Flawed: A Love Letters Novel

by Kristen Blakely

  She swallowed through the lump in her throat and blinked hard against the sting of tears.

  His stoic expression collapsed. “Damn it, Ariel. Don’t. Just don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t make me feel like I’ve hurt you. Don’t you see, I’m trying hard not to.”

  “Would you like to come up for a drink?”

  He sighed. “Ariel, it’s…not a good idea. I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. It’s getting harder to keep telling myself ‘down, boy.’ I should just go. Take a cold shower and chill out the rest of the evening.” He turned away.

  Her words burst out unchecked. “I came to Fort Lauderdale to have a fling.”

  He stopped and looked over his shoulder. “What did you say?”

  She interlaced her fingers to keep herself from wringing her hands together. “I said, I came to Fort Lauderdale to have a fling. You talked me out of it last night, and then spent today talking me back into it.”

  He strode up to her. The fury flashing in his eyes caught her off guard. “I don’t like the game you’re playing.” Thank God, he kept his voice low, but it left no doubt as to his anger.

  “I’m not playing a game. I didn’t want a one-night stand, but I want you.”

  “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

  “I know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Today, I said nothing—”

  “You said all the right things.” Her throat swelled with emotion. “You told me I loved bartending, and you’re right, I do. I just never realized it before. I…I had an amazing day. I don’t want it to end. Not yet.”

  A muscle twitched in Jake’s smooth cheek. “I can’t. I can’t go to your room and behave like a gentleman. I’m not that strong.”

  “I’m not expecting you to be.” She drew in a deep breath. “One night.”

  Jake closed his eyes. “Damn it, Ariel.” His shoulders slumped as he sighed. When he raised his head, their eyes met. The intensity in them burned into her. “No complications?”

  She nodded. “No complications. I’m not backing out.”

  “Thank God,” he said grimly. He held out his hand and waited until she slid her hand into his.

  The spark that flashed between them was not static electricity and not her imagination. Oh, God. This was going to be absolutely perfect or a total disaster—she wasn’t sure which. They had scarcely reached her room and shut the door when he turned to her. His hands tangled in her hair, wrenching her head up for a bruising, ravaging kiss.

  She melted, or perhaps the connecting wires in her head did. Oh, damn, she managed one last coherent thought before all thought vanished, scorched by the heat of his kiss. His hands tugged her T-shirt off—he broke the kiss just long enough to tug the garment over her head—and unfastened her bra.

  Ariel whimpered with both relief and need when his hands cupped her breasts and flicked against her nipples. She arched toward him.

  “You want this, don’t you?” His voice was roughened by desire. “You came for a fling, a one-night stand. Did you want something wild and crazy? Something dangerous?”

  He unzipped her jeans and tugged it down her legs. She shivered when she felt his fingers at the elastic of her panties. Instead of pulling them off, he caressed her through them, his intimate explorations separated by a thin layer of silk. “You’re so wet,” he murmured. “This turns you on, doesn’t it?” He yanked her panties down.

  Her eyes flared wide. Her lips parted.

  He dropped to his knees in front of her. “Is this what I should have done to you yesterday, outside, by the car?”

  Heat rushed into her cheeks. Oh, God. Did he have any idea how much his words and the images evoked by his words turned her on? Judging from the glaze of desire in his eyes, he did. A strangled cry escaped from her throat as his warm mouth and wicked tongue closed over the heated core of her need. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she writhed against him. She arched into his touch, demanding more, begging for more. A tiny sob whimpered out of her.

  His teeth scrapped gently against her. The sob choked into a gasp as a burst of pleasure pulsed through her. “Jake…please. I need…”

  Her knees wobbled, but he held her up as he unzipped his pants and freed his erection. She stared at his impressive size. Surely he wasn’t planning to take her like this, against the wall—

  Ariel squealed as he lifted her up, an arm cupped under her buttocks and the other across her back, and lowered her slowly onto him. Her eyes closed before they rolled up in her head at the delicious sensation of being filled completely.

  His breathing was harsh, as if he, too, was fighting not to lose control. For several moments, he held her there before he started moving against her. His hands against her back protected her from the discomfort of the wall, and the friction of his clothes against her bare skin teased and tormented her, sending skittering jolts of sensation through her even as the pleasure piled up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, opening herself even further to him. The angle shifted subtly, and his next entry into her punched lights through her brain. She shuddered, her legs tightening around him. Waves of pleasure washed over her as he pounded into her, each one pushing her higher and higher until finally, her mind blanked in a final explosion of ecstasy, tumbling her over the edge.

  Moments later, he stiffened against her, the muscles in his back tightening before slowly relaxing. A sigh whispered out of him. He rested his head against her, their cheeks touching, as he continued to cradle her, their bodies still intimately joined.

  The sense of togetherness was almost better than the sex.

  She released a breathless sigh when he stepped back from the wall and lowered her to the carpet. His lips brushed hers, the gesture tender. “You all right?”

  “Better than all right.” She blushed. “I’m glad we didn’t reach the bed in time.”

  “We can reach the bed now.” He carried her to the king-sized bed. The sheets were cool and smooth beneath her skin, and she watched with bright-eyed anticipation as Jake stripped off the rest of his clothes and reclined beside her.

  She reached for him. His deeply tanned skin was warm, as if it still retained the sun’s caresses, stretched taut over well-defined muscles. She had never had a truly athletic boyfriend and her imagery of how uncomfortable it would be lying on top of, or being squished by those muscles, were dispelled when Jake took her into his arms.

  All she felt was safe. The sense of security sank deep into her, infusing every inch of her. Somehow, she’d always known that Jake would keep her safe. Even when the connection between them sparkled and sizzled like a live wire, she had never felt anything less than safe with him.

  Safe was just what she needed. After her acting dreams crashed and burned, she had never felt strong enough or confident enough to take off again, but with Jake, perhaps she could.

  With Jake?

  No complications. They had both agreed on that.

  What they had was a one-night stand, with perhaps a few more genuine emotions than the usual one-night stand, but he wasn’t looking for a relationship. She might have been, but she needed someone who was going to be with her, not traveling the United States playing beach volleyball and surrounded by bikini-clad beach bunnies.

  No complications.

  Jake lowered his mouth to her breasts. She sucked in her breath at the teasing sensation of his lips and tongue. She laced her fingers through his hair as she guided him where her aching need was greatest. His mouth was obliging, but his fingers, apparently, had a mind and will of their own. They explored on their own, gliding along her body and proving, without doubt, that skin was an erogenous zone. In combination, his hands and his mouth turned her into a writhing wreck as pleasure assaulted her from all sides.

  She hardly heard him when his voice whispered in her ear, “Spread your legs for me.”

  He entered her again, each stroke long and slow, dragging out the pleasure and layerin
g it until she was clawing at his back, her hips pumping up to meet him. The promise of release was there…right there, behind her eyes…

  His lips covered hers; his tongue invaded her mouth. Her mind and will collapsed in surrender. Her orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave that pulled her under and blocked out everything around her except for the ecstasy pulsing through her. She arched up against him, against the man who held her down and gave her everything.

  Her body clenched against his; she gave herself back.

  His breath caught as he found his own release. His powerful shoulders shuddered, and relief washed across his chiseled features.

  “Wow,” she said softly.

  “Yeah, wow.” Jake sounded stunned. He rolled onto his back, taking her with him so that she sprawled across his chest.

  She relaxed against him and was surprised by the tender kiss he planted on top of her head. It was like a gesture of longtime lovers, comfortable in each other’s presence. Jake could apparently do it all—wicked, fast, slow, and tender. He’s wonderful, she thought. What’s the catch?

  “Don’t fall asleep,” he murmured. “I’ll get a bath going for us, and then we should probably go out and grab a bite. I’m starving.”

  “I’ve got a better idea.” She propped her chin between her interlaced fingers and smiled at him. “How about we order room service and have them deliver it after we’re done with our bath?”

  “Even better.”

  She tugged on a robe and ordered champagne and strawberries, to be delivered immediately, and dinner to be delivered in an hour. She carried the drink and fruit into the bathroom where Jake had filled the tub. Ariel dragged her hand through the water. “Perfect.” She kissed him on the lips, thrilling at the tingle that went down her spine, and allowed him to disrobe her.

  He turned her to face the mirror in the bathroom. It was slightly fogged from the steam rising from the tub, but it only added to the surreality of the moment. “Keep your eyes open,” he ordered.

  His hands moved across her body, his dark tan splayed against the paleness of her skin. She could not tear her eyes away even if she had wanted to as his hand cupped her breasts and moved between her legs.

  “Wet again,” he murmured. “Always ready.” His grip on her breast tightened, and his fingers plunged into her. Some part of her mind watched herself writhe, naked and driven into maddening sexual pleasure. Was there anything more erotic than a woman riding the razor-sharp edge of ecstasy?

  “Arms over your head, Ariel, around the back of my neck.”

  She did as she was told and saw herself in the mirror, laid out like a sacrifice—arms raised, legs spread. His hands claimed her, but they also gave her unspeakable pleasure, and when her third orgasm swept over her, she unabashedly gave herself up to it, her body quivering in her lover’s arms.

  She did not fall. She knew Jake would never let her fall.

  The delicate fragrance of a strawberry wafted by her nose. Moments later, the fruit brushed against her lips. Her eyes still closed, Ariel opened her mouth and took a bite of the strawberry dangling over her lips. “Mmmm.” She smiled her thanks and relaxed into the verbena-scented bubbles around her.

  An opened bottle of champagne and two partially filled glasses stood next to the giant whirlpool tub. The lights in the bathroom were dimmed to a romantic glow, and the only sound was the occasional swish of water as she moved. Jake’s chest was a solid wall of muscle behind her. His strong arms surrounded her. His cheek pressed against hers, and their hearts beat in unison.

  She couldn’t recall the last time she had felt more contented. How odd that she would feel so comfortable with a man she had met only a few days earlier. Here, they existed only in the moment. He did not pursue his dreams; she did not mourn hers. It was just the two of them, together.

  Happy. She could almost be happy.

  Jake kissed the top of her head before nuzzling his cheek against her hair. He said nothing, apparently enjoying the quiet intimacy of the moment.

  “You’re not falling asleep, are you?” she asked.

  “No, but it’s hard. It’s comfortable in here.”

  “Will you stay the night?”

  He was silent for a moment. “Yes, if you want me to.”

  “I do, and every day for the rest of my vacation.” She twisted around to smile up at him.

  A slightly ironic smile curved his lips. “Are you enjoying your fling?”

  His words struck a raw chord. “I…” She chose to be defiant instead of vulnerable. “It wouldn’t be much of a fling if I didn’t enjoy it.”

  He glanced away. “I know we said no complications, but I wondered if you’d like to come see my next tournament. It’s in Georgia at the end of next month.”

  “Jake?”

  “I don’t want to lose touch. I’d like to see you again, after Fort Lauderdale, if you’re willing.”

  Willing? Oh, yes. She leaned forward, her answer in the lingering kiss she breathed on his lips.

  A knock on the door shattered the solitude of the moment. She stirred. “Is it eight thirty already?”

  “Was that when you told room service to bring dinner?”

  “Yeah. I’ll get it.” Ariel stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped herself in the bathrobe provided by the hotel. She coiled her wet hair over her hair. Humming to herself, she flung the door open.

  Her jaw dropped. “Colin! What are you doing here?”

  His eyes gleamed as they raked over her. His grin was appreciative. “I came to apologize for last night and to ask if you’d like to go out, for dinner and drinks, perhaps?”

  “This isn’t a good time.”

  His grin turned sheepish. “Hey, look, Ariel. I know I was an asshole last night, but we’re too good together to not have a second chance. What do you say, huh? We could burn up the sheets.” His gaze flicked to something behind her, and suddenly, his expression hardened. He straightened from his slouch against the doorframe. “Jake.”

  “Colin.” Jake wore T-shirt and jeans, but his hair was damp. There would have been no doubt as to where he had been—in her bed and in her bath.

  Colin sneered. “I see you wasted no time in nailing the poor little rich girl.” His gaze flicked to Ariel. “Has he asked you to support his lame ass while he plays volleyball?” He snorted. “Can’t even find a real sponsor. He has to settle for a sugar mama.”

  Jake strode forward. “Colin!”

  Ariel turned on Jake. “You what?”

  “He’s lying—”

  “I’m lying?” Colin looked at Ariel. “After you and I argued at the party yesterday, I told Jake about it. And yeah, we kidded around for a bit—I said you’d be the end to his money problems—but how was I supposed to know he’d nail you?” He glared at Jake and his upper lip curled into a sneer. “So much for being partners and thinking you’d always have my back. I guess the love of money always brings out the worst in people.”

  Ariel slammed the door on Colin. The sharp ache in her chest couldn’t possibly be her heart breaking. She turned to face Jake; her voice trembled. “You seduced me for my money?”

  “No!”

  “You asked me to be at your next tournament.”

  “To see the game. I want to see you.”

  Tears rose to clog her throat, and she had to swipe at her eyes to keep her vision clear.

  “Damn it, Ariel.” He grabbed her upper arms to keep her from turning away. “You know what you do to me. Why would I throw it away—why would I throw away what we could have—just for money?”

  “Because the money would allow you to keep playing beach volleyball. It’d give you a shot at the Olympics. You’d do anything for that opportunity. You said so!”

  “Not anything. I wouldn’t do this.”

  “I don’t know the first thing about you.” She lifted her chin and met his gaze steadily. “I want you to go.”

  “Not until we talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about.�
�� She shook her head. “The joke’s on you. I have no money. This suite, the meals, everything you see that drips wealth, was a gift from my sister-in-law. I have nothing of my own. And my job? I’m a bartender. I’ve been a bartender for seven years. I mix drinks and listen to drunk people spill out their heartaches to me. I smile and flirt with them through their alcoholic haze so that their days don’t end in misery.”

  “Ariel, I—”

  “No, you listen! You’re no better than Leon Kinrath. For years, Leon and I dreamed of making it big in Hollywood. I shared my dreams and my life with him.” Her face twisted with remembered pain. “And then he made it. He was cast in a blockbuster; his career took off. And when his dreams became real, I wasn’t good enough for him. He needed someone by his side to attend parties and opening night events. I couldn’t; I had to work. He needed someone who could keep the spotlight shining on him; I couldn’t. I was nobody. He stopped calling. He didn’t even really say goodbye.”

  “Ariel—”

  “Now that you know I can do nothing for you and your Olympic career, I’ll spare you the trouble of saying goodbye.” She yanked the door open. “Get out.”

  “I want to—”

  Ariel shoved him, not hard, but enough to take him by surprise. He stumbled out, and she slammed the door on him.

  He pounded on the closed door. “Let me in. We have to talk.”

  She grabbed the phone off the bedside table. Her voice trembled when the front desk answered. “Yes, there’s a man outside my door, bothering me and disturbing the other guests. Can you please remove him?”

  “Of course, Miss Falconer. Security is on the way. They’ll be there in a few minutes. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “No, thank you.” She quietly replaced the phone and sat on the bed, her shaking hands locked in fists, until she heard other voices outside the door.

  Jake’s voice raised in protest. Another man’s voice, deeper, said, “The lady wants nothing to do with you. Please leave.”

  Pain knotted in her chest. The sheets still smelled of Jake, of them, of sex. For one day, she had almost believed that what they had was special, but in the end, he was no different from the others, no different from Leon. The men she wanted in her life had left when they realized she could offer them nothing except herself.