In Between

by Beca Lewis

  Connie understood why Edith had chosen him. Theo was everything Edith had set out to get. He was handsome, in what Connie thought of as a stereotypical way, tall with dark hair that curled onto his collar. Connie thought the hairstyle was affected. It was a way to look rebellious and still be owned by tradition.

  However, she agreed with Edith that Theo was charming. His dark brown eyes would warm slightly when he listened, and he always knew the right thing to say.

  That quality irritated Connie the most. She figured that the only way he could be that charming all the time was that he worked at it. And that meant, to Connie, that he was faking it. Maybe it only covered a shallow interior which Connie rationalized that Edith wouldn’t mind, as long as he provided her with what she wanted: home, family, and security.

  But Connie worried that the charm hid more than that. She worried that Theodore Prince had gone searching for the perfect wife the same way Edith had searched for the perfect husband. She worried that Theo wanted a compliant woman who would keep his home and provide a family in exchange for what Connie saw as false security.

  But Connie loved Edith, and Edith loved Theo, so she defended Edith’s choice to Ralph and Lorraine. Ralph and Lorraine didn’t want their daughter to move away, and that was their disappointment.

  However, she didn’t defend Edith’s choice to Bill because Connie knew that Bill also worried about Theo and his motives. Still, she told Bill not to worry. She would continue to watch over Edith. At the time, they both thought that was possible.

  Even though Connie and Edith were heading into two separate lives, Connie believed with all her heart that they would always be best friends and that their soul-sister status would never change.

  Bill had shaken his head at Connie’s optimism, but said nothing. What could he say? That it was obvious what was coming? But not wanting to spoil his sister’s happiness, he never let on how worried he was about her choice. Only much later did he share his feelings. But by then, it was too late.

  They planned the wedding for the end of the summer of 1968 to accommodate Connie’s plans to go to work at her new job in the fall. She was not working for Ralph. This was the way she had disappointed Ralph and Lorraine.

  Connie had waited to tell Ralph and Lorraine one morning around the same kitchen table where they had first told her they would support her through school. Connie cried as she told them.

  Lorraine had held her hand, and Ralph took a long moment before clearing his throat, and although his eyes filled with tears, he told her how proud he was of her. And his job offer was always open to her. But he understood that she wanted more than to be an accountant in a small town like Doveland.

  When Edith and Bill came down to breakfast, only Bill knew that something had happened, but all three kept it to themselves. It was to be Edith’s last summer at home, and they wanted it to be the best summer of her life.

  Between planning for the picture-perfect wedding, and lengthy phone calls with Theo, Edith was never happier. Connie was happy too, but she knew that no matter what they said to each other about things not changing, there would never be another summer like this one again.

  She was right. The trip she made back to Doveland after that summer never reached that level of joy. And then that terrible thing happened, and she never returned.

  And now, here she was again. And once again, all she felt was sorrow and anger. But this time, Connie asked herself who was responsible for what had happened. She didn’t like the answer, because all of it pointed back to her.

  That was why Eddie had brought her back to Doveland. However, what she didn’t understand was, now that she was dead, how could she do anything about it? Besides, that was in the past. Nothing could change the past, could it?

  Thirteen

  The Diner hadn’t changed much. Bryan knew that a husband and wife had bought the Diner a few years before and upgraded it, but they kept the general look of the Diner the same.

  He found that reassuring. Because even though he had lost his parents, the town and the Diner still held their memories for him. He and his mom and dad had often had Sunday morning breakfasts at the Diner. His dad always made the same stupid joke. Sunday was a day for his wife to take a break from breakfast making. It wasn’t amusing, but his mom would always laugh and squeeze his dad’s hand.

  At the time, their obvious love for each other made him uncomfortable. Now he envied them.

  Rachel Windsor was waiting for him in the same booth they would meet in when they were kids. Like him, she had aged since their years in high school, but he thought she looked even more beautiful if that was even possible.

  In his eyes, she had always been the most beautiful girl in school. That they were friends kept some taunting from the other boys at bay. If Rachel liked him, he couldn’t be as big a wimp as he looked.

  Maturity suited Rachel. On the other hand, he knew he hadn’t aged well. Worry had put lines on Bryan’s forehead, and dark circles around his eyes. Rachel’s quickly disguised look of shock at seeing him told him it was probably worse than he thought.

  After ordering, Rachel sipped at her drink and chatted about her garden and the town. He knew she was trying to lighten the mood, and when he barely answered her, she finally stopped, sat back against the seat of the booth, and asked him what was going on.

  Taking a sip of water, Bryan gathered his courage and said, “It’s mom.”

  Tipping her head to the side, Rachel looked over at her friend and asked, “Your mom? What about your mom?”

  Seeing the compassion present in Rachel’s blue eyes, he said, “I see her sometimes.”

  When Rachel didn’t move but continued to listen, he added, “Not as much anymore. Mostly right after she died, she would come to tell me things.

  “At first, I thought I was dreaming, but then it happened all the time. Sometimes she would appear out of nowhere and sit at the table, or out in the garden, and start talking.

  “I know. It’s crazy. And I probably would be okay with it if I just saw mom. I could figure that it’s just my mind giving me memories of her because I miss her so much. And I was such a lousy son.

  “She tells me all the time, just as she did when she was alive, that I’m not, or wasn’t. Which is good. I am starting to believe that she and dad loved me anyway. So that’s what I would think is happening, me trying to make sense of my life. Except…”

  “Except what, Bryan,” Rachel urged, reaching out and holding his hand on the table.

  “Except now I see other people that are dead, too.”

  Many thoughts ran through Rachel’s mind, wondering what words would be the right ones to say. Looking up, she saw Pete, the owner of the Diner, coming towards them with their food order, and she said, “Well, I am not surprised. After all, it’s Doveland.”

  Releasing Bryan’s hand, Rachel sat back so Pete could put the plate down. She smiled up at him, and then looked back to Bryan, who looked at her as if he had never seen her before.

  “Come on,” she said, gesturing at their food. “Eat up. It’s delicious, and it looks as if you need to do some serious eating.”

  Rachel started up again on the chit chat while taking bites of food and smiling at Bryan, who, after realizing that was all she would say until they ate, had almost sucked up his food.

  “I guess I was hungry,” Bryan said, looking down at his empty plate.

  Rachel licked the salt off her fingertips from the french fries and smiled. “Me, too. Now, do you want to tell me more, or was that it?”

  “You mean it’s not weird to you? And what do you mean, ‘after all, it’s Doveland?’”

  “No, it’s not weird to me. Actually, I’m a little jealous. I’ve always wanted to be able to see dead people, not scary ones, just people that I would like to have a conversation with.

  “And as for Doveland. Well, since you left, peopl
e moved here that do some strange things. At least I’ve heard about them.

  “You know I love listening in on conversations, and I overheard a few doozies that made me think some of our recent residents can do things the rest of us can’t. So maybe they made room for this kind of thing to happen to you.”

  When Bryan said nothing, Rachel continued, “Did it start with your mom? Was she the first dead person you saw?”

  Bryan nodded, “Yes. But then mom told me I could have done this all along if I hadn’t been so afraid. So when she died, she opened the door for me because it worried her I would never get there on my own, beating myself up the way that I did. Or do.”

  Bryan paused, thinking about what he was saying. Rachel squeezed his hand and nodded at him to continue.

  “Mom told me that there were people in what she called the in-between that could use my help.”

  “So, have you helped anyone yet?”

  “Not really. I don’t see that many, and most of them ignore me. But there is one boy that I’ve talked to, and he said he would bring me someone that needed my help.

  “But, like I told mom, I don’t understand how I’m supposed to help him. The boy said that he would show me. He would be my guide.”

  “What’s the boy’s name?”

  “Eddie.”

  “Eddie? Eddie, who?”

  “I don’t know. I never asked his last name. But he looks like he is maybe ten years old.”

  “Well, find out his last name, then perhaps we can do some research about him, which might be helpful, especially if he lived here. Did he say who he was bringing and when?”

  “No, he didn’t,” Bryan answered, as he glanced outside the window, and then added, “but it looks like it’s a woman, and it might be now.”

  Fourteen

  Rachel followed Bryan’s gaze. He was looking across the street at the small park that sat in the center of the town. Spring had arrived, so a few people were sitting on the park benches, maybe waiting for someone to finish shopping, or just taking a moment to enjoy the fresh spring air.

  None of them looked like a ghost to her. But then, she had no idea what a ghost looked like anyway. When the new people had come to town, rumors had spread that they could see people who had died, and they talked with people who visited from other dimensions.

  Although Rachel believed that was possible, no amount of trying—which she did—produced anything other than drowsiness. She had given up trying, deciding that some people must have that talent, and others didn’t. She obviously didn’t.

  But what she did have was a burning curiosity—about everything—which is why she listened in on conversations, read too many books for her own good, as her mother used to tell her, and researched the idea that some people could see people who had died. The word ghost was discouraged. She agreed. The word ghost made her think of Halloween and wearing white sheets with holes in them like they did when they were kids.

  Either way, Rachel had decided neither to believe nor not believe. Instead, she would remain curious and open-minded. It seemed impossible to her that the universes could be only what they knew now.

  I mean, after all, she would tell herself, think of all the previously unknown things that science has discovered that were right in front of us all along. What else is there?

  Rachel could also not believe that she would one day vanish and never be seen again, just as she couldn’t believe that all of creation popped into existence one day. No. She was curious, and she was logical. That version of creation made no sense. But what did? That’s what interested her.

  This was another reason she had always loved hanging out with Bryan. Sure, she dated lots of boys in high school. But Bryan was the one that stayed a constant. Probably because they hadn’t dated. They were just friends.

  He didn’t chase after her and make her feel like some kind of prize to be acquired. Instead, he told her things. Why he loved the woods and the animals he knew. Like the rabbit. Rachel wondered if a rabbit still walked with him in the woods.

  Bryan took her for many walks in the woods, showing her plants and trees, explaining what they were and how they lived, and how they collaborated. Rachel found it fascinating.

  She found Bryan fascinating, too. In the woods, Bryan came alive. His blue eyes would flash, he’d run his hand through his sandy hair, little bits of twigs remaining in it, and she would think he was the most handsome boy she had ever seen.

  But she was afraid to let him know how she felt. His friendship was too important to her. She was a person to him, not a body, not a conquest. She was the person he trusted. So she waited for him to make a move, hoping for something no matter how small, like holding her hand or a tiny kiss on the cheek.

  Rachel dreamed about it and drew little stick figures of the two of them, hoping that maybe it would come true.

  But it hadn’t. Bryan had left the day after graduation, and even when he visited his parents, he never came to see her. So she gave up, married one of the boys who chased her, went to school part time and worked at a local real estate office. The marriage had lasted ten years—long enough for Rachel to know that she couldn’t turn herself into what he wanted.

  Instead, she wanted a career, and with the help of the people in the real estate office, eventually became a realtor on her own. Her husband hated that she was never home. And she hated to go home. Finally, they both knew they had probably never been a suitable match. He moved away, and for the past twelve years, she had remained happily single. She had thought of moving to a big city—more opportunity, make more money, meet more people.

  She had even tried it for a few months. She had hated it—too much noise, too many cars, too many strangers. Besides, in the back of her head, she always thought that maybe, just maybe, someday Bryan would come home, and they would walk in the woods together again.

  And now here he was. And her heart still beat a little faster when she looked at him. Despite the worry lines and the dark circles under his eyes, he was still beautiful to her. Rachel knew that men didn’t want to be called beautiful, but it was what she saw in him. A beauty underneath all the worry that had always been there and still was.

  Rachel knew that his parents had seen it too. But his parents didn’t know how to help Bryan find his way in a world that rarely valued that kind of inner beauty and awareness. If Bryan didn’t appreciate it in himself, how could he expect others to?

  So, although Bryan hadn’t yet invited her to walk in the woods, he had asked to see her. When he called, she had to work hard at not shouting “yes” at the invitation. Instead, she calmly said that she would love to.

  She had expected little from the meeting. So the fact that he had shared his biggest secret and biggest fear with her made her happy, even though she could see the fear in him.

  Rachel knew that he worried that perhaps he was crazy, and if so, what could he do about it. So she wanted to be able to look out the window and see what he saw. For him. For her.

  But that wishing didn’t make it happen. Instead, it was a typical view of the park. She saw people she knew, and none of them were dead. Although, she thought, perhaps she hadn’t heard that they had died?

  However, the woman who owned the coffeehouse across the street was handing out drinks to people on the bench, so they must be alive. Grace was like that, always reaching out. And Grace was most definitely alive, which meant so were the people on the benches, and the ones driving their cars around the park.

  So she had to ask Bryan. “Who do you see?” and wait for his answer.

  “Eddie and some woman. She doesn’t appear thrilled with him, though.”

  “What happens now?” Rachel asked.

  “Well, it appears that he wants me to come outside and talk with him. I know that you can’t see him, but will you come with me?”

  Bryan looked at Rachel and realized that s
he was already standing and had put money on the table. Her eyes were shining with delight.

  “Come on. I can’t wait to meet this Eddie. Even if I can’t see him, you can tell me what he says.”

  Bryan felt as if a thousand-pound weight had been lifted off of his chest. Maybe it would be alright, after all.

  What Bryan and Rachel didn’t see as they left the Diner, was Pete watching them. He had heard what they said. It didn’t surprise him, but at the next Monday night meeting, he would let them know. Just in case they could help.

  Fifteen

  Eddie saw Bryan heading his way along with a woman who was holding onto his arm as if she was stepping into something dangerous. Bryan was frowning, as always. Eddie knew that Bryan didn’t like the unfamiliar world he had found himself in, especially his participation in it.

  Bryan’s mother, Jillyan, was the reason the door to the in-between had opened for him, and even though she had done Bryan a favor, he hadn’t realized that yet.

  Connie turned to look at the two people heading towards them and realized that the man was looking right at her. “That man sees me?” she whispered.

  Eddie didn’t answer Connie. It wasn’t necessary, because Bryan had stopped in front of Eddie and asked, “Who is she?”

  Before Eddie could answer, Bryan’s friend had whispered something to him, and he looked at her as if she had lost her mind. But he did what she asked. Bryan turned to Eddie and said, “This is my friend Rachel Windsor, and Rachel, this is Eddie Prince and..?”

  When Eddie said, “Connie Matthews,” Bryan repeated her name to Rachel.

  “Wait,” Rachel said. “Eddie Prince? I know that name. Do I know you from before?” Rachel asked, looking in the direction that she thought Eddie must be standing, but missing him by a few feet.

  Eddie and Connie exchanged looks before Eddie answered. Since Rachel couldn’t hear Eddie, Bryan relayed what he said.