Microsoft Word - OneGoodWoman

by test

  * * * *

  “Eat something. That’s an order.” Juston handed Cara a piece of thick, soft Realm bread and a slice of yellow cheese.

  He was right, of course. She needed her strength though she wasn’t sure she could ever find enough to get her through the coming years of emptiness. Now that she understood what it was to love, her existence seemed even bleaker. How long could her memories sustain her?

  Would she someday hear that Brady had married some pretty young Realm girl? Or worse, might he take up with a Parlanian or a Solonian?

  “Are you going to tell me what happened with you and Brady?” Juston said around bites of his own slice of bread and cheese.

  “I don’t think so.” It wasn’t like him to press her for her secrets.

  “I can guess. Did you have sex with him,” he pushed without mercy.

  No one else sat close to them. Her mother sat near the horses with the other women but stole glances toward her and Juston. “I don’t think it’s any concern of yours.”

  “I think it is if it interferes with your duties.”

  “How would it interfere?” Cara realized she’d never spoken to Juston with such belligerence.

  He gestured at the bread held untouched in her hand. “You’re walking around like a ghost. You don’t eat. You don’t sleep. You look like you’re about to fall over. What are we doing here?”

  “Going home.” She lifted the bread to her mouth but couldn’t make herself take a bite.

  “No we’re not. We’re all helping you run away. I’ve admired you from the moment I met you, Cara, and this is the first time I’ve ever thought you a coward.”

  “A coward?” But she couldn’t even put anger in the words. Not even her pride seemed to matter.

  “You’re running away because you’re afraid.”

  “I’m not afraid of any man.”

  Juston smiled. “I know you’re not afraid of Brady Gellot. You’re afraid of loving him.”

  “No, I’m not. I love him and admit it freely.” But there was no relief in saying it out loud to someone else.

  “Then I ask you again. What are we doing here? Why aren’t you in Utopia having dinner with him and his parents?” Juston stared at her with those eyes that missed nothing and allowed no hiding.

  “I love Brady, but how can I expect him to love me? You know me, know my past. It was one thing for him to want me when we were alone with no sure chance of ever getting home again. But now we’re back, and he can have any one he wants. A woman who can give him ONE GOOD WOMAN SUSAN KELLEY 133

  children and come to his bed pure and clean. A woman who doesn’t wake up most nights with nightmares.”

  “Cara.” Juston shook his head. “You don’t understand Brady. Most people don’t. Did he tell you about his two older brothers?”

  “They died on their way to visit you on the day the Savages killed your parents.”

  “The only reason Brady wasn’t with them was because they’d locked him in the barn so he couldn’t follow them. We didn’t like having their little brother hanging around with us all the time. He couldn’t keep up and one day he almost drowned when we were playing in a pond we weren’t supposed to be swimming in.”

  “Nearly drowned? Brady?”

  Juston snorted. “Yeah. Our fathers tore into us, made us do extra chores for an entire summer. We had to take Brady swimming everyday and teach him. But the end of that summer he was better in the water than any of us.”

  “He saved my life in that river.”

  “Most people see Brady’s good cheer and desire for adventure as an oddity given what happened to his brothers. Some people faced with such loss become angry and vengeful like you and me.”

  Cara nodded. She and Juston were alike in that way. Only in the last month had her fires of rage cooled.

  “Brady, on the other hand, figures that he’s only alive because of a quirk of fate. His brothers almost never managed to elude him. But they did that day and it saved his life. To Brady, every day is a gift. A day he shouldn’t have had, so he lives each hour as fully as he can.

  When we were younger, I sometimes would get angry with Brady for not hating more, for not living only to avenge his brothers.”

  “But he went into the warrior life as you did.” Cara didn’t like hearing anyone speak against Brady, not even Juston.

  “He did, and I’ve fought beside him when his blood was as hot as mine. He’s very good at what he does. Now as a happily married man and father, I look back and think I was envious of Brady because he could find contentment and joy in life and I could only cling to what I’d lost. He’d gone on, and I hadn’t.”

  Cara fiddled with the bread in her hand. “It’s so much to let go of.”

  “He doesn’t expect you to forget. He never forgets his brothers, not even for a day. I’ve seen him out there at the spot where they died. He was the one who found them, found me. He escaped from the barn and came after them. He didn’t even go get his parents. He followed the trail of the Savages to my house with his little belt knife in his hand.”

  “Stupid

  and

  brave.”

  “Loyal and strong.” Juston took her hand. “If there’s one man in all the Realm I would select as the man who could give you the happiness and peace I’ve found, it would be Brady Gellot.”

  “I can’t give him children.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “I told him.”

  “Then it doesn’t matter to him. You said he could have any woman he wants, but he’s a grown man, Cara. If there was a woman he wanted, he would have married her by now. I’ve seen the look in his eyes. He wants you.”

  ONE GOOD WOMAN SUSAN KELLEY 134

  “But will he want me next year, or the next, when he figures out that I’ll always be this damaged, incomplete woman?”

  “Loving someone is taking a chance. You, more than most people, understand how dangerous the world is every time you step out into it. Yet, you’re brave enough to do it every day. You have the courage to take a chance with Brady also.”

  She carefully hugged him, not completely comfortable with such a blatant display of emotion. “I think you saved me again, but with words instead of a sword this time.”

  “Well, if he hurts you, I’ll save you with my sword again.”

  She was never sure if he meant such things when he said them or not, but she would never let him fight with Brady. She stood up and looked toward Utopia. They’d left over four hours ago, but she could still get back before dark. The trail between here and the settlement was wide and safe. “I need to saddle my horse.”

  “I’ll help you.” Juston grinned and slapped her on the back, warrior to warrior.

  She took leave of her mother and said only she’d forgotten something in Utopia. After that she barely remembered climbing into the saddle and starting down the trail. She rode for almost an hour before she heard the approach of a horse coming toward her.

  Brady rode around a curve and pulled his horse to a stop. She rode toward him, her heart pounding in her chest. Blue fire danced in his eyes, and the mountain’s breath played his hair into a wilder disarray than usual.

  “Where the hell are you running off to?”

  “No

  where.”

  His scowl softened and then became a grin. “Good. Come on, we’re having dinner with my parents.”

  ONE GOOD WOMAN SUSAN KELLEY 135

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “You don’t know how happy you’ve made me, dear. I already know the craftsman to frame it for me.”

  Brady watched his mother working to charm Cara. Mothers knew things, and his mother had figured out how important Cara was to him.

  “Let’s sit down to dinner.” Vilicia herded them into the dining room. The table was sensible and plain with seating for a good dozen.

  Brady had eaten in this room many times when Sky hosted his officers to discuss training and other issues of the warriors stati
oned in Utopia or passing through as Brady often did on Realm business.

  Cara took a seat between Vilicia and his mother while Brady and his father shared the other side of the table. Sky took the head spot with his daughter on his knee.

  The sweet scent of rich honey wafted from the roast chicken and the green beans shone with butter. The bread was crunchy with some kind of nutty grain and the preserves were thick with strawberries. Brady still hadn’t adjusted to eating so much, so often, let alone with sugar and spices to challenge his digestive organs. Cara ate as carefully as he did, as if trying to make sure it lasted for as long as possible in case there was no more on the morrow.

  Except there was plenty, and she should be eating more. She looked less healthy and hale than when they’d climbed up that mountain. Dark circles beneath her eyes gave testament to her lack of proper rest, and her body was impossibly thinner. She chased some rice around on her plate with the finely made wooden fork.

  “Have some of this bread, dear.” Brady’s mother set a piece on Cara’s plate. “I made it myself in Vilicia’s fancy kitchen. The preserves I brought from home. They’re Brady’s favorite.”

  Cara lifted her gaze to Brady’s, and he grinned at her defeated expression. How could anyone refuse his mother?

  “You always think of what’s best for me.” His remark earned him a proud smile from his mother. Until he met Cara, he thought his mother was the strongest person he’d ever known.

  She’d suffered through the loss of her eldest sons to a violent death and somehow still remained whole enough to love and raise a confused, lost boy who couldn’t quite grasp that his beloved siblings were gone forever. And if her faded blue eyes were sometimes distant with sad memories, than who could blame her? Perhaps it was that deep grief his mother had in common with Cara that had first brought the thin, defensive Solonia beauty to his attention. Certainly there were many women as physically attractive as Cara, though he couldn’t think of any, but he could not have loved a woman who wasn’t so strong.

  The meal passed slowly for him with his parents questioning Vilicia and Cara about Solonia and fussing over Teagan as she sat happily in her proud father’s arms. Somehow his mother convinced Cara to finish her meal.

  Brady helped Vilicia serve tea. He and Cara shared a smile at the hint of mint in the brew. It was delicious.

  ONE GOOD WOMAN SUSAN KELLEY 136

  Sky pulled the curtains closed against the dark and secured the door. Vilicia bid her guests fair night and good sleep and then took the baby back down the hall to the nursery near the master bedroom. Brady’s mother and father escorted Cara upstairs to the room normally occupied by Sky’s twin sisters. Brady’s parents were using the only guest room.

  Sky grinned at him. “Looks like you have the barracks.”

  “Hell, no. She might run away again.”

  “Why did she run away?” Sky crossed his arms over his chest. Turan was the biggest, strongest warrior in the Realm and that meant the biggest anywhere. “Vilicia told me enough to know you shouldn’t trifle with Cara.”

  “Stay out of it, Sky.” He didn’t like that anyone knew of Cara’s past. It was tough enough for her without rumors being spread.

  “No, I’m not staying out of it. Vilicia loves her. She was one of the warriors with Juston when they rescued her.”

  “I know.” Brady looked at the floor in front of the cold hearth. A thick, wool rug offered the only comfort from the wood floor. “Tell your wife not to worry. I’ll take care of her friend.”

  “I think that’s what worries her.” Sky frowned at Brady. “She remembers that charm of yours when you were flirting with her. Cara isn’t accustomed to someone as smooth as you.”

  Brady really did try not to grin. Sky Turan was jealous of him? But he wouldn’t tease the big man. It might be unhealthy. “I never flirted with your wife even when she thought she hated you. I could tell she was already in love with you. Cara and I spent over a month alone together. She’s plenty used to someone like me.”

  Sky pointed his finger at Brady. “Don’t hurt her.”

  “Your wife is waiting for you.” Brady hadn’t been under Sky’s command for more than a year. He wasn’t going to be ordered about like a cadet.

  “You son of a bitch,” Sky said with little heat and then headed back down the hallway to join his family.

  Brady puttered in the kitchen for a while, cleaning tea cups and putting the leftover bread in the box. He’d been living alone for a long time and would never expect his wife to do all the cleanup and keeping of the house. The house became quiet except for a few creaks and groans as the mountain air cooled. Time to set things right with Cara.

  She was expecting him. A small lamp burned on the nightstand between the two narrow beds. She wore a night shirt obviously borrowed from the taller, curvier Vilicia. In the young girls’ room, she looked like a child herself seated on the light green blankets covering the beds.

  Her dark eyes looked huge in her face, and her blonde hair gleamed across her shoulders.

  She sat with her hands folded in her lap, and her feet planted flat on the floor. She looked braced for a fight, but he wasn’t going to let one start.

  He closed the door silently and crossed the room to her. Not wanting to give her a chance to talk first, he dropped to his knees in front of her and laid his head on her lap. “Why did you leave me?”

  Her thighs were tense beneath his head, and she didn’t breath for a long moment. Then the tension leaked out of her with a long sigh. Her rough, warrior hands stroked his hair as if she tried to find order within the mess it always was. “I was afraid.”

  He lifted his head, his chest tight. “Afraid of me?”

  She moved her hands to his face. “Afraid that you wouldn’t want me anymore now that we’re back in the world.”

  “How I feel about you has nothing to do with where we are.”

  ONE GOOD WOMAN SUSAN KELLEY 137

  “How you feel?”

  He was an idiot. “I love you, Cara. I’ve loved you for a long time and tried to get over it.

  I believe that damned tree hit me because I was distracted thinking about the time I was going to have to spend with you and how agonizing it was going to be. Knowing everything about you, I understand why you didn’t want me to get closer, but the time we had alone has given me hope.

  Hope that even if you don’t or can’t love me yet, you still want to be with me. I’ll take that for now, but I’ll never stop hoping for your love.”

  Her eyes went glassy, and she blinked several times. But large tears spilled over her lashes and ran down her cheeks to splash on her lap.

  “Cara?” He cautiously caught one of the hot drops. “Don’t cry, Cara. I don’t mean to frighten you. I won’t say it again.”

  She shook her head wildly, and her loose hair swatted his hand and wrist. “I’m not crying. I never cry. One time since Juston rescued me, I cried, but never since then. I have no tears for sadness, pain or grief inside me.”

  Brady lifted his other hand and caught another tear. “Maybe they’re not bad tears.”

  Her lips curved in a trembling smile, and her hands tugged him up to join her on the bed.

  Relief swept through him as their mouths found each other. They had this, and it wasn’t just lust for her any more than it was for him. He sought her heart and knew he was close to having it.

  The sleeping gown was thin protection from his roaming hands, and hers took little time doing away with his shirt. He would ask her to marry him after he sated her desires. When she was sprawled on top of him, spent and mellow, her guard down, he would demand she be his wife. He stood up and kicked off his boots and then shed his pants. His body ached for her, but he must not let it distract him from the goal of his seduction. Suddenly he froze.

  Cara carefully and slowly lay down on the bed. On her back. She was gloriously naked and reclined on the pillows, totally exposed and vulnerable. She looked at him with total trust.

/>   Brady’s throat closed up and his vision went blurry. He approached her slowly, finding speech nearly impossible. “Are you sure?”

  She opened her arms to him. “I love you, Brady Gellot.”

  * * * *

  The path was long overgrown. No one traveled between the Gellot homestead and the former Steele ranch. Not any more. But Brady had no trouble finding the spot where his brothers had died.

  “Did you tell your parents I can’t have children?” Cara asked from behind him. They’d left their horses ground-hitched a short distance back.

  “No. It’s no one’s business but ours.” His parents loved Cara if for no other reason than that she so obviously loved their only son. He’d never been so happy or content. It was as if he’d been chasing around the world looking for this woman all his life.