My Ex's Son

by M J Rutter

  “Uh, I am a senior in college.” She frowned.

  “Wow, seriously?” I smirked. “So, can you, like, get into a night club, can you even buy a beer?” I asked in a whiny, teen voice.

  “Is she for real?” she chuckled.

  “Porsche,” Jake groaned.

  “I uh, I am just going to leave, if you hear from Cain, please let me know that he’s okay.” I turned to leave.

  “Jenna,” Susan stepped in, “Porsche is leaving now anyway, so…”

  I turned to face Jake, “I have to drop her at the station.” He explained. “I’m sorry.” He added and took her hand, pulling her out of the kitchen.

  I frowned and sighed before I turned to Susan. “I am so sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Jenna.” She smiled slightly.

  “If it weren’t for the fact that I am worried sick about Cain, I wouldn’t have even come here.” I explained. “I didn’t mean to be so disrespectful in your house.”

  “Porsche is not the kind of girl I want to see my son with, Jenna, I am sorry she insulted you like that.” Mr Macalister stated.

  “She’s right though.” I painfully admitted. “I am Jake’s ex and am, well, was, with his son. Anyone on the outside would think the same.”

  “When he walked into that hospital with you on his arm the other night, I couldn’t believe the change in him. I thought, wow, she’s turned him into a man. You are good for each other. Cain and I have never seen eye to eye, he was a difficult teenager and almost got kicked out of college because of his temper, but I gotta hand it to you, Jenna, he has changed and that is because of you.”

  “I think I have blown it.” My eyes filled with tears. “If he has done something stupid, I will never forgive myself.”

  “Cain is not stupid, he may be impulsive, but I don’t think he will do something because he had a fight with someone he loves.”

  “I had to bail him out last week because he got into a fight with his best friend over his ex. I know he is quite capable of getting drunk and brawling with his own father.” I retorted.

  “He wouldn’t want to ruin his job though,” Susan insisted. “Let’s just have some coffee and maybe we can come up with something together. He is either going to call here, you or his father. I am guessing he’d call you before anyone else.”

  “I doubt it, but I would love a cup of coffee.” I replied.

  We sat around the huge counter island and sipped hot coffee. Jake returned eventually, and I thought he was going to say something to me in response to how I spoke to his girlfriend. His father glared at him as he entered, and I prepared myself for a confrontation. He placed his keys on the counter and helped himself to coffee.

  “Did she get her train okay?” his father asked.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t wait around to find out.” He replied bluntly. “She won’t be coming here again.”

  “Why?” Susan asked.

  “I have just broken up with her. I am sorry for how she was with you, Jenna.” He added.

  “It’s fine.” I shrugged.

  “No, it’s not. She had no right to judge you. I had no right to judge you either. Any fool can see he was besotted with you and I truly hope we can find him and make this right.”

  “Me too.” I agreed as I stood to leave, “I should go back to my house in case he is there. Do you have a pen? I’ll give you my numbers, just in case he contacts here first.” Susan handed me a pen and piece of paper. I scribbled down my numbers and pushed it towards her. “Thank you. I’ll get him to call you if he comes to me first.”

  “You could call my phone,” Jake said. “You have my number.”

  “Sure, thanks.” I said and walked to the door with Susan.

  “You made my nephew very happy, Jenna. I truly hope you get a chance to speak with him.”

  “So do I.” I agreed.

  I left the house and headed back to my place. I just thought I would drop by the graveyard first. Something told me that he might be there. As I drove towards the area they buried his grandmother in, I could see someone sat on the grass beside her grave. Still wearing his black suit, Cain glanced up at me as I stopped my car. He stood abruptly and began to walk away. I climbed out of the car and hurried towards him,

  “Cain?” I called out. He turned to face me. He had a bruise on his cheek and the light in his eyes had gone. “Where have you been?” I asked frantically. “Everyone is worried sick.”

  “Everyone? Yeah, right!”

  “Yes, everyone, your dad, grandfather, your aunt, me…”

  “You?”

  I swallowed, “Yes.”

  “Why are you worried about me, Jen? You couldn’t give a flying fig about me yesterday.” He snapped.

  “That’s not true.” I insisted. “I… I.”

  “I have to go. I have an apartment to view in an hour so…”

  “In town?” I asked hopeful.

  “It might be.” He answered coldly. “Please, stop trying to call me. This is hard enough as it is.” He turned and walked away.

  I wanted to tell him I missed him, I wanted to say that I had fallen for him, but my mouth wouldn’t open, and I let him walk out of my life once more. I lifted my phone to my ear after pressing Jake’s number.

  “Hello?” he said.

  “I found him, he was at his grandmother’s graveside. He just left.”

  “Is he alright?”

  “He’s still angry.” I replied. “But he looks okay. He is viewing an apartment though wouldn’t say where. He is walking in the direction of town, you might see him if you leave now.” I added. “I have to go, Jake. Now please, all of you, leave me alone.” I ended the call and headed back to my car.

  I drove past him on the way out, he barely looked up from the ground and inside, I was crushed just a little more. Maybe I had made a mistake, but it didn’t matter now. He hated me and I suppose in the long run, hating me would make it easier for him to get over me. I just didn’t know how I would get over him.

  Fifteen

  I rode the train to work the following Monday morning in dread. I didn’t want to face Cain and I certainly didn’t want to face Lander, after all, I fought hard for Cain to keep his job and if he didn’t turn up, that would be on my shoulders.

  I’d drank my body weight in wine since I saw him Saturday and I won’t lie, I would have given anything to seeing him again. I knew I was wrong, I had acted out of fear and I had over reacted to his father’s words. They had respected my feelings and stayed away like I had asked. Although, Jake had texted to say he had made up with Cain and he would be staying at the mansion for the time being. That’s all I wanted really, Cain to realize he had an amazing family and in a weird way, they did care about him. He didn’t have to be alone, whereas me, well, my life went back to the empty and incomplete existence I had become accustomed to.

  I arrived at the office just before eight, I’d left earlier than normal to avoid, you know who, on the train, and hurried in to the elevator. When I reached my floor, Kate was talking on her phone when I arrived and she jumped to her feet as I approached.

  “I’ll call you back.” She said quickly and ended her call. “Morning.” She then used her biggest, fake smile.

  “Morning.” I sighed. “I have to re-read Love, Dolly, for Sophie today, so I don’t want to be disturbed, okay?”

  “Is everything alright?” she asked cautiously.

  “No.” I answered and slammed my door closed.

  I stayed in my office hiding for the rest of the day. I had no idea if Cain made it to work or not, but as no one had called to ask where he was, I figured he had. I didn’t have a lunch break and worked on Sophie’s final edit all day. I stayed until seven to ensure I didn’t run into him during the journey back to town.

  Over the next few days, as monotonous and as lonely as life had cruelly become, I followed the same routine. Get up, alone, go to work and be alone and then come home, alone. That was my life now, this was what I wanted, this was
what I sacrificed happiness with Cain for, to be nothing to anyone, to never mean anything to anyone else ever again.

  I had the conference coming up the following week in Texas, so busied myself with arrangements and sorting out what I needed to pack. That weekend I called Turner and told him I was heading to Dallas for a conference and he invited me to stay for a few days. It wasn’t until he invited me to stay that I realized it was exactly what I needed, to go away from everything that reminded me of Cain, well, try to anyway.

  Remnants of Cain were everywhere I looked, every room in my house held some sort of memory that involved a conversation, a make out session or extremely hot and satisfying sex. At work, he was everywhere too. I could smell his aftershave in the elevator, I would see him walking towards me and hurry off in the other direction to avoid passing him. I would, for no reason, gaze out of my window to the high street below and see him, talking with his colleagues or taking folders and huge envelopes down the street. Cain was working hard and I suppose I was pleased he had stuck to it.

  First thing Monday morning of the second week since we broke up, I spoke with my manager, Steven, about getting some extra time off and as I had more or less completed Sophie’s novel off, he was happy to give me a much-deserved week off. I called Turner and told him I was coming to stay, he was thrilled.

  Wednesday morning, I arrived early as I had every day since Cain left my life. Kate informed me that Mr Dalton had asked for me to go and see him at nine, so, after some much needed coffee, I headed upstairs.

  Taking a deep, composing breath before braving the long walk from the elevator to Dalton’s office. As I approached Cain’s desk, I focused my eyes on Dalton’s door, ignoring his eyes boring into me as I hurried by. With a quivering hand, I knocked on the door.

  “Come in.” Mr Dalton said. I pushed his door open, “Jenna, please come in.”

  “You wanted to see me?”

  “I did. We need to have a little chat.” He gestured for me to sit opposite him. I sat on the black leather chair and frowned. “You have never told me that you are a writer.”

  “I’m not.” I stiffened. “Well, I mean, I don’t consider myself to be a writer. I have never had anything published so…”

  “So, you are not a writer until you are a published writer, is that what you are saying?” he asked.

  “Sir, I don’t think I have written anything worthy enough to even be considered for publishing.” I elaborated. “So, no, I don’t consider myself to be a writer.” I gazed out of his window at Cain, he was frowning at me.

  “Cain told me you have written an incredible manuscript and I would like to read it.”

  I turned my head back to face him.

  “I don’t think…,” I began.

  “Don’t you trust me, my opinion?” he asked.

  “It’s not that.” I frowned. “Cain, uh…”

  “He read a synopsis of one of our best sellers and said he thought what you had written was better, so, now I am curious.” He smiled. “You have a wonderful gift, Jenna, please allow me to read your novel. I will be as objective to you as I am any new author. I am fair and honest and I would be honoured if you could allow me to do this for you.” I gazed into his warm eyes.

  I nodded my head, “Okay. I’ll bring you a copy of the file.”

  “Thank you.” He smiled. “Now, to more pressing matters. Are you all set for Friday? We are counting on you.”

  “I am, I have the presentation ready to print and have it saved to my laptop in case. I have samples of Sophie’s and Catelyn’s work. I also have cover proofs and merchandise ready, so I think we are all set.”

  “Good, glad to hear it.”

  “I am flying down tomorrow night and then I will be visiting my family for a few days. Sophie’s, Love, Dolly is back with her for final edits and will be back for proofing by Friday. Her cover proofs are ordered and she has three meetings next week with the legal team regarding renewal of her contract.”

  “You have been busy. Well, I have another meeting, so, have a safe trip and enjoy your break.” He stood from his desk. I stood with him and smiled as he opened his door for me. “Don’t forget to let me have that file before you leave tomorrow afternoon.” He said.

  “I won’t, thank you.”

  “Travel safely and I wish you luck.” He added.

  I turned around, Cain was still frowning heavily. As I passed his desk again, he went to speak, I raised my hand and shook my head. I didn’t want to hear a word from him. There was a reason I kept my writing to myself and now my boss knew about it, I was furious at him for going behind my back.

  I hurried to the elevator and back to my office. Almost shaking with temper because I felt as though I was backed into a corner and now I had to deliver, worse than that, Reg Dalton would most probably tell Lander and then the whole damn office would know what a terrible writer I was.

  I logged on to my computer. Cain had sent an email.

  ‘Jenna, please tell me you are not leaving?’

  ‘I am not talking to you’I replied.

  ‘Just tell me.’

  ‘Leave me alone!’

  Nothing came back and I was relieved, I didn’t care that he thought I was leaving, he had betrayed me and it was going to cost me all the integrity and respect I had earned at Dalton, Brian and Brown. Cain would be destroying it with one comment to the boss which had nothing to do with him. He knew why I felt the way I did about my writing, he had no right.

  I looked up from my computer screen when I noticed Kate jump up out of her seat, followed by Cain barging into my office.

  “Cain, you can’t just…” she began.

  “I need to talk to you.” He said forcefully.

  “I can call security.” Kate warned.

  “It’s fine, Kate.” I sighed. “Honestly,” I insisted. She nodded and closed my door.

  “Are you leaving because of me?” he demanded.

  “Why do you care?” I asked sourly.

  He sighed loudly, “Jenna, you can’t. I wouldn’t have this job if it wasn’t for you, I couldn’t stay working here if you left because of me, I would rather leave.”

  “Relax. I am not leaving, I am just going away for a while.” I replied.

  “Going where?” he frowned.

  “To my brother’s. I need, I need time away.” I admitted.

  “But you are coming back?” he asked as he rested his hands on the back of the chair opposite. Squeezing so that his knuckles turned white.

  I paused before answering. “Yes.” I couldn’t lie to him. “Why did you tell Reg Dalton about my writing?”

  “I mentioned it as I thought he would have at least known.” He replied.

  “You knew you were the first person I have allowed to read my stuff, now he wants to read it too.” I snapped. “I told you I wanted it kept private, you had no right, Cain.”

  “Well, I think you have an incredible gift and its tragically selfish to keep it to yourself.” He retorted letting go of the chair. He turned around to leave. “I am sorry if I upset you last week. I didn’t mean to speak to you like that.” He said. “It was a tough day and what happened with us didn’t help matters.”

  “It seems to me that you are either walking away from me, yelling at me, or apologizing for yelling at me.” I stated frankly crossing my arms over my chest.

  He turned to face me wearing a heavy frown, “Have a safe trip, Jenna.” He muttered and left taking another piece of me with him.

  Why couldn’t I just tell him how I was feeling, that I was miserable and lonely without him? I stared after him as he walked to the back of the office to the elevators. He turned around and his eyes met mine while he waited for the doors to open. The ping made him turn away and I returned to my desk. Sighing as I sat and allowed my shaking hands to calm.

  I spent the rest of the day finalizing and rehearsing my presentation and the information I would need to take with me to Dallas. I couldn’t wait to leave now, I needed to ge
t away, away from work, away from Cain and away from my miserable life.

  When I got home that night, I packed my bags and sat staring at the novel Cain had read. I thought about what he said, his words surrounding my characters needing more, needing a happier ending. But it was impossible to write that they were happy and in love, that they got to stay that way when I’d had no proof that happy endings even existed. Did we truly get what we wanted, or did we just settle for what we got? Happy that we had someone, and they loved us, what did it matter if the love wasn’t reciprocated? It had to be better than a life alone.

  I read through the last few chapters, my editing sucked in my college days, but I worked through the chapters, making changes and rather than a happy ending like Cain wanted, I left the ending open with Olivia deciding to follow Brandon and tell him how she felt. I only wished I had her courage.

  When I was sort of happy with it, I saved the file to a memory stick and slipped it into my purse before taking a long, hot bath. As I allowed the bubbles and warmth to soothe my aching muscles, I thought about how life would have been had I not been so quick to end things with Cain. In light of the fact that his father had dumped his latest girlfriend because of the way she spoke to me, I supposed that maybe, should there be any chance with Cain, that he might have been okay with us. Who was I trying to kid? Jake was selfish, if he really cared about my feelings, why the hell did he cheat on me in the first place?

  I loaded my bags into my car and locked my house. I would have preferred to have someone keeping an eye on it, but it wasn’t the first time I had gone away and left it empty. I drove into the city and locked my car in the office parking garage, hurried to the office elevators and headed up to the top floor. If I didn’t give Reg my book right away, then I would have chickened out.