Ice

by Stephanie Rowe

  Cort caught her arm and she looked up at him. His face was grim. “It may have started being about your mother, but now it appears that it’s about you.”

  Kaylie sat up in Jackson and Sara’s bed. She hugged her knees to her chest and continued to stare at the picture windows that took up two entire sides of the bedroom. She was sure the view was incredible during the day.

  At night, they were invitations for a madman to spy on her.

  Or line up his gun and take a shot.

  Cort had cut off the search as soon as they’d left a message for Trooper Mann about the photo. They were both exhausted, and it was past midnight. Cort was right, of course, and she knew he’d called it a day because of her strain, not his. She was too drained to focus, to cope with what they’d learned, but she’d been completely unable to sleep.

  The man had killed Jackson and Sara. Attacked Cort with an ax. Masturbated on a picture of her. Done God knows what to her mother. And he was out there, somewhere, and he knew they were in the cabin. What was he waiting for? When would he be back? And what would he do to Kaylie when he returned?

  An ax, like Cort?

  A knife, like Sara and Jackson?

  Or would he play out his sexual fantasies on her?

  “Okay. That’s it.” There was no way she could sleep.

  Kaylie kicked back the covers and padded across the bare wood floor, slipping through the open door to the living room. It was so dark she couldn’t see more than a shadowy outline of the furniture.

  There was no sound.

  Not even Cort’s breathing.

  Was he still here? Had her stalker slipped inside and taken him out silently?

  A hand touched the back of her neck, and she screamed, whirling around as she lunged out of his reach.

  “Hey! It’s me.”

  The familiar cadence of Cort’s deep voice penetrated her panic, and she spun toward him. “You!” She slammed her fist into his chest. “Don’t scare me like that!”

  Cort caught her fist in his hand and squeezed lightly, immobilizing her with hardly any effort. Making her too aware of how vulnerable she was. “Tonight’s not the night to sneak around in here,” he said, his voice rough, as she heard the thud of him setting down something heavy. “You need something, you speak up. Tell me you’re coming. Got it?”

  “Yes. Sorry.” Kaylie bristled at his annoyed tone, but it also reassured her. No one would be catching Cort unaware tonight, and that was such a solid feeling. She hugged herself as she strained to see his face, but it was too dark. All she could detect was the outline of his shoulders towering over her. “I just…um…You mind if I camp out on the chair out here while you sleep?”

  There was silence for a minute, long enough that she started to shift uncomfortably.

  “Why?” His voice had gone deep and husky, and her body kicked into hyperawareness of how near he was, of their total isolation in the woods.

  They could do anything they wanted out here.

  No one would know.

  It was so far away from reality.

  “Kaylie. Why do you want to sleep out here?” His voice had gone deep, sensuous, his thumb tracing seductive circles on her fist, still imprisoned in his hand.

  “Because…” She swallowed, trying not to remember that his sexual interest wasn’t about her. It was simply sex. A testosterone-overloaded wild male who was alone with a woman he’d pounded into bliss twenty-four hours ago. What male wouldn’t be thinking about it? But in the morning, she would still be who she was, and he would still be who he was, and there would be no common ground.

  But her heart would be tangled up in his a little bit more. “I want to stay in here because the windows are too big in there. I’ll just sit in the chair. I won’t bother you or anything.”

  “If we’re going to be sleeping together, we might as well be comfortable.” He turned and walked into the bedroom. She heard the creak of bed springs and the sound of him tossing back the covers.

  “We aren’t sleeping together,” she called out.

  He didn’t answer.

  Kaylie bit her lip. “I’m not having sex with you.”

  He still didn’t answer.

  “Are you listening?”

  “Nope.”

  To her surprise, a smile burst out of her at his unapologetic reply. So arrogant. So entirely committed to who he was. She doubted he’d ever apologized for anything in his life, whereas she spent her life feeling guilty about abandoning her family, struggling with who she was, trying to silence the demons stalking her every time she closed her eyes or saw a mountain in the distance.

  She slowly walked into the bedroom, barely able to make out the lump in the bed. Her whole life, she’d hated all the adrenaline junkies who had been a part of her world. She’d despised them and dismissed them. Even after all these years, she couldn’t understand them, and she resented how easy it was for them to hurt her.

  But Cort…He was more than that. Sure, he would break her heart and he would die young, but there was more depth to him that that. It wasn’t enough to change him from being her worst nightmare, but enough to make her wish, a tiny little bit, that she could be like him. Be sucked into his world. To relive again and again that joyous fun they’d had in the plane when he was flying like a madman to scare Trooper Mann, when the wind was whipping past the plane and she was playing just the tiniest bit outside the rules.

  To simply live her life and not care. Not worry. Just be.

  Cort made her realize, just a little bit, the appeal of living life that way, because Cort, more than anyone she knew, was alive.

  And when they’d made love, Cort had made her feel alive, too. Despite the grief, her fear, her years of knowing how to be alone, he’d helped her connect to another human and brought her soul to life. For that brief moment, she hadn’t been afraid, she hadn’t been fighting memories and fears, she’d simply been in the moment. And an amazing moment it had been.

  Did Cort feel like that all the time? Because if he did…For the first time, she understood the allure of that lifestyle.

  Climbing mountains had never given her that high, but sex with him and being sucked into the vortex of energy that emanated from him…That had definitely taken her to new levels of exhilaration.

  And it was too addicting.

  Kaylie couldn’t afford to go down that path again. But as she readied herself to climb into bed with him, she wished she could forget about real life just for one more night in his arms.

  Grabbing the corner of the quilt, Kaylie slipped beneath the covers. Her foot brushed his bare leg, and awareness shot up her calf. If she were like Cort, she would jump him right now and not care about the ramifications. She’d be able to have sex tonight and walk away in the morning without a thought, other than to wonder where her next adrenaline high was coming from.

  Because Kaylie wanted Cort to make love to her so much, if there was any way to let go of her fears, she would climb right on top of him and start kissing. To feel his arms around her, his mouth hot on hers, the sweat on his chest as he pounded her into oblivion…

  Her nipples tightened, and she felt her cheeks burn. She was suddenly grateful for the darkness that made it impossible for him to see her face as she tugged the covers up.

  Cort shifted, and his arm went around her, pulling her up close.

  She stiffened. She wasn’t Cort. Unlike him, she would break. “Let go of me,” she whispered.

  “No.” He nuzzled her hair, and tingles went down her spine. “You smell so damn good.”

  His lips trailed over her neck and she closed her eyes, fisting the sheets as she fought not to throw her arms around his neck and pull him close. Why was he such a temptation? Why did she want him so badly? Was she the one with a death wish, not him?

  Because getting involved with him would surely kill her.

  His hand slid beneath the hem of her silk camisole and spanned her belly, and her resistance began to slip away. His touch was warm. Gentle
. Caressing. Touching her the way she’d yearned to be touched.

  In the darkness, he could be anyone.

  Cort kissed her throat.

  In the darkness, he could be a banker.

  His lips brushed over her eyelid.

  In the darkness, he could be an accountant.

  He bent his head and caught her mouth in the softest kiss she’d ever experienced. His lips were slow and precise, his tongue a delicate tease as it slipped between her lips, eliciting the most delicious spirals of desire curling through her body.

  It wasn’t the kiss of an adrenaline junkie out for a night of hot sex. It was the kiss of a lover, a man who was prepared to spend the next six hours worshipping her body in a slow, delicious, passionate night of loving.

  His hand slipped around to her bottom and caressed her through her silk boxers. His hand moving in tantalizing circles across her rear, he dropped his head, his tongue teasing over her chest, moving lower toward the edge of her lace camisole. Her pulse began to pound, and she tipped her head back, anticipation building in her as his hand moved to the back of her thigh, cupping her leg, his fingers so close to the part of her body screaming for him—

  He stopped abruptly.

  She opened her eyes, felt his gaze on her. Burning her up. “Cort?”

  He lifted her ruby necklace, and she realized he’d encountered it when he was kissing her chest.

  “This has to come off.” He touched her earrings. “And these.”

  She frowned. “Why?”

  “Because I don’t like them.” His voice was hard.

  “But I do.” She couldn’t remove them. The jewelry was the essence of who she had worked so hard to become. The jewelry, the silk lingerie—she didn’t want to be anyone else. She couldn’t be someone else. Couldn’t even open that door. “They stay on.”

  Cort stared at her for another second, then fisted her hair and kissed her again.

  But this time it wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t tender. It was a domination, a kiss meant to strip her of all thought, all sanity, a kiss that took control and allowed no room for anything but what he wanted.

  Kaylie fought it—she did. She struggled not to respond to him, but it was impossible. She needed that intensity, that passion, that fire. It reached into her core and grabbed her in a way that she couldn’t resist. She clung to him, kissing him back, unable to stop. Her body was on fire, her nipples aching, heat spiking in her belly….

  He moved over her, his body pressing her to the bed, his hips between her thighs. He was heavy, he was hot, he was utterly dominating, not giving her a chance to stop, to think, to breathe…and she didn’t want to.

  She didn’t want her brain to wake up and stop her.

  She just wanted to lose herself in this moment, in him, in who he was.

  He swore and rolled off her to the other side of the bed.

  Cold air hit her. Cold air and a feeling of complete loss. “What’s wrong?”

  “Take off the earrings.”

  She propped herself up to look at him, her body screaming for his, for more. For him to touch her, to kiss her, to—“What is your problem with my earrings?”

  “They’re diamonds.”

  “So?”

  “So, they don’t belong out here.”

  She stared at him, realizing what he was saying. “You want me to take them off so you don’t have to think about who you’re making love to? So you can pretend I’m something else? Someone else?”

  He didn’t answer.

  Kaylie flopped back, staring at the ceiling as a horrible ache settled in her chest. Yes, it was the same thought she’d had while he was kissing her, but it had been a fleeting thought. She’d known the entire time that she was kissing Cort, and it was Cort she wanted.

  But he couldn’t kiss her unless she became someone else? It was something her parents would have said. Diamonds, all of her life choices, made her worthless in their eyes. “You’re brutal,” she whispered. “You don’t deserve me.”

  There was silence, her words heavy in the air.

  “I don’t deserve you?” He repeated her words slowly, disgust building with each phrase. “You’re too good for me? With your fancy clothes and jewelry? I’m not worthy?” The sarcasm dripped from his voice, the sneer of disdain. “Yeah, trust me, I’ve heard that before.”

  She winced. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “Fuck that.” He punched the pillow and shifted away from her. “Fancy jewelry and a couple degrees don’t matter out here. Out here, it’s about your soul, and trust me, you’re the one who doesn’t measure up.”

  Kaylie closed her eyes as the decades-old hardness settled around her heart again. She hadn’t even realized her shield had begun to fall until she felt the old protections rebuilding, creating a hollowness in her chest, as if her heart were encased in a hard shell. But instead of making her feel safe, she felt empty, alone. Dead.

  At least he couldn’t hurt her anymore.

  No one could.

  But Kaylie couldn’t let his words be the last ones between them. “I like my jewelry,” she said. “But I don’t think I’m better than you. Just…” She trailed off, not sure how to say it without sounding exactly like the person he’d accused her of being.

  Yes, he didn’t deserve her.

  Not because she was better than he was.

  But because she needed someone who loved the person she wanted to be. Not someone who wanted to pretend that person didn’t exist. “I won’t be dismissed,” she whispered.

  Of course, he didn’t answer.

  But she heard his breathing catch, and she knew he was still awake and that he’d heard every word.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I won’t be dismissed.

  Kaylie’s words burned in Cort’s brain as he paused on his way out of the bedroom the next morning, rifle in hand. She was sprawled on her back, one delicate arm flung above her head on the pillow, her fingers curled ever so slightly, just enough for him to see her glossy nails. He doubted she had a single callus on her body, a scar anywhere.

  She was flawless, an unsoiled beauty who could never survive Alaska. Who wouldn’t want to, even if she could. How had she wound up with a family that had gone missing on Denali? Probably rookies, out for a joyride, totally clueless as to what the mountain would do to them. Rich people who thought they could buy their way into finding passion in life again.

  He’d seen it plenty of times, flown those fools right up into the mountains, then come back two days later to cart home people with frostbite, broken legs, and an oath to go back to their comfortable little worlds and never return.

  But then he thought of her story about when she was eleven. Getting ditched on the mountain with a broken leg. It didn’t fit her. Summiting at that age? It must have been some small hill that Alaskans would consider nothing more than a hump in the earth.

  Cort’s gaze wandered over the lushness of her brown hair. He knew how it smelled. He could still remember how soft it was. There was nothing hard about Kaylie. Nothing at all. And being up close with her…He’d liked it too damn much.

  She made him forget about everything else. With Kaylie beneath him, he was in the moment. He simply was.

  The blankets were around her waist, and she was wearing some pale pink shiny top with the thinnest damn straps he’d ever seen. Lace teased him, and he could make out the dark pink of her nipples beneath the fabric.

  His cock hardened.

  She shifted slightly, and the diamond in her left ear blinked as the sun caught it. It was a big diamond. He wasn’t any expert, but he knew money when he saw it, and Kaylie had money.

  You don’t deserve me.

  Her comment came back to him, and his grip tightened around his rifle. How many times had Valerie said that to him? And then she’d made him pay. Kaylie’s comment last night had been cut from the same cloth.

  Scowling, he turned and walked outside, leaving her behind.

  I won’t be dismissed.r />
  Her whispered comment reverberated in his mind as he opened the front door. One thing he knew: Valerie never in her life would have come out to this cabin to search for her friend’s murderer. She’d have hired the best, but she never would have gotten her own hands dirty.

  Kaylie had courage, depth of character. Yeah, she wore diamonds. And she disdained everything about him, exactly as Valerie had.

  He stepped out onto the porch and yanked the door shut behind him.

  Not that it mattered what Kaylie was like. He knew enough. He’d made the mistake once before of trying to make a woman like Kaylie into more than she was, and he still paid the price.

  So had his baby.

  A black anger closed in on him at the memory, and Cort stomped down the steps and into a frigid downpour. He embraced the icy rain. He let it drive into his skin and wipe away the memories he hated. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Kaylie and how good it had felt last night when he’d rolled over on top of her. He had no willpower when it came to her body.

  He slogged into the soggy snow. Another day of rain and the snow would be gone, along with any chance of following the snowmobile tracks.

  Already, it would be almost impossible. Too many spots where the snow was already melted to the ground.

  Cort should have stayed that first night to find the bastard. Should have fought him in the snow right then. But Kaylie’s big brown eyes and her vulnerability…She’d turned him soft in a split second.

  And now the cost was Jackson’s killer on the loose, and the monster was stalking Kaylie.

  Less than a day, and she was already cutting off Cort’s balls.

  Best thing to do was to shut her out of his mind. Quit thinking of her as a woman or a person. The sex? Yeah, it was great, and that was as far as it went.

  The rest? Leave it behind.

  He stalked through the slush, getting more annoyed by the minute as he looked at all those snowmobile tracks crisscrossing each other. The bastard had been toying with them last night. Amusing himself.

  A game.

  Why hadn’t he killed Cort right away? He hadn’t hesitated to kill Jackson.