The Return (Butler Ranch Book 6)

by Heather Slade

  “I see.”

  “Quinn and Mercer are living there for now, and we hired a nurse.” Kade’s expression changed.

  “What?”

  He shook his head, turned to his side, and put his arm around her waist. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  She’d tell him she’d missed him too, but she wasn’t the one who had essentially gone MIA for the past month.

  “It’s nice of you to let her stay with you.”

  “It just sort of happened. When the doctors said she could go home if we could afford to hire medical help, I just made the decision.”

  His expression changed again.

  “What aren’t you saying?” she asked.

  “I’ll get to that later. First I want to hear about you. How have you been, Fatale?”

  She crossed her arms and leveled her gaze on him. “I’ve been fine, thank you.”

  “Okay…what I was going to say is she’s overly dependent on me. I can see it already.”

  “You’ve spent a great deal of time with her.”

  “You’re right. I have.” He looked into her eyes. “You aren’t saying much.”

  “It isn’t any of my business.”

  “I’d make it my business if you had another man living in your house.”

  Merrigan shrugged. What could she say? He hadn’t consulted her about the accident or anything afterwards; he’d merely given her brief updates. To ask her opinion now, seemed too little too late.

  “Talk to me, Fatale. What are you thinking?”

  “Tell me why she’s really there, Kade.”

  —:—

  Kade stood, looking around the room for any sign of a mini-bar.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” he asked.

  “Soda with lime please,” she answered, pointing to a credenza.

  He opened one of the doors and saw that, along with a wide selection of booze and mixers, there were also fresh limes, lemons, even oranges in the chiller. “Do they restock this every day?”

  She nodded and took the glass he handed to her.

  “No ice. You remembered.”

  He poured himself a Scotch, neat, and sat on the bed with his back to her.

  “Talk to me, Doc,” she said, repeating the words he’d said to her a few minutes prior.

  It took him a long time to figure out where to start. Finally, he just jumped into the middle.

  “There are two sides to what I’m about to tell you. The first is why she’s at Casa Carrizo in the first place, and the second, well, I’ll get to that.”

  “Go on.”

  “I never really loved her, not even…back then,” he said. “At first I thought I did, but once I heard I’d been accepted into the NCS, I was more than ready to leave everything behind, including Lena.”

  “You married her.”

  “Because of Quinn.” He thought for a minute. “That isn’t true. I stayed with her as long as I did because of our daughter. Initially, I married her out of guilt.”

  “Kade,” she sighed.

  He loved the way she said his name, with her Scottish brogue that reminded him of his mother sometimes, but at other times, sounded nothing like Sorcha Butler and everything like the angel he’d first believed her to be.

  “It was my fault Calder raped her.”

  “It wasn’t, and you know it. Calder was a greedy, narcissistic sociopath.”

  “Leech told us to go out that night. He thought it would be better if we weren’t there when he told Calder he wasn’t being recommended to move on. She felt sorry for him. It was that simple. So she went to talk to him, and no one was there to defend her.”

  He told her that being around Quinn so much the last three weeks had brought back memories of what her mother was like before the rape. The idea of her suffering at the hands of a monster like Calder made Kade want to kill the man all over again. He couldn’t imagine the level of guilt her father must have felt then, and even to this day.

  “Leech has been pushing so hard for Lena and me to get back together. I’m sure it’s because of his own regret.”

  He probably looked at Kade in the same way Kade looked at Mercer. He thanked God every day that he’d protected Quinn, but knowing he loved her, and would for the rest of his life, filled him with a sense of peace.

  “I think that’s why Elisabetta left me half of the estate. It’s the only logical explanation.”

  “Because she hoped you and Lena would be together again?”

  Kade nodded. “I tell myself I tried to make the marriage work, but I didn’t. I hid behind the work I did.”

  He told her about the day he realized they had to divorce. “I was kept in a cage as part of a training exercise. I had to stay in there for twenty-four hours with no food and very little hydration.” Not all of the trainees made it the entire time, but Kade hadn’t had any trouble at all. “Every time I thought I couldn’t stand another minute, I thought about Lena and how I’d rather be kept in the cage a month rather than spend the same amount of time with her.”

  Merrigan gasped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. Please, go on.”

  “It makes me the biggest asshole you’ve ever known, doesn’t it?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t pretend that I know how you felt at the time.”

  “Quinn had just turned five when that happened. It took me another two years to finally go through with it.”

  “When she went to boarding school.”

  Kade nodded. He’d talked to Merrigan about Quinn’s education before, and she’d told him that boarding school was more common and far better perceived in the UK.

  “I feel like I’m rambling.”

  “Go back to my original question. Why is Lena there?”

  Kade sat down on the bed, but he couldn’t look at her. Not yet. Not until he answered her question honestly.

  “When I walked into the hospital, that night a few weeks ago, after the accident…” His voice caught, and he took several deep breaths before trying to continue. “She looked so much like she had after Calder…”

  Kade felt Merrigan’s movement on the bed, and then her arm wrap around his waist. She leaned into him so her body was pressed against his back.

  “Keep talking,” she whispered.

  “He’d beaten her so badly that she looked like she’d been in a car accident.”

  He rested his hand on hers, so thankful for her touch.

  “We were engaged to be married, and instead of staying with her to help her get over what Calder had done, I accepted my orders and shipped out.

  “When I came back a few weeks later for Christmas, it was like she was a different person. She was afraid of everything, including me. She’d startle when I’d walk into the room, and if I tried to talk to her, she’d cower. She was so broken, and on top of everything else, she was pregnant.”

  “With whose child?”

  Kade didn’t respond directly to the question. Before he got into whether or not he was Quinn’s father, he wanted to finish telling her about Lena.

  “I was relentless about being with her. I decided that if I was, eventually, she’d go back to being the way she’d been before the rape. I know now how naive that was. Anyway, it wasn’t long before the scales tipped the other way. She started depending on me for everything, particularly after we got married. She didn’t make a decision about even the smallest things without consulting me.” The same way Quinn was with Mercer, he thought to himself.

  “Because of the rape and the pregnancy, plus me working for the NCS, we kept the marriage a secret from everyone but our parents, Paps, and Razor.”

  “So now, you’re caring for her in the same way you think you should’ve then?”

  “Yes,” he said, hanging his head.

  —:—

  “What happened to Calder after the rape?” she asked.

  “He was arrested, but made bail almost immediately. That he couldn’t leave the county while awaiting trial, worked to the
Russians’ advantage.”

  In hindsight, it was obvious to Merrigan that Calder had been a prime recruit target for the Maskhadovs. He spoke the language almost fluently, along with others, his volatile temperament had been well-documented, and clearly, the Russians knew he was being released from training, and struck at the perfect time.

  She knew Kade’s father was the one who’d discovered that someone had been hacking into Leech’s system, decoding thousands of classified documents, and handing them off to the Maskhadov organization. Consequently, many US agents had been systematically assassinated when their covers were blown.

  “How long had your father been retired when all this happened?”

  “Officially?”

  Merrigan nodded and smiled.

  “Let’s see. Naughton was thirteen, so a little over ten years.”

  “Do any of your siblings know how your parents met?”

  Kade shook his head. “When I was seven or eight, I started asking questions about what Da did. He sat me down and explained why it was important that I not only stop asking questions, but also promise never to talk about it again. It wasn’t until I told him I wanted to join the Marines that he told me more about his life and career.”

  “You’ve carried the burden of secrecy since you were quite young. No wonder you’re so good at it.”

  “I’m not sure that’s something I can be proud of.”

  “It’s a trait necessary to what we do,” she murmured. “Tell me how you caught Calder.”

  “We almost didn’t,” said Kade. “Razor alerted Leech that he believed someone had been in the wine caves. The vineyard and winery weren’t operational at the time, so there would be no reason for anyone to be in there.”

  Kade stood. “Can I get you anything else?”

  She held up her still half-full glass. “I’m good.”

  He poured himself another drink.

  “I was on stakeout three nights in a row. The first two nights, I didn’t see a living soul except for a couple of coyotes. The third night, though, was when it all went down.”

  Kade told her that he saw Calder entering the caves with another person. He called Leech, and then went in after him, as backup.

  “It was obvious that they’d been alerted he was on his way in,” he said. “He’d barely gotten inside when I followed and saw them. They both had guns leveled straight at him.”

  “You killed Nitko that night.”

  While few knew the details, the fact that a brand new NCS agent had taken down one of Russia’s most lethal assassins became legendary. With a single shot, Kade had ended Aliya “Nitko” Pavlichenko’s unbroken kill record. It was the first time she’d missed, and the last time she took a breath.

  “I was a split second away from ending Calder when Leech stopped me.”

  “And he escaped.”

  Kade nodded and gripped the back of his neck. “There’s something else I need to tell you, and I’ve put it off long enough.” He handed her what was left of his Scotch. “You’re gonna need this.”

  “Tell me why, Kade.”

  “Because Lena will probably be staying at the house indefinitely.”

  “For what reason?”

  “Because she wasn’t in an accident. She was run off the road intentionally.”

  14

  “Why her?” Merrigan asked after Kade briefed her on what Paps had told him.

  “I have no idea. Every theory I’ve come up with doesn’t lead anywhere.”

  “It doesn’t make sense,” she murmured.

  Kade nodded.

  “It must be somehow tied to Animus.”

  “I agree,” he said.

  “Which reminds me, you told me you thought you knew who Animus was.”

  “I told you I might have an idea.”

  “And?”

  “The more I thought about it, the more far-fetched it seemed. Besides, it couldn’t be. The person I suspected is dead.”

  “Have you asked yourself whom the intel on Animus came from? I haven’t been able to get a read on it from either Striker or Rivet. It’s like it just appeared.”

  “That bothers me as well. If it hadn’t come through my father, I’d say it was amateurish.”

  She walked over to the desk and powered up her laptop.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Making arrangements to leave the States.”

  He knew she had to. He couldn’t very well ask her to stay with him in what was quickly becoming a security compound. The thought of her leaving devastated him, though. He walked over and closed her computer.

  “Fatale…” he murmured, drawing her body closer to his. He bent down to kiss her, and when she kissed him back, he picked her up and carried her to the bed.

  He kissed down the side of her neck. “I can’t stand the idea of being away from you again.”

  “Kade…”

  “I want you, Merrigan. More than that, I need you.”

  —:—

  She wanted him too, but was this a good idea? Even if it wasn’t, could she resist him?

  She looked him in the eyes, slowly unbuttoned her blouse, and shimmied out of it. Before she could unfasten her bra, he was on her.

  “Too slow,” he muttered, finishing what she’d started, until she stood before him naked. “On the bed,” he demanded.

  She sat on the edge, and he pushed her back, covering her breasts with his hands and her body with his. When he teased her nipples with his fingers and his mouth, Merrigan writhed beneath him.

  Kade moved away from her, stood, and pulled his shirt over his head with one hand, while he unfastened his belt with the other. She watched as he slid his jeans off his hips, leaving nothing but his nakedness for her to feast her eyes on.

  She looked him up and down, noticing that he looked healthier than the last time they were together. Even though his body still showed the scars of not only what the Russians had done to him, but other battle wounds from his years in Special Forces, it was still beautiful to her.

  “Like what you see?” he asked.

  “Very much,” she answered.

  “Me too.”

  He was on her again then, opening her thighs with his knee. He positioned himself near her sex, but stopped and looked into her eyes. “Merrigan, I…”

  Whatever he wanted to say, she knew instinctively she wasn’t ready to hear. “Don’t talk. Just make love to me.”

  He did as she asked with a groan that matched her own.

  No other man filled her the way Kade did. It was as though he was made to reach every pleasure zone her body possessed.

  Her lips parted the moment his tongue touched them, and he swooped in. Her body spasmed and clenched around him as the first orgasm consumed her.

  He slowed while she drifted back to earth, but as soon as she had, he thrust into her again, his hands digging into her hips. He stopped then, but only long enough to flip her over before he resumed pounding her from behind with a renewed frenzy.

  “Give me another one, Fatale. One more,” he urged.

  A few more thrusts coupled with attention from his skilled hands, and another orgasm sent her soaring. This time he joined her, growling out his release.

  “That’s more like it,” he moaned, pulling her with him as he sank into the bed. When she tried to squirm away, he held her close. “Stay still, Fatale. We aren’t anywhere near finished yet.”

  “I don’t think I can…”

  “But you will,” he murmured, his voice soft as though he was about to fall asleep. Instead, his hands moved over the front of her body—one on her breast, the other between her legs as he brought her spent body back to life. He snuggled into her and nibbled her shoulder as his fingers toyed with her sex. She gasped and clung to him as a third powerful orgasm caught her off guard.

  She tried again to wriggle away from him, but he wouldn’t give her reprieve. He pushed her back on the bed and covered her with his body. She could feel his hardness restin
g against her.

  “You’ll break me,” she moaned.

  “Don’t you worry, Fatale,” he said, thrusting into her yet again. “I’ll put you back together.”

  She lost track of how many times he wrung pleasure from her body before he finally moved away from her. She let her eyes drift closed, and slept, only to be swept up in his arms and carried into the luxurious bathroom where he gently set her into the warm water of the jacuzzi tub. Once he was seated behind her, he turned on the jets, and she moaned.

  The powerful swirling water worked over the outside of her body the same way Kade had worked over the inside. She hoped he had the strength to carry her back to the bed because she knew she didn’t have the energy to walk.

  He ran his hands up and down her arms while his lips made their way across her back and up the side of her neck. “From the very first time I heard your voice, I was sure you were an angel. You have to be. No mere human can be as perfect as you,” he murmured.

  With one hand he swept her hair away, running his tongue from her neck back down to her shoulder. She shuddered when he nipped at her sensitive skin.

  —:—

  There were so many things Kade wanted to say if she’d only let him. He wanted to tell her that he hadn’t known what true love felt like until he met her. He wanted her to know that he intended to spend the rest of his life worshiping her body with his, like he just had. If she’d let him, he’d promise to never let a day go by without bringing her the pleasure he knew that only he could wring from her.

  And there was so much more—he wanted to spend hours talking to her, like the moments they’d stolen when he was being held prisoner. She didn’t just listen to him, she told him her life’s stories too.

  He’d tell her that he longed to be by her side as she showed him the places he’d only been able to picture in his imagination. And that her descriptions of the Scottish moors had been so vivid, he could almost feel the chill of the moist air.

  He’d tell her that he wanted to travel again to all the places he’d only seen garbed in tactical gear, gun in hand. And that they could eat, drink and make love their way around the globe, knowing they’d left the danger of their previous lives behind, and were free to love each other without fear of the future.