The Hazing Tower

by Leland Roys

  Nikki’s hands shook as she pulled the cardboard back off. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous; this must just be a fairy tale that her mother had made up.

  It was harder than she expected to get it off. She pulled out her car keys and used them to force it open. The clock on the wall seemed to stop as she saw folded paper inside.

  She pulled it out and stared at her mother.

  “What is this?”

  “Nikki, Oh my dear. I am so sorry. I— ”

  “Yes, I am here, Mom.” She held her hand.

  “Don’t let them take you. I don’t know why... I forget.”

  Nikki helped her to get back into the bed. She looked completely exhausted. “Michelle, I want to sleep now.”

  She closed her eyes.

  Nikki walked over and closed the door, then sat back down and opened the folded paper.

  My sweet Nikki. If you are reading this, it means our plans did not work. Nikki, your father and I love you more than we can describe. You are our one and only world. You are sweeter than my apple pie.

  Nikki gasped. That was what her mother had always said to her as a child. The exact words. She started to feel dizzy.

  Angelique has a plan to move all of us to a safe place, out of the reach of these evil people. I am writing this if something goes wrong. Nikki, you need to find Angelique. She will explain everything. When you meet with her, please tell her that I forgive her. Tell her I can see into her heart; I know the person locked inside is not responsible for what has happened.

  Love, Mia

  “Michelle, can I have some water?” Susan asked softly.

  “Mom, it’s Nikki.”

  “Oh, Nikki! You came to visit me!”

  “Yes, Mom, can I ask you something?”

  “Anything, my dear.”

  “Can you draw me a picture of Angelique?”

  “Another one? She didn’t like my painting?”

  “Here? In the room?”

  “Of course! Next to the picture of you in the snow.”

  Nikki walked over to the picture of herself; next to it was a small black and white drawing of a beautiful woman. She looked back and her mother was sleeping. She removed the drawing from the wall and carefully put it in her purse.

  • • •

  Hopeless

  “Then why don’t you take her! If you are so sure of everything, you seem to know it all, bitch—”

  “I have two kids already, you know she doesn’t sleep, they said maybe an hour a night max. I can’t put my kids through that.”

  “Well, I have a life too! Why do I need a brat who can’t even sleep through the night! And at her age! You heard the social worker, foster care is a good option.”

  Nikki snapped out of the nightmare soaked in sweat. She could see her breath. She pulled the blanket over her face and Zoey rubbed soft fur along her arm. It was freezing. The super had turned off the heat again. How long had she been asleep? Maybe an hour? She started to cough and blood covered her shirt.

  “Shit!”

  She wouldn’t have time to call Dianne. It was over— it was over, even Zoey knew.

  Nikki pushed the blanket off and shivered in the stale cold air. Blood dripped down her mouth and she coughed up some more. She dragged herself to the kitchen and sat down by the wall.

  Zoey jumped on her lap. “Zoey, you don’t need to help me. It’s cold; go back to bed.” Zoey didn’t listen to her, and snuggled into her lap even more.

  Nikki felt along the wall for the seam. She found it and took the back of her gun and knocked as hard as she could on the wall. The drywall broke apart and revealed a small space. She pulled out the wooden box and set it on her lap.

  A tear rolled down her cheek as she opened it. Her diamond ring. Her engagement ring. It was all she had left. She shut the box and crawled across the floor to get the cage. Zoey was going to go crazy; she hated the cage. Nikki wouldn’t have the energy to chase Zoey around this time.

  She opened the cage door. Zoey didn’t run away at the sound like she usually did. She looked up at Nikki, walked into the cage, curled up and closed her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Zoey. You know it’s over. Dianne will treat you so well, you wait and see.”

  Looking around one last time. So much crap. All the stuff you think is important. It seemed to fade away now. None of it mattered anymore. She took the last needle; she would need it to make it down the stairs, one last time.

  A cab pulled up and she slid in with Zoey.

  “You don’t look so good.”

  And you do? She thought to herself.

  “Pawn shop, 8th Street, you know the one?”

  “Ya, ya, I know.”

  She looked out at the city streets. She used to love this crazy city. There was a time when she could feel its pulse, like it was alive. It just seemed sad now, almost as if it knew her time here was over. She saw a couple kissing as they flashed by. She coughed again and blood soaked her hand.

  “Hey! You, out! Out of my cab, junkie!”

  “I’m not a junkie, I’m sick.”

  He stopped so fast that she fell forward against the seat, smearing blood all over.

  “Out! Stupid crackheads—” He mumbled.

  She stumbled out of the cab holding Zoey in the cage as he sped off. She walked to the alley, sat down against the bricks and started to cry. Her hands were red with her blood. She pulled the cage close to her and stared at Zoey as her crying turned into sobbing. She thought about the note, and what her foster mother had said. She couldn’t even begin to understand what it all meant. And what did it matter? Her time here was over. Maybe she would see her mother soon. Just maybe she would have the chance to talk to her again, a different lifetime, a better life than this one.

  She reached into her coat and felt for her gun. It didn’t matter at this point. Dying in a filthy alley was still better than in a hospital bed. She figured death didn’t give you much choice of where or when. Maybe she could control the when. She looked at Zoey. Crazy hungry cat. She loved that cat. She started to unlatch the cage.

  “Nikki?” She heard a man’s voice. She looked up, her eyes were blurry with tears. She could see only shapes.

  “My God, is that you?” The man asked.

  She felt someone sit next to her. Then she saw him. It was homeless man, well, she never knew his name. He had been on the streets for years. Even back when she was a street cop he was here. She had brought him hot coffee a couple of times.

  “Hi, it’s me, yes.” Nikki replied.

  “What’s happened to you, girl?”

  “I’m dying.”

  “Shit. That sucks. Not fair it isn’t, not a nice girl like you.”

  He pulled a huge trench coat over her and Zoey. “You’re cold as ice, girl. This coat’s dirty as hell, but it’s warm.”

  “Thanks. Hey I never got your name, you know back when I was a beat cop and all.”

  “Bill. And you were always good to me. You never looked at me like I was dirt. Like everyone else does.”

  She smiled. She never thought she was better than anyone else.

  “That your cat?”

  “Ya, Zoey,” She tried to stop crying. “I was going to drop her off, at a friend’s house. The cabbie kicked me out, called me a crackhead.”

  “Forget him! You wait here girl. Today I help you.” He left the warm coat on her and was gone. She saw him talking to a guy at the corner. The man pulled out a cell phone and started to make a call.

  He walked back to her. “Give me your hand. Let me help you up. Can you walk?”

  “A little.”

  He lifted her up; he was actually a lot stronger than he looked. “Sorry, I know I stink.”

  “You don’t stink. Look at me, I’ve got blood all over me; I’m not contagious, you know.”

  “My dear girl, you think I care? Did you forget I was in Iraq? I saw more blood than this whole city could hold.”

  A cab pulled up right next to them and screeched
to a stop. The driver jumped out and opened the door.

  “Nikki, this is my friend from way back, from the war. He will take you wherever you want. No cost, this one is on me, girl.”

  She was speechless. She hugged him as hard as she could and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Bill. You are a kind person.”

  “Aww— don’t be getting all crazy on me now. You do what you have to do, make it right. I will see you in heaven, OK? Bet on it!”

  She sat inside and the driver softly closed the door.

  “Anywhere you want, like the man said. You just say the word and you are there.”

  “Thank you. She gave him the pawn shop address and they were off.”

  They pulled up at the shop. She started to open the door when she coughed up more blood. “Fuck it!” she said out loud.

  “Hey, miss. You don’t want to go in there like that. They will con the hell out of you. They can smell desperation a mile away.”

  He was right, of course. They would give her nothing for the ring; they would smell her weakness like a panther stalking its prey.

  She pulled out the box and opened it, handed it to him. “Will you sell this for me?”

  His eyes opened wide. “You trust me with that!? Damn girl, are you crazy?”

  “I trust you.”

  His eyes softened, he looked sad now.

  “Sure. I will get you a good price. I will leave the engine running, it’s cold out.”

  She put her head down and tried to think. Zoey purred softly. The warmth felt good. It was getting closer now. She could feel it. It was a weird sensation.

  He jumped back inside the cab and handed her an envelope. “I didn’t take any, it’s all there.”

  “I know you didn’t. I really do trust you.”

  “Ya, you might be crazy, but Bill is right, You are top notch, girl, one of the few good ones. And trust me, I’ve seen the bad.”

  So have I, she thought to herself.

  “Next stop?”

  She gave him Dianne’s address and they were on the road.

  They stopped down the block from Dianne’s house. Close enough that Nikki could see, but not be seen. She waited while the driver quickly dropped Zoey’s cage and the envelope of cash on her doorstep. And one other thing; the file on mystery man. He rang the bell and ran.

  She watched. She teared up at the sight of Dianne. She wanted so badly to say goodbye. But not like this, not covered in her own blood.

  Dianne looked around and then down at Zoey. She picked the envelope off the top of the cage and opened it. She could see her say something, but couldn’t hear. She went back inside with Zoey.

  The driver jumped back into the car. “We good?”

  “Yep.”

  “Next stop?”

  She handed him a note with the directions.

  “Way out there? You sure?”

  She nodded.

  They drove to a remote part of the city. Well, it wasn’t really part of the city itself. Mostly abandoned buildings and burnt-out cars.

  “You gonna be safe out here by yourself? No one comes out here anymore.”

  “I will be fine. Someone is meeting me here later.”

  “Out here? OK. No questions.” He smiled and helped her out of the cab.

  “Thank you for taking me all over the city.”

  “My pleasure,” he hesitated and then slowly drove off.

  • • •

  The Hazing Tower

  It was dead quiet after the cabbie left, with only the sound of the wind picking up. The sky was starting to take on that scary green tint when a big storm is on its way.

  The thunder rumbled as Nikki walked to the building. She remembered this long-abandoned building well, the Hazing Tower, as the rescue crews called it. She had been here many times. She used to practice alone out here, with her cable. That seemed so long ago now. Rescue would bring new recruits here to simulate situations, some of them just to scare the newbies. Nikki had never been scared. She passed every one of their tests and more. She figured she was the only one who actually used to practice on her own out here.

  She checked her phone — no service.

  Alex. She couldn’t help thinking about him as she made it to the top floor. Maybe Dianne would follow up, solve the mystery. Nikki loved mysteries. At one point she thought she would make a good detective, even taking the test and all. But life took her on a different path. And now this.

  She remembered his face, his eyes. He seemed kind. Not so many people like that anymore. She had met a few today. She would miss those people. Alex. She said it out loud. The top level had an old penthouse that was still in fairly good condition after all these years. It even had furniture, almost like the room had been sealed in time. She pushed open the old door. The wind was stronger now; it probably wouldn’t be long before the rain started.

  She took off her shoes and walked to the ledge. The wind started to really howl now. For the first time, she finally understood. How many hundreds of times had she stood on other ledges, trying to understand what went through the minds of people before they jumped? She thought she knew. She had been wrong.

  It wasn’t a rush. It wasn’t a sense of relief or happiness. It was the end. It felt empty, hollow. She had nothing; no one loved her. No children, no husband. This is what they felt. Hopeless. Tears rolled down her face as the reality set in, the reality that so many others had come to understand as they stood at the edge. She was a jumper now. She was one of them, and no one would be here to rescue her tonight.

  Hopeless.

  The wind seemed like a hurricane now. Why was she hesitating? Her life was already over. She took the step.

  “Nikki, not now. I can help you!”

  He held her wrist hard. It felt like a metal vice.

  “Alex? What the hell! Where did you come from?” The storm was getting louder and it started to rain. She could feel the sting of the cold water on her skin.

  “I saw you! Your picture. I mean, it must be your relative? Sixty-eight years ago! You were never on the squad. Just let me go. Please, let go of my arm.”

  “Nikki, let me explain. I have so much I want to tell you. Will you give me that chance? Just for a moment in time — that’s all I ask.”

  Her whole body was covered in goose bumps now; the rain was turning into ice.

  “Who are you? How did you find me here?” She wondered if this was the drugs. How could he be here? It wasn’t possible.

  Before he could answer, a huge gust of wind grasped the two of them, dragging her face forward off the ledge. She felt herself swinging. SMACK! She hit the side of the building hard. She heard her arm crack. She was dangling. Alex somehow was holding onto the ledge with one hand, while the other gripped her arm. As she looked up, the rain soaked her face and blurred her eyes.

  “Alex! Let go! Let me go or we both fall! Damn you! Let me go! I’m already dead, don’t you get it? I’m dying!”

  She felt her body being pulled up. It couldn’t be; even a strong man wouldn’t have the strength, let alone one in his precarious position. She saw fear in his eyes — not for his own life, but for hers.

  The rain became a raging storm, pelting her like small bullets.

  “Grab it! Grab the ledge, Nikki!”

  She took hold of the ledge and he somehow pushed her up. She lay on her side, completely drenched. He was farther below her than she expected. What had she done? “Alex! Grab my hand, grab it now!” She could see his hand slipping as the rain turned the surface into slick ice.

  Then he was gone.

  “No! God, no!”

  She tried to stand up, but the wind and rain made it impossible. She looked down and saw only black. She blinked her eyes and tried to refocus. Blue, green, colors like a rainbow. She must be hallucinating. Her skin felt electrified. The air below turned bright red. BOOM! The blast was enormous. She was blown backwards through the penthouse window as all the glass shattered around her. She found herself lying flat on her back,
covered in glass. Again — CRACK! Like a sonic boom she had heard as a child at an air show. The plaster in the room covered her face in a white dust.

  She stared up at the ceiling. White plaster fell like a soft snow. It became so quiet, or maybe just she had lost her hearing.

  Alex had just died trying to save her. She started to cry. She stumbled to her feet, but fell back. Glass was everywhere, cutting her hands, digging into her skin. She crawled to the door and grabbed the rail. She saw shapes, only blurry shapes. Her vision was all messed up.

  She grabbed the stair rail and started the long trip down. Her left arm was broken, she was sure. She was on so many painkillers she didn’t even feel it, but she knew, and the painkillers were already wearing off. It seemed a lifetime passed by the time she reached the ground floor.

  She pushed her way outside. It was a driving rain, and the wind was incredible. Walking to the center of the street she dropped down and looked up. He would have fallen here. He must have—

  The glare of car headlights lit up the street. She turned and was inches from the front of a car. It must have almost run her down. She felt herself being lifted up. She still couldn’t see well; the drugs were wearing off and the pain was incredible.

  She was in a car. It was warm; the rain was gone. But the pain was so intense and she blacked out.

  It was suddenly light again. She slightly opened her eyes and saw him. Alex! They were in his car? She tried to move, nothing. The pain screamed at her like an angry animal. He looked sad; she could see it in his eyes. Then she saw the syringe he was holding. His nose was bleeding; he was hurt.

  “Alex, is that you?”