Washed Up

by Tom Nicoll

  The boar began circling the base, grunting furiously up at me. Ignoring him, I continued to climb. After a few careful minutes I reached the hole and put my hand inside.

  Nothing.

  I moaned in frustration. Suddenly I saw something appear at my side and cried out in fright as I momentarily lost my footing. For a second I thought it was El Demonio himself, a flying boar come to finish me off. Then I realized that it was the drone, zooming in closer to get a better look.

  Once I had regained my balance it occurred to me that I now had two big problems. One was finding the artefact. The other was getting down from this tree alive. I had no idea how I was going to do either.

  “Hey! Looking for this?”

  I gazed down as Milo stepped into the clearing. He was holding something in the air. Something golden. I couldn’t make out what it was exactly but I knew it had to be the artefact.

  “Where did you get that?” I shouted.

  “From the tree,” Milo called back. “It was in that hole right by you.”

  I couldn’t believe it. So while I had been tripping over boars, Milo had had a clear run to retrieve the artefact.

  “I was heading back but then I heard you cry out,” he said.

  I wanted to shout at him but I couldn’t even find the words.

  Then Milo spoke again. “Look, he’s not moving.”

  He was right. Despite now having a far easier target in Milo, El Demonio was still grunting in my direction. The pig wasn’t remotely interested in anyone but me.

  “Go away, you pest!” I shouted.

  Milo approached the boar with caution but there was really no need. “Clearly it’s you he wants,” said Milo. “Maybe he fancies you.”

  “Well, obviously I’m flattered,” I said. “But I’m really not interested.”

  “What do you have that I don’t?” muttered Milo.

  “A killer smile?” I suggested. “A winning personality? Good looks?”

  “No, none of those,” said Milo, shaking his head. “Of course … the bags! What’s in yours?”

  Gripping the branch tight with one hand, I slipped off my backpack and unzipped it. I almost fell out of the tree anyway when I saw what was inside.

  “It’s full of meat,” I shouted. “Sausages, burgers, there’s even some steaks!”

  Milo unzipped his own bag. “I’ve just got some bottled water and a few protein bars.”

  “So that’s why he’s chasing me,” I said. “He can smell the meat.”

  “It was on your back,” said Milo. “Couldn’t you smell it too?”

  “I… Well… I haven’t exactly been smelling my best lately,” I admitted. “We don’t all have showers in our camp.”

  “Right,” said Milo. “Well, chuck your bag down and we can get out of here.”

  “Gladly,” I said, flinging the backpack as far as I could. It landed with a meaty splat somewhere in the jungle. With a triumphant snort, El Demonio disappeared after it, allowing me to climb down.

  As I reached the bottom Milo held out his hand to help me but I refused it.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “What’s wrong?” I repeated. “Someone just tried to get me killed.”

  “We need to get to the bottom of this,” said Milo.

  “What, like how we got to the bottom of what happened to Lexi’s barrel?” I snapped. “Still, I suppose it worked out for you.”

  “What are you talking about?” asked Milo.

  “Well, you won, didn’t you?” I said. “Cheating didn’t work with Lexi but it worked this time.”

  Milo frowned. “You think I knew about it?”

  “I don’t know what you know these days.” I shrugged. “But I do know you’re best pals with Cruul.”

  Milo blushed and looked away.

  I could see that the drone was capturing all of this on film but by this point I didn’t care.

  “He’s going to be your new manager, isn’t he?” I said. “Hang on, is that why you sent me to your camp? So I’d find the contract and you wouldn’t have to break it to me yourself.”

  “What?” Milo said. “I didn’t tell you to go to our camp.”

  “Not in so many words,” I said. “But it was obvious what you meant.”

  Milo shook his head. “I think being on this island’s screwing with your head,” he said, walking away.

  “Yeah, well, we would have been going home right now if you hadn’t taken the artefact.”

  Milo stopped and turned round. He held out his palm to show me the artefact. It was a little golden insect of some kind. Milo opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it. Then he turned on his heel and stormed off.

  “I hope you and your mate Nigel enjoy your prize, because it’s the last one you’ll be winning!” I shouted after him.

  Voice: Sam, we can only apologize for what happened.

  Sam: Someone tried to kill me!

  Voice: That’s a bit over the top. The boar was only interested in the food. You would have been fine. Probably.

  Sam: Well, someone definitely tried to kill Lexi.

  Voice: We’ve found no evidence to support that. It looks like it was just a faulty barrel.

  Sam: And Zizi? She was bitten by a snake.

  Voice: Yes, well, snakes do that kind of thing. We were under the impression that all the snakes in the pool had had their venom removed. But due to an unfortunate admin error—

  Sam: It’s getting ridiculous.

  Voice: We understand your concerns, Sam, and will endeavour to make sure that the next event is much safer.

  Sam: Good!

  We got our first taste of rain that night. And when I say rain, I’m not talking about the sort of annoying drizzle I was used to back home. This rain was like being under attack by the skies themselves. There was no chance of another trip into the jungle tonight. Lexi and I had taken shelter in my tent and our mood matched the weather.

  “I can’t believe you flipped out on Milo,” said Lexi. “He was so upset when he got back. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

  “Yeah, well, he’s changed, hasn’t he?” I said.

  “Milo’s not changed,” she said. “You’re the one who’s turned into an idiot.”

  “Me?” I said in disbelief. “He’s the one signing up with Cruul.”

  Lexi laughed. “Of course he’s not.”

  “How do you know that?” I asked.

  “Because there’s no way,” she said.

  “So why didn’t he turn Cruul down on the spot?” I said.

  “Probably because things were awkward enough thanks to you without Milo embarrassing Cruul in front of everyone,” she said.

  Oh. That did actually make some sense.

  “I am a bit of an idiot, aren’t I?” I said.

  “A little,” she said. “You’d better apologize to him.”

  “I will.” I sighed.

  The weather had cleared up by the following morning and thoughts returned to the next Elimination Challenge. It was the waiting around that was always the worst part. It didn’t get any better knowing that this time I was definitely going to be nominated. There wasn’t much I could do to prepare but I did at least consider how I was going to pass the Time-Out device on to Lexi if I lost the challenge. I figured I could probably slip it into her hand while giving her a goodbye hug. I tried not to think too hard about how much it was going to hurt to pull it out of my hair.

  Lexi spent most of the day in the diary shed, which was unusual for her. Knowing Lexi, she probably had a lot bottled up and had finally decided to release some of it. I decided not to ask her about it when she came back.

  It was almost a relief when it was time for the challenge. On the way to the cave, Lexi bombarded me with tips on how to defend myself, should the need arise. She was just explaining the finer points of flying kicks as we entered the chamber.

  “Height is crucial so you’ll really want to push off with your knees and…”
said Lexi, trailing off as we realized that the only other people here were Milo and Cruul. It wasn’t unusual for Ronald and Donald to be absent but there were normally crew around setting things up.

  I glanced over at Milo. I wanted to apologize but not with Cruul there.

  “All right?” I asked him as we took our seats.

  Milo grunted in reply, which resulted in a thin smile creeping across the face of Cruul.

  “Oh dear,” he said. “Not speaking?”

  “Shut up,” I said.

  “Yeah, shut up,” said Lexi. “Where is everyone, anyway?”

  “There was some kind of problem with their equipment,” said Milo. “I offered to take a look but they said it was fine.”

  Wow. A technical fault that wasn’t my fault. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

  “Keeping out of trouble?” asked Cruul finally.

  “Are you?” I said.

  “Of course. I’m a reformed character now, remember,” he said, smiling that thin smile of his.

  “How’s your ankle?” asked Lexi sarcastically.

  “Oh yes, much better, thank you,” said Cruul. “How’s your mum and dad?”

  In another lifetime Nigel Cruul had been the manager of our parents’ band 2-Incredible, a fact that sent a shiver down my spine whenever I thought about it.

  “Don’t you bring up our parents,” warned Lexi. “If you think my mum throws a mean punch, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

  Cruul smiled wearily, giving his jaw a thoughtful rub as he did so. “I imagine they’re not best pleased right now.”

  Lexi and I looked at each other in confusion. “About what?” I asked.

  “Having to find a new member for Aftermath,” he said. “Of course, I know better than anyone about the pains of having to find replacements.”

  “Replacements?” I said. “Who’s leaving Aftermath?”

  Cruul sighed. “Milo, obviously. That’s why he turned down my offer. All the gossip sites figured he was about to announce he’s going solo when really he’s getting out of the industry altogether.”

  Milo scowled at Cruul. “That’s not why I turned you down,” he said. “And I asked you not to say anything…”

  Cruul waved him away. “Sammy was going to find out,” he said. “And besides, I thought he was your best friend. Shouldn’t he have been the first person you told?” Cruul paused. “Ohhh, that’s right, I forgot. It was Sammy who put the band together in the first place, wasn’t it? So it’s kind of his band in a way. Yes, I can see now why that would be difficult. Darn. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “You’re quitting the band?” I said.

  As Milo opened his mouth to reply the chamber suddenly started filling up. Ronald and Donald made their way to the stage while the crew quickly got their cameras set up, directed by the ever-stressed Karen.

  “Sorry for the delay, everyone,” she said. “Technical problems. All sorted now but we’ll have to speed things up since we’re supposed to be going out live right now. Cameras rolling? Let’s do this.”

  “Hello and welcome,” said Donald. “Sorry for the late start but we’re all good now and ready to announce the contestants for today’s Elimination Challenge. We’re down to the final four. So without further ado, the person who received the most number of votes to be eliminated from Team Accelerate is… Nigel!”

  I watched Cruul join the hosts on the stage but all I could think about was what I had just heard. Milo was quitting Aftermath? But being in the band was his dream. And he was so talented. What reason could he possibly have to leave?

  “And joining Nigel today from Team Ellipsis is…” announced Ronald.

  This must have been what my mum had meant when she asked if Milo had spoken to me yet. But Cruul had a point, I should have been one of the first to know about it, not the last.

  “…Lexi!”

  To have to hear it from Nigel Cruul of all people. What was Milo thinking? And—

  I looked up. “Wait … did he just say Lexi?”

  My head was spinning. There had to be some mistake. After all that had happened, how could the public vote for Lexi over me?

  Lexi was grinning sheepishly. “Don’t get mad,” she said. “But I might have spent most of today inside the diary shed saying offensive things to get people to vote for me.”

  “Like what?” I said.

  “Oh, you know.” She shrugged. “Dogs and cats are both rubbish. Aftermath’s music stinks. I even weighed in on which were the best Star Wars movies.”

  “Come on, Lexi,” said Ronald. “We’re in a rush.”

  “Why would you do that?” I asked.

  Lexi leaned in and put her hands over our mics. “Because it needs to be you that makes it to the end,” she whispered. “If the Horsewomen come back, you need to be here to stop them.”

  Lexi let go of the mics and got to her feet. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ve got it. Cruul’s going down.”

  This didn’t feel right. I had broken into Cruul’s tent and fallen out with my best friend and one of the biggest pop stars going. Surely none of the things Lexi had said could be worse than that? The show was starting to feel like another rigged contest in my favour. In my head I could hear Zizi calling me the Chosen One.

  I was still mulling things over as I followed the others outside towards an open-air truck. Once we’d all crammed in, the truck hurtled down the beach towards an expanse of grass.

  The truck came to a stop and we all climbed out. Parked next to us were two quad bikes.

  Lexi let out a squeal of delight. “NO WAY!”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” said Cruul. “Another race?”

  “That’s right, Nigel, another race!” said a gleeful Donald. “Except this one—”

  “Let me guess, it’s unlike the others?” Cruul yawned.

  “Well … yes,” said Donald, looking a little annoyed. “But perhaps not in the way you’d expect. It’s a straight-up race. No gimmicks, no creatures and no chance of one of you being killed.”

  “Since there seems to be a rumour going around that we’re trying to bump you all off,” said Ronald with a nervous laugh.

  The presenters explained the rules. The track was basically a circuit around the grass, the start and finish being where the two vehicles were parked. Lexi had already claimed one of the bikes and was admiring it with the same giddiness as the time she spotted Jason Statham in Argos.

  “This is completely unfair,” complained Cruul. “I’m a full-grown man and she’s an eleven-year-old girl. What about the weight difference?”

  “You’ll be putting on even more weight soon,” said Lexi. “From all my dirt you’re about to be eating.”

  “Yes, very good,” said Cruul drily.

  “Sorry, Nigel, but we only have the two bikes,” said Ronald. “So it’s that, or you walk.”

  Cruul sighed. “Very well.”

  He mounted his bike and they both put on their helmets.

  “Good luck, Lexi,” I said.

  “Don’t need it, but thanks,” she said.

  Ronald and Donald counted down, the engines roared into life and they were off.

  Buzzing like hornets, the bikes cut across the grass. As Cruul predicted, the advantage was Lexi’s. After just a few seconds she had pulled a metre or so in front. Cruul had his foot to the floor but it didn’t seem to matter, there was no catching Lexi. As she turned the corner at the other end of the field I breathed a sigh of relief. Lexi was right. She had this.

  “Isn’t this exciting,” said Ronald. “No deadly animals or gross things to eat or drink. Just two quad bikes driving about for a bit. Thrilling stuff.”

  “Live TV at its finest, mate,” said Donald sarcastically. “You know half the audience will have switched over by now?”

  “Only half?” said Ronald. “That’s optimistic. Still, at least we’re nice and safe now. Wouldn’t want anyone to think we’re out to get them.”

  I could fe
el their eyes burning holes in the side of my head as I watched Lexi pass the halfway point, a comfortable few bike lengths ahead of Cruul.

  “Are they finished yet?” asked Donald.

  “Almost,” said Ronald as Lexi swerved round the final bend and into the home straight.

  “Good,” said Donald. “This is the most boring thing I’ve been involved in since that time we presented the National Pebble Collectors’ Awards.”

  “I liked that,” mumbled Ronald.

  “Come on, Lexi!” I shouted as she approached the finishing line. It was going to take something pretty epic going wrong to stop her now. Like her getting struck by lightning or Cruul’s quad bike turning out to have a secret hyperdrive or—

  KABOOOOOOM!

  The back of Lexi’s quad exploded, flipping it into the air.

  Yes, something like that would do it.

  I let out a shout as Lexi hit the grass with a thud. Without thinking, I found myself sprinting towards her. I barely even registered Cruul as his bike sped past, only realizing afterwards that he must have come within millimetres of hitting me. Crossing the field seemed to take forever. Finally I dropped to the ground beside her. Through the visor in Lexi’s helmet I saw her blinking and relief poured through me.

  “Are you all right?” I said. “Sorry, stupid question. Where are you hurt?”

  “Ahhh,” she moaned. “It’s my arm. I think I’ve broken it. What happened?”

  “There was some kind of explosion on the back of your bike,” said Milo, hurrying over.

  “Someone put a bomb on it?” I gasped.

  “A mechanical fault seems more likely,” said Milo, “but I don’t really see how—”

  “Why don’t we leave that to the experts to figure out,” said Ronald as a couple of crew members pulled us away. The doctor strode past, accompanied by a couple of large men carrying a stretcher.

  “They got here pretty fast,” noted Milo.

  “We’ll get you patched up in no time, Lexi,” said Donald.