Gorgeous Gyno

by Karen Deen

  “Until now. Until you.”

  He then moves slightly closer, testing the waters with me. My arms are still crossed so he isn’t wanting to set off the firecracker.

  “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, little one?” He slides a little closer again, taking a piece of stray hair and tucking it behind my ear. “Let me know what you need to say, let it out.”

  Deep down, I know he just wouldn’t be that kind of guy. The last few weeks he has been with me, I can feel what he’s feeling. It’s not fake. It’s so real. I need to trust what I’ve been feeling and let him in. I slowly lower my arms by my sides, and he reaches out softly and pulls me into his arms. Wrapping me tightly with my head on his chest. Right where I can hear his heart beating. That feeling of home tells me that trusting him is the right thing.

  “Who hurt you, little one? Who took away your trust? There’s more to this than Kitty.”

  I know I need to tell him, but I don’t know if I can tell him it all. “Henry.” I pause as the hurt surfaces again. “Henry Porter,” I whisper.

  “Do you want to do this here? We can wait until we’re at home?” I shake my head no. I need to tell him now so I can bury it again.

  “He broke my heart. We had been together for a few years after high school. I wanted to move to the city with Fleur, start out business. He kept saying no. So, we kept putting it off. Until we both knew it was now or never. I told him to come with us, but he wouldn’t leave Williamstown. I promised to go back on weekends, and we would do long distance. He said he wanted that. Jerk even said when I’ve finished playing with my friend in the city then I can come home to stay. I should have told him to fuck off then.” I pause taking in a few breaths to keep me calm.

  “When we got here, things were crazy trying to get the office, find work etcetera. It took a few weeks before I got back home. I felt bad so turned up for a surprise visit. Only Mom knew I was coming.” I can still picture the look on his face when I walked into our apartment we’d been sharing above the garage where he worked. It was just one big room so when you opened the front door you could see everything, including him fucking Lucy Olson on our bed with her wearing a pair of my shoes I’d left behind.

  The tears started to slide down my face.

  “You don’t need to say it, Tilly. I can guess where this is going. You found him with another woman.”

  The loud sob escaped my body, pulling out pain that had been buried for a very long time.

  “Beautiful, I’m so sorry. I will never do that to you. I promise you. You can trust me. Please tell me you know you can trust me.” Deep down I know I can, but once you’ve been burnt, there’s always that niggle that will haunt you. I can’t tell him that, so I just nod my head and try to calm myself down. I really need to be pulled together before I can tell him the rest.

  “I’m so mad at Kitty for making you feel like this. I should have put a stop to it a long time ago,” he mumbles into the top of my head when he kisses me.

  “She’s a bitch. I hate her already and I don’t hate many people. But I swear if she touches you again, I don’t care about the contract. She and I will be having words. I shared a guy once and didn’t even know it. I definitely won’t be doing it again.”

  “I’m not him. I will never touch another woman while I’m with you. I don’t share. Ever!” I can see he’s getting wound up a little.

  Then his phone goes off, and I know the rest of the story will have to wait.

  “Fuck.” He grabs his phone on his desk.

  “Yep. On my way, will be scrubbed in within five minutes.” Dr. Gray is in the room.

  “Fuck, Tilly I have to run. Stay, wait for me. I’m so sorry, this is an emergency. Fuck.” He’s running his hands through his hair as he takes off out the door, and I hear him running down the corridor. I’m really starting to understand how intense his life is.

  I can see where the comedy and cockiness in him comes from now. It’s the barrier that protects him from this.

  From the life and death.

  The memories and the pain.

  The helplessness.

  From the love and the loss.

  Can I be the person to help him with that? I just don’t know.

  My life is always controlled, planned, and calm. Sure, chaos happens in my work life, but my job is to solve and fix it. Grayson’s chaos can’t be fixed, his life is designed around chaos. Can it even be controlled? I have no concept. Will I cope with something I have no control over? I have no idea. They say opposites attract, and in so many ways we are. I’m so scared of having my heart broken again that part of me is thinking I’m just finding reasons to end this before it really begins.

  Truth is, I feel more for Grayson than I have ever felt for another man. Even the man I thought broke my heart all those years ago. Looking back, that’s nothing to what I would feel if Grayson hurt me now.

  Today with Kitty just has me thinking. How badly do I want this? How hard am I prepared to fight for him? I could sit here and continue crying, waiting for Grayson to comfort me like he asked. Or I can be the strong woman I have become in the last seven years, get up and get on with my day.

  Nothing that bitch can say or do is going to wreck what I feel.

  This time I’m not running, I’m going to stand up and hang on to what is mine.

  Put this on your list Grayson – You’re the first man I will fight for!

  Chapter Fifteen

  GRAYSON

  Exactly like I told her.

  There will be times being called on as a doctor will interrupt something major. Like now.

  Running down the corridor to surgery to scrub in for an operation, and all I can think about is the beautiful woman I’ve left in my office having just fallen apart.

  Standing there crying, hurt and confused as to what happened in the conference room. For the first time ever that I can remember, I wanted to ignore that pager on my phone.

  Once I heard the case, I knew I couldn’t wait, lives depend on me. The doctor in me just kicked into my normal routine. I need to block out thinking about Tilly, as hard as that is, as I scrub up for the emergency C-section of a mother with twins, where one twin is in fetal distress. It’s go time, as I push into the operating room trying to appear calm and take command of the room.

  Mom is being anesthetized as there is no time for the epidural to kick in.

  “We will get this done as quick as we can, Dad. You will be holding your babies and smiling with your wife before you know it.” As much as I’m trying to reassure him, he looks terrified.

  Luckily the babies are thirty-seven weeks, so as long as we get them stable after being born, there is no reason why they won’t be on a normal ward within twenty-four hours.

  “Let’s get started, everyone, so we can bring these little babies into the world.”

  Everyone takes their position as we make the first incision. No matter how many times I do this, I still hold my breath every single time, hoping that I get it right.

  Standing in the room with Mom who’s still groggy but getting her first cuddle of her twin boys is the ending to an intense hour in all our lives. The adrenaline is starting to calm, and I just want to get out of here and back to my office to Tilly. I hope she just closed the door and curled up on my couch, waiting for me to come back and make it better. Reality is I doubt she’ll be there. Either way, I want to get back there to find out.

  Turning the handle and finding it locked is not a good sign. I can feel it, before I even unlock the door. She’s gone. I’m still on shift so I can’t go after her, and I know she’s working tonight. I need to hear her voice.

  To know she’s alright. That we are alright.

  Then I will deal with Kitty once and for all. To hell with the repercussions. I won’t have Tilly treated like that by anyone. I’m not hiding her. I want the world to know that Dr. Grayson Garrett is off the market, for good.

  “Over there, Stuart. Hi, Gray, sorry, busy setting up a fun
ction.” Her voice tells me that the confident, professional Matilda is back.

  “Sorry, I know you’re busy. I just need to know you’re okay. To hear your voice.” I stare out the window of my office at the outside world, that at times feels like it is so far away from the bubble of the hospital.

  Her voice is a little quieter this time.

  “Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ve pulled myself together.” Sighing. “Grayson?”

  “Yeah, baby?” I want to reach down the phone and touch her.

  “I’m sorry I overreacted today. It took me back to a place I promised I would never go again. But I’m okay.” Her voice tells me she isn’t, but neither of us can do anything about that today and I know she needs to be on the ball at work.

  “Tilly, you don’t need to apologize for anything. Well, maybe the blue balls in the hospital room earlier today, but I’m sure you’ll help fix that soon.” She has a quiet giggle. “You told me to save it for later, baby, and he’s still waiting.”

  “So bad. We always end up back here.” Tilly’s voice sounds just a little lighter now. “I have to go, Gray.” She might be happier, but the goodbye is still hard.

  “Okay, but what time will you finish tonight? Can I come to see you after my shift?” I just want to hold her.

  “I’ll be exhausted and so will you. Tomorrow night is our date. Let me miss you before then. I’m looking forward to it. You better make it impressive; I’ve been working hard on mine.”

  “That’s not the answer I wanted, but I don’t have a choice. I’ll give your condolences at the funeral of my blue balls.” We both have a little laugh together. “Just so you know—because you seem to be a poor listener—I excel at all things, little one. Including dates for my girlfriend. You better hang on to your lace panties – yes, that is a hint – and you will receive further instructions tomorrow. Go and be the super boss and kick some ass. I’ll call later to say goodnight if I can.”

  “Now I can’t wait. I really need to go. Talk soon.” She goes to hang up and stops. “Gray, thank you for being you. You have no idea how special you are. Bye.” With that, she’s gone. Not even giving me the chance to talk. In a way it’s probably better. I was getting close to blurting out words that she should never hear for the first time on a phone call. I have a feeling it won’t be long, and she will be adding that to her list of firsts.

  The rest of the night shift is quiet which is just as I was hoping. I spend a few hours in my office catching up on patient reports that needed to be done. I haven’t seen Tate since this afternoon at the end of the disaster presentation meeting, so I send him a message to let him know I’m in my office if he’s having a quiet night too. It’s the sort of thing you do wish for as a doctor, to be bored on shift. Because it means no one is seriously sick.

  Reviewing scans that have to be done today, I hear my door open and look up to Tate walking in with food.

  “Oh god, you must have read my mind. I’m starving but couldn’t be fucked to do the order.” I get up and walk over to the couch where he has placed the bags on the coffee table.

  “See, that’s your problem. There are plenty of nurses who will do anything I ask if I just use the old McIntyre charm. Including place my order, take delivery, and bring it to me.”

  “Christ, do they want to eat it for you too?” I laugh as I drag out a satay chicken that will do me just nicely for my belated dinner.

  “No, see, the clue is they want to eat me. They will do anything, poor little souls. They just want a go with the man that is well-known as the best in town.” Tate settles back with his beef curry.

  “Tilly thinks I have a big ego. She obviously hasn’t met yours yet.” I just laugh and shake my head.

  We eat while dinner is hot, plus you learn as a doctor when you order food, eat it straight away. You never know when you’ll get called away and for how long.

  “Is Matilda okay now?” Tate asks as he places his empty food container on the table.

  “I’ll say yes, but I haven’t seen her to confirm properly. We were in the middle of an intense discussion when I got paged for an emergency C-section. She understands, but the timing sucked, big time. I wanted her to wait but she had another job tonight. I’ve spoken to her but until I see her, I’m not entirely convinced.”

  “What the fuck was up with Kitty, though. That was a load of bullshit. We all know she thinks you’re hers, but to be honest I thought it was a bit of a joke. After today, I’m convinced that to her, she believes every bit of it. You need to be careful, buddy.” Tate is now leaning back on my couch with his head laying back like he’s taking a little time out.

  “I just ignored it because there was no one to care anyway. But now it needs to stop. The thing that worries me is how much power she has. She can make life hell for me and for Tilly and Fleur.” The day is catching up with me too. I lay back like Tate and close my eyes for just a minute.

  His speech a bit slurred like he’s trying to fight sleep, Tate keeps his eyes closed as he gives me something to think about.

  “You know how to stop her. Make a big grand public gesture to let the world know you’re with Matilda. The foundation dinner will be perfect, because the board is there and so is Kitty. Worth a try,” he mumbles, and I’m sure he’s now already asleep. We both have pagers set up on our phone so we’re still reachable no matter where we are. I’ve never slept through a page yet, not even when I’m in a deep sleep. My body knows that sound, and I can be awake in a matter of seconds and dealing with the issue. You learn to power nap at times to just top up after an intense surgery or after a busy shift. The adrenaline high needed in the peak of an emergency also has the low that follows which makes you tired. That’s why the twenty minutes of power nap can be enough to recharge you.

  That is, of course, until the phone goes, and the cycle starts all over again. This time it’s a car accident, multiple victims, and one of them is a pregnant woman who needs assessing. Even though I’m not rostered on to emergency, Tate’s phone was enough to have me awake.

  I decide to join him to see if I can help at all.

  As we reach the ER, there’s a lot of noise, crying, screaming from the casualties, and yelling from the ER team. Tate is straight into room four where he is being directed to a patient with a head injury. I stand at the desk assessing the situation, waiting to see if I’m called.

  The next ambulance comes through the door with a young lady holding her stomach and looking very frightened. She’s looking behind her where I see her partner carrying a little boy, trying to keep up, and that’s when he looks up and I recognize him.

  “TJ, isn’t it? You work for Matilda. What happened?”

  “Dr. Garrett, please help Talesha. Please, her stomach hurts. The seatbelt hurt her in the accident. Plus, we’re not sure, but we think she might be pregnant. She’s been later with her period and we have just done the urine test but nothing else. One was positive and one was negative. So we don’t know. Please, she needs to be okay.” The emergency ob-gyn is already seeing to the known-pregnant woman who was in the accident. There were multiple cars involved so there are ambulances coming in behind us.

  “Trauma room six,” I tell the paramedic “Susy, I’ve got this one in six, possible abdominal injuries and potential pregnancy.” I put my hand on the back of TJ and push him towards the room. “Let’s go. I’ve got this, TJ, I’ll look after her and the baby if there is one hiding in there.” With that, the time to talk is finished, and I’m assessing Talesha who is in a lot of pain. I order blood work and the ultrasound machine. At least that way while I’m waiting on blood, I can see if we have a little peanut in there or any internal bleeding.

  As I’m palpating her abdomen, she’s trying to be brave in front of her son but there are tears. TJ is pacing behind me and his little boy is tired and sleepy but very confused about all the noise and what is going on with his mommy.

  “Tell me what happened tonight,” I ask to help me understand what she
’s been through. Talesha starts to try to answer, but each time I touch her it’s difficult so TJ steps in.

  “I had just finished work with Matilda, and Talesha was picking me up. Lewis was asleep in the car. We started to head home and then from nowhere the car in front of us was hit from the side by a car that ran a red light. That pushed him into us and then we were hit from behind too. Lewis and I are fine, just a little shaken, but the steering wheel pushed back and hit her in the stomach as well as the seatbelt pulling on her. We could barely get her out. Is she going to be okay? God, please, is she alright?”

  From what I can feel, I think it’s just bruising, but until I can see what we have inside, I don’t want to get his hopes up.

  “We will know soon enough. Now why don’t you take a seat and take a few deep breaths. Do you want to call anyone to come and help you with the little one?”

  He shakes his head at me sadly. “No, it’s just us. Our little family.” Talesha puts out her hand to take his. The love between these two young people is more than I see in some couples twice their age.

  “Well, let’s see if we’re going to grow this little family or not. Sit and try to relax a little and let’s hook up this ultrasound and do a scan to see what we can find.” I’m not sure what they want the answer to be, but we are about to find out.

  Modern technology still always amazes me, even though I use it and experience it every day. In such early days of a pregnancy, it’s hard to see the fetus on an ultrasound. If this doesn’t show anything, we may have to do an internal one, but let’s see what we get here first. Running the scan over her organs, there are positive signs there’s no internal bleeding. The pain is probably just bruising and the muscles from tensing up for impact, which will be sore for a while. She’s only tiny so not too much fat stores to protect her.

  As I slowly move the wand across her uterus, I find what I suspected. A little peanut who is nicely cushioned inside Mom and protected from what has just happened. Instead of saying anything, I turn on the sound and pick up the faint heartbeat. My guess is she is about eight to nine weeks, maybe even ten weeks.