by K C West
Let’s face it, that would be the least embarrassing way out for both of us.
“I wonder what you would do, Marna, in these same circumstances?”
I got up and waited until I was outside the cave before brushing the dust off my pants.
I returned to the tent and gathered some scribbled notes together, picked up my laptop, and a bottle of water to take outside where I could sit in the sunshine and start working on a report I needed to prepare for Frederick.
“Oh Geez!”
I stepped outside and found myself face to face with PJ. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked as though she had been crying. I could see she hadn’t slept.
“Kim, uh … I have to apologize …”
“I didn’t expect to see you this morning.”
PJ teetered from one foot to the other. “I didn’t know if you’d be here, but I had to come … to try to explain.”
She was struggling with herself, and I wouldn’t or couldn’t help her.
I wanted more than anything to reach for her and hold her and tell her that I wanted her more than she could ever imagine. But I was terrified of what would happen if I gave in to my feelings. I closed my eyes and pushed away the desire that threatened to get the better of me.
“Kim, are you listening to me?”
“Sorry, I was distracted.”
“You sure as hell were.” PJ was angry and embarrassed. “I’m trying to explain my actions. This is important to me.”
I took a step backwards, widening the distance between us.
“There’s no need to explain …”
“I don’t know what got into me. I guess it was the dinner, the wine, the comfortable surroundings, our being together in an intimate setting. It was all those things plus—”
“Stop!”
“What’s the matter?”
“You’re babbling.” I resorted to my ‘take charge’ mode. “We have to sit and talk this out like adults.”
PJ took a deep breath and gave me a faint smile. “Earl Grey?”
I chuckled. “PJ, what the hell am I going to do with you? Sure, I could use a second cup.”
I followed PJ into the tent where she immediately busied herself with the tea kettle. My mind whirled like a tornado destroying all rational thought. Soon she handed me my cup and wrestled with the bent cookie tin lid.
“Here,” I said, putting my tea down and taking the tin from her. “You have to handle it gently, like this.” The lid came off easily.
“You’ll have to show me how.”
“Grip this corner and pull it sideways like this and it’ll—”
“Kim.”
“Mmm.”
“I’m not talking about the damn cookie tin lid.”
I found it difficult to ignore what I thought to be a direct invitation.
My lack of response brought her again close to tears. I didn’t want her to cry.
“PJ, let me explain something. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to be with you, but this curiosity of yours … this experimenting is not—”
“Curiosity! That’s the second time you’ve intimated that, and damn it, it’s not true.”
“But why else would you …?”
PJ put her teacup down on the table beside her chair. She turned her back to me. “You really do think I’m just curious … that I would use you like some guinea pig?”
“Yes, I do. Why else…?”
I was angry again though I had no reason to be. We were both being confrontational, which, I thought, stemmed from our mutual embarrassment and the fact that this was a live performance with no rehearsal time.
PJ whirled around to face me. “You think,” she pointed an accusatory finger at me, “that because I know you’re gay that I want to play the game, too? Maybe add another, a different kind of trophy to my experience. Is that it?”
“That’s about it.”
“Did it ever occur to you that it might be something else? That I might be attracted to you, that I might have fallen in love with you?”
I sat, unable to move or speak, just staring at PJ and trying to absorb what she had said.
“Say something, damn it!” PJ ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m standing here, declaring my heart to you, and you just sit there with your mouth hanging open.”
“But, you’re straight… for gawd’s sake.”
“How do you know what I am?” PJ stood with her hands on her hips and a look of defiance on her face. “You’re so damn busy thinking about yourself, your reputation, the project, and God knows what else. You’ve never taken the time to see who I am.”
She picked up her teacup and took a sip. “Damn tea’s cold.” She slammed her cup down shattering it. “Oh, shit!”
“Don’t worry, it’s not our best china.”
PJ attempted to smile but despite her struggle to keep control, tears washed it away.
Breaking the awkward silence that followed, I asked, “So who are you?”
“I’m a woman who finally knows what she wants. Amazing, I know. All this time, I’ve chased after men, looking for comfort, fulfillment, and the answer to my purpose in life. I never imagined that it could be any different.”
She sniffed and took a deep breath. “And then, I learned that you were starting up a project here in Arizona. The great Kim Blair was going to work for my father’s foundation. I knew you were one of the finest archaeologists in the world and that you’d make a superb mentor, if you’d give me half a chance.”
She wiped tears from her cheeks and paced back and forth in front of me. “So, I asked, no I begged my father to let me come here to work with you. Little did I know that you would befriend me and give me the power to act as a professional … to even lead a project for a time. You made me visible, Kim. You forgave my stupid mistakes and you believed in me. I was so grateful.”
Her voice cracked, but she continued. “We became good friends. We talked, we laughed, and we worked together. When bad things happened, we consoled each other. Believe me, I wish I could have kept my feelings at that level … kept us friends. But, it grew into more than that. I can’t imagine my life now without you in it, Kim. I want us to be more than friends. I think of you all the time…”
She glanced at me and bit down on her lower lip. Tears made her eyes luminous. “I want you … physically … I didn’t ask for it to happen and I know it isn’t the best time to be telling you all this, but I can’t help myself. I’m so sorry, but I’ve fallen in love with you.”
PJ’s lips trembled and she lost her battle with the tears. She turned on her heels and left the tent.
“Wait!” I followed her outside. She was striding toward the cave.
I caught up to her, grabbed her upper arms and whirled her around.
“You’re hurting me,” she cried.
I let her go, but prepared to grab her again if she turned her back on me. “I’m not through talking to you.”
PJ rubbed her upper arms. “How am I going to explain the bruises?”
I couldn’t resist a smile. “I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
“I guess I can’t claim sexual harassment since I was the one who came on to you.”
I sighed. Her flippancy was getting in the way of rational thought. “This is a serious discussion, PJ.”
She bent her head and kept her eyes focused on the ground. “I’m sorry, Kim. I tend to make jokes when I’m nervous.” Her head came up. “You have my full attention.”
“I’m sorry, too, PJ. I didn’t intend to make light of your feelings.”
I paused, not wanting my emotions controlling my words.
If you only knew how often …
Voices broke the tension of the moment, the stillness that was pulling us together.
“Shit!” I looked at PJ.
She covered her face with both hands. “Oh, gawd, I wasn’t expecting them … not today.”
“Neither was I.”
“Good Morning, Doc, PJ,” S
andy said. The others were straggling into camp behind him.
Of all the inopportune times …
I stepped in front of PJ so she could wipe her eyes and pull herself together.
“What are you all doing here?” I asked, as my people were removing their packs and jackets and dropping them beside their favorite tree, shrub, or boulder. “I thought I gave you the weekend off?”
“We got together and decided,” Sandy said, “that we’d prefer to be on-site doing something constructive than messing around in town.”
“Yeah,” Josie said, “we’d just get to drinking and stuff with the boys if we hung around with nothing better to do.”
“Besides,” Laine pointed to the cooler still strapped on her back. “We talked the people at the hotel into fixing us turkey sandwiches and pumpkin pie. We have enough to feed a small army.”
“And Sandy brought some of his mother’s home baked cookies,” James said. “We can have a picnic.”
PJ moved around me and started toward the group.
“PJ, our discussion is not over with.”
She looked back at me for a moment. “Later then.”
It was Sandy who asked, and who it seemed was always looking out for PJ’s welfare, “PJ, are you okay, you look like you’ve been crying?”
“It’s nothing,” she said off-handedly. “I had a go around with Father on the telephone. I was just talking to Kim about it.”
She put her hand behind her back, appearing to fiddle with her belt, but I noticed the crossed fingers … she was taking no chances with a white lie to get out of this jam.
I noticed Josie looking a little too intently at PJ.
What, if anything, does she know?
Everyone else seemed to accept PJ’s explanation on face value.
PJ seemed not to notice. She went to help Laine take the cooler off her back.
“You guys are too much,” PJ said, as she placed the red and white cooler on the ground beside a large boulder.
Laine shrugged her shoulders and stretched her upper body after being relieved of the weight. “Well, when we looked into your bedroom and saw that you were gone already, we figured you’d be up here.”
“We called Kim’s motor home first to see if by chance you were there,” Josie said, still scrutinizing PJ’s facial expression.
“And when you weren’t,” Laine said, “we were sure you’d be here. That’s when we came up with the idea for an after Thanksgiving picnic and called the guys to join us.”
“And that,” Josie said, as she neatly rolled up the straps that had held the cooler in place on Laine’s back, “after what you did … the dinner and sharing your suite and all … well, we wanted to do something for you. The picnic lunch seemed like a good idea.”
“You’re the greatest,” PJ said.
“And you’re okay?” The inflection in Josie’s voice indicated that the compliment was in fact a question.
“I’m fine,” PJ said. “You know how it is when I talk to Father … we’re not always on the same wavelength.”
While PJ had been talking with Laine and Josie, the fellows had lunch spread out on a blue and white checkered tablecloth that Sandy had borrowed from his mother. They had packed in some beer. There were still plenty of soft drinks in the tent.
We sat on the ground, in a roughly formed circle around the brightly colored picnic tablecloth.
Stephen had referred to my people as a rag-tag bunch of airheads. To me, they made up the best crew I had ever had the pleasure of working with … they were the greatest.
“Sandy,” I said, “your mother isn’t going to be happy about her tablecloth being spread on this dusty ground. Couldn’t you find something in plastic?”
He grinned. “I can wash it and even iron it if necessary.”
“Mmm,” Josie said, her eyes sparkling, “you’re going to make someone a good husband.”
Sandy grinned sheepishly.
Even though food was the last thing on my mind, the sandwiches were delicious.
PJ sat, as she usually did, beside me, but she avoided my eyes.
What would have happened, I wonder, if the crew had not arrived when they did?
We had finished eating and were in various stages of gathering up the empty soft drink cans, bottles, paper plates and utensils when we heard the first faint rumble before all hell broke loose.
The ground rolled like an angry sea. The noise was fearsome as an avalanche of rock rolled down the hillside. I had been standing, but I couldn’t keep my balance and fell to the ground. I tried to get up and fell again.
PJ, who had been on her knees gathering up the tablecloth, dropped it and reached for me. Pup, who had been restless all morning, perhaps for reasons of animal intuition, tried to crawl between us. When the violent motion subsided, we were battered and bruised. I covered my mouth against the choking dust and indicated to PJ that she should do the same. She seemed to be in shock until I took her hand and pushed it to her face.
“This was no aftershock,” I whispered into PJ’s ear, “it was the main event.”
Her look was not kind. “I should have left during the overture.”
“You okay?” I asked, seeing the panic in her eyes.
“Apart from being scared shitless, you mean?”
I noticed a red stain on her shirtsleeve. “You’re bleeding.”
“A rock glanced off my forearm.”
“Let me see,” She rolled up her sleeve. I checked for a break. “It doesn’t appear serious, but the skin is broken. I’ll get some antiseptic from the first aid kit.”
“You will? Have you looked at the tent lately?”
I turned in that direction. “Oh, my gawd!” The tent and the Peepee Tepee were buried under the rockslide.
“I have water here in my bottle, let me wash it…”
“Save it. What about you? You’re bloody, too.”
“Nothing serious … just some cuts and bruises. Some of your blood got on me so it looks worse than it is. We’d better check on the others.”
Sandy’s pants were torn and his leg was bleeding.
“Let me check that,” Laine said. She appeared to be unscathed.
“Nah, it’s okay, just a superficial cut.”
I walked over to where Dewey was applying a crude splint of sticks to Lewis’s lower leg.
“Let me see,” I said, dropping to one knee.
“I don’t feel a break,” I said, after feeling along the bone.
“It hurts like hell.”
“I suppose it could be a hairline fracture, so I’d go with the splint until you can get it checked by a doctor.”
“Good work,” I said, turning to Dewey. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, Doc, just bruised is all.”
Sandy was attending to a cut on Josie’s forehead. Like all head wounds, it was bleeding profusely, but when I examined it, the wound appeared superficial. Josie was relishing Sandy’s attention so I left them to it.
A rock had bounced off Donny’s shoulder creating a sizable bruise. Nothing appeared broken and Laine was applying ice from the cooler, which was lying on its side in the dirt. It seemed to me that it was only moments ago it had being filled with delicious sandwiches and pumpkin pie.
After checking on the humans, I took time to examine Pup. I was happy to see that he had weathered the quake and the slide without injury. He remained unsettled though and kept rubbing his shoulders against my thigh. I can’t explain why I took that moment to think about his size, but I did. He was big and he was powerful, but his need of me right now was that of a small, frightened child. No matter where I moved he was right there.
PJ had gathered herself together and was making the rounds … checking on everyone.
“It’s okay, fella,” I said, kneeling beside Pup and hugging him to me. “You’re okay … we’re all okay.”
“Doc,” Sandy called from behind me.
“Yeah.”
“It’s gone, Doc.” His voice
was hushed. I turned. He was pointing toward the small canyon and the cave, Site One. “The cave is gone, buried under hundreds of tons of rock.”
No one said a word. We all stood there, just staring at what used to be a small canyon. The landscape was unrecognizable.
I looked at PJ.
Her eyes were round and wide. “I don’t believe it, Kim. I’m so sorry … so incredibly sorry.”
A huge sense of loss enveloped me and yet, at the same time, a fleeting sense of closure.
“Let’s just be thankful we weren’t working there,” I said, scanning the distraught faces of my crew.
“I know,” Laine said, “but the Amazons…”
“They’re where they belong … better that than being separated and ending up in glass cases somewhere.”
PJ stifled a sob. I went to her and put my arm around her shoulder. “It’s all right, really.”
I don’t know how long we stood, all of us, trying to comprehend the enormity of the disaster and the changes it would mean for all of us.
I looked up toward Site Two. It, too, had been obliterated.
So this is how it ends … the years of searching for the Lost Tribe.
They were here for an instant in their time and returned in our time, just long enough to reveal their secrets. But, this is not all there is. We’re connected with our past more than we know … a past that spans the centuries.
Chapter Twenty
“Doctor Blair! Is anyone hurt?” Sean Jackson arrived slightly ahead of his partner, Diego Rodriguez. The two security guards carried first aid kits, picks, shovels and machetes when they rushed into camp.
“Are we ever glad to see you,” Kim told them. “Take a look at Lewis’s leg. It may be broken. Otherwise, I think we just have a lot of cuts and bruises.”
While they worked, the men related what they had heard on their portable radio. The ground-rolling, rock-shattering event that had brought us to our knees was an earthquake measuring an unofficial 8.4 on the Richter scale. Jackson and Rodriguez had left their post immediately to assist us, but were forced to blaze a new trail from their hut to our working site. It had taken them over an hour to reach us.
