daniel remained impassive, his gaze on me. He so knew what we were up to, his eyes challenging me with you-can-do-better-than-this, V. “I’m happy the two of you have each other.” He continued playing along, ignoring Stone’s comment. “You’d better take care of her.”

  I felt another pang of hurt that he couldn’t even say my name.

  “I will.” Stone clapped Daniel on the shoulder in a platonic gesture. There was no tension between them, only some sort of male understanding. “Mind keeping Vivian company for a few minutes? I see someone I need to speak with.”

  “I don’t need a babysit—” Stone cut me off with a brush of his lips against mine, catching me off guard. They were the wrong lips.

  “I’d be happy to. Dance with me, Vivian?”

  I glared at him. This was the opportunity I’d hoped for, but I knew nothing good was going to come out of it. He was too damn stubborn. I nodded, my jaw set. “Don’t be long,” I said to Stone, keeping up pretenses.

  “I won’t be.”

  Daniel offered his hand to me, and I took it without thinking. Suddenly everything that was wrong felt right. He sensed it too. His fingers tightened around mine, and once we were on the dance floor, he effortlessly pulled me into his arms. It was where I belonged. How he could possibly believe otherwise was inconceivable to me.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  He had been angry with me only days ago, but there was no trace of that now. I lifted my chin. “Don’t insult me with small talk. We’ve never done it before, and we’re not doing it now.”

  He sighed, pulling me closer. “What the fuck are you doing, Vivian?” The question was spoken as softly as the last one, with no malice whatsoever. He sounded tired.

  “At the moment, I’m dancing with you.” It was a smart-ass response, which earned me an arched brow.

  “You know what I mean.”

  I gave him my sweetest smile. “No. I really don’t.”

  “All right, we’ll play it your way. Why are you living in that shithole when I bought you an apartment you loved?”

  I frowned. “How could I ‘love’ an apartment I’ve never seen?” I said, stiffening against him.

  “You picked it out. The one on Park.”

  “You told me that was an investment property,” I said, my voice rising. “And that was three months ago. You’ve been planning this for that long?” I could barely get any words out as realization dawned on me. I bit the inside of my cheek to detract from the pain in my chest. It didn’t work.

  I stared at the man I loved, struggling to keep the tears from falling. The vault was locked up tight, and the combination had changed. “You broke your promise.”

  “How so?”

  “You promised to fight for me, that you’d give me everything. But you didn’t. You’ve known for at least three months you were going to do this.” I stared at his chest, no longer able to stand looking into his eyes.

  He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I have never broken a promise to you. I—” He was interrupted by his phone vibrating between us. He hesitated over answering the call. I reached in his pocket and held out the phone. Daniel frowned at the caller ID but kept one arm around me as if he couldn’t let go. He steered me to the edge of the dance floor where there were hardly any guests.

  He took the call. “This had better be good.”

  I shivered at the threat in his voice. His eyes remained locked on me as he listened to whoever was on the other end. “Anything happens to her, and you die.” He stabbed the END button and dumped the phone back in his pocket.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing for you to worry about. I have to leave.”

  He started for the exit, but I grabbed his arm. “What’s happening to Muriella?”

  He froze. “Nothing is going to happen to her.”

  “I know that was about her.”

  “I got careless. One of my enemies said if I don’t do as he says, something ‘regrettable’ will happen to her.”

  A sick feeling took root in my stomach. “She said she was going straight home.” I blinked, panicked. “Go find Stone. I’ll call her.”

  He appeared to be about to argue, but I already had my phone out. “He claims to have her at the apartment.”

  I paled, and Daniel took off.

  The
phone rang and rang, eventually going to voicemail. No worries. Her cell phone wasn’t always glued to her hand. I dialed her apartment.

  The phone rang.

  Finally it went to voicemail. I ended the call and tried again.

  Daniel and Stone approached with wary eyes. I shook my head ruefully. “She’s not answering.”

  34

  Daniel

  Present

  I am going to kill that motherfucker.

  The thought was on replay in my head as I charged out of the Met, Vivian and Stone on my heels. I’d texted the driver to meet us out front. Vivian had her phone pressed to her ear, her face pale as she continued to call Muriella to no avail.

  If something happened to her, I’d never forgive myself. She should never have been in this position in the first goddamn place. But I’d put her there because of the past I couldn’t get away from. Now I was helpless in the back of a limousine, anticipating the worst. As if Muriella hadn’t suffered enough in her life—and it was happening again at my hands. She’d trusted me to take care of her, and I’d failed.

  I reached for Vivian’s hand, twining my fingers with hers while she dished out orders for Stone to call his driver. She hesitated only a moment, looking at our hands in wonder. I didn’t deserve it, but her touch was the only thing keeping me from completely losing my shit.

  “Don’t do that to yourself,” she said as if she were inside my head, where I was kicking my own ass.

  My other hand shook as I unlocked my phone and opened the tracking app. The blinking blue dot was Vivian, and I quickly toggled to Muriella. This wasn’t a hundred percent accurate, but it was close. According to it, she was at the apartment building. I just didn’t know if she was in her apartment or mine.

  I fired off a text to Donato demanding he meet us, as Stone wrapped up the call with his driver. I directed ours home.

  “The driver took her back to your place after he let us off,” Stone said to Vivian. “She ran up, then came back down with a suitcase. He dropped her off at her apartment. Saw her go into the building.”