A Bolder Version of Me (The Destiny Clark Saga Book 3)

by Cindy Ray Hale

  A loud gasp escaped my lips. “What?” No! My dreams were shattering around me, and I was helpless to to fix it.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Isaac challenged, anger contorting his beautiful face. “If you’re going to punish someone, pick me instead.” My heart warmed at his words. He would do that for me? “In fact, I’ll step down from being Marius if it means she gets to stay in as Éponine. She’s worked so hard. It’s wouldn’t be fair to take it from her.”

  “She should have thought of that before she lured in my son.”

  “She’s sitting right in front of you. You don’t have to talk about her like she’s not here,” Isaac snapped.

  Dr. Robinson placed both hands on the desk and leaned closer to me. I resisted the urge to shrink away. “Stay away from my son,” he demanded in a low, controlled voice that sent fear into the core of my heart. He turned back to Isaac and crossed his arms. “Is that direct enough for you?”

  Isaac smirked. “Last time I checked the handbook, there was no rule against a Mormon and a Baptist dating.”

  “That’s because the founders never intended to have Mormons in attendance.”

  I looked him in the eye and spoke, my voice clear, but respectful. “Dr. Robinson, I’m sorry you feel that way. The entire time I’ve attended your school, I’ve lived my religion quietly. Even though there’s no rule against giving out a Book of Mormon to my friends at school, I never have. If someone comes to me with a question, I don’t mind answering it for them, but I don’t like cramming my religion down someone else’s throat.”

  Dr. Robinson said, “You’re missing the point. By dating Isaac, you have pushed your religion on others.”

  “No, I haven’t.” I didn’t add that every time we’d talked about it, Isaac had been the one to bring it up first.

  “You call inviting missionaries to my sister’s house barely talking about religion?”

  “I didn’t invite them. I was surprised to see them, too.”

  “And you expect me to believe that. You Mormons are all the same. You suck our people into your web of lies.” I opened my mouth to defend myself, but before I could speak, he bellowed, “I will not have my son involved with you people.”

  “Isaac and I aren’t that different,” I insisted. “We believe the same stuff. I just believe a few extra things.” Dr. Robinson shook his head, but I continued, courage filling my chest as I spoke. “In fact, when my family converted, we kept our old beliefs and added to what we already knew.”

  “I disagree. This isn’t something I would normally say to you, but under the circumstances, I feel the need to make my stance on your family’s conversion clear.”

  “Okay.”

  “You say your family kept your old beliefs. I know for a fact that’s false. They brainwashed you. Lies twisted your old beliefs.”

  “How can you say that? How can you tell me what I believe? Don’t you realize I understand the differences between our religions by now?”

  “They have misled you.”

  “No one misled me.” A lump rose in my throat as I recalled a memory close to my heart. “When I was in kindergarten, I heard Dr. Green preach about salvation, and I felt the Holy Spirit move upon me so strongly I couldn’t stay in my seat when they called us to the front. You may imagine that’s too young to understand, but I did. I accepted Christ as my Savior that day, and He’s been with me ever since.” As I spoke, goose-bumps rose on my arms. “I still know today, beyond any doubt, that Jesus died for my sins. I know He rose again, and if I dedicate my life to Him and follow Him faithfully, I’ll live with Him forever. I knew it then, and I know it now. That part never changed for me.”

  Dr. Robinson shook his head. “I’m sorry, Destiny. You’re not a Christian.”

  My jaw fell open. “How can you say that?” I’d spoken the words straight from my heart. I meant them from the bottom of my soul.

  “You believe in a different Jesus than we do.”

  Stunned, I fell back in my seat. I’d never heard such nonsense before. “What? Last time I checked there was only one Jesus. Isaac, you don’t believe that do you?”

  He looked from me to his dad, indecision written on his face.

  Dr. Robinson lifted his chin, confidence gleaming in his eyes. “We believe in the Trinity. You don’t. Therefore, you believe in a different Jesus. I’m only trying to help you, Destiny. If you stay on this wayward path your parents chose for you, you’re doomed to an eternity of misery. I care about you and your family. I just don’t want to see that happen. So take this chance, right here, to rededicate your life and come back to us.”

  He didn’t get it. “My parents didn’t choose this path for me. I chose it for myself. Sure, I was young when I converted, but I could have come back to being a Baptist at any time since then. Do you want to know why I haven’t? I’ve prayed about it, and I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. So how can I rededicate my life when it’s already on the right path?”

  Dr. Robinson’s jaw tightened. He lifted a Bible from the corner of the desk. “You say you’re on the right path, but yet you believe the Book of Mormon to be God’s word. Revelations: 22 says, ‘If anyone adds or takes away from this book, they shall have plagues added to them and the tree of life taken away.’”

  “That scripture was referring to the Book of Revelation. If you’d studied the topic more, you would have realized the Bible hadn’t even been canonized, yet. You get this information from people who have studied it briefly. If you want to learn about Mormons, ask a Mormon, not someone who’s researched a few books and websites written by Baptists or ex-Mormons with a grudge. If I want to learn about Muslims, I wouldn’t talk to a Jew or an anti-Semitic skinhead. I’d go to a mosque to talk to the Muslims who’ve studied it all their lives.”

  The bell rang.

  I stood up and slipped my backpack onto my shoulders. “You have a choice to make, Isaac. You can listen to your dad’s lies, or you can pray and research it the right way to find out for yourself. When you figure it out, let me know.”

  Fists clenched, I walked from the room.

  11

  Isaac

  “Destiny, wait.” I rushed after her down the hall. Within several long strides, I’d caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

  Her eyes flashed at me.

  Students poured from the classrooms and gawked at us. A crowd of freshmen passed us wearing those stupid “Save Isaac” badges. They stared and began whispering.

  “He’s with her again…”

  “Guys, God’s in control. Everything happens for a reason.”

  “Don’t forget what Aspen said: He’ll come around. We just have to keep praying and have faith.”

  I pulled her away from them. “We need to talk.”

  She stared back at me for a moment, but then nodded.

  I led her out the back door to the soccer field and scanned the area. It was deserted. I climbed onto the first row of bleachers. She sat beside me.

  We stayed there for a moment, and I gazed up into the overcast sky.

  “I’m not sure I can do this much longer,” she whispered.

  Dread crept into my mind, as gray as the thick blanket of clouds overhead. I should’ve seen it coming. I should’ve known.

  “It feels like the entire world is against us, you know?”

  I studied her down-turned face, the way her shoulders slumped in defeat. “We can make it work. We knew it would be hard, but I don’t regret it. Every second I’ve spent with you has been worth it.”

  She shook her head. A slow drizzle began to fall. “I keep thinking about how much better your life would be without me.”

  “What?” My voice broke. “Why would you think that?”

  “Isaac, look at me.” She stepped out onto the grass, faced me, and threw her hands outward in the rain. “I’m nothing special. You can have any girl in this school. Why would you pick me?”

  “Where are you getting this idea from? You’re beautiful!”

&
nbsp; “I’m sorry.” She shook her head.

  “You can’t be serious.”

  She looked at me, so many nameless emotions crossing her face. Her bottom lip trembled. “It’s for your own good.”

  She walked toward the building as I sat stunned on the bleachers. I sprang up and ran after her. I wrapped her into my arms, buried my hands in her hair, and kissed her. At first she froze in my embrace, but then she kissed me back—hesitant at first, but her intensity increased until she kissed me with a hunger. I wished I could freeze that moment in time, feeling her against my body, kissing her with the rain streaming down our cheeks.

  I pulled away and gazed into her bright eyes. “Stay with me, Destiny. I will always stand by you.”

  She stared at me, her blue eyes wavering. “I just… need time to figure things out.” Her voice faltered, and she pushed away from me.

  “I’m still here,” I called, desperation lancing through my body. “This isn’t over.”

  She didn’t look back. I stood on the edge of the soccer field, the rain drenching my head and running in rivers down my face. She was leaving me. She really was. I couldn’t believe it. I sat on the bleachers and put my head in my hands. My wet shirt stuck to my back. I sat like that for ten minutes, until the soccer team started showing up.

  “Hey, Robinson, you okay?” Carlos Rodriguez asked.

  “Yeah, I’m all right.”

  “Have fun with football today. I hear Coach is still making you practice in the rain.”

  I trudged off to the locker room to get changed, but for once in my life, I wasn’t in the mood to play football.

  On the way home, I sat in silence in the passenger seat as Dad drove. Rain pounded on the windshield with a vengeance.

  “Isaac…”

  “What?” I mumbled.

  “I know you’re upset, but I want what’s best for you.” His voice broke the rhythm of the windshield wipers beating away.

  “Quit telling me to break up with her. You’re wasting your breath.” What did it matter now? She’d already given up. I didn’t bother telling Dad that, though. The last thing I needed right now was to see the triumph on his face. His meeting with Destiny today had achieved what he’d wanted. It was his fault she left me. I was so furious with him that there was no way I was letting him know he’d won. Why did it have to hurt so much? I was fighting against my blood for her, and she couldn’t even stay strong for me.

  “Is she worth your salvation?”

  Why didn’t it surprise me that Dad getting all self-righteous? “I’m not giving up my salvation,” I snapped. “I’m pretty sure it’s still there.”

  “You have to break up with her.” Dad’s voice escalated as the car whipped around a sharp bend in the road curving left around a deep ravine.

  “Shut up!” I screamed. “There’s nothing wrong with them, Dad. All these years you’ve told me that Mormons were going to Hell. Well, I don’t see it anymore. I’ve been in her home, I’ve seen how they worship. When this school year started and Hannah became friends with Destiny, I was terrified. I thought Destiny would convert her. So Will and I came up with this plan. I would befriend Destiny and dig up some dirt on the Mormons. I don’t know what we expected to find. That they perform secret animal sacrifices in their closets? That the men keep a bunch of extra wives in their basements? I went in Destiny’s basement the day we played paintball. Do you know what Bishop Clark has down there?” Did I just refer to him as Bishop Clark? I ignored it and continued on when Dad didn’t answer. “They have a bunch of food. Ooh, scary stuff. The Clarks sure are crazy. They keep food storage in their basement.” I threw my hand in the air. “Are you following me? I see nothing to be concerned about.” His face had grown more hardened with each word I’d spoken. “And you know what else?” It wasn’t necessary to add the next part, but I was so angry I couldn’t resist. “I went to church with her, too.”

  Dad hit the brakes, and the tires screeched. “You what?”

  “Dad, you’re stopped in the middle of the road.” I twisted in my seat. The short stretch of pavement behind us disappeared around the sharp curve we’d just taken. Rain pounded on the windshield.

  “I’m not moving until you swear you’ll break it off and never set foot inside a Mormon church again.”

  “You’re insane!” Didn’t he see the danger he’d put us in? The storm raged all around us, and the ditch to our right had filled with muddy water, tinted orange from the red clay. To our left, on the other side of the oncoming traffic, was a deep, tree-filled ravine.

  A dump truck plowed down the hill coming from the opposite direction.

  “Dad, you need to move the car!”

  The truck whizzed by, splashing a small tidal wave of water on us as it passed. It ran down the windows like a muddy car wash. Just then, water shot forward, coming from behind us as a sudden impact hit the rear of the car. Dad screamed as the car whipped around, swirling water like a whirlpool. We stopped inches from the edge of the ravine. I looked out my window straight into the oncoming traffic. Through the pounding rain, I spotted a set of headlights descending the hill at full speed.

  Then everything went black.

  12

  Destiny

  I fiddled with a tube of Cake Batter ChapStick, popping the lid on and off, staring off into the downpour outside instead of focusing on the homework spread across my desk. Out of habit, I checked my phone to see if I’d gotten any texts from Isaac. Then I remembered: I’d dumped him. The pain seared in my chest, but I knew it was the best thing for us. We were too different.

  At least he’d get his phone and his truck back now. Within a week he’d forget me and move on to some other lucky girl. That was what I wanted, right? Wasn’t it best for him? The sadness hung over me, thick and miserable. I tortured myself by reliving how he’d pulled me in close, how the rain had made his lips extra slippery as they moved over mine, how his stubble had scratched my chin in a way that made me want more. I shuddered. It didn’t help to think about it, but the memory would stay with me forever. It was our last kiss. And we’d had an epic story of forbidden love. Sure, it was over-the-top, but I felt dramatic.

  I’d lost everything. My parents were furious with me, Michael could hardly look at me, and Olivia expressed a strange mixture of jealousy and self-righteousness. I’d lost my role as Éponine, so all my hard work was for nothing. I couldn’t even walk down the halls at school without people giving me hateful looks and telling me I was going to Hell. And today, I’d pushed Isaac away.

  My phone buzzed. I stared at it, sitting on the corner of my desk. It was a text from Hannah. Something happened to Isaac. Call me.

  What did she mean? Something happened? Had she found out how much trouble he was in today? The phone rang in my ear.

  “Hello?” she choked out. Was she crying?

  “Hannah? What’s wrong?”

  “Isaac’s been hurt,” she sobbed.

  “What? How?” Panic built up in my chest. I pressed my fists into my forehead. Please, no, no, no!

  “He was in a car accident coming home from school today.”

  “How bad is it?” I bit my lip.

  “We don’t know yet. He’s unconscious. They took him in an ambulance to the hospital.”

  My mind traveled down the list of worst-case scenarios. If anything happened to him… I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed harder than I’d ever prayed for anything in my life. Please Heavenly Father, even if he can’t be mine, protect him. Heal him.

  “If he wakes up or if there’s any news, text me, even if it’s in the middle of the night. I—I have to go.” Tears threatened like an impending thunderstorm.

  “Of course, I will.”

  I ended the call, and sobs shook my body. I climbed into my bed, not even bothering to change out of my school uniform and curled up under my covers. What if Isaac died, and the last thing I ever said to him was that I was turning my back on our relationship? Either that or he’d have to wake up in pain
in a hospital bed with the knowledge that I hadn’t been willing to tough it out by his side.

  My crying slowed to hiccups in the dark room. The door cracked open, and Olivia entered the room.

  “Why are you in bed already?”

  “Leave me alone, Livie.”

  “Isaac dumped you, didn’t he? I heard about the Save Isaac Club. I guess all that praying finally worked. Either that or he got tired of being treated like a reject. That must have been hard for His Royal Highness.”

  I buried my head into my pillow and screamed, “Go away!”

  She ignored me. Instead, she got out her phone and started tapping away. Was she texting Brinlee, saying that I’d broken up with Isaac? I rolled to face the wall, but I could still hear her messaging back and forth with someone. I curled my arms around my phone in case Hannah texted me anything. At some point, I drifted off to sleep.

  When the alarm on my phone went off for seminary, I turned it off and sat up in my rumpled uniform. There were no new texts on my phone. Was he still unconscious?

  I dragged myself to the shower. What if he was in a coma or ended up with brain damage? He had his whole life ahead of him. As the water pounded my head and down my back, I began to feel a bit better.

  Once I was dressed, I brushed my hair back into a ponytail and put on lip gloss and mascara. I climbed into Michael’s green Honda Civic, and we drove down the driveway. Most days, we chatted on the short drive to seminary, but today, I leaned against the window and closed my eyes.

  “Are you okay?” Michael asked.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine. Olivia said you were crying last night.” He glanced at me, his brows knit in concern. “Did Isaac dump you?” He asked it gently, but I could hear the underlying hope in his voice. It only made me feel worse. Still, he’d asked nicely, so he deserved a truthful answer.

  “No.”

  “Oh,” he said in a dull voice.