Snitch

by Allison van Diepen

  Q:

  ok. it sucked that u got suspended 4 fighting marie i hoped it wouldnt come to that but I know u had no choice. marie can be psycho

  Julia:

  its ur choice if u wanna hang with a psycho

  Q:

  truth is i dont hang around with her as much these days. we got no beef though and i wanna keep it that way

  Julia:

  good luck with that

  Q:

  the group sucks without you. sometimes i hang around with melisha just her n me. vickys so immature

  Julia:

  shes takin after queen bitch marie

  Q:

  ur right n u know what? vickys getting closer and closer to rlb these days. lisa martinez n toneya pierre even come to our girls nights

  Julia:

  holy shit u know what that means

  Q:

  yea its only a matter of time b4 she joins rlb

  Julia:

  what would melisha do?

  Q:

  she says she doesnt wanna join but that doesnt mean she wont

  Julia:

  shit. drama never seems to end

  Q:

  i know what u mean. anyway i meant to tell u congrats on ur history project

  Julia:

  u heard about it?

  Q:

  ivey said u got the highest mark in all three classes and shes mad stingy with marks

  Julia:

  the paper was on the history of gangs in america. she gave me 95%

  Q:

  wow does that mean u might get into ap class next semester?

  Julia:

  im not interested. i dont need the extra work im too busy with other things

  Q:

  like what?

  Julia:

  chilling writing eric

  Q:

  thats no surprise

  BLOW

  Julia?” he croaked.

  “Eric? Are you sick?” I said into the phone.

  “Yeah. For once I got an excuse for not going to school. I think it’s the flu. Everything hurts. My head. My throat. Even my damn skin hurts.”

  “Oh no! What about the game? You’ve been looking forward to it for ages!”

  “Don’t remind me. Why don’t you use the tickets to take a friend?”

  “You can’t get your money back?”

  “Nah.”

  “Maybe I’ll take Jazz. She’s been down lately. This could really pick her up.”

  “I was thinking of Black Chuck. He wilds out over the Giants. Unless you think Jazz is really into football.”

  “I guess you’re right. I’ll give Chuck a call. Then I’ll stop by and pick up the tickets.”

  “Don’t worry about that. Hex will drop them off.”

  “Hex is taking care of you? That’s sweet.”

  “Yeah, right. He’s only here because I owe him money. Anyway, call Chuck. Hex will be there soon.”

  “All right. Hope you feel better.”

  “Me, too. Thanks, Divine.”

  I called Black Chuck.

  “Holla, Chuck!”

  “Holla back. What’s cracking?”

  “I got an extra ticket to the Giants game and wondered if you’d do me a favor and come with me.”

  “You bet your ass! When is it?”

  “Tonight.”

  “Tonight! I can make it. Wait a minute. How’d you get the tickets?”

  “Eric bought them. But he came down with the flu.”

  “That’s wack. What time’s the game?”

  I laughed. Eric was right. Black Chuck did love football.

  He got to my crib less than an hour later.

  “Ran into Hex downstairs. He gave me the tickets.” Black Chuck waved them like a winning lotto ticket.

  “Don’t be surprised when Eric hits you up for the hundred bucks he paid for it,” I said.

  Black Chuck’s jaw dropped.

  “I’m playing!”

  “Shit, don’t scare me like that! I’m mad dry these days.”

  “I know what you mean.” I grabbed my jacket and scarf. “I’m ready. Let’s dip.”

  We walked down Flatbush toward the Church Avenue subway. I felt something soft and wet brush my cheek. I realized it was snow.

  Black Chuck zipped up his jacket. “Damn, I’m moving to Florida when I graduate.”

  “When’s that gonna be?”

  He glanced at me. “That’s grease, Julia. I’m gonna get it together next semester, you’ll see. I don’t wanna be at South Bay when I’m twenty like Scrap was. He felt so old that he just stopped going.”

  “Did you talk to him about money for Jazz yet?”

  “A little. But I gotta talk to him more.”

  “I know what that means.”

  “Chill, Ju. He’ll come around. She don’t need the money yet, right?”

  “She’ll need it soon.”

  “Don’t worry. Black Chuck is on the case. How’s Jazz anyway?”

  I sighed. “Not good. Her grandma won’t even speak to her, and she hasn’t told her brother yet.”

  “Poor Jazz. She ain’t gonna have it easy.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  When we got to the train station, we followed the signs to the 4/5 track and waited. Chuck was looking good in black and white. It hit me that he wasn’t wearing his colors. He’d even taken the blue shoelaces out of his kicks.

  Black Chuck was taking a night off.

  I was glad.

  THE GAME

  The game was off the hook!

  We nearly lost our voices from cheering the Giants and heckling the Eagles. We ate chili cheese dogs and hot pretzels and drank jumbo sodas and made fun of a group of fat white guys who were drunk enough to rip their shirts off in December.

  I didn’t get home until after eleven. I called Eric, but his phone was off.

  I was brushing my teeth when the phone rang. Spitting out the toothpaste, I picked up. “Hello?”

  “Did you talk to Eric?” It was Black Chuck.

  “No, why?”

  “It all went so wrong. They had a deal today. A big one. They got busted.” He was talking a mile a minute.

  “Busted? Who?”

  “Scrap, Clyde, Karl, Max. Even Latoya. I can’t believe this!”

  “Are you sure? Did Scrap call you?”

  “Homies across the street told me. They saw it all go down. And Julia, they said Eric was there too.”

  “Eric? He couldn’t have been there. He’s got the flu.”

  “Nah, Julia. He must’ve made that up. Guess he didn’t want you to know he was part of the deal.”

  “I don’t believe it.” Eric wouldn’t have cut out of an NFL game for a drug deal. He would never risk dealing in the first place.

  “You better believe it. Raoul, Tariq, and Josh all saw him.”

  “Maybe it was somebody else!”

  “They know what Eric looks like, Ju. Shit, this is the worst thing that could’ve happened. They got caught with so much. . . . They’re fucked!”

  “Did you know about this deal, Chuck?”

  “Yeah.”

  Tears blurred my vision. “This is a nightmare.”

  “For both of us.”

  * * *

  I didn’t sleep that night. I called Eric’s cell again and again, hoping he’d answer and tell me everything was okay, but his phone was off.

  It had to be a mistake. It couldn’t have been Eric those guys saw hustled into a cop car with the lieutenants.

  I slammed down the phone. If only I could get through! But I didn’t have a home phone number for him—he’d always told me I could catch him on his cell.

  I’d look up his number in the phone book! His dad’s name was Arturo Valienté, and his crib was on Fourth Avenue. That was more than enough information.

  I flipped through the Brooklyn White Pages. Valens, Valesquez . . . Valienté!

  But no Arturo. No “A. Valienté” either.

 
; Nothing.

  I went to the Internet and Googled the name Arturo Valienté on the off chance that I’d find contact details.

  Nothing. Nada.

  I glanced at the clock. 4:17 a.m. It would be hours until I knew for sure if Eric had been arrested.

  I crawled into bed, hugging my pillow. Tears welled up in my eyes.

  Eric hadn’t always told me everything, but I couldn’t imagine he would lie to me. That wasn’t the guy I knew. My Eric told me the truth, even if it was hard to hear.

  But if it was Eric who’d been arrested—then what?

  Then he was a liar.

  Then he’d be locked up for a long time.

  NOWHERE

  I need to know where he is!” It was the next morning, 11:35 a.m. I pleaded with the cop at Precinct 17. “He’s my boyfriend and I’m really worried about him.”

  “Sorry, miss. I can’t release that information.”

  Black Chuck banged his fist on the desk. “C’mon, man, tell my homegirl where he’s at. Can’t you see how torn up she is?”

  “I can see that, Mr. . . .”

  “Black Chuck.”

  The cop frowned. “I can see that, er, Black Chuck. But I’m afraid she’ll have to wait for her boyfriend to contact her. There’s nothing I can do.” He retreated to the inner office.

  I plunked down in a chair. “I don’t get it. How come you heard from Scrap, and Jazz heard from Clyde, but I didn’t hear from Eric?”

  “I don’t know. I’m sure he’ll call you by the end of the day. He’s probably meeting with a lawyer. Scrap did, first thing this morning, but he already had a lawyer. So maybe Eric don’t have one yet.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll hear from him. And when you do, don’t dog him out for lying to you, okay? He knows he done wrong. Tell him you love him and all that sweet shit. That’s what he needs to hear.”

  “You’re a sensitive guy, Chuck. I didn’t know that about you.”

  “Yeah, well.”

  We sat there for a while, our elbows on our knees, our heads hanging down.

  “How does it look for them?” I asked.

  “Nobody’s talking. Yet. But I bet the po-po will try to cut a deal with Latoya. You know, innocent woman caught in the middle.”

  “Do you think she’ll go for it?”

  “She’d be stupid not to.”

  “How long do you think . . .” I couldn’t finish. The thought of Eric in jail boggled my mind.

  “If you get caught with more than two ounces, you get ten years.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Everybody knows that.”

  “You think they’ll all go to jail?”

  “No doubt. That’s where most of us will end up sooner or later.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He glanced at me. “You can’t gangbang and stay square, Innocent.”

  “That’s so cynical. What, have you been hustling too?”

  “Here and there.”

  “But I thought you stayed out of that!”

  “You either play the game or you don’t. It ain’t like you become a Crip and say, I’ll do this, this, and this, and not that, and definitely not that, ’cause I don’t wanna get put away. It don’t work like that. I’ll tell you something, Julia. It’s by the grace of God that I wasn’t there last night.”

  That pissed me off. “What are you saying? That God chose you over Eric? That you weren’t meant to get caught, but that Eric and the rest of them were? That’s bullshit. You got lucky.”

  Damn it, I was angry. Angry that Chuck was stupid enough to get involved in the hustling game. Angry that he was free and Eric wasn’t.

  “You’re right, Julia. I shouldn’t have said it that way. I got nothing to be thanking the Lord for, especially now that Scrap is going down. He’s all the family I got. Now I got nothing.”

  My heart broke for him. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight, wishing I could protect him from the world.

  “You got me, Chuck,” I whispered. “It isn’t much, but there it is.”

  NARC

  That afternoon I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. My heart jumped.

  “Eric?”

  “No, it’s Black Chuck,” he snapped. “You been talking to Eric?”

  “No. You?”

  “C’mon, Ju. Don’t play me. I know Eric’s out. He must’ve called you.”

  “Eric’s out? Are you sure?”

  “Guess he didn’t want you to know he’s a fucking narc. Set up his own brothers. Probably got a cut of the bust, tax-free. If I get my hands on Eric, I’m gonna end him!”

  “Back up. Back up. Maybe his dad bailed him out.”

  “Nobody had a bail hearing yet. Po-po let Eric walk right outta there.”

  “Seriously?” My heart leaped. Was Eric getting out of this somehow? Oh, God, please . . .

  “When you talk to Eric, tell him to watch his back.”

  “I’m not gonna do that. Eric would never rat out his friends.”

  “He did a lot more than that, Ju. He’s been working with the cops.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Think about it: Less than two months after he joins the gang, we get raided right after a drop-off. The timing was too good—there had to be a snitch. And then Eric walks out with no charges!”

  “I know it looks bad, but there’s gotta be an explanation. I know Eric. He’s loyal.”

  “You’re blind, Ju. You’re the one who told me he faked being sick so he could get in on the deal.”

  I didn’t know what to say. He was right. Eric had lied to me.

  Yeah, but lying was one thing—snitching was another. I just couldn’t believe he would do it.

  “I gotta go,” Black Chuck said quickly. “It’s my chance to see Scrap. They got him behind glass. Behind glass!”

  “Chuck . . . I’m so sorry.”

  “What are you sorry for? You got your boyfriend back. I bet he got rich off the deal.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” I slammed down the phone.

  * * *

  I stared at the wall.

  Eric.

  A narc.

  A snitch.

  It was impossible.

  The cops must’ve had a reason for not charging him. They obviously realized that he wasn’t one of the main players. Maybe he was just the first to get a bail hearing and the others didn’t hear about it.

  But I could see how the guys would think he could be a narc. People were always suspicious of the new guy. That didn’t make it true though. Narcs were street scum. They cut deals with cops for their own benefit. Sold people out. That wasn’t Eric. He was loyal.

  But loyal to whom?

  I remembered the tattoo.

  Oh my God.

  Was he a Latin King?

  If he was, it made perfect sense. The Latin Kings and the FJC hated one another. Did Eric infiltrate the Crips so he could bring them down?

  If it was true, it was genius.

  TRAITOR

  News that Eric might have snitched on the gang traveled fast. The next day at school, everybody stared at me, pointed, whispered.

  I didn’t have to go looking for the Crip girls. I knew they’d find me.

  I just didn’t know what they would do.

  They came up to me two minutes after I got to my locker.

  My pulse kicked up. Shutting my locker, I said, “Hey.”

  My split-second take was that they weren’t going to attack me. Not this minute anyway. They all had books in their arms, and Sarah and Jazz carried brown-bagged breakfasts with grease spots on the bottom.

  But their eyes had blades.

  “What the fuck is going on, Julia?” Nessa demanded. “We heard your man ratted out Scrap and the lieutenants.”

  “I don’t get it either. I haven’t heard from Eric. I don’t know why the cops let him go.”

  They exchanged looks. Yeah, right.

  “It�
��s true!” I said. “If Eric is . . . what everybody thinks he is, then I’m angry too. Then it means I never really knew him.” I looked from one face to another, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. “I had nothing to do with it.”

  “You joined right after he did,” Apple Jax pointed out. “Pretty convenient, when you think about it.”

  I turned to Jazz, who stood there clutching her books, eerily quiet. “You believe me, right?”

  Her eyes watered, but there was coldness behind them. “I don’t know.”

  “Are you in some kind of trouble, Julia?” Sarah leaned forward, her chest inches from mine. “Is that why you did it? Did you cut a deal to save your ass?”

  “Bullshit. I didn’t cut any sort of deal. I don’t have a record.”

  Nessa grinned nasty. “If that’s true, it looks like your man left you behind. Nobody’s seen Eric since he got out. He’s probably out of state by now. Unless . . . he’s staying with you.”

  “I told you, I haven’t seen him.” It hit me that she may be right—Eric might’ve left town. Would I ever see him again? Would I ever find out what really happened?

  It was unbearable. I felt sick.

  Sarah pouted. “Aw, look, poor Julia’s upset that her boo ran off on her.”

  They snickered.

  I stalked off, half expecting them to follow me, half hoping they would.

  I guess they were in no rush. There was always after school.

  Eric, where the hell are you?

  What did you do?

  How could you have left me in the middle of this?

  The minutes ticked by slowly. I sat in my classes, drowning in my thoughts, wishing I could disappear.

  It didn’t matter that I was innocent. The Crips saw me as guilty by association, and one way or another, they were going to make me pay for what they thought Eric had done.

  At lunch I sat at my locker, alone and jittery. I chewed some food without tasting it. Every time somebody passed me, I looked up to make sure they weren’t going to pounce.

  I recognized Q’s shoes coming up to me. It was a relief to see her. And it looked like she was actually going to talk to me.