Faux Pas

by Shannon Esposito

  ‘Be there in twenty.’

  By the time I finished walking our six canine guests in the ‘gardens’ out back and stashing Buddha in one of the suites with his lunch, Hope’s black Jaguar was waiting behind the security golf carts.

  She grabbed me as I slid in and squeezed me tight. ‘Thanks, Elle, I’m so scared.’

  ‘Hey.’ I patted her back. ‘Everything’s going to be fine.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She sniffed. ‘First we lose Jelly-Belly and now this. What if we’re cursed?’

  ‘Jelly-Belly had a good long life, Hope. I know you miss him but losing him last month wasn’t a curse, it’s just life.’ Pulling back, I grabbed her face in both hands and stared into her watery eyes. ‘And as for this mess, we both know Ira didn’t do anything wrong so let’s just hold on to that, OK?’

  ‘You’re right.’ She blew out a deep breath. ‘You’re so right.’ She smoothed down her glossy, brown bob and threw the car into drive. ‘Come on. Let’s go to the resort spa until Ira calls. I need some therapy.’

  I would have settled for a meal, since I had lost my breakfast, and a glass of Cabernet to calm my nerves. But Hope had developed quite the taste for being pampered since marrying Ira. Don’t get me wrong, she truly did love the guy. She just enjoyed the perks of his money, too. I couldn’t really blame her.

  We ended up side by side at The Nail Bar at the Country Club Resort, our feet resting in hot, bubbling water; our backs being massaged and kneaded by the large leather chairs we sat in.

  Just throw some toad legs and witch’s wart and we could cast a spell to bring back Celeste. Clearly I was getting delirious.

  I glanced at Hope. She was clutching her Swarovski crystal-encrusted phone like a lifeline. My heart hurt for her. ‘Hey, Hope, don’t you guys have an anniversary coming up?’

  She nodded absent-mindedly. ‘Yeah. We’ve got a trip booked to Greece at the end of the summer.’ She threw me an attempted smile. ‘I hope this doesn’t mess up our plans.’

  ‘It won’t,’ I assured her. A petite, young lady with silky, dark hair arrived and lifted one of my feet out of the hot water. Her eyes crinkled in greeting above the mask. I returned the smile. ‘I’m sure it’ll all get straightened out soon.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Hope shook her head. ‘What if the police tell him not to leave town?’

  I shook my head and gave her what I hoped was an encouraging smile. It felt forced. ‘They only do that in movies. Besides, it’s not going to do us any good to speculate until we find out more … like how she died. We both know her Botox appointment had nothing to do with her death.’ We did, right? The girl stopped scrubbing my heel vigorously with a pumice stone and glanced up at me. I forced another smile and then turned my attention back to Hope. ‘Let’s just try to relax until Ira calls, OK?’

  She nodded and then checked her phone. I stared at the fish tank in front of us. It ran the entire length of the room and held the most brightly colored fish I’d ever seen, giving some professional aquariums I’d seen a run for their money. I pushed down the panic bubbling its way up into my chest. Maybe it was just the fact I saw my first dead body today, but I didn’t have a good feeling about any of this.

  ‘You like the caviar?’

  I stared at the girl, my brain trying to switch from death to caviar. ‘I’m not hungry, thank you.’ I mean, I was hungry, but not for fish eggs. Nice of her to ask though.

  Hope chuckled for the first time since she’d picked me up. ‘For your feet, Elle. They do a caviar mask and massage.’

  Staring at my friend, I tried to process her words but was having a hard time. ‘Why?’

  She shrugged. ‘It has a lot of protein. Supposedly your body absorbs it and plumps up your skin.’

  That’s it. I was officially confused. ‘So, she wants to use fish eggs to give me fat feet?’

  Hope stifled a laugh as she nodded.

  I turned my attention back to the young girl now massaging my calves with fingers that felt like iron bars. ‘No fish eggs. Thank you.’

  ‘Elle?’

  I rolled my head toward Hope. ‘Yeah?’

  Her smile was gone. ‘What if it was a mistake? What if Ira did something wrong in the procedure. Even if it was an accident, someone is still dead. He would be devastated, and he’d lose his license to practice. He’d have no future. We’d have no future.’

  I reached over and grabbed her hand. ‘Don’t worry. If you guys lose everything and can’t afford to come to these fancy places that give you fat feet with fish eggs, I will torture your feet and paint your toes ugly shades of eggplant for you.’

  ‘Hey!’ Hope tried to look indignant through her tears. ‘Don’t make fun of my purple fetish. Because if you want to go there …’

  ‘No.’ I held up my hands in surrender. ‘You’re right. Fetishes should never be brought into a fair fight.’ After a few beats, I said, ‘In all seriousness though, you don’t really believe Ira could make a deadly mistake like that, do you? You know Ira is the best at what he does and obsessive about safety.’

  Hope wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘No. You’re right. I know Ira isn’t capable of being that careless. I’m just worried.’ She nodded. ‘Thank you, Elle. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m so glad Dad and I moved to that crappy, little neighborhood of yours in eighth grade.’

  This had us giggling more than it should have. One of those kinds of giggle fits that are basically a tension release valve for your soul and involve tears.

  Finally I sighed. ‘Me too, Hope. Me, too.’

  My second foot was getting its coating of NYC Mystic Pink polish when Hope’s phone buzzed. I watched her face grow paler as she quietly listened. After a moment she whispered, ‘I love you, too.’ Then she turned to me, her doe-caught-in-the-headlights eyes glistening with tears.

  I leaned toward her. ‘What did he say?’

  ‘They told him not to leave town.’

  FOUR

  By the time Hope had finished her ‘therapy’ with a good dose of shopping and treated us to a five-course dinner, night had fallen and so had my resolve as she begged me to help get to the bottom of Celeste’s death. I wasn’t sure how in the world I could help, but I couldn’t deny my best friend anything … especially with a stomach full of rock oysters and crème brûlée cheesecake. Besides, she was right, I was kind of already in the middle of it seeing as she died at my place of employment.

  When she dropped me back off at the Pampered Pup Spa & Resort, the security golf carts were gone. I hoped that meant so was Celeste’s body.

  Hope grabbed my arm as I opened the car door. Her voice cracked as she held up her pinky. ‘Swear you’ll help Ira?’

  Nodding, I wrapped my pinky around hers. ‘Pinky swear.’ This had been our ritual since eighth grade and was like a blood oath to us … without the need for actual blood. I hugged her. ‘Now go get some rest.’

  She swiped at a tear that had broken free. ‘Thanks, Elle.’

  ‘Hey, Marvin.’ I gave the guard a tired wave. ‘Did Rita go home for the night?’

  He nodded, shifting his substantial weight from one foot to the other. He had to be exhausted. I hoped his shift was over soon. ‘Yes ma’am. All clear in there.’

  ‘What about Maria? Was she OK?’

  Marvin’s cheeks sagged as he nodded. ‘She had stopped crying by the time the police were done questioning her. She just needs some time to process it. We all do, I reckon.’

  I nodded my agreement. ‘So, what did she say happened exactly?’

  ‘Well, apparently she had prepared the mudbath and then gone upstairs to fetch Princess from the suite. When she came back down about ten minutes later, she found Miss Green like that, with the tub pulled over and mud everywhere. Said she knew she was already dead by Princess’s reaction. The dog was terrified, jumped out of her arms, slipped and scampered through the mud to hide in the corner, away from the body. She screamed and you know the rest.’

&nbs
p; ‘I do. Unfortunately.’ We shared a tired sigh. ‘Just going to pick up Buddha then. You get some rest yourself.’

  ‘Night, Elle.’

  Buddha was stretched out on the bed amidst bone-shaped pillows when I entered the room. His stubby little tail was the only thing that moved when he saw me. The urge to collapse next to him was strong. But, I had promised Mom I’d stop at the grocery store on my way home.

  ‘Come on, lazy bones. Time to go.’ I scratched his belly and then clipped the lead on to his harness. He groaned like an old man as he hoisted himself off the bed, giving me one last sad sack look. ‘I know. Me too.’

  I stopped by the mudbath room on my way to the elevator, just out of curiosity. Sure enough, it was cleaned up and already back to normal. The ladies who worked here were scarily efficient. I stared at the polished Mexican-tile floor, feeling a wave of sadness wash over me. No trace of death remained. No trace of Celeste remained. She was just … gone. ‘May you find peace wherever you are, Celeste.’ I wondered where Princess was staying tonight. I’d have to find out tomorrow.

  The elevator doors opened up into the parking garage. The spa employees had assigned parking spaces and guests could also pay to have their own space close to the elevator. One thing I’ve learned from working on Moon Key: everything was available for a price.

  During summer days, this popular second level of the parking garage was usually about half-full. During season all three garage floors would be packed. During both seasons in the evening it was dark, eerily quiet, and stale from the lack of air flow. I hurried Buddha to the end row and my personal parking space where my rusty, blue VW Bug waited silently like a discarded remnant of the seventies. I always left the convertible top down here, not something I dared to do at home.

  The passenger door creaked as I pulled it open and Buddha hoisted himself into the front seat with a grunt. The car noticeably sunk. ‘I think we need to cut back on some of those treats, big guy.’ I kissed him affectionately on the nose as I buckled him in his harness, not really upset he had put on a few pounds in the last nine months. Much better than the skin and bones he was when I found him five years ago. He glanced up at me with hopeful brown eyes and licked his jaw, recognizing the word ‘treat’. I shook my head as I rounded the car to my side. If people only knew how smart dogs really were.

  I was on autopilot as I slid into the driver’s seat, started the car with a few twists of the key in the ignition and slowly backed out of the space.

  Crunch!

  I hit the brakes, coming out of my thoughts with a jerk. Good grief, what now? I hoped whatever I just ran over didn’t puncture a tire. A new tire was not in my budget. Forcing my tired bones back out of the car, I squatted beside the car to check.

  What the …? Glass? Who would leave glass in the parking garage? My irritation and fatigue were reaching their limits. Lowering myself to my knees, I carefully picked up a piece of the crushed glass flattened by my back tire. A white label held some of the pieces together. As I read it, a cold chill crept up my spine.

  ‘Botulinum toxin type A.’ Botox.

  Standing slowly, I glanced around the parking deck. Somewhere in my tired brain, a connection was trying to form. Celeste. Her Botox appointment before her death. Did this have something to do with it? Finding Botox here tonight seemed too much of a coincidence.

  ‘Mommy will be right back,’ I said to Buddha. I could hear him whimper as I quietly padded back toward the elevator, where the rich usually paid for parking. After nearly reaching the elevator I stopped and stared at the sign above an empty space: RESERVED FOR CELESTE GREEN. I’m not sure why my gut had to be right so often. But, what did it mean? My tired brain was having trouble with logic. A noise on the deck above startled me, and I sprinted back to the car. Shoving the broken bottle into the glove box, I tore out of there in a puff of exhaust.

  Once we were off the ferry, over Memorial Causeway and navigating the familiar streets of downtown Clearwater, I eased off my white-knuckled clutch of the steering wheel and forced myself to relax. At a light, I dug a rubber band out of my bag and pulled my hair off my damp neck and forehead. The air conditioning didn’t work in my car so we counted on the movement to cool us off. In the summer months we were pretty much baked. Even in the evening, the humidity made the air feel like its main component was glue. Luckily Buddha didn’t complain much. I reached over and scratched beneath his ear, my fingers gentle on the bald spot where mange had left a permanent scar. I was careful to avoid his wide, panting mouth and foamy tongue. The only thing worse than being sticky from the humidity was being sticky from the humidity and covered in dog slobber.

  ‘Who’s my handsome boy?’ I spoke soothingly to him. He really was handsome. His body was all white except for a tan patch of fur right above his tail in the shape of Australia. His face was half white, half tan with expressive brown eyes and ears that flopped over at the tips. Luckily whoever docked his tail as a pup left those ears alone. I loved those ears. The light turned and I pressed the gas, feeling grateful for the millionth time that he was a part of my life.

  Pulling into the cracked cement driveway where weeds had found an undisturbed home, I stared at the small, lime green cracker-box house. ‘Crap.’ I sighed. ‘Buddha, you didn’t remind me to stop at Publix. Mom isn’t going to be happy with us.’ I unbuckled both our seat belts. ‘Come on, she’ll just have to understand it was a rough night.’

  ‘Mom?’ I called, throwing my bag and mat by the front door. I could hear the TV on in her bedroom. Buddha went to the kitchen to find his water bowel and left me to fend for myself. I knocked softly on her door and pushed it open a crack, a move I had performed so many times it was pretty much muscle memory. ‘You awake?’

  ‘You pick up the groceries?’ Her voice rose over the sound of gunfire on TV.

  I pushed on the door and walked deeper into the room. A half a dozen empty beer bottles littered her nightstand and an open box of Twinkies sat beside her on the bed.

  ‘I didn’t have time to stop tonight, sorry. Something really awful happened at the resort.’ I moved closer, ignoring the string of expletives she launched at me. ‘A woman died tonight, Mom.’ I sat down on the edge of her bed. ‘I saw her. She was laying there in our mudbath room. Dead. I had to talk to the police and then …’ I stopped. I didn’t want to get into the whole thing about Ira being involved. She hadn’t had anything nice to say about Hope’s choice for a husband in the first place. ‘There was just a lot to take care of.’

  She pulled her gaze away from the TV long enough to throw me a bloodshot look of disgust. ‘I knew when you got that job, it’d become more important to you than I am.’

  My body jerked as if she’d slapped me. ‘How could you say such a thing? That’s not fair.’ I felt tears prickling my eyes. My emotions were already raw from the day, and I knew I shouldn’t be taking the bait, but I couldn’t help it. Hurt morphed to anger in two point five seconds. My stomach clenched and blood roared in my ears. I felt all the tension of the day release with a snap. Standing up, I balled my hands into fists. ‘Without my job, you wouldn’t be able to lay here watching TV all day, drinking beer and eating Twinkies.’ I clamped my mouth shut, but it was too late. The words were out. There was no taking them back.

  The air in the room seemed to go still. The horror on my mom’s face as she turned to me made me want to crawl into a hole. Her cry of despair made Buddha peek his head in the room.

  ‘Is that what you think of me?’ she cried, tears already forging tracks down her puffy face. ‘I don’t need your money!’ She was breathing hard now.

  I needed to calm her down before she had a heart attack. I collapsed back on to the bed beside her. ‘Mom …’

  ‘No! You listen to me. I raised you all by myself. I didn’t have help from anyone!’ Her arms were swinging around now. I backed up so I didn’t get clocked … accidentally or not. ‘No man stuck around to help change your diapers or do your homework.’ I didn’t feel like this was
a good time to point out she had never helped me with my homework either. Or that I’d been paying most of the bills since I graduated from high school. I just sat there silently and let her rant. ‘So, if you think it’s too much to ask of you to help out the woman who gave birth to you and raised you, then by all means, get the hell out and find your own way in the world. I’ll be just fine.’

  I stared at her in disbelief. ‘You don’t mean that.’

  She crossed her arms. ‘I do. I don’t need nobody living in my house judging me.’

  I stood up like she’d pushed me off the bed. I had reached my limit. ‘You’re absolutely right, Mom. It’s nobody’s business but yours if you want to keep yourself holed up in this bedroom, destroying your arteries and liver while the house crumbles around you. Certainly not your daughter’s. The only person who has ever stood by you and wanted you to be happy!’ I pushed my hands through my hair with a growl of frustration. ‘I’m out of here. You know my number if there’s an emergency.’

  I stormed out, slamming her bedroom door. I heard something hard crash into the door behind my head and cringed. Probably a beer bottle. ‘Unbelievable.’

  Still in a white hot rage, I threw my clothes into a suitcase. As I squashed them down to make room for underwear and flip-flops, I realized most of my clothes were yoga clothes. Well, now that I wouldn’t be paying for Mom’s bills and groceries, I’d be able to get some real clothes. I stomped to the kitchen to get some grocery bags for my bathroom stuff and stopped at the sight of dishes in the sink and trash on the counter. Nope. I’m not cleaning that up any more. I yanked open the cupboard where I kept my stash of health food, tossed the items into two of the bags, pivoted and marched back to finish packing.

  With my life stuffed in the tiny back seat and Buddha once again strapped in, though looking a bit confused, I headed back to Moon Key. I’m sure Rita wouldn’t mind me crashing in a room with Buddha for a few days until I found a place.