by J. P. Grider
“She said no, motherfucker.”
She hadn’t head-butted him that hard; Noah had pulled him off of her and tossed him across the room. Now Noah was on top of Dean and beating the crap out of him. “When a woman says no, she means no.” She’d never heard Noah so angry in her life, either. “And if you come near her again, I will cut off your dick. And it will feel a lot worse than this.” Noah drew back his leg and kneed him right in his package.
Dean made a noise Lorraine had never heard in another human-being before.
She’d sat up, yanked down her shirt, and pulled Sunny to her lap.
Noah lifted Dean up by his collar and dragged him to the front door, where he opened it and tossed him out. Then, he locked the door and went straight for Lorraine. Kneeling down in front of her, he stroked Sunny and looked into Lorraine’s eyes. “I fuckin’ wanted to kill him, you know that, don’t you?”
She nodded, and choked out, “Thank you.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Disappointed more than anything.”
“Disappointed?”
“I confided in him. I told him about, about my past.” As she went to pet Sunny, her hand touched Noah’s and she instinctively pulled back.
Noah went after her hand anyway, and returned it to Sunny’s back, leaving his hand on top of Lorraine’s. “You told him about your past, and he thought that was permission to climb on top of you and maul you?”
She shrugged. “Looks that way.”
“Lorraine. Please don’t tell anybody else about your past. Not that you should be ashamed, because you shouldn’t, but guys are assholes, and they’ll take advantage of you.”
“Yeah. I realize that now.”
With a tap to the top of her hand, Noah stood up and sat down on the couch.
“You told me there was something creepy about him.” Lorraine sat back and hugged her dog. “Sorry I didn’t listen to you.”
“Wait. You’re apologizing to me? Rain. No. I just wanted you to know there was something not right about that guy. For your own good. I don’t want an apology.”
“Yeah, well, I shoulda listened.”
“Here’s how to recognize an asshole. If he takes off his shirt and sits at your kitchen table to make others think you’d done the deed…he’s an asshole.”
Lorraine laughed. “Yeah. I guess that shoulda tipped me off, huh?”
“You fight like a wimp you know.”
“Hey, he was bigger than me.”
“He was bigger than me, too. That’s no excuse. I gotta teach you how to flip him over and get him to his back.”
“Well, there won’t be a next time. I’m not gonna see him anymore.”
Noah took Sunny from Lorraine’s lap and set him on the floor. “Sorry ‘bout this, boy.” He grabbed hold of Lorraine’s hand and pulled her off the couch. “Lay on the floor.”
“What?”
“You never know if there will be a next time; he’s not the only asshole in the world. Now, lay on your back.” Noah helped to bring her gently to her back. He mimicked Dean’s position, laying himself on top of her, and resting his knees on her hands to immobilize her. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Rain, but I am going to teach you how to get out from under me.”
As he held her down, Noah told her to push back on her butt, using her heels, wrap her leg around his waist, and push with her heel on the left side of his back while she used her right shoulder to flip him over. “There are other ways, but I think this would be easier, especially if you can’t kick him in the nuts from the start. Once you flip him, then you can kick him, knee him, whatever you have to do.”
It took Lorraine a couple of tries, and Sunny several yelps, but she finally managed to flip Noah over, but she didn’t knee him where it’d hurt. She sat back on her heels and smiled. “Thanks, No.”
He stayed on his back and left his hands on Lorraine’s thighs. “You know...this could have all been avoided with Dean had you just agreed to see me.”
Seeing that Lorraine and Noah calmed down, Sunny took off for the kitchen. “You know why, Noah. Why do we have to keep coming back to this?”
Noah squeezed her thighs with a gentle pinch and said, “I don’t buy it, Rain. I think you’re just using excuses, because you’re afraid.”
“Afraid? Why in the world would I be afraid?”
“Because you’re feelings are real with me. You’ve never felt this way before, and you’re afraid to give up that control you’ve worked so hard at obtaining. But, Rain,” he said, pressing his fingers to her mouth when she tried to speak, “I don’t want to take that control away.” Noah sighed, and with his hands still attached to Lorraine, he sat up and faced her. “I’m not giving up. When you’re ready, you let me know.” He kissed the tip of her nose, and stood. “You get some sleep, and say a prayer that I don’t decide to kill your best friend in the middle of the night.”
Lorraine sat on the living room floor, unmoving. Sunny came back and licked at her fingers. “What am I gonna do, boy? I like him so much.” She stroked her boy’s fluffy coat. “Why does he have to be Brick’s son?”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
“What the heck is this?” Rain shoved a certified letter in Noah’s face the following afternoon.
Noah took the letter from her and raised his brow. “Uh, yeah, I meant to talk to you about that. I’m asking you to drop your custody suit.”
Rain waved her hand at the documents. “I see that. Why?”
“I got my own lawyer. I’m petitioning for custody of Norah.”
She shook her head, frowning. She was as cute when she frowned as she was when she smiled. So cute, in fact, that Noah couldn’t hold back his smile.
“You think this is funny? You could have told me about this before I had to read it in a letter.”
“You’re right, and I don’t think it’s funny. I should have told you. I was going to tell you. But then, Dean was back in the kitchen. And then, he was back in the living room, and well, thoughts of killing him kind of superseded thoughts of the custody case. I’m sorry.”
The pretty girl sat down on his couch. “But why? Why all of a sudden? I thought you wanted me to do this.”
Noah sat next to her, trying hard not to inhale her coconut scent. “Actually, no, I never wanted you to be granted custody of Norah. I thought you had a better chance of it, but I never preferred it.” He placed a hand on her thigh. “And not because you wouldn't be good for her. I just really wanted to be the one to take care of my sister. I, kind of, felt like a loser, because I was told I had no chance.”
“Well, I’m glad that you feel that way, I just wish you or the lawyer called me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. If I drop it, and the court finds you not—” Lorraine read the letter Margaret showed her; she didn’t think Noah had a chance of winning custody, but she didn’t want to say that to him. “I don’t know, No, what do I do? I don’t feel right about dropping it.”
“You don’t think I can take care of my own sister?” By the raised brows, and the angry look on Noah’s face, Lorraine knew she’d offended him.
“No. Noah, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I swear. It’s just what the other lawyer said. I’m just worried if he’s right, and—”
“And a suicidal freak like me isn’t capable of taking care of a thirteen year old girl?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Yeah, I know what you meant, Lorraine. Do what the hell you want. I’m still going for custody.” He got up and walked away, but he wasn’t going to get far, since the apartment Brick built him only had one other room besides the bathroom.
She followed him to his bedroom and stood there in his doorway. “Don’t be a baby, Noah, we need to discuss this maturely.”
He sulked at the top end of his bed.
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it. I think a brother should have custody of his sister if his parents aren’t around. I just don’t want to give your aunt a chance if she ha
s one.”
His legs crossed at the ankles, Noah’s right foot moved at warped speed.
“You’re pissed now,” she said, stating the obvious.
Finally, he looked at her. “I’m just trying to do the right thing, Rain.” His voice was less edgy now.
“I know you are. And that’s good. A judge will see that.” Lorraine wanted to step into his room, but she remembered the last time she did that and wanted to avoid another tempting situation. “What do you think? Should I withdraw my petition?” Even though she felt she couldn’t do that, she needed to ask him.
“I’d like you to, yes.”
Lorraine didn’t respond; she didn’t know how. So, she stood there motionless for several seconds waiting for her brain to come up with something to say. When it didn’t, she turned and walked out of Noah’s apartment.
She didn’t withdraw her petition. Lorraine felt the repercussions in her gut—it would not end well if she did. But she didn’t know how to tell Noah without there being a huge argument, so she avoided the situation until the last minute—when it would blow up in her face.
***
“Whattya mean she didn’t drop her case?”
“I mean, your stepsister did not withdraw her petition. She had Monday and Tuesday to do so, but she didn’t. You’ll be going up against her tomorrow in court.”
Noah was livid. Ready to explode. His stepsister let him believe she would drop her case for custody. Did she honestly think he wouldn't find out? He was pissed, and he wasn’t going to let her get away with it. He hung up with his new lawyer, and grabbing his helmet off the dresser, he left his Teaneck apartment and took off on his bike, prepared to fly off the handle at his pretty little liar.
Tearing in through the back door, Noah opened his mouth the second he saw Rain in the kitchen. “You bitch,” he said with a pointing finger.
Her eyes wide, he knew she knew exactly to what he was referring. “Noah. Not now.” She got directly in his face and slapped her palms against his chest, pushing him against the back door.
When her hand dipped to the door knob, Noah took her wrist and stopped her. “Don’t even put your hands on me, you traitor.” He was so angry, he felt fire in his cheeks.
“Noah, please.”
“You’re still petitioning for custody, you sneaky, lying bitch. What? You think I can’t beat Aunt Margaret?”
“Noah, Nor—”
“Don’t. Interrupt. Me. Neither you or Margaret will get custody of my sister. You hear me? If I have to kidnap her myself, my Aunt Margaret will not get custody, and neither will you.”
“Aunt Margaret’s getting custody?”
Rain’s hands dropped with her shoulders.
Noah felt like shit. “Norah. I didn't know you were—” Noah looked at Rain. “You could've—”
“I tried. You wouldn't let me interrupt, remember?” Rain turned and grasped Norah’s shoulders. “Norah, we didn't want to tell you until we knew, um, well, until…” She couldn't finish. “Oh, I don't know, Nor. I’m so sorry.”
“I thought that whole thing was taken care of already?”
“Norah,” Noah piped in. “It...well, it wasn’t, and we just didn’t want to worry you.” Damn, he should have paid more attention to Rain’s aggression with him at the back door. He looked at Rain. “Sorry I didn’t realize what you were trying to say.”
Rain ignored him and pulled Norah to the table. “Sit, Nor. We need to talk about this.”
His anger with Rain evaporating, Noah sat too.
Rain put her hand on Norah’s shaking one.
“I don’t want to live with Aunt Margaret, Rain. I don’t even know her.”
“I know that,” Rain agreed. “That’s what my lawyer’s main case is. He’s banking on the judge seeing that you have no relationship with this woman.”
Norah looked at her brother, then back at Rain. “What’s with you two then?” To Noah, she said, “Why did you come in attacking Rainy?”
“I attacked her? I think it was the other way around.”
Norah looked confused. “You came in screaming at her and calling her a bitch. Why?”
Noah sagged back in his chair. “I asked her to drop her case, so I could fight for custody against Aunt Margaret.”
Norah shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I want custody of you.”
“Why can’t you both have it?”
“Do you remember the trouble I got into when Mom died?” Noah hated bringing it up, but he knew he had to.
“Not really. I mean, I knew you were sent away for a while, but Dad just said you were really depressed and you needed some help.”
Noah nodded. “I needed a lot of help, Nor. I wanted to die.” He swallowed hard, and continued to speak despite the huge knot in his throat. “I didn’t know how to go on without Mom. Dad and I were never as close as Mom and I were, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I know it sounds weak and lame, a fifteen-year-old that can’t live without his mommy, but it was the truth.” He swallowed that lump again and persevered. “I slit my wrist.” He turned his left arm over and fingered the seven inch vertical scar that ran from his wrist to just below the elbow. The scar that stayed hidden beneath his heartbeat tattoo.
“Oh, Noah.” Norah got up and went to her brother, wrapping her arms around him so tight that he couldn’t help but let the tears fall. “I know I was only eight, but you could have come to me. I could have told you how much I loved you and looked up to you.” She squeezed him tighter. “Even though mom had died, it was you I missed so much when you went away.” Now, Norah was crying.
“Hey, kid.” He took her wrists and held her at arm’s length so he could look her in the eyes. “I’m really sorry that I did that. I didn’t even realize it had hurt you too.” Noah kissed his sister on the forehead. “You don’t know how badly I wish I could turn back time and not hurt myself like that. ‘Cause look, it’s still coming back to bite me.”
“So, wait,” Norah said, sitting back down, this time in a chair closer to Noah. “Because you tried to kill yourself, you can’t have custody of me?”
“That’s what Aunt Margaret is trying to prove.”
“But that was five years ago. You’re an adult now.”
“I know that, kid. I’m so sorry. And I’m sorry that we’re not so close anymore and I kind of left you when I moved out.”
“I guess that’s going to work against you too, huh?”
Noah nodded. “I guess it might.” He looked at Rain. “I guess you realized that too?”
Rain shrugged and didn’t drop her shoulders back down. Instead, she dropped her face in her hands. “There’s a letter, Noah,” she mumbled into her hands.
“What?”
She lifted her head from her hands and looked at Noah. “There’s a letter. Your aunt has it.” When Noah signaled to her to continue, she did. “It was from your father. He must have emailed her when you were away,” she raised her eyebrows. “You’d have to read it for yourself, but he was afraid you’d never get better and he asked your mom’s sister, your aunt, if she would take on Norah so he could take care of you. He didn’t think he could give you the attention you needed and take care of an eight-year-old girl.”
Norah’s eyes were wide, and Noah felt like a heel for putting his baby sister through this. “I’m so sorry, Norah.”
“So, Dad didn’t want me?” she asked Rain.
“That’s not how it was worded. You guys really need to read the letter yourselves, but,” Lorraine paused a few seconds before she said, “I guess it’s incriminating enough against you,” she said to Noah, “and enough evidence to let the judge see that Brick would want you,” she said to Norah, “to go with your mother’s sister.”
Noah leaned back, running his palms backward on the table. “Dammit. And that’s why you didn’t want to withdraw your petition?”
Rain nodded, but looked like she was holding back on something.
“Was
there anything else in the letter? Did she say anything else?”
“Um,” she stammered, probably searching her mind to remember. “Uh, No. No. Nothing else.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the letter? And how did you know about it?”
“Um, well, I, uh, didn’t know how to tell you. Your aunt showed it to me when I went up to her house, before she threatened to have a restraining order set against me. I didn’t tell you that either, but that’s where I went that day you couldn’t find me.”
“You went all the way to Connecticut?” Norah asked.
Noah, however, said, “Yeah, DeGrecco told me.”
“So, you knew about the restraining order?”
“Yup,” he said, feeling a smile trying to eek its way through his lugubrious mood. Rain was just too cute to stay mad at.
She shook her head. “I didn’t attack her like he said. I just—”
“I know what your intentions were. And, about before, I’m sorry. My ego was bruised. I’m glad you didn’t drop your case.” And would she please just kiss him already?
“Thanks.”
“So, should I be worried?” Norah asked Rain.
“I don’t think so, Nor, but, now that you know, would you want to come to court tomorrow? The lawyer thought it’d be a good idea to have you tell your side. I hesitated because I didn’t want you to worry, but, well, what do you think?”
“Will it help?”
“I hope so. I don’t think it can hurt.”
“Okay. Then, yes. I’ll go to court with you.”
Noah watched Rain’s interaction with Norah—it wasn’t the usual effortless exchange. Almost as if Lorraine was holding back.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Norah was scared. She watched as the lawyers spewed damaging words against her brother. She felt bad he had to relive the whole mess from five years ago just for Norah’s benefit. He was keeping a straight face, but she could see, every once in a while, his bottom lip quiver.
