Murder Is Where the Heart Is

by Maddie Cochere

  I felt more pangs of sympathy for him.

  He set a full plate of food in front of me before carrying his plate to sit across the counter from me. This was how we always used to eat together.

  I put my pen and paper aside and took a few bites. Everything tasted great, but this was way too much food for me now. I shoved my plate forward and set my cup of coffee in its place.

  “What’s the matter? You don’t like it?”

  I managed a smile for him. “It’s good. You haven’t lost your touch. I’m just not eating as much as I used to. I’m trying to take off this extra weight.”

  “That’s my girl. You’ll look so much better when you get that flab off.”

  My sympathy for him disappeared. He could be such a jerk. I stood from my stool and headed for the door to the garage.

  “I have to run. I have to find a stolen dog. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Don’t forget to go by my place,” he called after me.

  I backed my car out of the garage and kept on backing until I was across the cul-de-sac and into Pepper’s driveway. The garage door was down. I walked to the front door and knocked.

  Keith answered, took one look at me, and his eyes bugged out. He let out a little girly scream and took off running up the stairs. I heard his bedroom door slam.

  Pepper came running from the basement with a laundry basket in hand. She looked frazzled.

  “What’s wrong with him?” I asked. “He’s never given me that kind of greeting before.”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Just ignore him.”

  She motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen. I sat down at the counter where blueberry muffins tempted me from under a glass dome. I was helpless when it came to blueberries. I lifted the glass and selected a large one bursting with berries. Pepper poured coffee for both of us and sat down across from me. She had a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

  “Soooo,” she drawled. “You and Glenn finally did it, huh?”

  I looked at her like she had lost her mind. “What are you talking about?”

  “The car in your driveway all night. I assumed it was Glenn’s.”

  “It’s Alan’s.”

  “Alan? You did it with Alan?”

  “Of course I didn’t do it with Alan. He needs a place to stay for a few days.”

  She looked aghast. “You can’t let him stay with you. Are you trying to ruin things with Glenn?”

  “It has nothing to do with Glenn. Alan’s upset about Bailey’s murder, and he doesn’t want to stay at his house. He thought he would be more comfortable with me.”

  “I bet he did,” she said sarcastically.

  “It’s not like that, Pepper. It’s just for a couple of days, and then he’ll be gone.”

  She didn’t look convinced.

  “I’ll talk to Glenn. I’m sure he’ll understand.” I said.

  The look on her face let me know she thought I was full of crap. Maybe I was, but having Alan in the house for a few days might help me to get a grasp on my feelings - for both Alan and Glenn.

  “He gave me a key to his house. He wants me to go over and have a look around. Want to come with me for a couple of hours this afternoon?”

  Her face lit up. “I sure do. I’ll give the kids assignments they can work on while I’m gone.”

  “I need to talk to Keith,” I said. “He should have a report for me on Burt Chester.”

  “Listen, Jo, he’s a little freaked out right now. The kids were up early to watch a nature show on PBS. I told them they could watch that instead of having science class today. Mama called before it was over, and Keith answered the phone. She told him he needed to hide from you if you showed up, because you went crazy and killed two people at Alan’s house.”

  My mouth was full of blueberry muffin, but I let it hang open with astonishment anyway. “You can’t be serious,” I mumbled. “Why would she scare him like that? I swear, there’s something wrong with that woman.”

  “I talked with both of the kids and told them their Grandmama was wrong, and they should just ignore her. Kelly understands, but Keith thinks because you have a murder room in your house, you’ve been planning murders in it.” She couldn’t help smiling.

  It did sound funny when she said it. The kid sure had a vivid imagination.

  “Is it ok if I go up and talk to him?” I asked.

  “Sure. Knock yourself out.”

  Kelly’s door was open. I stuck my head in and saw she had gone back to bed and was asleep. I knocked on Keith’s door.

  “Can I come in?”

  “No. I’m busy.”

  “I want to talk to you, and I want to pick up your report on Burt Chester.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “C’mon. Let me in. I’ll tell you what really happened yesterday. You’ll have a scoop that none of your friends will have.”

  I waited. I knew he loved knowing things that other people didn’t, and some inside information on a couple of murders would put him in an elevated position with his friends.

  He opened the door and ran back to jump on his bed. I went in and sat on the end of the bed.

  “You’re not seriously afraid of me, are you?”

  “I don’t think so. Why would Grandmama say you murdered people?”

  “I think you must have misunderstood her. Maybe she said I found two murdered people, because I did.”

  “No, she said you shot them.”

  “Keith, you should know by now she forgets things, and she gets things mixed up. You remember your Uncle Alan, right?” He nodded his head. “I stopped over at his house yesterday to sign some legal papers. When I was in the kitchen, I saw a gun on the counter. I thought it was cool, so I picked it up and practiced holding it and aiming it. I accidentally shot a mirror.”

  He clapped his hand over his mouth to hold back surprise and laughter.

  “I know it’s funny, but I should have followed the rules. If you ever see a gun, you should never touch it, right?” He nodded his head. “Your Uncle Alan’s new wife wasn’t any too happy that I shot her mirror, so I left right away. I had to go back to get my sunglasses, and that’s when I found her and the guy she was painting.”

  He looked frightened. “Grandmama said she’s keeping her doors locked and we should do the same.”

  I shook my head. I was going to give Mama a piece of my mind for scaring him like this.

  “You don’t have to lock your doors. I promise. Whoever did this isn’t interested in our family or hurting any children. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with Uncle Alan’s new wife, and I’m going to catch whoever did it.”

  He smiled. “Can I help catch them, too?”

  “No. Not unless you see something suspicious around town and want to write a report for me. Do you have your Burt Chester report?”

  He jumped off the bed and picked up a couple of papers from his dresser.

  “It’s all here. You should be able to put him in jail with this.”

  I looked at the first page and bit my lip to keep from laughing. It was a colorful drawing of Burt walking with the pumpkin. He was just a little more than a stick figure, and he had a scarecrow quality. The pumpkin was twice the size Burt was. His legs were bent under the weight. The grill played a prominent part in the picture.

  His actual report was short.

  Mr. Chester is a faker. His back isn’t hurt. I watched him carry a 500 lb. pumpkin in his yard. He couldn’t do that if his back hurt. He is mean and yells at Jimmy Faust about the newspaper. He should be arrested for child abuse. Signed, Keith Swenson

  “This is perfect,” I told him. “Make sure your mom gives you extra credit for art, writing, English, and community service. You just helped an insurance company save thousands of dollars.”

  He smiled and puffed out his chest. I couldn’t help laughing at him.

  “Are we good now?” I asked.

  He nodded his head.

  Pepper ha
d just finished folding the clothes from the basket when I walked back into the kitchen. I put Keith’s papers into in my purse.

  “I’ll be back to pick you up at one o’clock. I have to go talk to Arnie.”

  She walked me to the door. “Jo, you need to rethink letting Alan stay with you. How would you feel if Glenn had an old girlfriend staying at his house for a few days?”

  I shook my head. “I already told Alan he could stay, but I’ll talk to Glenn. I promise.”

  I rushed to my car. I didn’t want to discuss it with her any further. If Glenn had an old girlfriend staying with him, I would probably break it off in a heartbeat, but I wasn’t going to let Pepper guilt me into making Alan leave.

  Chapter Nine

  “What’d you observe?”

  “I observed plenty. I wrote it all in my statement at the police station.”

  Arnie shook his head. “You missed it again, Jo. You’re gonna learn the hard way, aren’t you? Oh, sure, you opened your eyes after the dish and the joe were rubbed out, but what did you see when you first got to the house?”

  What did he want from me? I did a good job of looking around before the police showed up. I didn’t understand why he was being so critical.

  “I saw the house. And the landscaping. It was all really quite lovely.” My voice carried a sarcastic tone.

  I wasn’t certain, but I may have seen a hint of a smile before he hung his head and shook it. His head snapped back up without the smile. “Could someone have been hiding in a bush? Did you notice any other cars going up or down the street? Were there any parked cars? Someone may have been watching the house, waiting to go in. Did you see Alan’s car driving toward the house when you were leaving?”

  I frowned. “No. I didn’t even know he was back in town.”

  “But if you were observant, you would have looked at the faces of the drivers you passed. You might have seen him.”

  “Are you telling me that every time I go to Pepper’s house, I should be looking around in her bushes? And I’m supposed to look at the face of every driver I pass whether I’m on a case or not?”

  “If you want to be in this business, you have to observe everything. I can’t say it any clearer than that.”

  “I’m going to need memory classes,” I said with sarcasm again. “I’ll never be able to remember that many details.”

  He may have held back another smile. It was hard to tell with him. It could have been indigestion from the snack bar food and strong black coffee.

  I became serious with him. “What do you think, Arnie? I know Alan didn’t do this. He was completely oblivious when Sergeant Rorski and his men showed up to arrest him.”

  His look was intense – worried even. “I think you better hope Alan did kill his wife, because if he didn’t, you’re going to be arrested.”

  “Why does everyone keep saying that? All of the people who are saying it know full well that I didn’t murder anyone.”

  “I’m just letting you know, Jo. If Alan’s prints aren’t on the gun, but yours are, you’re going to be in the lock-up by this time next week. I suggest you get crackin’ and start learnin’ to be observant. Do you have a plan in place yet?”

  “I have the key to Alan’s house. He asked me to go over and look around. Pepper and I are going this afternoon.” He nodded his head. “I also want to talk to her girlfriend and the guy who was giving her art lessons.”

  “That’s a good start,” he said.

  We were both quiet for a few moments. I think he was simply done talking, but I had a feeling of foreboding.

  I changed the subject.

  “I hear Brick might be getting out of jail soon. They don’t have enough to hold him, do they?”

  “Nope. He’ll be out this afternoon. Did you know a ransom note showed up?”

  “Really? When?”

  “Preston’s ball and chain found it under their front door this morning. Three hundred thousand dollars. Date and place for delivery to be determined.”

  “Doug’s wife isn’t a ball and chain, Arnie.” I shook my head. I usually got a kick out of his phrasing, but today, it rubbed me the wrong way. “With Brick still in jail when the ransom was delivered, that rules him out in Leslie’s abduction, too, doesn’t it?”

  “Pretty much. Her abductor is probably the boyfriend or someone she knew in Hollywood. Let the coppers handle it. They’ll get her back. You need to give all your attention to the Alan murders.”

  The Alan murders. It sounded like a bad fiction novel.

  “I will. I picked up a stolen dog case. I won’t work it hard, but I’ll keep an eye out for him in my travels.”

  I picked up my purse and fished inside for the keys. Keith’s papers were sticking out of an inside pocket.

  “I almost forgot. I have everything we need to put the Burt Chester fraud case to rest.” I pulled the papers out and handed them to Arnie.

  He looked them over. “This is a first. I’ve never submitted paperwork from a kid before.” He set the papers aside. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take over the Chester file.”

  I gave him a big grin. “Oh, I’ve got the goods on Burt Chester. Jackie got him on camera yesterday doing a wicked butterfly stroke at the Y. He followed it with an impressive dive off the high board. There’s nothing wrong with his back. I forgot to check my email this morning, but I’m sure the file is there. I’ll send it to you tonight.”

  He gave me a genuine smile, and I had a moment of pride. Most of the time, I felt like I was disappointing him. The smile was a good reward today.

  On my way out of the flea market, I glanced over at the tattooed wonder. I chuckled when I heard him say, “Hey, buddy, can’t you read? If you break it, you buy it.”

  ~ ~ ~

  “Zip me up.”

  “I’m not zipping you up. There’s no way that dress will zip up. It’s at least three sizes too small for you.”

  “This one is more forgiving than the others. I’m sure I can squeeze everything into this one. Give me a hand.”

  Pepper was pushing, pulling, and tucking her boobs into the slinky dress. I gave the zipper a hard tug and managed to get it up about three fourths of the way. Her back fat spilled over the unzipped part.

  “That’s good enough,” she said. “I can still get the full effect of the dress.”

  She studied herself in the full-length mirror.

  “If it fit, it would be perfect for you,” I said.

  She began digging through Bailey’s jewelry box. She quickly had on earrings, a necklace, and a huge sapphire ring.

  She was like a kid, and I didn’t discourage her from playing dress-up. As soon as we had walked into the house, I could tell she was more interested in snooping through Alan and Bailey’s belongings than she was snooping for clues. After all the stress she’d had lately homeschooling the kids, I realized this was a much-needed break for her.

  I had already searched the first floor. Either Bailey had a maid, or she was a meticulous housekeeper. Other than the broken mirror and the champagne-roses mess in the kitchen, nothing was out of place in the house.

  The bedroom was the last room to search, and that was where I found Pepper in her underwear. I couldn’t help laughing. What grown woman wears bright yellow SpongeBob underwear – especially in the granny panty size?

  “Don’t laugh. Buck loves SpongeBob, and I got these on sale for ninety-nine cents at the dollar store.” She flashed a devilish smile and said, “He likes going under the sea.”

  I laughed harder and helped her into the slinky black number.

  While Pepper dug through more of Bailey’s jewelry, I began searching through dresser drawers. Once again, I felt a wave of jealousy. Alan had been able to give Bailey the best of everything. Both of them wore designer clothing while I wore bargain t-shirts and jeans.

  If Alan and I got back together, would I live here? Is this what I wanted? A nice house with beautiful furnishings? No one would be surprised to see us together again.
I never wanted the divorce in the first place.

  My mind felt clouded again. I forced myself to shake the thoughts off and focus on the clothes in the drawer.

  Suspenders. Alan didn’t wear suspenders. Maybe these belonged to one of Bailey’s lovers. I pulled the multi-striped bands out. I would ask him about them tonight.

  Another drawer revealed at least a dozen pair. I sighed. He obviously wore suspenders. I was beginning to realize that searching his house had done nothing more than waste time. Everything was so noticeably in its place, I knew there wasn’t going to be anything that would help solve the murders.

  Pepper called out from the bathroom where she was raiding and applying Bailey’s makeup. “Hey, did I tell you I’m going to be selling Sally Lou Cosmetics?”

  “Why would you want to do that?”

  “Aunt Bee’s selling them. She’s recruiting me, and my first party is Friday night. You have to come. I’ll recruit you, and then I can make money from all your sales, too.”

  I wasn’t into makeup and rarely wore any at all. The thought of wearing and selling cosmetics was about as interesting to me as working at the mortgage company again.

  “I’ll come, but I’m not selling makeup,” I said while rifling through Bailey’s underwear. “I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to tell women how to apply it, and with my investigative business, I wouldn’t have time to have parties anyway.”

  Pepper stepped back into the room. I couldn’t help smiling at the dark rings around her eyes.

  “It’s probably a bit much,” she admitted. “But I think I could make this look work. It’s called a smokey eye.”

  I laughed and said, “Right now, it’s called a raccoon eye.”

  I stopped laughing when I noticed a man’s leopard thong under Bailey’s more delicate underwear. A pair of furry leopard handcuffs revealed themselves after I picked up the thong. Hidden under the handcuff was a black and white houndstooth bowtie. These were items I could ask Alan about. I had never known him to play games in the bedroom.