The Girl of Sand & Fog

by Ward, Susan

  Fuck.

  Not the answer I wanted.

  Disquieting sensations from my stomach lodge in my throat. “I’m sure you have done a lot sexually,” I shoot back, my voice heavy with sarcasm. “I get it. You’re a hot guy. Popular. You don’t date. But I never thought it meant you didn’t fuck as much as you can. This is hardly a news flash, Bobby.”

  His gaze combs my face as if irritated and trying to decide how to deal with me. I carefully avoid his eyes because I can feel that my features are tense and awash with overly exposed hurt about hearing of Bobby’s exploits.

  Fuck, what’s wrong with me? It’s ridiculous to get hurt because what he did before me isn’t about me, but his talking about it is suffocating me.

  Stupid, Kaley. Why did you start this?

  “Whatever I’ve done doesn’t matter. Because it was never complete. Not even close to complete. I’ve never felt about any girl the way I feel about you. You’re different from every girl I’ve ever been with, Kaley.”

  Before I can rally a response, his arms slip around me, pulling me close and he’s bending low to kiss me. His mouth is urgent and bruising on mine, not gentle and moving with me in a perfectly matching flow, the way we kiss when we’re fucking each other with our tongues.

  His tongue sweeps through my mouth as one hand runs up the side of my face, and then his fingers in my hair clutch the back of my head.

  He pulls away, breathless, his lips against my ear. “But I’m into limits and you’re into control and sometimes you make it fucking nearly impossible to be the guy I want to be with you. You think we’re here because you’ve decided it’s time we should fuck. You have no idea how much I want to. How fucking out of my mind you get me. How many times a day I jerk off thinking about you and what it’s going to be like when we’re finally together. But I didn’t bring you here to fuck you.”

  What?

  I step back from him, but the fence stops me.

  I cross my arms, humiliated and confused. “Then what was all that nonsense about not going back to school today if we go into your bedroom?”

  “I don’t want our first time together to be in my bedroom. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to spend as much time alone with you as I can. Maybe push up against the limits until the time is right for both of us to make love.”

  I stare at him, my mouth dropping, frustrated in every way, not just my body. “Right time? You had a pretty fucking nice erection five minutes ago and I was pretty fucking ready to do this. It doesn’t get more right time than that. I’ve already let you know that I want to.”

  “We’re not doing it today. I can tell, Kaley, that you haven’t gone all the way before. But here’s a news flash. I haven’t either. I’ve done a lot of things—two people can get off in a lot of ways together without fucking—but I’ve never fucked a girl because I wanted my first time to mean something. I wanted it to be with someone I love. But I also wanted it to mean something to the girl I shared it with.”

  I stare at him, stunned.

  “You’ve never had sex before?” I ask, unable to hide how floored I am by this admission.

  This time he steps back from me, raking his fingers through his hair. “Not completely. I want the milestones of my life to mean something. Not just be something I do, move on, and forgot about. I want my first time to be with someone I can see in my life long-term. I want it with a girl I love. I want it with you. I’ve never believed in anything the way I believe in the possibility of us.”

  As soon as the words leave his mouth he’s completely discomposed. He looks both nervous and embarrassed—the vision he makes melts my heart and douses my temper. My tough, extreme sports, hot surfer boy all sensitively heavy, laying bare his soft underside.

  I lift my hand and stroke his cheek. “That’s about the sweetest thing any guy has ever said to me.”

  He stares down at the ground, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “There is only a handful of moments in everyone’s life that really matter. Not enough of them to waste.”

  My eyes scroll over his features, taking in everything written there that Bobby hasn’t said. We’ve talked about him being adopted and he denies that it matters to him…but oh, Bobby, you are wrong. It’s why you are so careful about the people you care about. You need things to matter because a piece of you is incomplete like me, but unlike me, you can’t get that part of you back.

  My eyes widen. “So if you’re not going to do me, why are we here?”

  He looks up, laughing in a rough, half-frustrated and half-amused sort of humor. I can tell by the way he’s studying me that if I kiss him, he’d let me, this would be over and we’d be on the way to his room to do whatever.

  “I just want to spend some time alone with you. And I definitely want to push up against those limits as far as we can, as far as it’s right, for the both of us. Fighting with you only makes me hornier than hell.”

  I can’t help but smile at him. “Me, too. Do you still want to hold me hostage in your bedroom until I have to go home?”

  Ah.

  Instant spark in his eyes.

  “More than you know,” he says, his voice thick and breathy. “Even as pissed off as you got me, my erection didn’t go away. Not completely.”

  This time I laugh.

  I move in to him, lifting my lips to his, and then we’re kissing, hot and frantic. His hands run down my back to my butt, and he picks me up. I wrap my arms and legs around him, and he starts carrying me toward his room.

  I drag my mouth from his, trailing down his neck with my lips and tongue. I make a light nip and his body shudders as he sucks in a full chest of air.

  I swirl my tongue and then lift my face. “Limits, huh? You don’t want to rethink that one, Bobby? I’m pretty much a sure thing today.”

  Low laughter makes his chest shimmy against me. “Don’t make this a competition, Kaley. I want our first time to be what we both deserve. Respecting the limits today is going to be really hard.”

  I tuck my face into the bend of his neck and shoulder to hide the color on my cheeks. “Really hard? Maybe that’s a moment you shouldn’t waste?”

  He struggles to kiss me and open the door to the pool house. “That’s a moment we don’t have to worry about not happening again.”

  Once we’re inside, he kicks the door closed and drops us on the bed. We both kick off our flip-flops then scramble until we’re lying full-length on his bed, with him on top of me. Kissing in an unending, devouring flow, we press into each other, straining with our bodies to get as close as we can.

  I tug on the hem of his shirt and he eases back from me and immediately pulls it over his head, flinging it on the ground. I stare up at him, wide-eyed, at the smooth, nearly hairless bronze-tanned skin, the nicely cut muscles of his shoulders and chest, and the rock hard six-pack of his abs.

  My hands lightly skim his torso. His breathing grows deeper and more ragged.

  “I want this shirt off me,” I demand, my voice husky and impatient. “I want it off now.”

  He slides the straps of my tank top off, kissing my bare skin, teasing my breasts through the fabric with his warm breath. Then he pulls it from my body. I unhook my bra to free my breasts and toss it to the floor.

  The gleam in his eyes as his gaze roams my body makes want and hunger roar through my flesh.

  I haven’t done this before. Bared my upper body completely. But I want us skin to skin, his heart beating against mine, even if he intends not to have sex completely.

  “Oh fuck, Kaley,” he whispers in awe. “You are so gorgeous, baby.”

  He leans forward placing gentle kisses all along them, the journey of his mouth slow and potent, teasing the tops of my breasts with light touches and my nipples with his breath and swirling flicks of his tongue. Everything inside me liquefies, the wetness concentrating between my thighs.

  I arch upward into his mouth and he takes a nipple fully into his mouth, sucking as his hands massage and roam the slopes.
>
  My lower body twists and rubs against him. His erection feels like it’s trying to rip through his shorts and escape. I start grinding against him, my body growing anxious and hot while Bobby’s panting turns into near airless spirts as he pushes into me over and over again.

  A whimper escapes me. His mouth leaves my breasts, claiming mine in a deep kiss, his tongue filling me, before he lifts his head and kisses his way down my body.

  His fingers glide up my thighs, around the edge of my panties, then inside. He teases my clit and I moan loudly.

  He kisses my stomach and then lifts his face. “I want to go down on you. I want to taste you. Are you OK with that?”

  Holy shit.

  He wants to eat me out?

  That’s within the limits?

  That I didn’t expect.

  I lift my head from the pillow to look at his face.

  The expression in his eyes blasts heat through my veins. His words bring color to my face, because we haven’t done this before—the oral sex thing—and Bobby is right, two people can get off in lots of way. He’s definitely proven that in our prior sexcapades. But this is a new line of intimacy. As much as the place between my thighs is pulsing and screaming yes, yes, I’m kind of afraid and a touch embarrassed to let him do it, and irrationally hurt again because I can tell by his touch and his voice that this isn’t going to be a first for him.

  I’m also worried he might expect me to return the favor—it would be only fair—but I’m not sure I’m ready to have a guy’s dick in my mouth. Not yet. Not even Bobby’s.

  Fuck, a month ago I’d never even given a guy a hand job.

  I’ve gotten pretty good at that.

  Scorching heat spreads across my body.

  I love watching him moan and push into my touch, fucking my mouth with his tongue as he comes into my hand, all shaky and sweaty and breathless from his release.

  I didn’t expect watching that would get me so hot.

  And his skin does taste so good. I bet he tastes good everywhere—the muscles in my lower body clench.

  I gnaw at my lip, nod, and then relax back against his pillow. He eases off my skirt and panties. He lies there studying me, lightly touching the tops of my thighs, dropping an occasional kiss here and there except where the throbbing is painful right now.

  He kisses the inside of my thigh and then turns his nose to face my sex but not touch it. He breathes in deeply, then closes his eyes as if he has to steady himself.

  I wait, tense and urgent, wanting to push myself into his mouth because just knowing he’s there, the anticipation is fucking almost unbearable. He flicks his tongue against my clit, and a sharp exhale bursts from me, revealing too much how out-of-nowhere ready I am for this. He twirls around my bud as he enters me with a finger and his other hand moves to tug and roll a nipple.

  Every nerve in my body jolts at once.

  I know he felt it because his tongue becomes more insistent there.

  The nerve-rackingly slow assault of his mouth and hands, breaths, licks and sucks makes it clear he’s not unskilled at eating a girl out. In fact, he knows just how to touch and change it up to make me crazy and hover on the edge.

  For a guy about limits he is pushing me to mine. His thorough tending of my cunt is almost more than I can bear.

  My back arches off the bed.

  I’m panting hard.

  My legs are trembling.

  He closes his mouth over me, his tongue penetrating and brushing some inner hot button I didn’t know existed, and that sends sensation rocketing down my limbs.

  I close my eyes, screaming out as my body is consumed by a shuddering climax. I melt into the bed, limp, as Bobby makes his way back up my body, kissing and caressing and blowing along the way.

  He nuzzles my neck and then I feel his body moving away from me. I open my eyes to find him lying on his side, propped on an elbow, staring down at me. I can smell me on his breath—it’s a turn-on, but I don’t know if I want him to kiss me on my lips.

  Crap, how ridiculous I am. One second contemplating his dick in my mouth and now worried he’ll kiss me with me on his tongue.

  Sheepishly, I smile at him. “I don’t know if I should be happy or jealous that you are really good at that.”

  He laughs, kissing me on each eyebrow. “Happy,” he whispers, then groans and lies back on his pillow. He takes off his shorts and his erection springs up at me. “You taste so good. I can’t imagine anything tasting better than you. Touch me, Kaley. I’m in agony here.”

  His eyes drift closed as his fingers start moving in my hair, along my cheek, lightly brushing my lips. The taste of me on his skin is tangy and makes me hot for him all over again.

  My fingers close around his dick, and he groans as my hand starts to move full length up and down him the way he likes. Slowly, a squeeze at the base, up to the head, then a finger around the top, pausing to tease that spot just below the tip.

  I caress his balls and then give a light squeeze before I run my fingers back up. A bead of white pushes out through the tip and I think about taking it with my tongue. I start kissing my way across his jaw, down his neck, his shoulder, his chest and to those perfect abs, lower and lower to the base of his cock.

  I start pumping as I lift my head, mouth open, but before I can take him he stops me with his hand.

  He tenses. “No, Kaley.”

  I freeze.

  Did he just tell me to stop?

  Emotions overtake me—hurt, worry, disappointment, and confusion.

  My hand stops. “Why don’t you want me to do that?”

  His lids lift. The tenderness of his eyes immediately calms me. “The first time I come in you, I don’t want it to be in your mouth. I want it to be inside you, making love to you, and if you so much as touch me there with your mouth, it’s a done deal. I’m going to come in about two seconds.”

  The way he says that makes me laugh.

  My hand gloves his erection again, stroking him slowly at first and then, as his face tenses, faster and faster.

  He moans, pumping his cock into my hand, and I claim his mouth in a deep, full tongue kiss.

  He starts shaking.

  I feel him swell.

  His breathing is uneven.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  We both look toward the door.

  “Stop what you’re doing. Get dressed. Get out here and take Kaley back to school. Your mum says you have two minutes before she’s coming in.”

  “Oh fuck.” Bobby groans, falling back against the bed, and covers his tense face with his forearm.

  Bang. “Two minutes. Did you hear me?”

  Bobby lifts his arm. “Two minutes,” he repeats, damn near shouting. He stares at me in disbelief. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. What the hell is Len doing back?”

  He scrambles from the bed, searching for something to cover his body with.

  Oh shit. It didn’t sound like Len Rowan. The voice was too—crap, I don’t know how to describe it.

  I watch Bobby move around the room. “That was your dad?”

  He nods. “Yep. Get dressed. If Linda says she’s coming in in two minutes she means it.”

  My brows hitch up. “And how would you know that? Prior experience?”

  He gives me a heavily exasperated look. “Don’t give me crap. Not now. And no, they’ve never busted in before. I know it because if Linda says it, she’s doing it.”

  He sits back down on the bed, cradling his head in his hands. He looks like he’s suffering. He was really hard. Swelling. Almost there. This can’t be good for him.

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper and edge forward to kiss his back.

  His face snaps up and he looks over his shoulder at me. “Don’t touch me. Don’t kiss me. He won’t go down if you do and I need to get out there in two minutes.”

  I pout and move away from him.

  “Can you put on some clothes, please? Having your tits popping out in front of me doesn’t help the curre
nt situation.”

  Stifling a laugh, I take my shirt from the bed, pull it on and then find and put on my panties.

  He looks so miserable and embarrassed.

  I search for something to say to lighten the mood. “We should have done it today. Len beating down the door in the middle would have made that milestone moment one neither of us would ever forget.”

  He grimaces. “Not funny. Why do you think I planned the Santa Cruz thing? I wanted it to be a memory you would want to remember always. To be a part of both of our histories in a good way that we won’t ever regret. Not with Len or Linda busting in and ruining it.”

  He grabs a pair of rumpled sweatpants from the clothes piled beside his door, pulls them on, and adjusts his dick and the fabric covering his not completely deflated erection.

  “Today was memorable for me, Bobby. I’m pretty sure I’ll remember it always.”

  He looks at me.

  I bite back a smile.

  He shakes his head. “Don’t say anything. Not one more word. Do you have any idea how fucking awkward it’s going to be to get bitched out by Dad while having a boner?”

  CHAPTER 10

  I stare at the closed door. Bobby left without saying whether I should stay in his bedroom until he’s done dealing with his dad or if it’s expected for me to come out.

  We all know I’m in here.

  I’m pretty sure they know what we were doing in here.

  What am I supposed to do?

  In spite of my anxiety, I momentarily lose my train of thought in the slide show flashing in my head of me and Bobby not five minutes ago on his bed. Holy crap. He definitely knows how to treat a girl’s body. He may not have ever “officially” fucked a girl but I haven’t any doubts he’s going to be amazing at that as well.

  Yep, I’m going to Santa Cruz even if I have to lie to Chrissie to get there. That problem: manageable; this problem: no bueno.

  What the hell are they arguing about out there?

  I go from the bed, grabbing the remainder of my discarded clothes. As I finish dressing, I try to pick out words from the muffled, rapid exchange penetrating the walls of the pool house.