Klara and the Sun

by Kazuo Ishiguro

  I now noticed, a few steps in front of the alcove, a small triangular object left on the floor. I thought for an instant that it was one of the pointed pie slices the Diner Manager had been displaying in his see-through counter. And I recalled Mr Vance’s unkind voice, saying: ‘If you’re not seeking favoritism, then why am I sitting here in front of you now?’ and Miss Helen saying quickly, ‘We are asking him to exercise favoritism, of course we are.’ Only then did I realize the triangle on the floor wasn’t a piece of pie, but a corner of Josie’s paperback, the one she’d let fall from the sofa in the Friend’s Apartment while waiting for the Father. In fact, it wasn’t triangular at all, but had merely appeared that way because only the one corner was protruding out of the shadows. To the left of the front alcove, boxes were drifting and overlapping as if in the evening wind. I saw in several of them the flash of bright colors, and noticed they contained, even if only in the background, the bottles display I’d glimpsed in the store’s new window. The bottles were illuminated in contrasting colors, and in certain boxes I spotted also parts of the sign that said ‘Recessed Lighting’. I knew then that my time was running out, and so continued quickly.

  ‘I know favoritism isn’t desirable. But if the Sun is making exceptions, surely the most deserving are young people who will love one another all their lives. Perhaps the Sun may ask, “How can we be sure? What can children know about genuine love?” But I’ve been observing them carefully, and I’m certain it’s true. They grew up together, and they’ve each become a part of the other. Rick told me this himself only today. I know I failed in the city, but please show your kindness once more and give your special help to Josie. Tomorrow, or perhaps the next day, please look in on her and give her the kind of nourishment you gave Beggar Man. I ask you this, even though it may be favoritism, and I failed in my mission.’

  The Sun’s evening rays had started to fade, leaving the beginnings of darkness inside the barn. Although I’d been trying to remain facing the rear opening, through which his light had been coming, I’d been for a little while aware of some separate light source behind me over my right shoulder. I’d assumed at first it was some further manifestation of the colored bottles display, but as the Sun’s own light in the barn continued to reduce, this new light source had become harder to ignore. I now turned around to look at it, and was surprised to see that the Sun himself, far from leaving, had come right within Mr McBain’s barn and installed himself, almost at floor level, between the front alcove and the barn’s front opening. This discovery was so unexpected – and the Sun’s presence in the low corner so dazzling – that for a brief moment I was in danger of becoming disoriented. Then my vision readjusted, and ordering my mind, I realized the Sun wasn’t really in the barn at all, but that something reflective had been left there by chance and was now catching his reflection during the last moments of his descent. In other words, something was behaving as the Sun’s mirror in much the way the windows of the RPO and other buildings sometimes did. As I walked towards the reflective surface, the light became less fierce, though it remained glowing and orange amidst the surrounding shadows.

  Only when I was standing over it did the nature of the reflective object become clear. Mr McBain – or one of his friends – had left leaning against the wall at this spot several rectangular sheets of glass, stacked one upon the other. Perhaps Mr McBain was finally planning to do something about his missing walls, and perhaps hoping to create windows. In any case, I could see reflected inside the glass rectangles – I estimated seven in all, propped up almost vertically – the Sun’s evening face. I stepped closer still, almost speaking the words out loud.

  ‘Please show your special kindness to Josie.’

  I stared at the glass sheets. The Sun’s reflection, though still an intense orange, was no longer blinding and as I studied more carefully the Sun’s face framed within the outermost rectangle, I began to appreciate that I wasn’t looking at a single picture; that in fact there existed a different version of the Sun’s face on each of the glass surfaces, and what I might at first have taken for a unified image was in fact seven separate ones superimposed one over the other as my gaze penetrated from the first sheet through to the last. Although his face on the outermost glass was forbidding and aloof, and the one immediately behind it was, if anything, even more unfriendly, the two beyond that were softer and kinder. There were three further sheets, and though it was hard to see much of them on account of their being further back, I couldn’t help estimating that these faces would have humorous and kind expressions. In any case, whatever the nature of the images on each glass sheet, as I looked at them collectively, the effect was of a single face, but with a variety of outlines and emotions.

  I continued to stare intently, and then all the Sun’s faces began to fade together, and the light inside Mr McBain’s barn grew dim, and I could no longer see even the triangle of Josie’s paperback, or the sheep stretching down their mouths towards the out-of-reach grass. I said, ‘Thank you for receiving me again. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to perform the service I promised to you. Please consider my request.’ But even within my mind, I spoke these words softly because I knew the Sun had departed.

  * * *

  —

  In the days that followed, Dr Ryan and the Mother often argued in the Open Plan about whether or not Josie should go to a hospital, and although their voices collided – I could hear them through the sliding doors – they seemed always in the end to agree that such a place would only contribute to her misery. Despite this agreement, each time Dr Ryan came, they would go into the Open Plan and go through the discussion all over again.

  Rick came each day, and took his turn sitting in the bedroom, watching over Josie, while the Mother and Melania Housekeeper rested. Both adults by this point had ceased to keep traditional hours, sleeping only when they became overwhelmed by tiredness. My own presence, though appreciated, was for some reason considered insufficient by itself, even though the Mother knew I was likely to spot danger signals before anyone else. In any case, as the days passed, the Mother and Melania Housekeeper became so tired it showed in their every movement.

  Then six days after my second visit to Mr McBain’s barn, the sky grew unusually dark after breakfast. I say ‘after breakfast’, though by then all household routines had become so disrupted there were no breakfasts, or any other meals, being taken at their usual times. That particular morning the sense of disorientation was made worse by the sky’s darkness, and Rick’s arrival was one of the few things to remind us it wasn’t still night.

  As the morning continued, the sky became ever darker, the clouds more dense, then the wind grew very powerful. A loose section of building started to bang at the rear of the house, and when I looked from the bedroom front window, the trees at the rise of the road were bending and waving.

  But Josie slept on, oblivious, her breathing shallow and rapid. Midway through that dark morning, while Rick and I were together watching Josie, Melania Housekeeper appeared, her eyes half closed with tiredness, and said it was her turn to take over. I then watched Rick descend the staircase in front of me, shoulders heavy with sadness, and sit down on the lowest step. Deciding it best to give him privacy for a few moments, I’d gone past him and into the hall, when the Mother came out of the Open Plan. She was in the thin black dressing gown she’d been wearing throughout the night, which displayed the fragility of her neck, and strode past quickly as though in need of her coffee. But at the kitchen doorway, she turned and, noticing Rick sitting on the bottom step, stared at him. It took Rick a moment to realize the Mother was looking at him, but when he did he smiled with courage.

  ‘Mrs Arthur, how are you?’

  The Mother went on staring at him. Then she said, ‘Come on in here,’ and disappeared into the kitchen. Rick gave me a puzzled glance as he rose to his feet. Although the Mother hadn’t invited me, I thought it best to follow behind him.

&
nbsp; The kitchen appeared different because of the darkened sky outside. The Mother hadn’t switched on any lights and, by the time we came in, she was gazing out of the large windows towards the road she normally took to her work. Rick stopped uncertainly near the Island, and I myself paused at the refrigerator to give privacy. From that position, I was able to see the large windows, and beyond the Mother’s figure, the highway rising into the distance, and the waving trees.

  ‘I wanted to ask you something,’ the Mother said. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Rick?’

  ‘Please go right ahead, Mrs Arthur.’

  ‘I was wondering if right now you might be feeling like you’re the winner. Like maybe you’ve won.’

  ‘I don’t understand, Mrs Arthur.’

  ‘I’ve always treated you okay, haven’t I, Rick? I hope I have.’

  ‘You certainly have. You’ve always been very kind. And a great friend to my mother.’

  ‘So I’m now asking you. I’m asking you, Rick, if you feel like you’ve come out the winner. Josie took the gamble. Okay, I shook the dice for her, but it was always going to be her, not me, who won or lost. She bet high, and if Dr Ryan’s right, she might soon be about to lose. But you, Rick, you played it safe. So that’s why I’m asking you. How does this feel to you just now? Do you really feel like a winner?’

  The Mother had said all this while staring at the dark sky, but she now turned to face Rick.

  ‘Because if you’re feeling like the winner, Rick, I’d like you to reflect on this. First. What exactly do you believe you’ve won here? I ask because everything about Josie, from the moment I first held her, everything about her told me she was hungry for life. The whole world excited her. That’s how I knew from the start I couldn’t deny her the chance. She was demanding a future worthy of her spirit. That’s what I mean when I say she played for high stakes. Now what about you, Rick? Do you really think you were so smart? Do you believe of the two of you, you’ve come out the winner? Because if that’s so, then please ask yourself this. What is it you’ve won? Take a look. Take a look at your future.’ She waved a hand at the window. ‘You played for low stakes and what you’ve won is small and mean. You may feel pretty smug just now. But I’m here to tell you, you’ve got no reason to be feeling that way. No reason at all.’

  While the Mother had been speaking, something had ignited in Rick’s face, something dangerous, till he was looking very much as he’d done during the interaction meeting when he’d challenged the boys wanting to throw me across the room. He now took a step towards the Mother, and suddenly she too seemed to feel alarm.

  ‘Mrs Arthur,’ Rick said. ‘Most times I’ve come here lately, Josie hasn’t been well enough to talk. But last Thursday she had a good day, and I was sitting close by the bed so I wouldn’t miss anything. And what she said was that she wanted to give me a message. A message for you, Mrs Arthur, but one she wasn’t ready for you to hear. What I mean is, she was asking me to hold this message for her till the correct time. Well, I’m thinking perhaps now’s the correct time.’

  The Mother’s eyes became large and filled with fear, but she said nothing.

  ‘Josie’s message,’ Rick went on, ‘was something like this. She says that no matter what happens now, never mind how it plays out, she loves you and will always love you. She’s very grateful you’re her mother and she never even once wished for any other. That’s what she said. And there was more. On this question of being lifted. She wants you to know she wouldn’t wish it any other way. If she had the power to do it again, and this time it was up to her, she says she’d do exactly what you did and you’ll always be the best mother she could have. That’s about it. As I say, she didn’t want me to pass it on until the correct time. So I’m hoping I’ve judged this right, Mrs Arthur, telling you now.’

  The Mother stared expressionlessly at Rick, but while he’d been speaking, I’d spotted something – something possibly very important – through the large windows behind her, and now, taking advantage of Rick’s pause, I raised my hand. The Mother ignored me and went on staring at Rick.

  ‘That’s some message,’ she said finally.

  ‘Excuse me,’ I said.

  ‘Jesus,’ the Mother said, and sighed quietly. ‘That’s some message.’

  ‘Excuse me!’ This time I’d almost shouted, and both the Mother and Rick turned my way. ‘I’m sorry to interrupt. But there’s something occurring outside. The Sun’s coming out!’

  The Mother glanced at the large windows, then back at me. ‘Sure. So what? What’s the matter with you, honey?’

  ‘We must go upstairs. We must go up to Josie straight away!’

  The Mother and Rick had been looking at me with puzzled expressions, but when I said this, they looked fearful, and even as I turned towards the hall, they both rushed past me, so that I found myself hurrying up the staircase behind them.

  They may not have understood why I’d called out as I had, and perhaps believed Josie was in sudden danger. So when they burst into the bedroom, they must have been relieved to find her asleep as before, breathing steadily. She was lying on her side as she often did, her face mostly hidden by the hair falling over it. There was nothing unexpected about Josie herself, but the room was another matter. The Sun’s patterns were falling over various sections of wall, floor and ceiling with unusual intensity – a deep orange triangle above the dresser, a bright curved line crossing the Button Couch, brilliant bars across the carpet. But Josie herself, in her bed, was in shadow, as were many other parts of the room. Then the shadows started to move and I realized – my vision adjusting – that they were being created by Melania Housekeeper, standing at the front window, tugging at the blind and the curtains. The blind was already fully lowered, and she was pulling the curtains over it to form a double layer, and yet the piercing light was somehow coming past the edges to create the shapes around the room.

  ‘Damn Sun!’ Melania Housekeeper called out. ‘Go away, damn Sun!’

  ‘No, no!’ I went quickly to Melania Housekeeper. ‘We must open them, open everything! We must let the Sun do his best!’

  I tried to take the curtain material from her, and though she at first didn’t let go, she did so eventually with a look of surprise. By then, Rick had appeared at my side and, seemingly coming to some intuitive conclusion, also reached forward to raise the blind and pull back the curtains.

  The Sun’s nourishment then came into the room so abundantly Rick and I reeled back, almost losing balance. Melania Housekeeper, her hands covering her face, said again: ‘Damn Sun!’ But she made no further attempt to block his nourishment.

  I’d stepped back from the window, but not before noticing that outside the wind was as powerful as ever, and that not only were the trees still waving, there were many tiny funnels and pyramids – each looking as though drawn in sharp pencil lines – blowing swiftly across the sky. But the Sun had broken through the dark clouds, and all at once – as if each of us in the room had received a secret message – we turned to look at Josie.

  The Sun was illuminating her, and the entire bed, in a ferocious half-disc of orange, and the Mother, standing closest to the bed, was having to raise her hands to her face. Rick seemed now somehow to have guessed what was occurring, but I was interested to observe how both the Mother and Melania Housekeeper seemed also to have grasped its essence. So, for the next few moments, we all remained in our fixed positions as the Sun focused ever more brightly on Josie. We watched and waited, and even when at one point the orange half-disc looked as if it might catch alight, none of us did anything. Then Josie stirred, and with squinting eyes, held a hand up in the air.

  ‘Hey. What’s with this light anyway?’ she said.

  The Sun continued relentlessly to shine on her, and she shifted till she was on her back, propped up by the pillows and headboard.

  ‘What’s going on?’

&nb
sp; ‘How are you feeling, honey?’ the Mother asked in a whisper, staring at Josie as if in fear.

  Josie slumped back against her pillows till she was almost looking up at the ceiling. But there was an obvious new strength to the way she’d maneuvered herself.

  ‘Hey,’ she said. ‘Is the blind stuck or something?’

  The loose piece of house structure was still banging somewhere, and when I next glanced out of the window, the darkness was once more spreading across the sky. Then even as we watched, the Sun’s patterns faded over Josie, till she was lying there in the gray of an overcast morning.

  ‘Josie?’ the Mother said. ‘How do you feel?’

  Josie looked at her with a tired expression, shifting herself to face us better. The Mother, seeing this, moved forward, perhaps with the intention of making Josie lie down again. But even as she reached Josie, she appeared to change her mind, and began to assist Josie in finding a more comfortable sitting posture.

  ‘You look better, honey,’ the Mother said.

  ‘Look, what’s going on?’ Josie asked. ‘Why’s everyone here? What are you all staring at?’

  ‘Hey, Josie,’ Rick said suddenly, his voice filled with excitement. ‘You look a complete mess.’