Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

  “Let ‘em.” I could see a group of people standing just past a half dozen or so deputies outside the door. I walked straight out. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

  The crowd had been somewhat subdued, but when they saw me, the frenzy began.

  “You’re a murderer, Foster,” someone yelled.

  “Oh yeah? So you decide to get back at me by attacking a hospital staff?” I looked at one of the deputies who was shaking his head probably because I was adding to his headache. “I hope you got all their names and will arrest them for assault.”

  “We didn’t assault—”

  “The unconscious woman inside suggests different,” I said as I moved toward the mob.

  “Get back inside, doctor,” one of the deputies said. “Or I’ll arrest you for inciting a mob.”

  I looked at him incredulously. “Me? These people are not only blocking people from getting medical care, but they’ve put a woman in the hospital. Mia Parker. Most of you know her.”

  “You’re a quack,” someone called out. That had me stop and look for Eli. He was the only one I knew of that called me that. I didn’t see him in the crowd. “We know you killed Mia’s mother too.”

  Fuck. I didn’t see Eli, but there was no doubt he was the one who put that idea in their heads.

  If this was about Ms. Mason, then I’d rub it in. “You do Ms. Mason a dishonor by acting like children and harming a woman. She’d be ashamed of all of you.”

  The group came toward me in a rush.

  A deputy grabbed me and started pushing me back into the hospital. “Get inside,” he growled.

  I fought him because I wanted to fight the crowd. Red hot rage snapped and crackled through my body and needed a release that beating these people to a pulp would bring. I was nearly crazed by it.

  Inside the double doors, the deputy pushed my body against the wall and held me there until I could barely breathe.

  “Get your shit together, doctor.”

  “They hurt—”

  “I know it, but you’re not helping. You’re going to get one of us hurt in the same way she did. Now get yourself together.”

  It took a moment for red haze to begin to clear. I took a breath, and then another. The coiled-to-strike tension began to release. The deputy must have felt it too as he backed off. “You in control?”

  “Yeah.”

  He released me and I shook out the kinks in my neck and shoulders from being pinned to the wall. “Sorry.”

  “I get it, but there’s no reasoning with a group of angry people.”

  I nodded. Then I thought of Mia. “Can I go?”

  “Stay in the hospital until you’re told otherwise.”

  I rushed toward the triage area. “Where’s Mia?” I asked Peggy.

  “She’s been taken upstairs to get her away from the chaos.”

  “Is she conscious?”

  “Yes. She’s going to be fine. They want to keep her a little bit. She had a concussion and some bruising. They’re going to x-ray to check for any breaks or fractures, but she’ll be fine.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair.

  Peggy watched me. “Does she know?”

  “Know what?” I said, looking at her.

  “That you love her.”

  My head whipped from side to side looking for someone who might have overheard. “I’m not—”

  “I won’t tell. I know it’s against the rules. But it’s a dumb one if you and her—”

  “There’s no me and Mia.” I was probably too adamant. Peggy’s expression suggested that she didn’t believe me.

  “Have you called her dad?” I asked.

  “Yes. Eli is bringing him.”

  “Fucking Eli. This is his fault.”

  “What?”

  I waved her question away as I saw Eli and Jim walk in. “Excuse me.”

  I strode up to Eli, grabbed him, and pushed him hard against the wall.

  “Nick,” I heard Jim exclaim.

  “You did this, you fucking loser,” I seethed at Eli. The wash of red rage began to fill my brain again. This is the man I’d take out all my anger.

  “I wasn’t even here—”

  “No, you sent your henchmen, and they hurt your sister. Are you happy now? Has your pathetic envy of me finally got you what you wanted? Your sister could have been killed. Good job Eli.”

  Hands gripped my arms and pulled me off. “Dr. Foster, that’s enough.”

  “What are you talking about,” Jim asked as the two security guards pulled me off of Eli.

  “He’s crazy,” Eli sneered.

  “Do you know what your mob said? They called me a quack and said I killed your mother. That’s you, Eli. You fuelled their fear and hate, and now your sister is paying for it.”

  “Is what Nick saying true?” Jim asked Eli.

  Eli’s eyes turned venomous. “You would side with him.”

  “I’m not siding with anyone. I want the truth.” Jim was weak from his Parkinsons, but his eyes were focused and deadly serious. “You’re my son and I love you, but if you’re a part of this—”

  “What if I am? Why am I the only one to see that Nick is a fucking fraud?”

  “I guess it takes one to know one, eh, Eli,” I said. “Except you’re not a fraud. You’re a whiner.”

  “Nick,” Jim’s sharp voice chastised me.

  “Dr. Foster. I need a word.”

  I turned to see Dick with his serious administrative face on.

  “Don’t bother. I quit.” I strode past Jim and Dick, through the crowd of gawkers and surprised nurses. I made my way out the back exit to avoid whatever was still going on out front.

  I should have quit long ago, I realized. Mia was right, I was too fucked up in the head to practice medicine. What had all that denial and pushing through accomplished? Mia got hurt. The weight of Ms. Mason’s death was crushing, but the guilt of knowing I was why Mia was hurt was unbearable. Yes, I put some blame on Eli, but those angry people were there because of me. I couldn’t do that anymore. I was done.

  As I drove toward home, I worked to figure out what I’d do. If any of the mob was at my house, would I drive them over? Let them have me?

  They weren’t there, so the next decision was where to go because I couldn’t stay there. I could go to San Diego to see my parents. Crap, I needed to take Jim to see the Bongos. Well, maybe Mia could do that when she got better.

  Maybe I could just go to Mexico. It would be years before this lawsuit with the Mason family went to trial, and I didn’t need to be here in the meantime.

  First, though, I thought as I walked through my front door, I needed a drink. I didn’t have to work so I could consume as much as I wanted. It had been a long time since I got drunk. Maybe I’d finally have a night without guilt, and anger, and fear, and dreams.

  30

  Mia

  I woke in a private room with my father by my side, and Eli sulking in a corner. “Dad.”

  “There’s my girl.” He looked twenty years older as he smiled at me. I felt bad for putting stress on him.

  Wanting to reassure him, I said, “I’m okay.”

  He smiled. “How do you know? You’ve been knocked out.”

  “I’ll get the doctor,” Eli said, not looking at me.

  “What’s wrong with him?” I asked my dad when Eli left.

  My father sighed. “It’s not important now.”

  “I guess Nick isn’t here?”

  My father’s head tilted to the side and I thought he might ask me about Nick, but the door opened and Dr. Anderson walked in. That told me I wasn’t the ER’s responsibility anymore.

  “Ms. Parker, how are you feeling?”

  “My head hurts,” I admitted.

  “You fell and hit your head. You have some bruising too, but fortunately, no breaks or fractures. Still, we want to keep you for a day or two.”

  “Two?”

  “There was some swelling of the brain. We just want to moni
tor you and make sure that’s all healing.”

  “You’ll be right as new,” my father said from the other side of the bed. He took my hand. The doctor checked me over and then left me alone with my dad. Eli hadn’t returned yet.

  “So, what’s going on?” I asked.

  “It’s not time for you to worry about that, honey. You need your rest.”

  “Except I’m worried about not knowing what’s going on.”

  My father sighed. “It’s a mess.”

  “What is?” Did the group of people rush the hospital and get Nick? “Is it Nick? Is he okay?” I moved to get out of bed. I’d search every room in the hospital to find him if I had to.

  “Nick is fine, honey. Lay down and I’ll tell you. But you have to promise to rest.”

  I nodded. “Yes. Okay, just tell me what’s going on.”

  “Nick quit.”

  “What?”

  “When we arrived after getting the call that you’d been hurt, Nick accosted Eli, blaming him.”

  “I don’t understand?”

  My father shook his head. “I’m not sure either. Something about the mob calling him a quack and blaming him for your mother’s death.”

  “Eli does that,” I said as I remembered the crowd saying the same thing to me. I’d even wondered if Eli had something to do with this protest.

  My father lowered his head, as I guess he knew it too.

  “What happened then?”

  “When someone from the hospital administration showed up, I guess Nick thought he was going to be fired because he said ‘don’t bother, I quit.’”

  I closed my eyes, my heart hurting that Nick had to go through all this.

  “Peggy seems to think he’s in love with you,” my father said. “Is that true?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “What about you? Do you love him?”

  I pulled my dad’s hand to hold it over my heart. “I can’t. I’ll get fired.”

  He frowned. “For loving someone?”

  I nodded. “I’m considered hospital administration, and we’re not to fraternize with other staff.”

  “Seems harsh in a small town where prospects are few as it is.”

  I smiled at him. “You’re still worried about grandkids.”

  His smile was so sweet. “I’d like one or two. Maybe three.”

  The door opened the Eli came in. “How are you?”

  I couldn’t read his expression very well. I think he was trying to be a good big brother, but he seemed agitated.

  “I’m okay.” I wanted to go soft on him, except if Nick was right, Eli’s careless accusations had gotten me hurt.

  “This isn’t my fault,” he said.

  Nothing ever is, I thought but kept to myself.

  “But if it is, I’m sorry. I never thought they’d get like that?”

  “Did you send them?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “No. Mia I’d never.” Now he looked a bit desperate. “I just ran into Lyle and a few of his cronies at the bar the other night. They were talking about Ms. Mason’s death and … well, you know how I feel about Nick. But I never intended for them to attack you. I never even considered that they would.”

  “Words have consequences, son,” my father said.

  Eli’s eyes hardened. “Yes, well, I guess that’s another area where Nick is better than me.”

  “Stop,” I said sharply, then regretted it when a piercing stab shocked my brain. I put my hand on it.

  “You rest now, Mia—”

  “No, Dad.” I looked at Eli. “I know things haven’t always gone your way, but you can’t blame Nick for that.”

  Eli turned away.

  “Did you know before she died, mom asked Nick to do three things for her?”

  Eli slowly turned his attention back to me.

  “One of them was to fix things with you. He said he tried, but you—”

  “He’s a menace in our lives.” Eli nearly growled his disdain.

  I shook my head. “No. He’s not. He loves us. We’re his family.”

  Eli frowned. “So, you and him are together.”

  “This isn’t about me and Nick. This is about how he was your best friend since preschool. How he loved me when I was in law school. How he stayed with mom during her darkest moments. How he loves Dad. He deserves better from everyone in this town, but especially from us.”

  “She’s right,” my father said.

  “He betrayed me with you too,” Eli said to our father, although with less anger as usual.

  “What do you mean?” my father asked.

  “When he was with Mia, it was a secret. Now it turns out he’s been your afternoon buddy for years, and that was a big secret.”

  My heart went out to him as I realized he wasn’t totally unreasonable in his anger.

  “You’re right.” My father made his way to Eli. “I should have told you. I was thinking that it would be easier since I knew you didn’t like him, but it was wrong. I’m sorry about that, Eli. I really am. I can see where that would make you think I cared for him more. You’re my son, and I love you. I’m proud of the work you’ve done with the store—”

  Eli looked down. “Now you’re patronizing me.”

  “No. You’ve rallied with stiff competition. I know you’re working on a variety of new ideas to take the customers back.”

  “You want me to sell it.”

  “Only because the store was my dream, not yours. I was a therapist for many years, but it turned out it wasn’t my calling. The store was. You took it over to help me when I got ill, but it’s not your calling.”

  Eli scoffed. “I don’t have a calling.”

  “You do. You just don’t know it yet.” My father put his hand on Eli’s shoulder. “As far as Nick goes, I won’t deny that I care about that boy. But I have enough love to go around, and nothing will change that you’re my son.”

  Eli leaned back against the wall and ran his hands over his face. “I’m an asshole.”

  “No—”

  “Yes, you are sometimes,” I said.

  My father glared at me.

  “But you’re our asshole, and sometimes I’m one too. We used to get along better. Do you think you could forgive me for being with Nick?”

  “Then or now?” Eli asked.

  “There is no now,” I said.

  Eli nodded. “I don’t know that I can ever be his friend, but I can let some of this animosity go.”

  “That’s a start, son. Thank you.” My father pulled him in for a hug.

  I couldn’t be sure we were starting down a new path where Eli wouldn’t be so angry all the time, but I needed to hope we were. “Now that’s taken care of, can you go check on Nick?”

  Eli frowned. “I thought you said there was no now?”

  “We’re not in a relationship, but we are friends. Working to heal the community he grew up in was his dream. The community turned on him and now he’s quit. I’m worried about him. Aren’t you, Dad?”

  My father nodded. “When you put it that way, I am.”

  “Where’s my phone? I want to call him.”

  “Here’s the stuff you were wearing,” Eli said handing me my clothes. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Nick’s number.

  “This is Dr. Foster. If this is an emergency, go to the hospital or call 9-1-1. Otherwise, leave a message.”

  I sighed. “Nick, it’s Mia. I just heard the news and wanted to check in with you.” I wasn’t sure what to say after that. That wasn’t true. I wanted to tell him I loved him and wished I could hold him. But with Eli and my dad in the room, and my denying something between us, I said, “Please call me when you can,” and then hung up.

  I looked up at my brother and father. “Would you mind going to his house and checking on him?”

  My father looked at Eli. Eli nodded reluctantly. “I’ll go.”

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” my father asked.

  “If he
wants to take a swipe at me, I’ll let him have one. I think I deserve it—”

  “Eli—”

  Eli held up his hands at my father’s interruption. “But I’ll behave. I promise.”

  I had to hope he could keep that promise. “Thank you.”

  He nodded. “I’ll be in touch later.”

  When he left, my dad came back to my bedside and took my hand.

  “Why don’t you sit? Or are you tired? We can catch Eli and he can take you home.”

  “I’m not leaving. Not now anyway.” But he did go to sit in a chair.

  “Do you think Eli will behave?”

  “I think what happened to you was a wake-up call. I just hope it lasts.”

  Me too, I thought. “If Nick quit, he might leave town. Maybe go live near his parents.”

  My dad shook his head. “I’d miss him, but I can’t blame him. What about the lawsuit?”

  “He’d have to come back for that, but these types of things could take years.”

  “You don’t think he did anything wrong do you, Mia? Not even by accident.”

  I shook my head. “I haven’t seen anything that is blatant, but there’s still more to check into.” I wished I could tell my dad more, like how the IT person found a glitch in the EMR system, or questions about whether Ms. Mason came in too late to be saved. But I couldn’t.

  “Do you think Eli has a calling?” I asked, changing the subject.

  My father sat back and sighed. “I hope so, honey.”

  31

  Nick

  As it turned out, after one drink, I felt the need to get out of dodge. Even in my own home, Mia haunted me. Seeing her unconscious completely undid me and I couldn’t get it out of my head. The best thing I could do for her was to leave. If I did, she wouldn’t be in danger. She wouldn’t have to risk her job. She wouldn’t be stuck between me and Eli.

  I decided to head to my parents in San Diego. It wasn’t a long-term plan, but it would get me away long enough to think straight and make a new plan. Plus, it was close to Mexico if that was where I ended up. I couldn’t imagine any U.S. hospital hiring me while I was being sued for malpractice, but maybe there was a clinic in Mexico that needed doctors enough to look the other way on that.