by J. P. Grider
Norah wanted to smack her aunt right in the face. How dare she put their family through this.
A lot of the points that were made did go over Norah’s head, but not the words that the lawyer just said to Noah. “And how can we be sure you aren’t going to attempt suicide again?”
“Because I’m not that person anymore. I’ve learned from my mistake, and I’ve learned to deal with adversity in a more mature and healthy way.”
“Which is?”
“I do what I have to do now. Look,” he said to the lawyer in front of him and to the judge at his side, “I was a kid back then. Surely, you can take that into consideration. I’m a twenty-year-old man now, at the top of my class before I left to come home and take care of Norah in the first place, and I haven’t shown any signs of depression in years.”
The lawyer countered with, “And moving out of the house when you were told your chances of obtaining custody were slim was a mature thing to do? Not a sign of depression at all?”
Norah felt bad when her brother’s shoulders slumped. “I simply thought it would be easier for Lorraine to get custody if I weren’t in the house. They told me her chances were slim if I stayed. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. If I am granted custody, I would move right back into my father’s home with Norah.”
There were lots of other words said, but Norah was only paying attention to her brother’s frown.
When it was Rainy’s turn to be questioned, Norah felt better. Rainy’s answers were quick and sharp, and Norah even saw the questioning lawyer frown a few times. She felt bad for Noah but good that her stepsister was doing well up there.
When it was Aunt Margaret’s turn, she stepped to the witness stand with an expression that looked totally genuine; her aunt was teary-eyed and remorseful. But she still didn’t like her. When she told her story, Aunt Margaret looked like she was trying not to cry, saying how much it hurt her that her sister and brother-in-law were no longer around and that their daughter had to even be put through this. Her lawyer pulled out a piece of paper, handed it to her, and asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling the court what it was she was holding and if she wouldn’t mind reading it aloud.
“It’s an old email from my brother-in-law Brick.” Aunt Margaret looked down at the paper and began to read the letter. “Dear Margo. Sorry I haven’t called you in a while. Things are still not good at home right now. I told you about Noah’s attempted suicide. Well he’s been put in the hospital for a while, and they’re trying to take care of him. I’m afraid, however, that once he gets out, he’ll never truly get over this. First, losing his mother, then the whole stigma that’s going to surround him because of his attempt. It hurts me to have to ask you this, but would you consider having Norah move in with you for a little while so that I can give Noah my full attention? He’s really going to need me when he gets out, and,” Aunt Margaret was dabbing her eyes with her fingers, and it looked like she was trying hard to keep herself from crying. Suddenly, Norah felt a little bad for not liking her. “I know my daughter needs me too, but I think she could use a female influence right now. And since you,” Aunt Margaret looked at her niece and sighed. It took her several moments to compose herself before she looked back down at the letter and continued. “Since, essentially...you’ve already bonded with our daughter more so than anyone. It won’t be forever, Margo, but at least a few months. Until I know my son is better. It hurts me so much to see him this way, and Norah shouldn’t see her father a broken man because of this. And I think it would be nice for her to finally spend the time with you. Call me when you get a chance so we can talk about it. Brick.”
The lawyer asked Aunt Margaret if they did end up talking about it, and she said yes, that she had, but it never came to fruition, because when Noah got out of the hospital, Brick couldn't stand to lose his daughter next. “Of course,” she continued, “a year and a half later, Noah packed his bags and moved in with his friend. Noah’d wanted nothing to do with his father anymore.” Aunt Margaret looked at her nephew. “He loved you so much. He tried so hard when you got back. But he knew. He knew you had blamed him for all that went wrong.” This time, Aunt Margaret did cry.
“Thank you, Margaret. Now—” the lawyer handed Aunt Margaret another set of papers, which she took with a trembling hand, “—would you like to tell the court what you’re looking at right now?”
Aunt Margaret looked at Norah, and then back at Noah. “This is the surrogacy agreement between my sister Keri, my brother-in-law Brick, and me for the pre-birth orders for Norah’s birth in the state of Connecticut.”
When Norah heard everyone in the room gasp, she had no idea why. What was a surrogacy agreement?
The lawyer continued to speak. “Would you like to explain to the court what a surrogacy agreement is?”
Aunt Margaret, again, looked at Norah and Noah. “It’s the legal document that says that I agreed to carry Keri and Brick’s baby, because my sister was unable to carry any more children after Noah.”
“So, you are saying that you, Margaret Pearson, were pregnant with Norah Mack?”
“Yes.”
“No more questions, Your Honor,” her lawyer said.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
“Oh my God,” Norah said out loud to her brother, who was sitting at the table in front of her. “Aunt Margaret’s my mother?”
Noah turned around, looking quite shocked himself, but shook his head. “No, Nor. She’s not your mother,” he whispered, holding up his finger for Norah to be quiet.
The judge took a few minutes looking at the papers that the lawyer took from Aunt Margaret and handed to him. After he was done, he said, “Do we get to hear from the child today?”
“Yes, Your Honor,” said Rainy’s lawyer. “I’d like to call Norah Mack to the stand.
Norah was so nervous that she was shaking. Her Aunt Margaret was pregnant with her? She didn’t understand. Did that mean her aunt would get custody? If she did, she’d never see Rainy, Noah, and Carter again. Norah couldn’t deal with that thought, even if her aunt might not be so bad, so she said the first thing that came to her mind. “I think my aunt just wants me for my father’s money and I’m pregnant.”
She heard everyone gasp again.
The lawyer closed his eyes and shook his head. “Your Honor, my witness is not under oath yet, may we strike those comments from the records?”
Norah saw her brother’s eyes bug out and Rainy’s eyes scrunch up. But more importantly, she saw her aunt looked suddenly nervous. She didn’t really know if her aunt wanted her father’s money; Norah didn’t even know if her father left much. But she had to say something to make her aunt nervous and maybe not want her. If Aunt Margaret thought Norah was a troublemaker, maybe she’d back out. Which is why she also said she was pregnant. Would an old lady want a pregnant teenager to take care of?
The judge allowed her outburst to be stricken from the record, and then he reminded Norah that she mustn’t speak until asked a question. Norah nodded and then raised her hand to tell the truth like the lawyer asked her to do.
At the first lawyer’s request, Norah explained her relationship with her stepsister over the past two years. “She’s been like my best friend. I can talk to her about anything, and she listens. Then she gives me advice. She even talks to me about sex, and she’s not embarrassed to talk about it. My mother died when I was eight, so I never had anyone to talk to about periods, and boys, and kissing, and then my dad met Tatum.” Norah was shaking. She knew she was being too outspoken, but she really wanted the judge to see how much she needed Lorraine. “Tatum was really nice, but I remember feeling so excited when they told me I was going to have a big sister. I always wanted one. And as soon as I met Rainy, she was even better than I imagined. She taught me how to make macaroni and cheese. She comforts me. She makes my world feel...right, even though so many things have gone wrong for us.” Norah looked at her big sister just as Rainy winked at her. Turning to the judge, Norah pleaded. �
�Please don’t take me away from her. If I lose her too, I don’t know what I’ll do.” Then, Norah looked at Noah. “I’m sorry, No,” she mouthed.
Noah winked.
The judged asked if anyone else wanted to question the witness, but when Noah’s lawyer declined, Aunt Margaret’s lawyer stood. Norah was nervous again.
When the lawyer approached Norah, his face scared her. He didn’t have a friendly face. Suddenly, Norah started to cry. She tried to hide her tears with her sleeve, but she didn’t think it was working. That’s when the lawyer said, “Do you know what a surrogate parent is, Norah?”
As Norah shook her head, Rainy’s lawyer shouted, “Objection. Calls for speculation.”
“Sustained,” the judge said. “Rephrase the question.”
“Norah, your aunt carried you during pregnancy. She’s not your biological mother, but she did carry you for the nine months until you were born. That means, for those nine months, she acquired a bond with you that goes deeper than your relationship with your stepsister or your brother.”
“Objection,” Rainy’s lawyer said again. “Assumes facts not in evidence.”
“Sustained,” the judge said again, but then Norah looked at her Aunt Margaret and didn’t hear what the judge said after that, because Aunt Margaret was still crying too.
While the lawyer was looking down at his pad, her aunt stood up from the table. “Your Honor, may I have a minute with my lawyer?”
The judge allowed her the minute, then Norah saw her aunt whisper something to her lawyer, who frowned. Norah couldn’t make out what they were saying, but the lawyer didn’t look happy. He turned to the judge and asked to approach the bench. Norah was asked to step down and the two lawyers stepped up to the judge with the other lawyer. Norah went back to sit with Mimi, who’d flown in this morning to be with them. A few seconds later, the judge spoke. “The temporary custody agreement between Lorraine Mattina and Norah Mack will remain in place until further notice.” Then he slammed his hammer on his bench. “Case is dismissed.”
***
Noah approached his mother’s sister. “What the hell was that?”
“What the hell was what, Noah? I dropped the case, I thought you’d be happy about that.”
“You carried my sister? Why didn’t I even know this, and why the hell would you bring it up in court, what the fuck?”
“I had no other opportunity to tell you,” she said, hiking her purse up on her shoulder.
“You damn well did. You had the past thirteen years.”
“Your mother didn’t want you to know. That’s why she stayed with me during the pregnancy. So, you wouldn’t realize she wasn’t pregnant.”
“I was six. I probably wouldn’t have even—that’s beside the point. You had all this time; you couldn’t come to us before today?”
“Your stepsister knew. I showed her the documents. I thought she would have told you.”
My stepsister knew? Fuck. “Fuck.”
When Lorraine walked up behind him and set her hand on his arm, he snatched it away. “Don’t. You knew. You knew, and you said nothing? I even fucking asked you last night, ‘was there anything else in the letter?’ I fucking asked you, Lorraine. You said nothing.”
“I’m sorry, Noah, I didn’t know how. I—”
“We’re done. I’m outta here.”
***
Lorraine tried to ignore the burning pit in her stomach after Noah walked out, but she couldn’t; the pain was too great. So, she clenched her stomach to quell at least some of the hurt, and said, “Thank you,” to Aunt Margaret. “What made you drop the case?”
“I did it for you, Norah,” Margaret said to her niece, who was standing next to Lorraine. “I didn’t realize how close you were with your stepsister. I should have taken the time to visit.”
Norah nodded.
“I was only trying to do what I thought my sister and her husband would have liked. They trusted me enough to carry you; I thought they’d trust me to be your guardian. But I realize, they’d probably want you to stay in the home your father had intended for you and your new family. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I said that about the money, and I’m not pregnant,” Norah said softly.
“I didn’t think you were. I hope you’ll keep in touch with me, though. Maybe give me a call once a month or something. I really do love you, you know. It was hard for me to let you go when you were born.” Aunt Margaret took Norah’s hands and said, “It was the hardest thing I’d ever done. That’s why it was so hard for me to come around after that. I did twice—come to visit—but the pain of leaving you was just as great. So, I stopped coming around. But, I would like to now. If you’d like to have a relationship with me.
Norah nodded, and Rain said, “I can take her to visit you. I know where you live.”
Margaret laughed and winked. “I’d like that. Please do.” She squeezed Norah and said, “Goodbye, kids.”
When Margaret walked away, Norah asked, “She’s not my mother, right?”
Lorraine put her arm around her sister. “No. It was your mother and father’s...ingredients...she just cooked them.” Lorraine and Norah both cracked up, and as they all left the courthouse, Lorraine wondered if Noah would ever forgive her.
***
Noah didn’t look back as he walked to his motorcycle. He was pissed. How could she not tell him about the surrogacy? Especially, since he’d specifically asked her last night if there was anything else his aunt had said or alluded to. Lorraine was adamant when she’d said no. Or maybe she wasn’t; he couldn’t remember. But he should have known. He was so wrapped up in thinking about holding her and kissing her, that he let his thoughts get in the way of his intuition. He knew she was hiding something. And finding out in court? No. That was just wrong. Lorraine was wrong in not telling him and Norah, and he’d never forgive her.
At least Norah was happy. She got what she wanted—to stay with her best friend. Even though her best friend betrayed them, he felt good that she had a role-model like Lorraine. Aside from fucking lying to him, she was good for Norah. He hadn’t really expected to gain custody of Norah himself anyway, but he had to try. To put in the effort that he knew he should. He was at least glad it all worked out for his little sister. For that, he was grateful.
Still. There was a place in his heart that ached, and he didn’t think the pain would ever go away—not only was he in love with a girl who was dead-set against giving him a shot, he also hated her at the moment. And whether she would have decided to give the two of them a chance or not, he was done with her. He was done with her for good.
***
The next morning, Mimi took Lorraine and the kids out for breakfast, and over iHop pancakes, she told them that Grandpa was doing a lot better. He’d regained most of his speech and he was walking again, with the aid of a cane. Grandpa would be able to travel soon.
“Travel?” Carter blurted. “You guys are gonna travel?”
Mimi laughed. “Yeah. Right back here to New Jersey. I’m just not sure when.”
Lorraine dropped her jaw. “Seriously? You’re moving back?”
“Well, we can’t move back permanently, because I can’t change our insurance, but as long as Grandpa’s health keeps improving, we can visit regularly and for extended periods of time.”
“Oh, that’s really great, Meem.” Without warning, Lorraine burst out into tears. Sobbing, torrential-downpour-type tears. “Oh my God,” she said, wiping her face. “I have no idea where that came from.” She chuckled on top of the sudden sobs.
“Repressed emotions, baby. Let them out.”
She felt foolish crying in the iHop, but she couldn’t help it. Lorraine was flooded with relief, and she didn’t even know she’d needed it. She excused herself and sat in the car, letting her tears flow without an audience. Now that she knew the situation with Norah was pretty much under control, and her grandmother would be a regular presence in their lives, and Carter was doing well in his drug treat
ment sessions and happy with his fifteen-year-old girlfriend, she expected to feel happier. Lorraine was relieved yes, but sad at the same time.
There was still a Noah-sized hole in the center of her heart.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
On top of work, her own classes, and a new hobby meant to keep her so busy she wouldn’t notice the hole in her heart getting bigger, Lorraine had a ton of first-day forms to fill out for Carter and Norah’s eighth grade year.
“And I wanna join wrestling this year,” Carter said, hanging over her shoulder as she struggled to read the inundation of papers the teens put in front of her.
“Okay, hold on. One form at a time.”
“As long as you fill out my wrestling forms.”
She searched through the papers and found it. Reading it, she exclaimed, “You don’t even start until after Thanksgiving.”
“I know, but they want you to register early so we can start fundraising.”
“Geez Louise,” she remarked. “It’s the first day of school.”
“Do you know when Noah’s coming home? I wanna tell him we have to start practicing. He had said he’d help me if I joined the wrestling team.”
“I know, but that was before the whole court thing happened. And I have no idea what his plans are now. He only comes here to see Norah, and it’s usually when I’m not here. Besides, Norah said he started his fall classes last week, and with his job and moving to his new place this weekend, he’s busy. ”
“Why’d he even get that stupid job? He could have used Brick’s money to pay for his new apartment. I never see him anymore.”
