Royal Dick

by Melinda Minx

  Hunter sighs. “She cares about you, too, Elise.”

  “In her own twisted way, I guess.”

  “She thinks she’s protecting you. She’s mostly angry with me.”

  “She was pretty angry with me before I left, Hunter.”

  “Well,” I say. “Let’s do what we can for her. If anything, it will be worth it to stick it to Gideon Fleischmann.”

  “Fuck that guy,” I say, laughing. “Ewww!”

  “What?”

  “I just got a really gross mental image.”

  Hunter’s face scrunches up, and he laughs. “Thanks, I just got the same image. Definitely gross.”

  He gets up and grabs his clothes. “I do have to go now, though.”

  “So what did you figure out?”

  “I figured out how Fleischmann found out about us. It’s time for some payback.”

  11

  Hunter

  “Meet for lunch today?” I text to Dash.

  I’m already at the restaurant. I expect he’s nearby.

  “Yeah, I can be there in five.”

  As expected.

  I plant the recorder right under the table, near his side. I need to make sure I get everything he says recorded clearly.

  I order a whiskey, down it, and order another. I want to look a bit unhinged.

  When Dash arrives, I’m on my third drink. My hair is still disheveled from being with Elise, and the bags under my eyes are from real exhaustion.

  “You look like shit, man!” Dash says, sitting down. “I heard what happened...tough break, man.”

  I raise an eyebrow to him. “You heard pretty fast, huh?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “I got an ear on Sencorp, I have to so I can check out the names you gave me. I heard a few hours ago.”

  I down the rest of my drink and glare at him. I already know that Dash is working for Gideon--he’s the only person who knew about Elise--but I want him to feel like I’m only just now piecing it together. Like I’m drunk and pissed off and suspicious, but not quite certain.

  “Who did you hear it from?” I ask. “And when?”

  “I heard about the board meeting,” Dash says. “Harsh fucking stuff. At least you can get divorced, though, huh?”

  “The board meeting hasn’t gone public yet,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him. “So who exactly told you?”

  “I gotta’ protect my sources, man! But it was someone I paid off. Come on, you know how I operate.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I thought I did, at least.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Only one person knew about Elise and me,” I say. “So I’m just wondering how it got out.”

  “Someone must have seen you,” Dash says. “Why the hell would I tell anyone? You’re telling me no one from the club that night saw you guys?”

  “No one in there knew who the fuck she was. Just some girl. You’re sounding awfully defensive, Dash.”

  “You’re accusing me of shit I didn’t do! Of course I’m defending myself.”

  I stare down into my empty glass. “Sorry, man, you’re right. I’m just looking for someone to blame, I guess. I just really don’t understand how he found out. We were careful.”

  I haven’t yet eliminated the chance that someone from the club saw us, or a photo got out, or maybe it was even the fucking Uber driver. I just need Dash to implicate himself. On tape.

  “There’s plenty of ways Gideon could have found out, man…”

  I don’t even hear the rest of what he says. He’s just implicated Gideon--and himself--into the recorder. I never told him that Gideon was the one who knew, and Gideon’s entire confused old man routine would never lead Dash to assume it was Gideon. The only reason Dash would say Gideon’s name now is if Dash is the one who told him.

  “How much did Gideon pay you?” I say, cutting him off.

  “What?” Dash says, throwing up his hands. “Why would--?”

  I reach across the table and grab him by the neck. I squeeze, choking him.

  Everyone around us freezes and stares. “Someone call the police!”

  I squeeze harder. “Dash, if you don’t fucking tell me, I will kill you right here. I’ve got nothing to lose.”

  Everyone gawks, but no one has the balls to actually try to stop me. A guy my size choking someone in a packed restaurant is not someone you want to mess with.

  Dash raises a hand, and I let off his throat just enough for him to speak. “More than you!” he croaks.

  I let go, and he gasps for air.

  Everyone is staring at us in stunned silence.

  “Sir!” the manager says, coming up to me. “The police are coming, you need to leave.”

  I glare at Dash.

  “It’s fine!” Dash says, wheezing. “I won’t press charges…”

  “You both need to leave,” the manager says, furious.

  I turn back to Dash. “How much did Gideon Fleischmann pay you, Dash?”

  “Gideon caught me snooping on him! Alright?” Dash says. “He told me if I had dirt on you, he’d pay me double whatever you were paying me, every year! It’s nothing personal, but I couldn't turn down that kind of cash!”

  “Now!” the manager says. “You need to leave!”

  I slide my hand under the table and grab the recorder. I stand up and reach for my wallet.

  “Forget your bill!” the manager snaps nervously. “Just leave!”

  I slide the recorder into my pocket and walk out of the restaurant. Now I’ve got something on Gideon Fleischmann. If there’s any hint that he intentionally worked to bring down Sencorp, he’ll get blasted for insider trading, or whatever other angle he has to profit off of Sencorp’s demise. I won’t directly be able to link blackmailing me to wanting Sencorp to fail, as he could just claim he hated my guts and wanted me gone.

  But showing this to Nadine and the other board members will be enough to put them on the right track--to get them to suspect Fleischmann. The guy who never has his hands directly on anything will be blown wide open as the puppet master that he is.

  Dash glares at me. “It wasn’t personal, you fuck, but now it is!”

  I roll my eyes at him and turn my back as I walk away.

  When I get back to my apartment, Elise is already gone.

  I was hoping to get back into bed with her, but she probably went to go smooth things over with her mom.

  I sigh. I should have known it would come to this. There was no way to stop it, though, not after that first night together. It’s not like I really regret it. I regret the whole shitstorm that hit because of it, but there’s no way I regret being with Elise. I’ll be able to smooth this all over soon enough. The difficulties now are just the price I have to pay for happiness.

  I laugh to myself. Happiness. Who would have thought I’d ever really think in those terms? Before Elise, it was all about success and status. I fucked women to make myself feel good, but happiness is about a lot more than making yourself feel good. Elise taught me that, even if she wasn’t trying to. That’s just who she is.

  And that’s why I absolutely cannot fuck this all up. If I destroy her shot at Sencorp, and her Mom’s career, then how much happiness am I really bringing her?

  I sit down at my computer and start typing--outlining everything I can possibly think of for Nadine, Elise--and the rest of the interns--to do. Now I have to be the puppet master.

  Gideon and I are going to fight a shadow war with each other. Neither of us can see each other, but we’re fighting face-to-face either way.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see the folder that Dash originally gave me on Gideon on my desk. I grab it and flip it open. “I’m coming for you, fuck head.”

  Then my eyes catch one passage from Dash’s report: “Fleischmann has no underground connections. He seems to be strictly a white-collar criminal. Any blowback you suffer for messing with him would be strictly above the belt and legal--lawsuits and other legal pressure--no physical threats.”
>
  Dash’s report was all bullshit. Gideon recruited him before he delivered the report to me. Gideon’s first move was to blackmail me--not to sue me--he very well could have the kind of connections that lead to physical violence.

  I grab my phone and call Elise.

  12

  Elise

  When Hunter leaves, I decide to take a shower. I stand under the luxurious, warm water for what feels like ages. I don’t want to get particularly clean--if anything, I hate to wash the scent of Hunter off of me--but I’m fucking tired, and the hot water loosens up all my tense muscles and breathes some life into my weary bones.

  When I turn off the water, I’m still tired, but I no longer feel exhausted.

  I wrap a towel around my hair and head into the kitchen to find something to eat. My phone vibrates on the marble countertop.

  I look to see if it’s Hunter, but it’s Mom.

  I sigh. I’ve already heard an earful from her, but if I’m going to do what Hunter asked of me, I’ll need to mend things with Mom as soon as possible.

  I grab the phone.

  “Yeah?”

  “Celia...please come home.”

  “Last time we spoke you told me not to.”

  I hear a long sigh from the receiver. “I know, I was angry. I didn’t really mean it. I’m not mad at you.”

  “You’re just mad at him.”

  “Of course I am, he took advantage--”

  “He didn’t, Mom. It was totally mutual.”

  “God,” she says, her voice suddenly flaring with anger. “Look,” she says, now more calm. “I’m not saying you aren’t an adult, but you do lack experience with men, and--”

  “Your marriage wasn’t even real, Mom. I’m sorry that we messed up things with Sencorp, but we were both really…”

  I can’t think of how to phrase it. Nothing I say will really sound convincing.

  “Just come home, Celia, please.”

  “Alright,” I say. “I’ll be over in, like, thirty minutes.”

  “See you.”

  I hang up and head back to the bathroom. I remove the towel and comb my hair. I’m hungry, but I decide to skip the snack. Mom sounded like she was in a much better mood now, and I’d rather go home while she’s still feeling forgiving.

  I get dressed and go out to the elevator. When I reach the street, it’s already dark out. I realize I didn’t even leave Hunter a note, so I take out my phone and start to text him.

  “Elise?” The voice is somewhat familiar.

  I look up and see the guy who was with Hunter when we first met at the bar. I can’t remember his name. All I remember was that it was kind of a goofy name.

  “Oh, hey,” I say. My go-to for when I don’t remember someone’s name.

  “Dash,” he says, pointing to his chest. “Remember?”

  “Oh,” I say, smiling. “Yeah. Sorry I can’t stay to talk, but I’m sort of in a hurry…”

  “How’s Hunt?” Dash asks.

  “Uh,” I stammer. My gut reaction is that I shouldn’t tell him, but that’s probably just because I’m so used to keeping everything secret.

  “He’s good,” I say.

  Dash throws his scarf over his shoulder and gestures forward. “Don’t let me stop you, I can tell you’re in a hurry.”

  I see his eyes look up over my shoulder, and they widen. I suddenly get a really bad feeling, and a big knot forms deep in my gut. I’m afraid to look backward, which tells me that I should look backward.

  I start to turn my head, but I feel a fat meaty hand grab my shoulder from behind, and it pulls my body into a huge solid chunk of a man. He pulls me against his chest so that I can’t turn my head to see him, and Dash keeps smiling as if we’re having a totally pleasant conversation.

  I feel a sharp prick at the back of my neck--a needle--and the last thing I remember is my head feeling incredibly light and my vision fading to nothing.

  13

  Hunter

  The phone rings, but she doesn’t answer.

  “Fuck!”

  I go into the bathroom to splash water on my face, and the room is still humid. She must have just taken a shower. If her phone was dead or if she was on the train, it would just go straight to voicemail.

  I text her. “Please call me back when you see this. Want to make sure you’re okay.”

  I try calling again, and it rings out.

  I grab my coat and rush outside. I get a cab, which will be faster than having to get my car out of the garage and park it outside Nadine’s building.

  Nadine will not be happy if I show my face there, but I have to make sure Elise is safe. That’s all that matters.

  I try calling her one more time--she hasn’t answered my text--as I enter the elevator. It rings out again.

  By the time I reach Nadine’s building and exit on her floor, my palms are sweaty and I’m nearly in full panic mode. I try to imagine knocking on the door and seeing Elise answer to calm myself, but my brain keeps imagining the worst case scenario.

  I reach the door and knock hard. Thump thump thump.

  The door swings open almost immediately. Nadine.

  She looks hopeful, and the moment she sees my face, I see her expression shift straight to disappointment, and then to full anger.

  “You asshole,” she sneers. “What the hell are you doing--?”

  “Is Elise here?” I ask. I don’t have time for arguing.

  “You’ve got nerve, Hunt--”

  “Is she here, Nadine? I’m worried, she’s not answering her phone.”

  Nadine’s eyes widen, and she shakes her head. “She’s not here. She was supposed to be here over thirty minutes ago. I figured she was just…”

  Nadine shudders and looks at me. Then she furrows her brows. “So you don’t know where she is?”

  I step past her and inside. “She was at my place when I left, and she told you she was coming here?”

  “Yes,” Nadine says. “Maybe she’s just...I don’t know, maybe her phone is off? Or she lost it?”

  “Look, Nadine,” I say. “I had Gideon Fleischmann checked out, but the guy I hired was actually working for him, and--”

  She scoffs. “Really pro move there, Hunt.”

  “Nadine,” I say, voice flat. “I don’t have time for this shit. Elise is all that matters now, can you agree to that?”

  She nods.

  “I’m worried that Gideon is with the kind of people I used to run with.”

  “Oh...Jesus.”

  Nadine’s face turns white and she collapses onto the couch.

  The house phone starts to ring. We both look at it wide-eyed.

  Nadine rushes toward the phone.

  “Don’t tell them I’m here,” I say.

  Them. I’ve already subconsciously admitted to myself that she’s been taken. I pray that it’s just Elise calling Nadine, saying she lost her phone and stopped to get food. But my gut says otherwise.

  Nadine picks up the phone and locks eyes with me. I can see from her face--from the way every muscle in her face scrunches up in agony--that it’s not Elise’s voice.

  “Don’t hurt her,” Nadine says, “or I swear to God, I’ll--”

  She bites her lip.

  I walk quietly up toward her and move my ear toward the receiver. I breathe as quietly as possible.

  “...and if you tell anyone, a single fucking person, I’ll slit her throat. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” Nadine says. “I won’t tell anyone. I swear. Just give me my baby back--”

  “Do what you are ordered, and you’ll get her back.”

  The line goes dead.

  “Fuck!” Nadine shouts, slamming the phone onto the table and it falls to the floor. The case and battery both pop out and slide across the floor. “Mother fucking shit! This is your fucking fault, Hunt!”

  She looks at me, channeling every last ounce of rage at me.

  “I’ll fix it,” I say.

  “How?” she asks. “How the fuck
can you fix this? They want me to run the company into the ground, and I’ll fucking do it, what else is there to do?”

  I take in deep breaths, then say in as level a voice as I can manage, “Nadine...once you do what they want you to, what reason do they have to give her back?”

  “We have nothing, Hunt. Fucking nothing! She could be anywhere in the city...she could be in a van on her way to God knows where. What are you going to do? Ask some of your washed-up criminal buddies to go search all the warehouses with you? The only option we have is for me to do exactly what they want me to. Give them no reason to--”

  I pull out the recorder and hit play.

  “Listen,” I say.

  She listens.

  “So it is Gideon,” she says. “And what the fuck do we do with that recording?”

  “It’s leverage,” I say. “What do you think would happen if we played this to the other board members?”

  I see the gears in Nadine’s head starting to turn, but then she shakes her head. “No, Hunt, he might just get mad and kill her.”

  “I contact my guy,” I say. “The guy in this recording, and tell him that either he helps me get Elise out, or I play this tape to Gideon.”

  “What?” Nadine says, looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot. “You want to give up our most valuable leverage to tip off Gideon’s goon?”

  “I know this guy, Nadine, he’s a totally self-interested, mercenary shit stain. If we played this tape to Gideon, we’d probably never see Elise again, but Gideon would kill Dash, too, for blabbing on tape. Once I find out where Elise is, I go in and rescue her myself, then we take Gideon down.”

  “I should just call the police,” Nadine says. “This is fucking insane.”

  My phone vibrates, and I grab it. It’s supposedly a text from Elise. A trick. I hold the phone up to Nadine.

  “Hey, Hunt,” Nadine reads out. “I need to be alone for a while. I’m going to go stay with a friend...I need time away from you and Mom. I need to think.”

  “They...they don’t really have her?” Nadine asks.

  “No,” I say. “It’s a fake text. They don’t want me to know she’s been taken. That’s why they told you not to tell anyone. They fear me. As they should.”