When Glass Shatters

by J. P. Grider

  She dumped the old water out of the tea kettle, washed it, and filled it with fresh water. It wasn’t as if she was really going to miss the pretentious coffee machine anyway.

  As the water came to a boil, Lorraine reclined on the couch, Sunny on her lap, and closed her eyes for a few minutes to enjoy the quiet before getting ready for school. Until she heard the rumble of a motorcycle engine. More curious than she wanted to be, she ran to the side window and saw that tall dark-haired girl Sofia lowering Noah’s helmet onto her head just before she leaned forward and rested her chin against Noah’s shoulder. They tore off out of the driveway. Lorraine no longer felt like closing her eyes and enjoying the quiet. Her mind wouldn’t allow her to escape the sudden noise in her head anyway. Why she let that disagreeable donkey get under her skin, she’d no idea.

  Her morning tea now warm in her belly, her hair and body washed and dried, her teeth brushed and rinsed, Lorraine left for school, her dog snuggled in his little bed, her teenage siblings lazily sleeping. Dean met her at the coffee shop right before class.

  “So, what’s the deal with your stepbrother?”

  Lorraine cringed at Dean’s words. “Deal?”

  “Well, I wanted to say something last night, but it wasn’t really my place. But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it all night.” He sighed.

  Lorraine quietly panicked.

  “Something going on between you two?”

  “What?” she asked, stalling for an answer, not too surprised by his accusation.

  “‘Cause that’d be gross, Rainy.”

  “Thanks, Dean.” She tried to tamp down the sudden nausea she was feeling.

  “Is there?” he asked in a way that told her he hadn’t really thought it true until just now.

  “No. God. No. What kind of question is that?”

  “A valid one considering the tension I felt when he walked in.”

  “Dean, just, just stop. Okay? God.”

  When she looked up at Dean, he was looking down at her, his forehead crinkled. “There is, isn’t there. God, Lorraine, I thought...nevermind. We’re late for class.”

  The rest of the day, Dean pouted as he barely said a word to her. When she asked if he was coming over to study, since tomorrow was their big Anatomy & Physiology test, he said, “No. I can’t.”

  “But we were supposed to—”

  “I know what we were supposed to do, Lorraine, but plans change.”

  Lorraine? He never called her Lorraine. “What the hell, Dean? Are you serious? You’re doing this ‘cause you think I’m fooling around with Noah? That’s just bullcrap.”

  “Is it, Lorraine? Is it bullcrap? Or bullshit? Because I thought there was something between us?”

  Us? “What?”

  He stopped mid-walk and turned to look directly at her. Moving his finger between her and himself, he said, “You and me. Us. I thought we were going somewhere.”

  She looked up at him stupefied. “Really?”

  He scoffed and went back to walking.

  Lorraine grabbed his arm and stopped him. “There’s nothing going on between me and Noah. I swear.” She was lying, yes, but not really—currently, there really was nothing going on. It was a one-time thing and that was over the moment it started.

  “No?”

  “No.” She turned up her lip, wanting to smile at the fact that Dean liked her.

  “So,” he shrugged, “It’s okay to assume something’s going on between you and me?”

  She nodded on a smile. Dean was a good guy. He was low-key and laid back. Kind and compassionate. And rarely ever moody. And today? Today, she found out that he was also jealous. That was kind of flattering.

  He took her hand, and as they walked, he said, “I’m sorry I accused you of doing something so unethical. I guess I was just jealous.”

  Again, she nodded and smiled, but inside, her stomach churned. Unethical? Was it really unethical to have a thing for the stepbrother she’d only met once, before their whole worlds came crashing down? Lorraine had to admit—she didn’t think so.

  ***

  Noah kept away from the main house as much as possible the past week. Since Norah and Carter didn’t have school, he didn’t have to go in and make sure they got on the bus in time. Nor did he have to check whether they were doing their homework or not. So, he wasted the week screwing Sofia at night and doing virtually nothing during the day. He was a college dropout who didn’t even have a paycheck to call his own. And to top it off, he couldn’t stop thinking about the one girl he shouldn’t have been thinking about. The girl who’d made it clear to him that he had only been a sexual frolic and nothing more.

  Damn. Why’d he still have these feelings for her?

  It was Friday morning, after the lawyer had called him to come in, that he could no longer avoid Lorraine. He walked in through the back door and into an empty kitchen. “Lorraine?” he called, but Norah answered instead.

  “In here, No,” she called from the living room.

  “Hey, kiddo. How’s Spring Break going?” Noah took the recliner to the left of the couch where Norah was sitting. Sunny jumped off Norah’s lap and hopped up onto Noah’s. “Hey, buddy,” he said to the dog.

  “Eh. Boring.” Norah answered.

  “You didn’t do much?” he asked, enjoying the fuzzy dog’s new haircut under his fingers.

  “Nope. Hung out at Dunkin’ Donuts with Ashley and Kyle. That’s about it.”

  Reclining the chair, Noah stretched out his one arm and rested it behind his head. “Ashley and Kyle. These kids nice?”

  “Uh, yeah. Why?”

  “Maybe we should meet them, since you’re spending so much time with them.”

  “Yeah. Whatever.”

  “Well, yeah, whatever, I think it’s time. Anyway, Carter been going out?”

  “You asked me that two days ago when you called. He sleeps ‘til four then goes to the courts. He strolls in about nine, eats whatever Rain leaves for him on the stove and goes back to his room.”

  “And Lorraine’s okay with that?” Noah dropped his hand to his lap and sat up. “She doesn’t make him come in before dark?”

  “She tries. He doesn’t listen. I think she’s just giving up.”

  Shit. “Where’s she now?”

  “School.”

  “School. She gets to go to school and I have to stay here and play Father Knows Best?”

  Norah scoffed. “You’re kidding right? Father Knows Best? You haven’t been around at all, No. She’s around every single day. Making us dinner. Seeing if we’re okay. Having pizzas and chinese food delivered to us in the middle of the day, while she’s at school. She leaves us notes in the morning with money attached in case we need it. What have you done except pout in your little apartment and have sex with that Italian hussy who’s been staying over?”

  Noah started to speak but thought better of it. This did not sound like his sweet, soft-spoken sister. But she was absolutely right. “Oh, who the hell cares. I gave up school to be here, Norah. I gave up my entire fucking wrestling career to be here.”

  “Who asked you to?”

  There couldn’t have been a more perfect moment for Lorraine to walk through the front door.

  “She asked me to,” he said with contempt and a pointing finger. Sunny jumped off his lap and ran to his favorite person in the world.

  “I asked you to do what?”

  “You asked me to give up my fucking career to come here and take care of you all. You ruined my fucking life, Lorraine.”

  She dropped her backpack as she dropped her jaw. Sunny barked. “Oh my God.”

  “Why’d you ask Noah to come, Rain? We were doing okay without him. Weren’t we?”

  Lorraine took her time looking at Norah. She smiled, dropped her head, and sat down next to her, picking up Sunny and sitting him on her lap. Noah was already kicking himself for opening up his goddamn mouth.

  “Yes, Norah.” Lorraine patted Norah’s leg. “We were doing oka
y. But Carter wasn’t. I needed help with Carter, so I asked Noah to come help.” She paused before she said, “But he may as well go back to North Carolina, since he hasn’t been much help anyway,” Lorraine jeered, paying her attention to Noah.

  “What’s going on with you two?” Norah sat forward. “It’s like all of a sudden, you hate each other.”

  “Not at all,” Lorraine said at the same time Noah said, “That’s because we do.”

  Noah continued his glower, because, well, he couldn’t seem to find the adult inside of him at the moment. But Lorraine shrugged and responded with, “It’s just been a little stressful, that’s all, Nor.” She patted Norah’s leg one more time and got up. “Everything’ll calm down soon. I promise.”

  While Norah stayed on the couch watching Drake and Josh reruns, Noah followed Lorraine and Sunny into the kitchen. “You shouldn’t be making promises you can’t keep, Lorraine.”

  “Yeah. I’ve heard that before.” She was bent over, peering into the refrigerator for something. Nice ass.

  He placed his hand on the open refrigerator door and leaned in. “I have to see the lawyer today,” he whispered.

  She stopped pulling things from the refrigerator to look at him.

  “Can you come with me?” he asked, swallowing his pride.

  “Uh, yeah. What time?”

  “Two?”

  “Two? Um, I have a class at eleven. Can I meet you there?”

  Noah nodded. “Yeah. Just don’t bring Dean.”

  “Why would I?”

  He shrugged and left the house. “Just don’t,” he responded to himself.

  ***

  The lawyer spelled it out for them—because Noah hadn’t been a part of his sister’s life since he moved out his senior year of high school, his chances were slim that he’d get custody of Norah. “And your Aunt mentioned,” the attorney continued, “something about an incident after your mother passed away.” He spoke to Noah, clearly keeping the details of the incident from Lorraine. “I have to be honest, Noah. That’s going to hurt your chances even more so.”

  Lorraine looked at Noah who was catching glimpses of her from the corner of his eye. It embarrassed him that the lawyer was bringing it up. “I was fifteen years old. They’d hold that against me?”

  “It wasn’t even five years ago. Yes, They’ll definitely hold that against you.”

  Noah pursed his lips and kept from jumping out of his seat and flinging something.

  “Mr. DeGrecco,” Lorraine said, wiping her palms on her jeans-clad thighs. “Would I have a chance? I mean, if I applied for custody of Norah? I already got temporary custody of Carter until my grandmother finds a way to come here. Since Norah and I have been living together for the past year, and I’ve been a regular part of her life since our parents met, would I have a chance?”

  DeGrecco nodded. “Better than your stepbrother here.”

  Noah hated—hated—that term when it referred to him in relation to Lorraine.

  “Then let’s do it,” she commanded, firmly, authoritatively.

  Beguilingly.

  Noah shouldn’t have been thinking of her like that right now. Not in the lawyer’s office. Not anywhere really.

  “What are her chances? Are they good?” he asked, putting his inappropriate thoughts aside.

  “Probably. Your case still has to come in front of a judge, even if your Aunt drops her case. But with Lorraine petitioning the court, your chances just got a lot better.” DeGrecco looked at Lorraine and said, “Do you mind giving me a moment with your stepbrother?”

  “Oh, sure,” Lorraine complied, and stood to leave the room.

  But before she did, Noah said, “You know, I’m really not her stepbrother. We didn’t even know each other before our parents’ accident. So, she’s not my stepsister.”

  “Okay?” DeGrecco said as a question, obviously not sure of a response.

  Lorraine walked out of the room, leaving Noah alone with his attorney.

  “You need to stay out of this case.” The attorney didn’t mince words or emotions. He was crystal clear in his statement. “A suicide attempt? A two-month stay in a psychiatric ward? Stay away from this case and let it fall on Lorraine and her grandmother.”

  Noah glared at his lawyer, and instinctively brought his hand up to the heartbeat tattoo that covered the gash on his arm. He was fifteen; he’d no idea it wouldn’t be an effective way to kill himself.

  “I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it was only four and a half years ago, and I’m guessing you aren’t being seen by a psychiatrist currently?”

  No. He wasn’t. “How could something I did as a kid affect this case at all?”

  “You’re barely an adult now; how could it not?”

  “My mother had just died.”

  “And now your father has.”

  Noah side-punched the arm of the chair and stood. “What’s your point?”

  “My point is, you’re going to be seen as unstable in the eyes of the court.”

  “Unstable? I have a 4.0 GPA and I’m ranked number one at Duke. If I hadn’t had to quit right in the middle of the tournament, I’d have been the NCAA wrestling champion for 2016. How the hell am I considered unstable?”

  “You’re intelligent, and you’re an excellent athlete. No one’s denying you that. But that’s not what the judge is looking at when determining who is the best guardian for a child. I’m sorry, Noah. That’s just how it is.”

  Noah fucked up. He couldn’t get custody of his sister, and now he couldn’t even finish out his semester at Duke. And leaving the way he had, with no word to any of his professors or counselors, he was sure he wouldn’t be welcomed back easily.

  The first and last person he wanted to see was Lorraine. But she was sitting on a chair in the waiting room, no doubt sticking around to see Noah. “You’re still here?” He made no secret of his bad mood and who he was taking it out on.

  She stood. “Wasn’t I supposed to wait?”

  “I don’t care what the fuck you do?”

  “What the heck, Noah? You’re hot, you’re cold. Pick a mood and stay there.” She turned and left the office.

  When he got outside, she was pulling away in her car.

  Then it occurred to him—if he wasn’t needed here, then why the hell stay?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Lorraine turned up the music and sang her heart out as she drove home. No way was she going to sulk over what’s-his-name’s bad mood. Obviously, something terrible had happened after his mom died, but she wondered, too, how that had any impact in this custody issue. She understood his lack of being around affecting the case, but not something that happened when he was fifteen. Unless he went to juvenile jail or whatever it’s called; committing a crime would definitely affect his chances, at least now when it’s not even five years later. Still, once again, he was taking his anger out on Lorraine, and she wasn’t going to stand for it. But she wasn’t going to brood over it, either.

  When she got home, neither Norah nor Carter were there. And since it was Friday afternoon, she had no fitness classes to teach, so she decided to take a nap on the couch with Sunny until everyone came home. Unfortunately, the nap didn’t last long, because someone was frantically ringing the front doorbell and causing Sunny to bark in hysteria.

  Lorraine opened the door to a very frenzied young girl. “You’re Carter’s sister, right? You have to come right away. Carter’s in a fight. They’re gonna kill him.”

  Following the girl’s lead, Lorraine pulled shut the door and took off by foot behind the girl, who led her to the basketball courts at the end of the development. As they neared the courts, Lorraine pulled out her phone.

  “What are you doing?” the girl asked, alarmed.

  “Calling nine-one-one.”

  “NO!” she screamed. “You can’t.”

  Lorraine slowed, confused. “Why not?”

  “They’ll go to jail. They’re high.”

  Lorraine took o
ff for the courts, racing to get to her brother. With the girl right by her side, she said, “They’re not gonna go to jail for pot.”

  “Not pot. Heroin.”

  Lorraine came to a sudden halt. “Heroin?”

  The girl, who stopped a few feet ahead of Lorraine, turned. “Yeah. A lot.”

  By the time Lorraine and the girl made it to the basketball courts, Carter was sprawled out on his stomach, face down, lying in his own blood. Alone. “Where’d they—?” Lorraine started to ask as she kneeled down at her brother’s side.

  “They saw me take off. I bet they knew I went for help,” the girl answered.

  Lorraine swallowed a lump in her throat and touched Carter’s arm as she whispered, “Carter?”

  He groaned. Thank God.

  “Carter, look at me,” she told him as she gently turned him onto his back. Oh my goodness, his face. “Carter, can you say something?”

  Another moan.

  Lorraine looked at the girl. “Now can I call an ambulance? They’re gone, so no one will get in trouble.”

  “Carter will.”

  No. The reality of it just sank in. “He does heroin?”

  The girl nodded.

  Lorraine ducked her head and spoke softly. “Can you help me get him home?”

  “Sure,” she said. “My name’s Kara, by the way.” Kara came around the other side of Carter and helped Lorraine pick him up.

  “I’m Lorraine.” One block in, Lorraine, muttered, “I should have brought my car”

  “It’s not far. We got this.”

  Not without struggle, Lorraine and Kara made it home with Carter nearly unconscious in their arms. They dropped him as gently as they could onto the couch. “See if you can get him to respond,” Lorraine instructed Kara. “I’m gonna go get a few washcloths and towels.”

  Washing the cloths beneath the faucet, Lorraine’s hands were trembling. Heroin? Carter? This was way worse than pot. God, she needed her mother right now. Like, really, really badly. When she got back to the couch, she noticed Carter’s hand had moved to his face. “Carter,” she called, racing to his side. “My gosh, what happened?” She gently dabbed at his facial wounds with the wet rag. She didn’t wait for his response before she said, “What are you getting yourself into?”