Love Until It Hurts (Crazy Love Book 2)

by Carmen DeSousa

  “Promise?” she whimpered.

  How this woman could be twenty-one and still act like a sixteen-year-old was beyond me. “Yes. When I finish, I’ll come over.”

  Finally, she scooted out of my bed and staggered toward the bathroom.

  “The front door’s the other way, Cat.”

  She whipped around and stuck out her tongue. “Man, you’re bossy. I have to go to the restroom. You try being five months pregnant and see if you can hold it.”

  The news had gone on to other stories, and as I thought about it, I realized the footage could have been from earlier and just shown now. So where would Charity be? Still at her friend’s house? At home? Or would she have gone to the hospital? The hospital wasn’t far from Morgan’s house —

  “Ready,” Caitlyn called as she shuffled out of the bathroom.

  I flicked off the TV and corralled her outside, locking the door behind me.

  Caitlyn took her time descending the stairs. I considered leaving her, but no matter how much I wanted to, I’d feel responsible if anything happened to her on my watch.

  Finally, she meandered off toward her Range Rover, so I helped her up inside.

  Her lip jutted out. “Aren’t you going to kiss me good-bye?”

  I hadn’t kissed her once since we’d been … hanging out, so why all of a sudden would she expect a kiss now?

  “No … I’m in a hurry, Cat. I’ll see you later.”

  She blew out a breath. “You’re going to see her, aren’t you?”

  “Cat!” I snapped, “I’m really in a hurry, and I don’t have time for your childish games.”

  “Okay, Brock.” She pulled the seatbelt over her lap. “I love you. Try to remember that when you give up on me and your son.”

  I stared up at her as chills ran down my arm. “Son?”

  “Yeah. I wanted to surprise you, but you’ve been so cranky, I haven’t found the right time.”

  My eyes filled. Not that it mattered if the baby was a boy or a girl, but I’d vowed my entire life that I wouldn’t leave my son without a father, to force him to look for male guidance in the streets, to allow him to end up in a gang as I had done when I was a teenager.

  I stepped up on the running board and unbuckled the seatbelt and pulled Caitlyn into my arms. Her arms latched around my neck, and I kicked the door shut with my foot and carried her back upstairs.

  Not sure if it was possible, but somehow, someway, I had to find a way to forgive Caitlyn.

  And figure out how to fall out of love with Charity Jane and fall back in love with the mother of my child.

  But clearly, I didn’t understand love, since the only two women I’d ever truly loved had hurt me beyond what seemed like repair. The one who’d insisted she loved me so much she had married me had turned around and cheated on me. And the other woman who claimed to love me didn’t want to see me. So how could I control something I didn’t understand?

  The only thing I knew for certain about love was … it hurt like hell.

  Chapter 28 – Charity

  I sat by Morgan’s bed, holding her hand, wondering why she’d supposedly told Nathan all those lies about me.

  After much pressing, Julie had finally told me that Morgan had spread rumors around school that Jesse had broken up with her because he was in love with me.

  That was why Nathan had been going through my phone. Nathan had believed Morgan. And then he’d slept with her to get back at me. Then had broken up with me.

  Morgan must have finally felt guilty and confessed to Nathan, because he’d known I was going to be at the party. And I’d shown up with Brock.

  Oh, what a tangled web we weave … The words came back to me from a literature assignment I’d done in class last week.

  “Char …” Morgan’s voice, scratchy and dry, broke through my thoughts.

  My eyes teared up. No matter what Morgan had done, nothing was worth dying. “Yes.” I rubbed tiny circles into her hand that didn’t have tubes running into it.

  “I’m … so sorry. I —”

  I stood up and hushed her, draping my arms across her chest. “Morgan,” I pulled back and looked at her. “What you did was wrong, but Nathan made his choice.” I shook my head as I prepared to disclose Nathan’s darkest secrets. Was I expected to keep a secret even after his death if I thought it would keep someone from making the same mistake? “If it wasn’t what you did, it would have been something else. Nathan had always been troubled. He tried to kill himself when he was fourteen.” I pressed my hand to her face. “You can’t blame yourself forever, for what happened to him.”

  “But I —”

  “Please … If you kill yourself because of a mistake that involved me, then I’ll kill myself, then Jesse will somehow feel guilty, then Kayla —”

  Morgan choked on a half-cry, half-laugh. “I’ve missed you, Char.”

  “I’ve missed you too.” I blew out a breath, but had to say something else, hoping it wouldn’t upset her more. I had no intention of asking her why she’d told Nathan those things about me, as nothing could change the past, but I wanted her to know that I’d never cheated on Nathan — or her for that matter — by sleeping with Jesse. “Morgan, I … Jesse and I have never gone out or slept together … or anything. Nothing. Never. Not as much as even hand-holding in grade school.”

  Morgan nodded, then gulped. Her mouth sounded pasty, so I reached for the water pitcher and poured some into a styrofoam cup. I held it up to her lips and she took a long swallow.

  Her eyes met mine and filled again. “I blamed you … for Jesse leaving me, because you asked me if I’d introduced him to my father and I mouthed off, saying that nothing would become of us. He broke up with me that night. No reason, just basically threw my words back at me … that we’d never go anywhere after high school.”

  I remembered her words, and wondered why she’d said them. Nathan had practically lived at my house, and my parents had never minded that he hadn’t come from money. My mother was just happy that Nathan insisted he intended to study medicine. Jesse had been smart and a hard worker, determined to take over his father’s company, so I had never understood why she’d been afraid to tell her parents about him. But at least it made some sense now, and I hoped that now that she’d gotten it off her chest she wouldn’t try to kill herself again.

  If Nathan hadn’t jumped off a bridge, he would have probably ended up killing himself with drugs and alcohol. He’d never been happy, had always been suspicious of everyone.

  I leaned over and kissed Morgan on her forehead. “You get some rest. Your parents were just here, but they went down to get something to eat, so I told them I’d watch over you.”

  Morgan’s eyelids fluttered closed, and I looked around the hospital room, knowing for the first time in my life what I wanted to do as a career.

  I stood in the doorway until her parents came back, which thankfully wasn’t very long. “Did Morgan wake up?” her mother asked in a rushed voice.

  “For a few seconds,” I said. “I told her you would be back in a few minutes.”

  “Thank you, Charity,” Morgan’s mom said, squeezing my hand between her cold bejeweled hands. “We’re so thankful you were there for her. Do you have any idea why Morgan would have tried to take her life?”

  “I’m pretty sure it had to do with Nathan …” I lied lightly, but it wasn’t a complete lie, I supposed.

  “Of course,” her father said. “Seemed like a nice kid. They didn’t go out for very long, though, so it kind of surprises me. Morgan has never dated anyone long enough for me to get to know him.”

  I nodded, wondering why she’d been afraid to tell her father about Jesse, whom she’d dated for a couple of years. More than likely, like every family, there were buried secrets, things that no one knew about even in the most upstanding-looking households.

  “My number’s in her phone if you need me.”

  “Thanks, Charity,” her mom said again, and I walked off toward the lobby, ready
to get home and change, and go to sleep, preferably for that fifteen hours I’d wanted earlier.

  As I collapsed in my car, I picked up my phone. My fingers ached to call Brock, but I couldn’t do that now. Not when he was probably getting his life back together. He hadn’t called me since I’d asked him not to, and fate hadn’t seen its way to push us back together, so I had to believe that we weren’t meant to be.

  Besides, I had to get home and study for a test I had to take on Monday, and research what I needed to do to become a child psychologist. Too many young people were in pain in this world, feeling as though they had nowhere to turn, no one to talk to, and I believed I had what it took to help them climb out of their pit of despair.

  Chapter 29 – Brock

  Today was the day, I’d decided. The baby was due any day, and I had to make a decision. I hated hurting Tom. He’d been good to me, offering me a job when no one else was hiring, but I couldn’t support a family on just the few accounts we had. If I ever wanted to open my own business, I needed to make more money and get more accounts.

  As much as I didn’t want it, I knew I had to accept Bill’s offer of going back to work for him. The idea of working for Caitlyn’s father again made me more than nervous, but he’d promised to double what I was making working with Tom.

  At the end of my workday, I went back to the office, something I rarely did, especially on Fridays. I usually just headed home, but Tom always worked late in the office on Friday, and I needed to give him notice of my intent to leave.

  “Brock,” Tom called from his office. “What brings you back in? Thought you’d be long gone, getting a head start on the holiday weekend.”

  Memorial Day … Yeah, Caitlyn had plans. Right after she had the baby, she intended for me to move back in. She was shooting for the long Memorial Day weekend so I could help her out with the new baby. She’d kept to her word. Far as I could tell, she not only hadn’t had a drink, she’d barely gone out in the last five months. She truly was ready to settle down, she’d said.

  And I’d made an effort. As hard as it had been, I’d not called Charity once. My heart hadn’t followed the rules, though. I still felt a hole in my chest, which I was certain was the missing area where Charity was supposed to reside.

  Stop it! I growled internally, then stepped inside Tom’s office. “Do you have a few minutes?”

  “Sure. I’ve wanted to speak to you anyway.”

  Great … Maybe now he was ready to expand, but I wasn’t sure I had enough time to bring in help and make a difference in my salary before the bills started piling up. Before I knew it, I’d be forking out money for doctor’s visits, formula, and diapers. Mai had told me how expensive babies were. “Okay … What’s up?” Any delay I could find, I’d take it. I really didn’t want to leave Tom without a worker.

  “Well, Susan has been asking me to help her with her business. Ever since her husband passed away, she’s taken care of all the management, but it’s a lot of work, and when she tried to hire someone, he screwed things up. As you know, her lawn care business dwarfs what we do. She has contracts with nearly every retirement property up and down the west coast. Her husband had been smart to secure all those contracts as opposed to relying on individual homeowners.”

  “Yeah …” I encouraged him to continue, even though I wasn’t sure where Tom was going.

  “Well, Susan and I are getting married.”

  “Congratulations, Tom. That’s wonderful.”

  Tom smiled. He wasn’t the man I’d come to work for eight months ago. While not even forty, he’d looked old and tired, taken out by life — by Jesse’s mother, I’d later learned. Similar to what Caitlyn had done to me, only she’d left him with a son to take care of and had gone off and married a wealthy stockbroker and had a couple more kids.

  “Susan has also drawn up all the legal documents, making me part owner as of our wedding date.”

  I cocked my head, wondering if he was telling me that I’d no longer have a job. That would certainly make my decision easier. Still, I hated to feel forced to accept the job with Caitlyn’s father. “And?” I pressed nervously.

  “Well, I know you’ve wanted to start your own business, but I was thinking …”

  Tom smiled, and I couldn’t tamp down my excitement, hoping he was suggesting that I take over the operation and hire someone, or several someones, to work for us. That would work. It wouldn’t be as great as owning my own business, but I was sure running the business would come with a raise, and I could increase profits in no time. More importantly, it’d be great not to have to work in mud and sludge all day.

  “What if you bought me out?” Tom finally concluded his thought.

  “Oh …” I sat back in the chair, my hands resting on the edge of the desk. “Tom, umm … that’d be great, but … I’m afraid I don’t have that kind of money.” According to my research, a turnkey business like Tom’s would cost anywhere from half a million to three million dollars. And with the years of service and contracts Tom had, three million was probably a closer figure. No way would a bank lend me that kind of money, even taking over an established business.

  “I’m sure we can come to an agreement. I own everything outright and I don’t need upfront money; I know the company’s good for it, and you definitely are. We’ll figure out what the property and equipment are worth, and I’ll hold the loan. If you’re interested, that is.”

  I threw both of my hands over my mouth to hold back a whoo-hoo, but jumped out of my seat anyway. Tom stood too, and I embraced the man who felt more like a father to me than my dad ever had.

  Tom stepped back from my hug. “Does that mean you’re interested? Because if so, I can get the lawyer to draw up the papers at the same time he’s drawing up all the others.”

  “Yes! Heck yeah! Thank you!” I grabbed him again. “Thank you! Get ’em ready as soon as you can. I am so ready for this!”

  I walked out of the office and loped to my car, my hand immediately reaching for my phone to call Charity. I shook my head. No. Not Charity …

  Yes! I had meant Charity. I wanted to call Charity. This is what I’d needed, what she’d known I needed. She’d said that we needed to stay apart while we figured out what to do with our lives. This is what I’d needed in my life to feel that I could take the next step. Security. For once in my life, I wouldn’t feel like just a blue-collar worker; I’d be a business owner.

  I’d silenced my phone while I was talking to Tom, since Caitlyn tended to send me twenty texts a day. As soon as I climbed into my seat, I turned on the ringer. The phone soared to life with several texts, one after another:

  Why aren’t you answering your phone? It’s time ! !!

  Where are you ? ??