Santori Reborn (The Santori Trilogy Book 2)

by Maris Black

  But Jamie…

  He had shown a level of compassion for me over the past days that bordered on insanity. If my fractured memories of the ill-fated party I’d hosted on Saturday night were anything close to the reality of what happened, he should have left me that night. Should have turned around in the doorway and never come back. But he didn’t. He stuck around and nursed me through my debilitating hangover and the depression that accompanied it. If that wasn’t unconditional love, then I couldn’t imagine what was.

  I didn’t deserve love like that. I knew it all the way down to the darkest corners of my soul. And yet what happened next still knocked the wind out of me.

  Jamie ran a lazy circle over my chest and sighed. “Are you good now?”

  “Huh?” I asked, still dazed and running on about a quarter of my brain cells.

  “You’ve been pretty wrecked since Saturday night. Are you feeling better?”

  “Hell, yeah.” I wrapped my arms around his trim body and squeezed, marveling for the millionth time at how perfectly we fit together.

  “Thank God.” He squirmed out of my grip and rolled to his side of the bed, then sat up on the edge and went completely still. “You know, I was really worried about you. I thought you would never snap out of that funk you were in. When you didn’t move or react for so long, all I could think of was that time you went catatonic, and Dr. Tanner had to shoot you full of drugs to try to bring you back. And then the hypnosis…” He shuddered. “That was so fucking awful.”

  “Good thing I had you there to take care of me.” I stretched my arm out and ran my index finger down his spine, loving the little shiver my touch drew out of him.

  “Yeah, it was,” he said. “And this time… If I hadn’t shown up, that crazy bastard Theo might have pumped enough drugs in you to put you in the hospital.” He paused. “No, I’m sorry. He would have killed you, judging from the fact that he advised me not to take you to a hospital.”

  “I was okay,” I said, more from embarrassment than anything else. I hated Jamie thinking I was weak.

  Jamie choked out a laugh. “You were crawling around on the carpet trying to snort up spilled coke. You had your fucking pants around your ankles and some bubbleheaded twink on his knees—” The last word wavered and got hung in his throat. “You were not okay. You’re not okay.”

  “I won’t ever do that again,” I said, a distinct note of pleading in my voice. I rolled onto my side and massaged one of the adorable dimples above his ass with my thumb, trying to reassure him with a touch. It was all I had to work with. “I swear, Jamie. I won’t do any more drugs. I was just trying to get him to trust me.”

  “Yeah? And what’s next on your list of trust exercises? Letting him fuck you? Because I assure you he would jump at the chance. The way he was looking at you gave me chills, Kage. And not in a normal way. I don’t know how to describe it, but the name Hannibal Lecter comes to mind. Are you going to keep trying to get him to trust you until he invites to over for dinner?”

  I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me with his back turned. “As long as he doesn’t serve fava beans and Chianti I should be safe.”

  “That’s not funny,” he spat, standing up and whirling around to face me. “I can’t believe you’re making jokes.”

  I let out a nervous laugh. “You started it. Calm down.”

  “No, I will not calm down.” But he did calm down. He took a few deep breaths, and when he spoke again, his voice was even. “The fact is you are putting yourself in danger by continuing to try to get in that monster’s good graces, and I can’t stand by and watch it happen.”

  I swallowed and stared blankly at him. “What are you saying?”

  He paced to the door and back again, then crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve made plans to stay with Steve for a while. He’s got an extra bedroom, and he won’t charge me rent until I get some more revenue coming in from the blog and my YouTube channel. But I’m going to need to borrow a little more money from you to get some video equipment. I’ll eventually need an assistant, but I can start out small.”

  I continued to stare blankly, my mouth hanging ajar. I tried to say something logical, to present an argument that would allay his fears, but all that came out was, “Please don’t go.”

  He glared at me. “A few days ago, you couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”

  “I was trying to keep you out of all of this. To protect you.”

  “And suddenly I don’t need protection any more?”

  “No, you do, but—” I searched for words in my addled brain. Anything that would make a fucking lick of sense. “I don’t know how I can do this without you. And you said you didn’t want to go.”

  He dropped his head and stared at the floor as if he couldn’t look at me when he said the next words. “I changed my mind. I can’t walk in on another scene like the one I came home to Saturday night. I’m not strong enough to stand by and watch you kill yourself. If being partners with that monster is something you feel you have to do, and apparently it is, then go ahead and do it. But I’m not going to be around to see it.”

  “Please, Jamie. You can’t just leave me like this. My plan was to try to see each other on the sly. I was even considering giving you a suite in the hotel and just keeping our relationship under the radar.”

  “Jesus, Kage.” His lip quivered, eyes glistening with the sheen of tears. “Don’t you think I’m worth more than that?”

  God, I was losing my mind. Anger sizzled up from my gut until my limbs trembled with the need to lay waste to something. But the thing that needed wasting was the fucking situation, and that wasn’t something physical I could beat into submission. If I could tell Jamie about my deal with Aaron, he would understand that I had no choice. The truth rose to my lips, but I couldn’t let it out. Aaron had been very specific about keeping the mission from Jamie, and I couldn’t ignore his implied threats. Even now he could be listening. Of all of the things that would put Jamie in danger, that one was the worst.

  Jamie huffed and threw his hands up in exasperation. “Do you think I’m stupid, Kage? You’re hiding something from me. I can see it written all over your face. Why won’t you be honest with me? Ever since I moved in with you, we’ve steadily grown farther apart. You’ve driven a wedge between us, and I don’t even know why. And do you know why I don’t know why? Because you won’t fucking tell me.”

  I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. “I can’t.” I didn’t know what else to say. There was nothing else to say. Jamie was asking for the one thing I couldn’t give him, and it was tearing me up to deny him, especially when the price was him walking away.

  Jamie nodded. “Okay, Kage. You can’t be honest with me? Fine. I get it. But I can’t be in a relationship based on lies and half-truths.”

  “Please,” I whispered. “Just give me a little more time. Move into one of the suites for now. We’ll work it out.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice choked with emotion. “I love you more than life itself, but what you’re offering isn’t acceptable to me. I just— I can’t live like that.”

  “Well, can we at least make a pact to wait for each other? To not be with anyone else?”

  Jamie laughed. “The pact you already broke? Yeah, that’s really fair to me, isn’t it?”

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  “It doesn’t matter. The choices you made put you in that position.” He bit his lip and looked at the floor, watching his feet as they shifted with nervous energy. “If I thought—no, if I could believe—that was an isolated incident that would never be repeated again, I would forgive you in a heartbeat. Hell, I’ve already forgiven you for that. I know you wouldn’t have cheated on me if you’d been in your right mind, just like I know you wouldn’t have been rooting around in the carpet for drugs like some coked-out pig. But I can’t trust that it or something similar won’t happen in the future. Not when you insist on continuing to fuck around with this Theo piece of shit.”

/>   He went into the closet, dressed in clean clothes, and came out with his suitcases. Already packed. Apparently, he’d been busy while I was wallowing in bed like an ignorant asshole. Fuck.

  “So this is it?” I asked, my voice wrecked and trembling.

  Jamie nodded resolutely, but I could see that the resolution was forced. He was doing what he thought was right, but deep down it wasn’t what he wanted.

  “And you won’t wait for me?”

  His eyes darted away as if he was second-guessing himself, but they ended up right back on me. He was showing a level of strength I’d only seen glimpses of before, and it made my heart throb in my chest. How fucked up was it that him breaking up with me was making me respect him even more? At that moment, my desire for him was so strong it was like another being in the room with us.

  “I love you, Kage. Today I love the person you are and have been since the day we met, and I hope you will remember that in the days to come. But who knows what twisted shell of a man you’ll be when this is over? If it’s ever over. I can’t wait for someone I may not even recognize anymore. I’m sorry.”

  And with that, he wheeled his suitcases out of the room. I jumped up from the bed and hurried after him, naked and not giving a damn. I grabbed one of his suitcases and wheeled it to the door. “Give me a minute to get dressed, and I’ll help you takes these down.”

  “Thanks, but I can handle it on my own.” He opened the door, handed me his apartment key card, and kissed me on the cheek. “Watch yourself.”

  He was quoting the mystery note, and hearing those words come out of his mouth made me absolutely certain the note had been a friendly warning. Someone had believed I was headed for rough times, and unfortunately, they had been correct.

  As I watched Jamie get on the elevator and descend out of my life, I resisted the urge to run after him. Because he was absolutely right. When I finally woke from the nightmare that was my life, would there be anything left of the man he had fallen in love with? Or would I, like my uncle, allow circumstances to shred my humanity until there was nothing left?

  PART II

  CHAPTER 14

  PETER

  The night of Gio’s boxing party came too soon. I was living with him now, sleeping in his bed, and letting him fuck me night after night. He had claimed me body and soul, and I was terrified that everyone would be able to sense it. Already it was getting difficult to remember how we were before.

  “You look nervous,” Gio said, coming up behind me as I finger-combed my wet hair in front of the bathroom mirror.

  I glanced at his reflection, my stomach flip-flopping at the sight of his muscles filling out the sleeves of his black Polo. He pressed his chest against my back and rested his hands on my shoulders, massaging as he bent to place a soft kiss on the side of my neck. My dick stirred at his proximity, clearly visible beneath the towel tucked around my waist.

  “A little. I’m just—”

  Gio’s eyes grazed along my body, and his gaze got hung up on the bulge beneath the towel. His fingertips squeezed hard where they had been massaging, and I flinched.

  “Sorry.” His lips tipped into an apologetic smile, and he gentled his touch. “You were saying?”

  “I’m just worried that people will be able to tell that we’re… you know.” I met his gaze in the mirror, brows knotting in a silent entreaty for him to please know what I was saying without me actually having to utter the word.

  “Fucking.” His voice was little more than a growl, and the grin that graced his handsome face as the word crossed his lips let me know that he got some perverse pleasure from making me squirm. His right hand slid from my shoulder and trailed down my back, fingers loosening the towel around my waist and dropping it to the floor. He gave my bare ass cheek a gentle squeeze and eyed my ever-increasing erection. “You and I are fucking, Peter. It’s not easy to hide something like that, especially when I can’t look at you without wanting to bend you over.”

  I shivered at his words, and at his warm breath against the shell of my ear. “You’re not making me feel better about this. What if I forget, even for just a second? What if I say something incriminating?”

  “What if you do?” He sucked my earlobe into his hot mouth.

  “I don’t know, Gio. What if—” Focusing on what I wanted to say was impossible with him molesting my ear. My world centered on the warm, wet pressure of his gentle sucking, and what little sense I’d had in my brain slid down into my cock.

  Gio finally removed his mouth from my ear with an obscene slurp. “I can hardly bring myself to care.”

  He brought his left hand down to join the other in worshiping the curve of my ass, running his palms so lightly over my skin it tickled. When he dug his fingers into my hips and used his thumbs to spread my cheeks, I let out a broken whimper and pushed back on him, all reflex and instinct.

  “Are you my little slut?” With the pressure of his palms, he spread me wide enough to set the nerve endings on fire and ghosted the pad of one thumb over my hole. “Hmmm? Tell me, Peter. Are you daddy’s little slut?”

  I groaned, unable to form words, and leaned against the front of the counter. My dick pressed against the drawer facing until it was almost painful, but I didn’t lean back in search of relief. The pressure grounded me, and I needed grounding when he said those things that made me feel dirty and wrong and so fucking turned on that my dick throbbed.

  “Climb up onto the counter.” Gio wrapped his arms around me and hoisted me up, not waiting for me to do it myself. I had thought he meant for me to sit on the countertop, but instead, he positioned me on my hands and knees with barely enough room to keep from slipping off the surface. Tipped off my center of gravity, I tensed with the effort to hold my body upright.

  “What are you going to do?” My voice wavered with a Molotov cocktail mixture of excitement and apprehension.

  Instead of answering my question, he kissed a hot trail down over the swell of my ass and then followed the crease at the top of my thigh. He dragged his tongue over the sensitive flesh at the inside of my thigh, then nipped playfully with his teeth, sending little pinpricks of delicious pain shooting through me.

  “Oh, God, Gio,” I moaned shamelessly, losing my balance and careening forward. The side of my face smashed uncomfortably against the mirror, but in my ecstasy, I couldn’t bring myself to give a shit.

  “You like that?” He teased deeper along the crease of my thigh with languorous licks and kisses, and from the hint of a smile in his voice, he knew very well he was driving me mad.

  “Yes,” I said, trembling. “Yes. Yes.” The word became a mantra as he buried his face between my thighs and dragged his tongue up from the base of my sac. My muscles seized up when I felt the wet tip of his tongue touch my hole, but when he started painting lazy circles around it, I nearly melted into a puddle on the counter.

  Was this okay? It was nearly inconceivable to my inexperienced mind that Gio had his mouth back there. It was so unbelievably naughty and dirty and filthy and—

  Oh, God! He touched the tip of his tongue to the very center of me… and pushed. I nearly flew up off the counter as his tongue invaded me, working the tight muscle loose and sending shocks of hot and cold pleasure racing up my nerve endings. It was so fucking intense. More intense than anything I’d ever felt in my life.

  My balls drew up between my legs like a couple of shooter marbles, and I knew it wouldn’t take long. Especially not with the way Gio was moaning as he lapped at my hole, as if he couldn’t get enough. If the vulgar grunts and groans coming out of him were anything to go by, he was just as turned on as I was. The thought made me want to come.

  He kissed my hole, suckling and nipping around the sensitive perimeter before pressing back in and making me gasp. Over and over he repeated the movements, establishing a hypnotic rhythm of suck and plunder until I was mindless and begging. My face was jammed so hard against the glass I was afraid something was going to break, and still, I just moaned out s
trings of nonsense. My harsh breaths sent streaks of fog across the mirror, pulsing like bars on a stereo equalizer.

  Through my delirium, I was aware of Gio’s fingertips tickling over the tightened skin of my sac, touching the base of my cock, and running up its length. It was too much sensation. Too much to handle at once. I pushed back on his tongue and let out an anguished cry as strands of thick, white semen pulsed out of me and onto the countertop.

  Muscle control was a thing of the past, and if Gio hadn’t been holding me steady, I could have crumpled. In all my years of working myself to climax, and even in the limited but overwhelming experiences I’d had with Gio, I had never felt anything so intense in my life.

  With my breath still uneven and little post-orgasmic pulses of sensation still dancing through my limbs like twinkling stars, I allowed Gio to work me gently down to the floor. My face peeled away from the mirror, leaving a smudge from my cheek and a haze of fog that quickly dissipated. My knees ached from grinding into the countertop, and the joints had stiffened from being locked in such an awkward position. I straightened my limbs out slowly, like a newborn colt unfolding into the world, and tried to stand without falling over.

  “How do you feel now?” Gio asked with a knowing grin. He wiped the back of his hand, and the obscene reminder of what he’d just done brought heat to my face. “Are you sufficiently relaxed, or do I need to take you into the bedroom and fuck you until you can’t think at all?” He palmed the very obvious bulge in his pants and raised a brow.

  “Gah,” I said, my tongue as rubbery and useless as my limbs. “I already can’t think, and my muscles are like jelly. Can I just go to sleep?”

  “Not a chance. You’re not getting out of watching boxing that easily.” He looked at his gold Rolex and frowned. “We only have twenty minutes. Just enough time for you to dress and get situated in the great room before people start arriving. I’ll go and make sure the caterer has everything ready.”