Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

  She stood. “I can see why he felt the need for outside counsel. When can I have the paperwork?”

  I rose from my chair. “Why do you say that?”

  “Your client is the hospital, so your representation of the staff only goes so far. You may need a scapegoat, and Dr. Foster is the obvious choice.”

  I hated that she was right.

  “I too will represent my client, and turn around is fair play, is it not?” she said, quirking a brow.

  That made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted to tell her that I thought Nick and the hospital weren’t negligent, but knew I couldn’t without potentially hurting the hospital. “I’ll arrange to get those documents now.”

  Once she left, I wanted to run down to the ER and talk to Nick about it, not as a lawyer but as a friend. As someone who cared about him. I hated that I couldn’t do that. I suppose he was right in that my job was keeping a wedge between us. I was choosing work over him, but it wasn’t like he and I were in love. He’d choose his career too. I didn’t see him quitting to be with me.

  I shook my head wondering why I was even thinking that. Sure, we had sex a couple of times, but sex wasn’t love. In fact, in his case, it was just a means to forget bad thoughts. I was a tool.

  Now annoyed at myself, I pushed away thoughts of Nick and this case, and dove into my job. After work, I went to the grocery store to pick up some food for dinner and then drove to my dad’s house.

  “There’s my girl,” he said, although it didn’t have the same oomph behind it.

  “Are you feeling okay, Dad?” I asked as I carried the bags of groceries into the kitchen.

  “Oh sure. What did you bring?”

  “I’m going to make pasta. And after dinner, I got us some fancy ice cream.”

  “Can we have ice cream for dinner.” His eyes twinkled.

  “I believe the answer is no. At least that’s what you always told me and Eli when we were growing up.”

  Forty minutes later, I sat at the table with my dad, and Eli had shown up as well. It was the first time we’d sat and eaten as a family in a long time. The situation was bittersweet. It was wonderful to be with them, and yet my mom’s empty seat was a painful reminder of our loss.

  Dad was eating slow, and a few times, seemed to have trouble with it.

  “What’s wrong, Dad? You don’t like the pasta?” I asked him.

  “It’s delicious honey. Just having some trouble getting food down today.”

  I looked at Eli, as worry crept up my spine.

  “We should get you to the doctor,” Eli said.

  “What for? He’ll just say it’s part of the disease,” my dad said.

  “Maybe there’s something that will help.” The idea that he wouldn’t be able to eat scared me. “You need your nourishment to stay strong.”

  He took another bite, larger than he should have probably to prove to Eli and I that he was okay. But he choked, and spit the food out.

  “We need to go to the hospital,” Eli said.

  “No.” My father slapped his hand on the table. “I’m not going there.”

  “Dad, you need medical attention,” I said, for once in agreement with Eli.

  My father shook his head. “I’m not going. Call Nick if you think someone should check me out.”

  “That quack?” Eli scoffed.

  “He’s not a quack, Eli.” My father’s voice, while weak, didn’t hide his annoyance.

  “I’ll call him,” I said pulling at my phone and wondering if he was off yet.

  “He won’t come. He wouldn’t treat mom, he’s not going to treat Dad,” Eli said. “Call Dr. Balding.”

  “Nick,” my father said.

  I gave my brother a look that said we should do what Dad wants. What he wanted surprised me. At how adamant he was about the doctor who checked him be Nick.

  “It’s his voicemail,” I said when Nick’s voicemail picked up. I wondered if he was working or just screening his calls, and not picking up mine. “Hi Nick, it’s Mia. My dad is having a difficult time eating, and we think he should see a doctor. He insists it be you. Can you come over?”

  “I’m going to watch TV.” My dad rose from his chair, but wobbled some.

  “Let me help you, Dad,” Eli jumped up and escorted my dad to his chair and handed him the remote. Then he came to the kitchen where I was doing the dishes.

  “What do we do if Nick doesn’t come?” I asked him.

  “We take him to the hospital. I think we should do that anyway.”

  “We need to respect Dad’s wishes, Eli. He won’t like it if we just take over.” I handed him a pot.

  He picked up a towel to start drying the pot. “He’s sick, Mia. We need to take over.”

  “Not now. Not this,” I said.

  “How do you know? Whatever is going on could be serious.”

  “Let’s just see if Nick shows up.”

  Eli sneered but didn’t reply.

  We’d finished the dishes and I was scooping ice cream I hoped my father would be able to eat, when there was a knock on the door.

  I looked at Eli. “I hope that’s Nick.”

  Eli’s response was to scowl.

  We headed to the living area to get the door, but Dad had beaten us to it.

  “Jim, everything all right?” Nick asked. His gaze drifted to me and then Eli, before returning to my father.

  “Fine, fine. Mia and Eli just worry.”

  “I brought my bag just in case.” Nick held up his medical bag.

  “Pah, I don’t need that. Come in. I was watching a show on snakes.”

  Nick followed my father into the house. “I saw a king snake the other day on run I took. It was a big mother fucker.”

  My eyes widened at Nick’s words. Eli’s brows narrowed.

  “I wonder if it was George. I had a king snake that lived out back for years. He had to have been five or six feet.”

  “You named it George?” Nick asked as he gently helped my father into his chair.

  “Yep, after King George. The mad king.”

  Nick laughed as he stepped into the dining area, grabbed a chair, and then put it in front of where my dad sat. “Let me take a quick look at you, Jim.”

  “I told them I don’t need a doctor.”

  Nick smiled affably. “But I’m here. And what are the odds they’ll haul you off to the ER if I don’t see you?”

  “I’ll take him anyway. I don’t trust you, Nick,” Eli said.

  Nick flinched slightly, but he kept his attention on my dad.

  “Oh, all right,” my dad acquiesced. “But make it quick. My ice cream is melting.”

  With gentle hands and demeanor, Nick checked my father, taking his blood pressure and temperature, and then doing a variety of tests, one of which included having his ice cream.

  “So, what’s the verdict, doc?” my father said. “Let me guess. Parkinson’s.”

  Nick, sitting back in the chair, nodded. “Yes. It appears to be a progression of the disease, but you need to see your doctor, Jim. The difficulty swallowing is common, but as you can imagine, it’s also a big problem.”

  “Are they going to put a tube in me?”

  My heart broke for my father.

  “Eventually,” Nick said it softly, but it was clear he was being brutally honest. “You should start thinking about having home help—”

  “I don’t need that. My kids are here—”

  “Jim.” Nick put his hand on my father’s thigh. “I know they’re here and that they want to help you, but both of them work. You’re going to be more susceptible to falling, and if you have difficulty swallowing, you’ll be eating less, which means you’ll be weaker. Having a person around will help you and keep you safe.”

  “I’m not an invalid.”

  It was the first time I saw my father not able to turn something around into a positive.

  “I know you feel like your body is betraying you. It is. But your mind is sharp, Jim. There’s still a lot
of living to do. In fact, I’ve been looking into you and me going to San Diego to see the bongos.”

  “What the hell?” Eli said.

  Like Eli, I was confused. Nick seemed to have a familiarity with my father that went beyond the norm. Sure, Nick had known my father all his life, but that was in the context of being Eli’s friend. They weren’t friends anymore, but Nick seemed quite close to my father.

  “You’re sure they’ve got a bongo?” my father asked.

  Nick nodded. “Yep. We could fly down, visit my folks. I know they’d like to see you.”

  My father’s face lit up. When Eli started to say something, I squeezed his arm hard to stop him, and shook my head. I didn’t care if Eli hated Nick. They could have their feud elsewhere. I wasn’t going to let Eli take a moment of happiness from my father.

  “I’ll set it up,” Nick said standing.

  “Will you stay?” my father asked. “Mia got us ice cream.”

  Nick cast a glance at me and Eli. “Sorry, Jim. I’ve got a hot date tonight.”

  My gut flared with jealousy. It was probably that gorgeous attorney.

  “Far be it to get in the way of love.” My father held his hand out.

  Nick took it, and squeezed. “I’ll check on you tomorrow. And I’ll make those plans to see the bongos. Turns out I might have a lot of extra time on my hands soon.”

  “Pah. You’ll be fine. Everyone knows you’re a great doctor.”

  “Quack,” my brother said under his breath.

  “I’ll walk you out,” I said to Nick.

  Eli came with us as I showed Nick to the door.

  “I meant it about starting to look for more help, especially when you’re gone during the day,” Nick said as we reached the door.

  “I’m not listening to you,” Eli said. “You’re an asshole. You hurt my sister—”

  “I don’t know what she told you, but she left me, Eli.” He shook his head, and glared at us like he was done with it. Done with me and Eli. In his eyes, I felt like he was saying our father deserved better.

  “And stay away from my father,” Eli said as Nick headed out the door.

  “For someone who pretends to care about his father, you don’t do a good job of it,” Nick said.

  “What the fuck—”

  “Eli, knock it off,” I said. “Let him go.”

  “No. He just said I don’t really care about my father.”

  “He’s just poking at you,” I said, but I had to wonder about the comment too.

  “The two of you go through the motions, but when was the last time any of you played chess with him?” Nick said.

  “When did you?” Eli snapped.

  “Yesterday.”

  What? Even Eli jerked back. Nick shook his head and then turned to head down to his car. Every step made me feel like I was losing something important. Like my family was losing something important.

  21

  Nick

  Good riddance, I thought as I got into my car and drove off. My life was shit enough. I didn’t need Eli’s constant haranguing me about being a quack. I didn’t need to keep seeing Mia and know that she was ready, willing, and able to sacrifice me to save her client the hospital.

  I knew they loved their father, but even that, I felt they could do better. I wasn’t going to give up seeing Jim, but I was done with Eli and Mia.

  It was wrong, the satisfaction I got from Mia’s expression when I told Jim I had a hot date. I didn’t, of course. But as much as I would have enjoyed watching TV with Jim, I couldn’t be there while Mia and Eli were. For one, they needed to spend time with him. But two, considering how they felt about me, I didn’t want to spend the evening feeling uncomfortable. I was having to do that all day at work these days. I couldn’t tell Jim that though, so I told him I had a date.

  I saw the flash of jealousy in her eyes. It was her choice to choose her work over me. I knew that this time, she was in a tougher situation. It wasn’t like there was a huge need for medical lawyers in Goldrush Lake. And she’d argue that I wasn’t leaving my job either, which was true. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too. But if I thought she cared for me, if there was a chance to have what we had before, would I quit and do something else? I could open a private practice. I could get a job at the clinic down in Keddler or at any number of medical centers in Reno.

  I shook my head, wondering why I was even going there. Mia and I had slept together twice, but nothing about us this time was like last time. It must have been the good memories fogging my brain.

  I wasn’t ready to go home, so I drove up to my favorite nature spot to sit in peace looking over the lake. The water was cold, but I decided a late evening swim was in order to get my blood pumping and awaken the senses. I stripped naked, knowing it was unlikely anyone would be by this late in the evening. It was nearly dark out when most hikers were at their campsites or home.

  When I was waist-deep in the water, I heard a rustle behind me and I had a moment to worry about the possibility of a bear. Instead, I saw Mia. She had the ability to rip my heart out, but I suppose I had a better chance at surviving Mia than a bear.

  “Something wrong with your dad?” I asked.

  She shook her head, her eyes staying glued to mine. “I wanted to apologize for Eli.”

  I shrugged as I pushed the waist-high water around me. “It’s not like I didn’t know how he felt.”

  She moved closer to the water. “You spend a lot of time with my dad.”

  I nodded, wondering if she was going to tell me to stop. Certainly, Eli would. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  I looked down at the ripples of water around me. Finally, I looked up at her again. “Why wouldn’t I? He and I are friends.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “There’s a lot both you and Eli don’t know.” I didn’t mean it to sound harsh, but the flare of annoyance in her eyes told me I did.

  I decided to come clean, knowing that might hurt more. “Your mom asked me to look out for him. Initially, that's what I did, but now we’re friends. He kicks my ass in chess a couple of times a week.”

  “The bongos?”

  “We saw a nature show and your dad was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to go to Africa to see one. So, I found a place we could.” Since I could be put on leave or fired any time, that trip would likely be sooner rather than later,

  She sat on a rock and I had the sense that all her bravado had left her. “Thank you for being so good to him.”

  “He’s good to me too, Mia. We’re friends.” It was important to me that she knew I wasn’t being altruistic or simply fulfilling my vow to his dead wife. I liked Jim.

  She was quiet for a moment. “So, this is your hot date? A frigid swim in a cold lake?”

  “I had to give him an excuse that didn’t sound like I was fleeing.”

  “Were you? Fleeing?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  “You would have stayed if Eli wasn’t there?”

  “Or you.”

  She bit her lip, and part of me felt bad for hurting her. But I had to get her out of my system. Even watching her on the rocks, her porcelain skin looking ethereal under the moonlight, yearning for her expanded in my chest. I couldn’t have that.

  She looked down for a moment. “Your lawyer is very pretty.”

  “She’s a bombshell,” I said, and that time, I did feel like an asshole.

  “Beautiful, sexy and smart.” She gave me a wan smile as she rose. I realized she was going to leave and I didn’t want her to. Let her go, my head screamed.

  “Are you jealous?” I asked.

  “What if I was?”

  “I’d tell you that you didn’t need to be. I’m not fucking her. I have no interest in fucking her.”

  Tension fell away on her face, but she held back a satisfied smile.

  “You’re the only woman I’ve fucked or wanted to fuck in a long time.” I was truly losing my mind. I needed to let this woman go, an
d yet I couldn’t seem to. It was a losing proposition. Even if she did want me, the fact that being with me could get her fired made our being together impossible.

  “You’re the only one I’ve fucked or wanted to fuck too.”

  Despite the cold water, I could feel hot desire filling my dick. “It’s unfortunate that we can’t keep fucking.”

  She nodded. “Yes. It’s risky.”

  “It would be bad if you lost your job. Especially over a doctor who is likely negligent.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t believe that, Nick.” She moved closer to the edge of the water. “I don’t believe you’re at fault.”

  I knew she couldn’t say that in public without risking compromising the hospital’s stance, but still, I was glad she had faith in me.

  “If I lose or get fired, then you won’t have an ethical problem.”

  She stared at me for a long moment, and then she started to undo her blouse. “I hate that my job is putting me in this position.”

  Her blouse fell away. The moon cast a lovely glow on the swells of her tits. I wanted desperately to suck them both.

  “I resent my job for getting in the way.”

  “Way of what?” I asked, watching as she unclasped her bra, letting her gorgeous tits go free. My mouth watered, hoping it was about to consume them.

  “Fucking you.”

  So, it was just sex. I could live with that. For now, at least.

  “Is that what you want, Mia? To fuck me?”

  She undid her skirt, dropping it to rocky sand. “Yes. What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  She took a step in the water. Her body shivered. Her nipples puckered even more. “Do you want to fuck me?”

  “I always want to fuck you. That’s never stopped.” I probably shouldn’t have revealed so much. Our being together was a heartbreak waiting to happen.

  She finally reached me. “The water is really cold.”

  I hesitated for a moment, but then I pulled her to me. “Let me warm you up.” I dipped my head to kiss her, but what I planned to start as a slow seduction, turned into a consuming inferno the minutes my lips touched hers. I was like a starving man who was finally allowed to feast. Need and desire coursed through me like hot lava. If I wasn’t in cool water, I’d have probably gone up in flames.