The Selling Point
Page 17
Those women deserved a sincere, heartfelt apology. And, as Sue had gotten, a chance to put Darby firmly in her place for what she’d done.
The idea of hearing over and over how much pain and humiliation she’d caused someone else became too much in that moment. In her mind, she pictured herself sitting in that greasy cafe as a line of bitter would-have-been brides formed, one behind the other, waiting for a chance to sit across from Darby and call her all the things Sue had tossed her way.
“You guys,” she said flatly, “I need to make a list of all the women I have to apologize to. And then I have to… I have to actually apologize to them. Sue was the only one to confront me, but…the others need to hear how sorry I am too.”
Silence hung in the cabin. Jade and Taylor were likely coming to the same realization that Darby had—that was a lot of apologies and a lot of fire to walk through.
“Oh,” Jade finally said softly. “Yes. I suppose you should.”
“Shit,” Taylor whispered.
Darby swallowed hard as her stomach tightened around the coffee there. Though it was early yet, she checked her watch and confirmed that Harper’s would be opening soon. As the misery of what lay before her sank in, Darby did what she always did when she was feeling at her lowest point. “Ice cream?” she suggested.
“Damn straight,” Jade said, standing up.
Taylor pulled her keys from her pocket. “I’ll drive.”
It was well after ten in the evening when Darby noticed a fire in the pit that sat near the water’s edge. Peering out the window, she saw Jade sitting and staring into the flames. Knowing her friend was still upset about Liam’s decision to put space between them, Darby put on a pot of water for tea. When the water was hot, she poured it over a tea bag she kept at her house for Jade and filled a wineglass with a rosé for herself.
She didn’t know if Jade would want company or not, but she had to at least try to be there and support her. Heavens knew Jade had done more than her share of propping up Darby over the last few days. If it hadn’t been for Jade’s kindness and ongoing support, Darby would have crumpled under the weight of Un-Do, Jennifer Williams, and Sue Berdynski even more than she already had.
After having ice cream at Harper’s, Jade and Taylor had sat with Darby as she made a list of all the would-have-been brides that she needed to apologize to. Then, with the list tucked into her pocket, Jade said she’d do what she could to find each and every one so Darby could personally reach out to each one and express her remorse for sharing whatever had caused their weddings to blow up. The knowledge of what was coming sat like a boulder on Darby’s chest all day. When Jade and Taylor said they planned to go kayaking, Darby had excused herself.
Instead of going out on the water, she’d gone home and had done her best to not think about the gauntlet she’d soon be facing. The evening had dragged on, however, and her depression had grown with each passing moment. The idea of sitting with Jade by the fire soothed her—and not only because she wanted to check on her friend but because being with someone else for a while would likely help Darby as well.
With the mug of tea in one hand and a wineglass in the other, Darby walked to where Jade had been sitting. The fire she’d built was roaring as the stars twinkled in a clear sky above them. Bugs chirped and the occasional sound of a fish snagging a snack filtered to Darby as she eased down the rocky path.
“May I join you?” she asked when she reached the area they shared.
Jade subtly wiped a tear from her cheek. “Of course.”
Darby’s heart lurched in her chest, knowing that her friend was hurting so much. She would do anything to help Jade and Liam work through whatever was going on with them. Poor Jade deserved to be happy, not crying alone by a fire in the middle of summer.
Holding out the tea, she offered a soft smile. “I made this for you.”
“Thanks.” Jade accepted the mug but didn’t drink.
Darby took her seat and sipped her wine before asking, “How are you doing?”
Jade shrugged one shoulder as she returned her gaze to the flames. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel terrible for pushing Liam away. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until it was too late. No,” she immediately conceded, “that’s not true. I did realize I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop myself.” She blew out a long, heavy sigh. “I was debating texting him, but I don’t know what to say. He’s right. We do need to take this time apart. But I miss him already,” she added, her voice cracking.
Darby gave another soft smile. “Give it a day or two, Jade. Let him think about things too. You guys will work this out. I know you will. You’re too perfect together to let this keep you apart.”
A hint of a smile tugged at Jade’s lips but faded quickly. “I hope you’re right.”
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
“Thanks,” Jade said. Finally, she looked at Darby. “I don’t want to agree with you that we’re all falling apart. I’d much rather believe Taylor’s unusually optimistic approach that we’re growing, but it kind of feels like everything is going to hell in a burning handbasket, doesn’t it?”
Darby swallowed hard. “A little. I wish I could go back in time and put the toothpaste back in the bottle.” She knew she got the saying wrong, but she hoped to see Jade smile. Jade always smiled before gently correcting her when she misspoke.
However, Jade didn’t appear at all amused. She simply stared blankly as another big tear rolled down her cheek.
“Jade,” Darby practically begged, “things with Liam will work out. He cares about you so much. Everyone knows that.”
Jade’s chin quivered as she nodded. “I know. I know we’ll be okay.”
“So why are you sitting here beating yourself up like this?”
“Because I thought I was doing better than this about dealing with my divorce. I was doing better, but then Liam started pushing, and I got scared. Things have been awkward since he tried to kiss me the other day. I knew this was coming. I mean…I told him I needed time and he told me he couldn’t wait. And here we are. Over before we began.”
“You’re allowed to take time,” Darby said. “Don’t feel guilty about needing more time to get your footing.”
“Darby, I’ve had this wonderful man standing in front of me, waiting for me to take the next steps with him, and I keep looking back at the disaster I left behind. My ex has moved on. He’s remarried, for God’s sake, and here I am…clinging to the pain instead of letting it go and moving on. And that really is pathetic.”
“No, it isn’t,” Darby said, almost desperately.
Finally, Jade gave a soft laugh. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Like you said, this will work out. How are you?”
Darby wanted to push, but she bit her tongue. This was Jade’s heartache, and Darby couldn’t force her to deal with it if she wasn’t ready. Instead, Darby bit her lip hard as she considered how to answer that. “I’m torn. I’ve tried to make things right with Un-Do, and I know the next logical step is apologizing to the rest of the women I might have hurt, but I don’t know… Maybe Sue’s right. Maybe that isn’t enough. I want it to be enough, but…maybe it isn’t. Maybe the only way I can fix this is to walk away from it all and start something that hasn’t been tainted.”
Jade sat quietly for several heartbeats. “Do you understand why Sue is hurting?”
Yet another layer of shame washed over Darby as she again imagined how difficult it must have been for Sue to have had her nose rubbed in something that she undoubtedly had worked so hard to put behind her. “Yes. I do.”
“Did you mean it when you apologized to her?”
“Down to my soul.”
“Sometimes that has to be enough,” Jade offered. “She may never forgive you, Darby. And that’s her right. It’s her decision to hang on to that anger. You can’t make that go away. All you can do is move forward.”
“I guess that’s the problem. I don’t know how.”
&nb
sp; “You’ve taken the right steps. You’ve altered the website to post an apology to your customers and you’ve stated your intent to apologize to the rest of the brides who may have felt hurt by your site. That’s more than a lot of people would have done.”
She knew that to be true. She could have very easily ignored the nasty comments, let Jennifer Williams’s video add to the hits on her website, and kept going as she was. She hadn’t done that. As soon as she’d realized how offtrack she’d gotten, Darby had taken steps to correct the course. And that really was more than many would do. “I guess I’m still undecided on whether that’s enough or not.”
After sipping from the mug Darby had brought out, Jade asked, “Are you wondering if that’s enough because you feel bad or because you worry about what people are thinking about you?”
Darby slouched as she was reminded that the weight that had fallen onto her shoulders wasn’t only because she’d caused pain but because people were intentionally inflicting pain on her in response. “A lot of both, I guess. I understand why people want to say ugly things about me, but I wish they’d stop to consider they don’t have to. I’m sad enough without that. I hurt myself too. And I’m already embarrassed enough without them mocking me.”
“Why are you embarrassed?”
Darby shifted in her chair. “You know, I never even dated until my midtwenties. I was too awkward and weird. Mark Penn, the one I kind of vanished on, he was a loser, Jade. He was never going to do anything with his life, and I was smart enough to know he would have dragged me down with him. Not that I had a hell of a lot of potential back then.”
“Don’t cut yourself down.”
“I’m not. It’s true,” Darby said. “Back then, I was still hiding in the shadows because I didn’t want to be seen. That worked out really well with Mark because he didn’t want to put in the work of acknowledging me. But even as big of a loser as I was, I knew I deserved better than some beer-guzzling slob who refused to grow up. Maybe I didn’t handle breaking up with him well, but ending our relationship was the best thing I could have done. Nobody even got my side of the story. They listened to his fake sob story and decided I was the bad one.”
“But that doesn’t matter,” Jade insisted. “Not really. Does it?”
“I don’t want people thinking bad things about me. Especially when they aren’t true.” Darby frowned. “I’ve always hidden myself away, but now… For the first time in my life, I was comfortable in my skin. I liked who I was. I actually wanted people to see me.”
“But you’ve said the clothes and the hair were your armor. They weren’t seeing you. They were seeing your protective layers.”
She laughed dryly. “Yeah, because I know what people are like. I know how they can be. Look at the comments on my website,” she said as if that proved all she was saying. “That’s exactly why I’ve always been careful who sees the real me. But I was ready, Jade. I was ready to put myself out there and be me and…and then this happened. Maybe I shouldn’t care, but I do. I don’t want to be seen in the light that Jennifer presented me in, but I don’t know how to change it. If the apologies aren’t enough, then all that’s left is walking away.”
After staring into the fire for several moments, Jade blinked and then met Darby’s gaze. “People are going to see you how they choose to see you. Some will look at your style and see you as brave for being true to yourself. Some will see you as seeking attention. Others are going to see you as sad and broken and putting on a show. But you’re the one who has to live with who you really are. You’re the only one who can decide when you’ve done all you need to do to make this right.”
“I know.”
“But the fact that you’re concerned is growth,” Jade said. “I mean, you spent most of the last year tossing your cares to the wind. Taylor’s right when she says you’ve changed and grown. I wish you could see how much you’ve changed. You’ve really come a long way.”
“So have you,” Darby said with a weak smile. “Don’t give up on Liam,” she said around the lump in her throat. “Please, Jade. Not when he makes you so happy.”
Jade sipped her tea. “This is going to blow over someday, you know? My problems, yours, and Taylor’s. They’ll blow over and will be a part of the past. We’ll move beyond this, and life will feel normal again. I’m sure of that.”
“I hope so,” Darby said. “This feels like…”
“What?” Jade pressed when Darby let her words fade.
Darby swirled her wine, watching the firelight dance in the pale liquid. “When I was growing up, there weren’t a lot of other Hispanic kids in Chammont Point. Mom worked hard, but we were poor. My clothes were used and ratty. I couldn’t afford makeup or hair products. By the time I was in high school, I was overweight and had acne and frizzy hair I couldn’t tame. I was an easy target.”
After taking a gulp from her glass, Darby continued, “I know what it’s like to be bullied, Jade. I would never want to do that to someone, but I did. Not knowing that was what I was doing isn’t a good enough excuse, and I see that now. I should have thought about what I was doing from someone else’s point of view instead of wanting something funny to get hits on my page. I spent years trying to find a way to love myself after I was torn down to the core in school,” Darby said. “I finally did, and then I did something stupid, and all those old insecurities are coming to the surface. All of a sudden, I feel like Darby Pigmora again.”
“Did you say Darby Pigmora?” Jade asked softly.
Darby frowned. “That was my nickname.”
“Oh, honey,” Jade said. “I’m sorry for that.”
“I told you I was an easy target.” Darby took another drink of her wine. “I never thought I’d be on the giving side of this kind of treatment. I’m so disappointed in myself.”
“Darby,” Jade pressed, “I know this is hard, but I really want you to take a minute to recognize your growth and the steps you’ve taken to make this right. I realize it doesn’t feel like enough, but you have done so much, and you deserve credit for that.”
“I—” Darby started after a moment.
“Stop,” Jade insisted. “Look at me.”
Sitting taller to clearly see Jade over the flames, Darby stared into her eyes.
“You have taken the appropriate steps to correct your mistake. You have done what you can to make amends to someone you unintentionally caused pain. You are a wonderful person.”
Though it was slower to fill her heart than usual, Jade’s kind words finally chipped away some of the self-loathing that had been oozing from Darby’s soul. “Thank you. But now I have to decide if that is enough. If that is all I can and should do. And then,” she said and frowned, “I have to decide the right thing to do with my boutique. Once I do that, I have to work up the courage to do it.”
She gulped the rest of her wine because she suspected that was going to be even harder.
Eleven
Darby watched curiously as Jade slipped into her kayak and paddled out of the cove early the next morning. Jade spent every morning, weather permitting, out on the lake. This was her morning routine. The curious part was that Liam wasn’t sitting at the mouth of the larger body of water waiting for her.
Jade lacked her usual fervor as she cut through the water and disappeared into the distance. Her movements were slower, less enthusiastic. Her posture wasn’t as erect and her movements not as confident as they normally would be. It was clear that Jade was still feeling depressed about her relationship with Liam.
Darby hated seeing her friend so sad. She wished she could do something for her, but she understood her need to have some time while dealing with her feelings. Her divorce had done a number on her, and she deserved to take the time to heal. But Darby also understood Liam’s side of things. He clearly wanted to be with Jade, and he’d been waiting so long. Darby could see why he was ready to take the next steps.
Why the hell did everything have to be so complicated all the damn time?
She deserved a chance. They all deserved a chance. Every one of them.
Frowning, she considered how much things had changed since Jade and Taylor had come into her life.
Last summer had been the best summer Darby could remember. They’d gone on adventures and spent so much time sitting around the fire pit talking that she’d feared they’d run out of topics. Everything was fun and exciting, and now…now everything felt like one disaster snowballing into the next until they were all buried under an avalanche of problems.
She wanted things to go back to how they were. Back before her boutique took over her life, Taylor’s job insecurities ruled her mind, and before Jade and Liam started dancing around their feelings for each other.
And definitely back before Darby ran her damn mouth about other people’s personal lives when she shouldn’t have.
The weight of the world settled over Darby. Her role wasn’t usually the one of fixer, but as she stood there watching Jade paddle away, she wished she could make Jade see that Liam wasn’t like her ex. She wished she could make Taylor see how valuable she was as a friend and a contractor. More than anything, Darby wished she could take back the hurt she’d caused so many people.
Tears pricked Darby’s eyes, and her lip trembled as she sank down to sit on her stairs.
She was distracted from her looping thoughts when a door slammed. Turning enough to see Taylor walking away from her truck, Darby wiped her cheeks dry and took a few deep breaths. In true Taylor fashion, she was bringing coffees and a green tea for Jade to try to start their day on the right foot. Which seemed impossible lately.