Witches Gone Wicked: A Cozy Witch Mystery (Womby's School for Wayward Witches Book 3)

by Sarina Dorie

  I struggled with three more abdominal thrusts. Students screamed too close to my ear. My instincts told me to punch them in the face to get them to shut up. Fortunately, I managed to ignore them. After the fifth thrust, a chunk of bread came flying out of Ben’s mouth, landing on the table. He coughed, the sound wet and phlegmy.

  I tore the water from the girl’s hands, sloshing it on myself and Ben as I handed it to him. He gulped it down, stopped to cough, and kept drinking.

  “What kind of magic was that?” someone asked.

  I pushed a handful of pink hair out of my face. “It’s called the Heimlich Maneuver.” I sat down on the floor in the middle of everything, the rush of adrenaline fading.

  Hailey elbowed Ben. When he said nothing, she selected a fork from her table and stabbed Ben in the thigh.

  He dropped the pitcher and screamed. “What the fuck was that for?”

  “Say thank you,” she said through clenched teeth.

  “Thanks,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me.

  He said it almost too quietly to hear. I wouldn’t have noticed, except that I realized the kids were actually quiet. Everyone stared at me. Josie crouched at my side, her hand on my shoulder. Professor Bluehorse stood next to Ben.

  It was eerily silent. I wondered if I’d gone deaf.

  A lone set of hands clapping startled me, and I turned. Imani stood on one of the benches at a table nearby. “Go, Miss Lawrence! You rock!”

  The girl next to her clapped. “You just saved that douchebag’s life!”

  I tried not to laugh.

  More students started clapping and cheering. For the rest of the day kids gave me high-fives in the hallway. Julian congratulated me, and even Vega offered me a tight smile. Magic or no magic, the kids had finally accepted me. And maybe the teachers too.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Unexpected Romances

  Pro Ro stood in the hallway outside the cafeteria after dinner. Tonight’s turban was a pale blue that matched his flowing robes. Josie and I were discussing Hailey’s test score as we came out of the great hall.

  Josie was talking so animated with her hands she nearly knocked her mauve witch hat off her head. “This is the highest F she’s ever gotten! Usually she just gets two points for writing her name on her paper, and she doesn’t always get that because she forgets to write her last name. This was fifty-six percent. It’s a record!”

  I pretended I didn’t see Pro Ro and kept walking. “Aren’t there any parents or volunteers who might be able to privately tutor—”

  “Ahem,” Pro Ro said.

  We turned.

  “Good evening.” I continued walking, unsettled by the intensity in his eyes.

  “Miss Lawrence, might I have a word with you?”

  “Sure.” I grabbed Josie’s arm to keep her at my side.

  She staggered back. She plastered an obviously fake smile on her face.

  Pro Ro chewed on his lower lip. “Alone?” He looked to Josie.

  I held her arm even tighter. “Josie and I are going upstairs together. Teacher planning stuff. What’s up?”

  “Never mind.” He turned away and trudged down the hall.

  “Creepo,” Josie said. “You have got to get an appointment with the principal tomorrow. Don’t take no for an answer from Mrs. Keahi. Just walk past her and go in. This is too important.”

  “That isn’t going to help if Jeb isn’t at school.” He was always off campus for meetings.

  I thought of the hall of mirrors. I could probably get in to see Jeb after-hours that way. He might be mad I’d invaded his privacy, but this was more important.

  A gentle tap came at my door at eight forty-five as Vega and I were getting ready for bed. My roommate was at her wardrobe, setting out her clothes for the following day. She flicked her hand at me to get the door.

  My heart fluttered with hope that it might be Julian. I would have done anything for an excuse to spend time alone with him. It didn’t have to be touching—it was better not to be—but just to be in his presence was enough. Almost.

  I opened the door, all joy fading. Students were the last visitors I expected. Hailey Achilles held an auburn-haired boy in an arm lock. It was Ben O’Sullivan.

  “Um,” I said.

  “Students aren’t allowed up here!” Vega yelled from behind me. “This is the teacher wing.”

  “It’s important,” Hailey insisted, eyes on me. “You said I could come and see you any time.”

  “Ow. Ow. Ow. Let up,” Ben said, his arm still twisted behind him.

  “What’s going on?” I stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind me. “Hailey, why are you twisting his arm like that?”

  She shook him. “Tell her.”

  “Let me go!”

  She released him, but she kept one hand on his scrawny neck.

  “I’m sorry I tried to hex you a couple weeks ago, and I wanted to thank you more sincerely for saving my life today.”

  “You’re welcome.” I had made a bigger impression on the kids than I’d realized.

  Hailey nudged him.

  “As token of my appreciation, I would like to thank you properly.” Ben sighed dejectedly. “I’ve come to offer you a reward for your services.”

  I crossed my arms. “What do you mean?”

  “He has to grant you a wish because you saved his life. That’s how it works for Fae—and those descended from them.” Hailey mouthed the word, “Leprechaun.”

  “Really? I can ask for anything.” Delight tickled me.

  “I’m only half Fae,” Ben said. “I’m limited by my magical abilities. All I have to do is enough to pay my debts.”

  I crossed my arms. “Right. ‘A Lannister always pays his debts’ syndrome.”

  “Huh?” Ben gave me a puzzled look.

  There were a lot of things I could ask for as a wish, but I didn’t know the skill level of his magical abilities. Even a selfless wish was difficult, considering I could have asked him to behave, to study, or to stay out of trouble. Those weren’t magical, of course. Nor did I know if he actually knew how to do any of those. Then again, I’d seen how inept my students were at magic. Maybe I didn’t want a magic wish.

  In any case, I wasn’t going to waste this wish on magic candy or a bucket of hydra water like I had with my last wishes. I needed to think about this and weigh my options. I wanted something that would save my job and the school.

  I leaned against the doorway. “Do you know what’s going to happen to me at the end of the semester?” Possibly sooner.

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Most art teachers don’t last that long.”

  “They might not have enough money to rehire me for next semester. Do you know why?”

  “Cuz our school sucks.”

  I had to give him that. “Art is always the first subject to get cut. Our budget is already stretched thin, maybe too thin to keep me as it is. But the school is facing a fine because someone stole the answer keys to the exams.”

  He looked to Hailey. “We don’t got the answer keys. Everyone thinks that’s why we were out of bed.”

  “If it wasn’t to cheat on a test, why were you out?” I asked.

  They exchanged glances with each other.

  I asked, “Well? You weren’t hunting Pokémon, were you?”

  Hailey snorted. If she knew what Pokémon and CPR was, she must have been raised in the Morty Realm.

  “We were searching for the Ruby of Wisdom,” Hailey said.

  “Don’t tell her!” Ben said.

  “It’s way better than a stupid answer key. Legend has it that the person who possesses it can master any magical skill. But for centuries it has been lost under the school. The last person rumored to have searched for it was one of the former headmistresses.”

  “Right.” She meant my mother. I returned to the problem at hand. “Professor Thistledown said he heard you talking about the answe
r key the night you were apprehended.”

  “No way!” Ben said.

  Hailey rolled her eyes. “He’s such a tool.”

  I held up a finger in warning. “I don’t want to hear you talk about teachers at this school so disrespectfully.”

  Ben tried to sneak away, but Hailey grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back. “It would be easy to pass his class if I wanted to,” she said.

  I doubted that considering her study habits. “Well, maybe you should want to.”

  She snorted. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

  “I get that you can’t read. I’m willing to help you with that.”

  “What?” Ben laughed.

  Perhaps I shouldn’t have said that in front of Ben. Hailey was now going to lose face and behave even worse.

  She punched the wall, snarling like a wild cat. “That isn’t what I mean.” She shook out her fist and shoved Ben away from my door. “Come on, dork breath, let’s go. We aren’t narcs.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  They trudged away.

  “Great,” Ben said. “She didn’t use up her wish. That means I still owe her. I hate you.”

  “Shut up!” she said.

  “You, shut up!”

  When I opened the door, Vega stumbled back.

  I crossed my arms. “Were you listening?”

  “No.” She made her way over to her bed. “By the way, the next time you’re given a wish on a silver platter, you should really consider a charm that will make you taller. Or to make your hair less pink.”

  “I like pink.”

  Five minutes later when the lights were out, and we both were lying in bed, she said, “Or to get rid of your freckles.”

  Ten minutes later she said, “Or to make fish and chips carb-free and fat-free.”

  Now that I had figured out how to run my cell phone on magically powered electricity, I could use it as a flashlight again. I waited until Vega was asleep before I went to see if Jeb was in his office, in his room, or any of the rooms for that matter. Thatch’s mirror was dark red, a slight glow showing through. Probably he’d covered it with a curtain.

  Pro Ro was chanting as usual. His turban looked as red as blood again. He sat cross-legged, his hands cupped before him. A fire burned in his palms. Nothing was overly suspicious at first glance. Then I noticed he had a lock of pink hair he burned in the fire. My hair. My core tingled.

  I snapped a photo and ran. More than ever, I was certain he had a nefarious plan for me. I wanted to talk to a friend. I wanted to see Julian.

  I walked by the other mirrors, considering going to Jeb. My feet took me to Julian’s mirror instead. I was drawn to him like a magnet. He was always so nice to me, such a good listener, and so patient. I would have taken him as a teacher over Thatch any day.

  When I caught sight of Julian sitting up in bed, I halted. My feet rooted to the floor as shock seized me. He was naked. A teenage girl sat straddled on his lap, also naked.

  No, no, no! This couldn’t be real. But it was.

  My Prince Charming was screwing a student.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  My Future Ex-Boyfriend

  I stared, too horrified to move. Hailey’s complaint about how to get good grades in Julian’s classes finally clicked.

  Julian kissed the young woman, his hands roving up and down her back. She was blonde, but I couldn’t see who she was. Dinner rebelled against me and roiled in my belly.

  That poor girl. She’d been seduced—or worse—coerced by a teacher. I wanted to know who this girl was. She needed counseling.

  I needed counseling. How could he do this to me? I thought he’d loved me.

  Thatch’s reluctance to allow Julian to teach me made sense. Had Thatch known Julian was a womanizer? How could he have turned a blind eye to such unprofessional behavior with students? I tripped back, bumping into a basket of laundry that hadn’t been there a moment ago.

  I fell on my butt and toppled the contents of the basket onto the floor.

  “Oi! Watch it!” the brownie said.

  I pointed to Julian and the teenager. “He’s sleeping with a student.”

  “Doesnae look like much sleeping is getting done in there, lass.” The little creature threw the laundry back into the basket.

  Another spindly creature laughed, dragging a basket of his own down the hallway. “Definitely nae sleeping.”

  “Don’t you care?” I asked. “It’s unethical. It’s unprofessional. Isn’t it illegal? She’s a minor.”

  The brownie kept dragging his basket. “That be some kind of slang? If it is, he’s the one using a pickaxe, if you ken my meaning.”

  “She doesnae look like a dwarf or gnome much to me,” the other said.

  “A minor, as in underage,” I said. “She’s a student. He’s a teacher.”

  “None of our business what Morties or Witchkin do.”

  My vision blurred with tears of frustration. I didn’t want to look again, let alone take a photo of what they were doing, but I was afraid if I didn’t, no one would believe me. I took a few snapshots and then turned off my phone. Hopefully I wouldn’t be accused of keeping child pornography on my phone later.

  I didn’t know what to do or who to talk to. I doubted Vega would do anything. If Khaba had been in his room, I might have confided in him, but he wasn’t. Thatch was out of the question. He’d just tell me I was a dumb-ass, I shouldn’t have been dating a colleague in the first place, and this was what I deserved. From his archaic classroom management methods, I doubted he cared about the student involved.

  I trudged down the hall of mirrors. I hesitated at Josie’s portal. She lay asleep in a canopy bed. I hated to wake her, but I needed someone to talk to. I jumped through the mirror, tripping on the frame, and stumbled into the foot of her bed.

  Josie sat up. “Who’s there?”

  “It’s me. Clarissa.”

  She touched her wand to an oil lamp. Her hair was in a ponytail and her pajamas were pale pink with skulls on them. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who shopped in the junior’s department. She blinked the sleep from her eyes.

  “I didn’t know where else to go.” I flung myself at her and burst into sobs.

  She stroked my hair. “What’s wrong? Is it Pro Ro? Thatch? Has someone cursed you?”

  People who might be trying to kill me felt inconsequential at the moment. “No! It’s Julian. I just saw him. He was with a student—in bed with a student.”

  “What? No way!” Her eyes went wide. “You need to start at the beginning.”

  She tucked me under the covers and sat beside me while I told her what I’d been doing. She scrolled through the images on my phone. I had to hold onto my phone, so it wouldn’t stop working once I broke contact with the device.

  She covered her mouth the moment she saw the photo of Julian with the girl. “What a scumbag!” She stopped scrolling when she got to the pics of Pro Ro. “Okay, that’s a little creepy too.”

  I sobbed against her shoulder until no more tears came. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “First, you need to email yourself these pictures. If your phone is confiscated by Khaba, someone else needs to have proof of this. Text them to me, too.”

  “I don’t have service here.”

  “Email yourself from Happy Hal’s tomorrow.” She slid out of bed. “First, we’re going to see Jeb, and we aren’t taking no for an answer.” She wrapped herself in a housecoat and then added a violet cape over that. “We’re going to tell him and Khaba everything you’ve seen, but we’re going to keep the cell phone out of sight. Unless they ask for proof, we don’t need to say you were breaking school rules and using an electronic device. Got it?”

  I crawled out of bed and stood beside her. She linked her arm through mine, and we went to the principal’s quarters. He didn’t answer our knocks, no surprise, it being close to midnight by now.

>   “Show me the other way,” she said. “The way you came to me in my room through the mirrors.”

  I didn’t want to see Julian again, but I led her to the hallway anyway.

  We passed a group of brownies dragging laundry baskets in the hallway of mirrors. One raised a fist at me and shook it. “What ye be going bringing more bootlickers into our workspace? Ye ken this isnae a funhouse. Stay outta our passage, and donnae bring no more human folk this way, you hear?”

  Josie didn’t even acknowledge them. She headed straight toward the windows of silvery light. Teachers were asleep in their rooms. Pro Ro had gone to bed.

  I kept my eyes down when we came to Julian’s room. It was dark now. I could see him in his bed, asleep. I couldn’t tell if anyone else was there with him, though in truth, I didn’t try to look very hard. Josie crossed her arms, staring into his room.

  Khaba was still absent from his quarters. Jeb’s parlor was empty, as was his office. His bedroom was too dark to tell if he slept in there or not.

  “Come on,” Josie said. “Like it or not, here we come.”

  We strode through the looking glass like Alice in her adventures. It must have been the thought of Lewis Carroll that made me think of pedophiles anew.

  The room was darker than it had been through the mirror. Josie walked over to a lamp and tapped it with her wand. The bed was empty.

  The furnishings were tasteful, a medieval mahogany bed with matching dressers, wardrobe, and nightstand carved with the same intricate pattern of flowers. Compared to the clutter of his office, this room was sparsely furnished, looking like it belonged to a completely different man.

  “None of his wards are going off. That is so bizarre,” Josie said.

  I shrugged. “I guess it makes sense. This is how the brownies get around. If an alarm rang every time they cleaned up, it would be going off every night.”

  Josie opened the door and strode into his sitting room. “That must be how the kids broke into his office at the beginning of the year. And probably how they stole the answer keys.”

  I wasn’t so sure about either of those theories. I didn’t think the students had stolen the answer keys. Someone had. According to Khaba, I was the one who would find them. No pressure.