Tyler didn’t like how that sounded. Have it made? It sounded as if all he needed was a baby machine. No, he wanted a relationship. A real one. He wanted love.
But maybe that wasn’t everything.
“Come on, Ty. Make a girl happy.”
“We’ll see if she’s all that excited to hear from me.”
“I’m not talking about Kaitlyn—I’m talking about Cindy! If you ask Kaitlyn out, I’m going to be a hero. And I could use a little hero worship around the house. All I seem to do is change diapers and take out the laundry.”
“Far be it from me to condemn you to a lifetime of that.” Standing, Tyler stretched. “I will call Kaitlyn. It wouldn’t hurt to go out with her, I guess. But tomorrow. Things are a little fuzzy right now.”
Keith stood up too, a little unsteady on his feet. “I’m feeling fuzzy, too. Maybe you should spend the night here?”
Since it wouldn’t do to drive, Ty readily agreed. “I will. But no more discussion about my love life. I can’t take any more.”
Keith slapped him on the back. “We just want you to be happy.”
“I’m happy,” Tyler proclaimed as he picked up the metal bucket, gathered the empties and started up the long walk toward the house.
Keith grunted, but Tyler didn’t mind, since they both knew he was lying.
TWO DAYS LATER he picked up the phone and called Kaitlyn’s cell.
“Tyler Mann,” she said as soon as he introduced himself. “Now, this is a real surprise. How are you?”
“I’m fine. And you?”
“I’m good. Did you find another job?”
“More or less. I’m doing some work on my own. Are you still at Carnegie?”
She sighed audibly. “Of course. Where else would I be? It’s my lot in life to be so good at something so bor-or-ing.”
Tyler tried not to notice that she pulled her last word out to three syllables. “Listen, I called to see if you were free for dinner on Friday night.”
“For, like, a date?”
“Yeah. If you aren’t busy, that is.”
She made him wait a good long minute. “Actually, I happen to have plans on Friday night.”
“Oh. I see.” Surely that wasn’t relief he was feeling?
“But I’m free on Saturday night,” she added in a rush. “That is, if you are.”
Though he was tempted to say he was busy, his promise to Cindy and Keith was fresh in his mind. “Saturday night is good. How about I pick you up at seven?”
“Seven is great.” After giving him her address, she said, “I’m really glad you called, Tyler.”
She sounded sweetly sincere. Eager. “I’m glad, too,” he finished before hanging up.
He just hoped he sounded as sincere as she did.
“CINDY, DO YOU AND KEITH want to meet me for drinks again?
“On your date with Kaitlyn?”
“None other.”
Instead of jumping at the opportunity, she wrinkled her nose. “How many times have you gone out?”
“This will be our first date.”
She chuckled. “Thanks for the offer, but I think we’ll skip this one. Kaitlyn probably won’t appreciate your sister joining y’all right off the bat.”
Tyler imagined she wouldn’t, but at the moment he didn’t really care. He was not looking forward to the evening at all. In fact, he’d been kind of hoping they’d be around so he could be sure conversation wouldn’t stall. “I don’t know what I’m going to talk to her about.”
“You? My Texas Casanova? Talk to her about whatever you usually talk to your women about.”
He couldn’t remember any women before Remy.
But since he was truly attempting to move forward, he murmured, “Thanks a lot for the advice.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” Her eyes softened as she patted his arm. “It will be fun. Call me tomorrow and give me all the gory details. Better yet, come over around two. Keith’s out of town, and I was going to spend an hour or so at the baby pool.”
“See you then.”
THE DATE HAD GONE WELL. Kaitlyn had looked stunning in a white halter-top jersey knit dress and strappy yellow sandals. She hadn’t talked about diets at the casual beach restaurant he’d taken her to. Instead, she’d seemed to enjoy every bite of her tacos, chips and salsa.
Later, when the air had turned cooler and he’d draped his sport coat over her shoulders, she’d kept him amused while they sipped cocktails, sharing stories about different roommates she’d had.
She’d been the one who’d suggested they go for a walk on the beach. And as he’d held her hand and the gentle surf lapped the sand to their left, she’d looked perfect.
He learned there were a lot of good things to like about Kaitlyn. She did, indeed, love her mother. She babysat her brother’s kids once a month so he and his wife could go to the movies.
In addition, she loved to travel, just as he did. Currently she was planning a trip to the Cayman Islands to snorkel and scuba dive—she’d just gotten certified.
And in her future, of course she wanted children—she wanted a whole houseful of them! Eyes shining, she relayed how her sisters had teased her, saying she was probably going to get as big as a house when she was pregnant, since all she’d ever talked about was enjoying every week of her pregnancies.
Later, when he’d walked her to her front door, she’d kissed him sweetly, but hadn’t invited him in. And when he said he’d call her soon, she hadn’t even attempted to play hard to get. Instead she’d given him a look filled with promise and said she’d look forward to it.
In short, Kaitlyn was pretty damn near perfect.
So why didn’t he care?
Why wasn’t he falling hard?
Chapter Twenty-Three
Almost reluctantly Remy slowly sat down in the wooden chair next to Mark’s bed. It was 3:00 a.m. After attempting to read for a good thirty minutes, she’d gotten up, slipped on her favorite comfy robe and entered the guest bedroom.
“Mark, I think we’ve got to stop meeting like this,” she said as she pressed the button to open the drapes. As her joke crashed and burned in the empty room, she leaned her head back and sighed. “Yeah, I know. I never was the life of the party, was I?”
Tonight, instead of the usual myriad twinkling stars and lights sparkling on the horizon, only a thick shroud of darkness greeted her. The lack of light suited her mood. Lately nothing had seemed positive or right, her mood had been so black.
Remy, why are you in here?
“I don’t know,” she answered. “And that’s part of the problem. I don’t know why I’m in here. It makes me sad, Mark. I used to have to struggle not to sit in here with you for hours.”
That was never a good thing. You were supposed to have moved on. Remember?
“Lately I’ve been finding out that moving on is even harder than I’d imagined. You know that guy I told you about? The pup? Well, he turned out to be a jerk.”
They can’t all be like me, Rem.
“Only you could joke about dating, Mark. The truth is, I’ve been in a pretty blue mood. Almost as bad as when you passed away. I don’t know what to do.”
Looking out the window again, she listened for his words of advice. But now none came. It felt as if he’d left the room. For the first time, she didn’t feel his presence the way she usually did.
Actually, she felt nothing. It felt as if she was sitting in an empty guest bedroom.
“Mark?” She tried again, though whether she was hoping to hear from him, or for herself to feel the connection to him, she didn’t know. Feeling discouraged, she slumped back against the chair with a sigh. Great. Now she didn’t even have Mark’s spirit to chat with.
Of course, perhaps it was because lately, she hadn’t been thinking about Mark—she’d been thinking about Tyler. The guy who was still very much alive, and doing great, if the office gossip was to be trusted.
It seemed Kaitlyn had had a very nice evening with Tyler Mann. They’d
gotten along so well, they’d even talked about babies and families.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she mused aloud. Then, with some shock, she heard her own conscience speak for her. Go try again. Go out and live. Do something for yourself. It’s time. It felt so much like a command, she did just that. She got up and left the room. It was time to take risks again. Even if she got hurt.
“MEGAN, YOU’RE WEARING me out,” Tyler said as he held on to the girl with one hand and her fresh ice cream with the other. In front of their feet lay the remnants of her first cone…a casualty of Megan trying to skip and eat at the same time. “Try and hold on to the ice cream this time, ’kay?”
Blue eyes shining full of trust, Megan nodded. “Okay, Uncle Tyler.”
Just as it always did, his heart filled with love for her. “I’d kiss your cheek, but you’re a mess.”
Megan giggled as Cindy trotted back with a handful of wet paper towels, April riding in the jogging stroller in front of her.
Thrusting a handful his way, she groaned. “Oh, Tyler. Your shorts look like Megan smeared a whole gallon of ice cream on them.”
“It’s no big deal, Cindy.” Stepping backward, he plopped the towels on his thigh and started pressing. Looking around, he frowned. He supposed he looked like an idiot, covered in ice cream, wiping himself with towels, tripping over a little yappy dog.…
“Sorry, ma’am,” he said when somehow the leash looped around an ankle. “I wasn’t looking and I…” His voice drifted off as he saw who was at the other end of that line. “Remy.”
She looked more embarrassed than he felt. “Hi. I’m sorry for the mix-up. I just got her, and I’m afraid she’s not used to a leash yet.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not used to a leash yet.”
Bending, he petted the tiny Scottish terrier. The puppy’s curly black fur felt silky under his fingers and the pink tongue made him smile. “You got a puppy?”
“I did.” When Megan hurried over, then hesitantly stared at Remy before reaching down to the pet, Remy crouched down and smiled at the girl. “It’s okay, Megan. She doesn’t bite.”
Her eyes widened. “You know me?”
“No, we don’t know each other, but I’ve heard a lot about you. I…I was friends with your uncle.”
Tyler smiled at Megan as she cooed over the pup and experimentally patted its head, then rubbed the soft curly fur on its backside.
“Eat your ice cream, Megan. It’s about to drip all over the dog,” Cindy admonished, then smiled hesitantly toward Remy. “Hi there, Remy. It’s nice to see you again.”
Remy stood up. “Yes. You, too.” Her eyes darted to Tyler’s. In that gaze he saw a wealth of hurt and wariness.
His gut constricted. He’d put that wariness there. He’d put it there because he’d been so certain that his plan was the right one. His goals needed to be accomplished or he would be a failure. Why? Why had he been so certain he was right?
All at the expense of Remy—whom he’d claimed to love? If he’d been alone, he would have hung his head in shame. His parents would be so disappointed.
Another moment passed. Finally Remy cleared her throat. Backing up, she murmured, “Well, I was just taking Samantha for a walk. It’s nice.” She swallowed, looked flustered. “I mean, it’s nice to see you, Tyler. All of you.”
Cindy stepped forward. “You, too. Your puppy is adorable. Thanks for letting us see her.”
Cindy nudged him just as Remy turned away. “Wait a moment, Remy. You named the dog Samantha?”
“Yes. It’s after that show Bewitched. That was my favorite show when I was a little girl. My dad was allergic to dogs, so we could never get one, but I always promised myself I’d name my dog Samantha.”
“I didn’t know you wanted a puppy.” Ouch. As soon as he said the words, he wished he could take them back.
She shrugged, looking somewhat confused herself. “I’m sorry you thought that. I guess there’s lots we never knew about each other.”
“I mean, I never heard you mention wanting a dog.”
“I kind of figured it wouldn’t be fair to own a pet, since I work so much, but then I realized it was really quiet in the house. And I started thinking that maybe I didn’t need to work as much as I did.” Smiling at Megan, who’d crept up and was petting the puppy again, Remy said, “Yesterday, when I was driving home from work, I passed the pet store and saw the for-sale sign. Next thing I knew, I was turning the car around.”
“And saw her?” Megan asked.
“Well, it was kind of like that,” Remy said. “Actually, the sign was advertising their rescue dogs. I thought a grown dog would be good. I’d give him a home and he’d give me some company. But then I saw Sam.” She shook her head. “She was in this litter of six puppies, all squirmy and cute. I couldn’t resist. When the volunteer plopped her in my lap, she nipped at my finger and gave this adorable little bark. It was just about the cutest thing I ever saw. After that, it was just a matter of filling out paperwork.”
Watching little Samantha bark and yip and plop down on the grass, Remy looked at her fondly. “She’s really cute, but a real mess.”
“She’s going to ruin that white carpet,” Tyler pointed out.
Remy shrugged. “Oh, well. I never was too into all that white, anyway. I was getting tired of taking off my shoes all the time, if you want to know the truth.”
Looking one more time at Megan and Cindy and April, she smiled a bit longingly, then put on a much more reserved smile for him. “Well, I guess I’ll be on my way. Bye.”
Not waiting for a reply, she turned and walked away, though it was slow going, since Samantha seemed determined to explore everything in their path.
As Tyler watched her walk away, he felt his lungs tighten. He was about to lose her.
He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let Remy go. Not again. Not ever. Turning to Cindy quickly, he whispered, “I’ve got to go to her.”
“I know.”
“You understand?”
“She’s who you love, Tyler. It’s written all over your face.” Staring at Remy’s retreating form, she added, “And if I’m not mistaken, I think she just might be in love, too. Go.”
“You think?” He was afraid to hope. Afraid to think everything between them hadn’t been thrown away.
“I know…if you get a move on.” She waved her hands in the air, shooing him away. “Go on now, Ty. I’ll take the girls home and talk to you later. You get a ride with Remy. Or…call if things don’t work out.”
He hoped he wouldn’t be calling his sister for a while. “Bye, girls,” he said before turning and trotting after Remy.
Behind him, he heard Cindy laugh and Megan ask where Uncle Tyler was going.
For a moment he thought he’d lost Remy, but then he saw that she had turned a corner and was letting Samantha inspect a light post. “Rem, wait up.”
She turned to him in surprise. “Tyler? What’s wrong?”
“Not a thing.” Now that he was standing in front of her, all the words jumbled in his head once again. “I was just wondering, could I walk with you?”
But instead of smiling gently, she remained guarded. “Actually…I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I think it might be. Please, Rem? Can we walk together, just for a little while? I’d like to speak with you.”
“What about Cindy and the girls?”
“They’re going to go on. Besides, Cindy knows how important this is to me.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“If you let me walk with you for a while, you will. Please? I think there’re things we need to talk about. After, if you don’t want to see me again, I won’t bother you anymore.”
“Well, all right.” Little Samantha plopped onto the ground, obviously exhausted. The sweetest expression came over Remy’s face as she scooped up the little pup and cradled it in her arms. That look, that moment of tenderness wasn’t something that could be faked.
With a sudden burst of clarity Tyler realized that had been the same look she’d given April when they’d run into each other buying movies. It wasn’t that Remy didn’t want children, or was afraid of children…it was that she wanted them so much and she was afraid of her longing.
That he could understand. He’d felt that way when his parents had died. He’d wanted a family so much but was so afraid it would never happen that he’d focused on work.
With the puppy securely in her arms, they started strolling down the beautiful walkways of the park. Around them, other couples walked, too. Every so often a jogger would zip by. But mostly it was couples of men and women, older ladies admiring the gardens, moms and their babies out for a stroll before nap time. And them.
He glanced her way, but she said nothing, merely looked straight ahead. Obviously waiting on him.
Tyler turned over and over in his mind everything he’d thought he’d known about her. Finally, as they passed a lemonade stand and walked to a grove of orange trees, he said, “Look. I could tell you a thousand things, but at the heart of it all, at the core of everything, it all comes down to one thing. I’ve missed you.”
To his shame, she visibly winced.
His heart sank. Well, it was no better than he deserved, Tyler supposed. Once again he was telling her his feelings and needs instead of focusing on her. “Let me try this again.…”
“There’s no need,” she said sharply. “Things haven’t changed, Ty. I still can’t have children.”
“That’s okay.”
“I don’t think so. It was a pretty big deal a few weeks ago.” Her voice was almost cool. Tyler realized she was trying her best to keep her emotions in check.
Not because she didn’t feel anything. But because she felt too much.
How could he never have seen that? “I’ve been a fool, Remy. I thought things…I didn’t give you enough credit or time.…” Fumbling again, he said, “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
“Maybe one day I will.”
But not now. Slowly, carefully, afraid to find his way, he tried to explain himself. “When my parents died, I missed so many things. Things that I thought would never be obtainable. Because the thought of never having what my mom and dad had was so hard, I pushed it all to one side and concentrated on work. But work was a pretty poor replacement for love.”
Second Chance Hero Page 16
