DIRTY READS

by Scott Hildreth

  Ripp chuckled. “God damned sure did.”

  “Might need to take some time off fighting.” Ethan held his hands up. All of his knuckles were mangled terribly.

  “You’re gonna need some stitches,” Ripp said. “Or we can glue ‘em.”

  Ethan laughed. “I’ll get them stitched. And not by you.”

  He turned toward me. “Sorry about that.”

  “About what?”

  “How he treated you.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said. “And you took care of it. Good thing, I was gonna whip his Mohawk wearing ass.”

  “You better take care of those hands,” Ripp said.

  Terrance, the kid who cleaned the gym, pushed a mop and a bucket between us. “Clean up on aisle seven.”

  We all shared a laugh as he mopped up the blood.

  After he finished, he plopped the mop into the bucket and leaned against the handle. “What was that about?”

  “About a man who doesn’t know how to be respectful to a lady,” Ripp said.

  Ethan nodded. “What he said.”

  “If I was disrespectful to a lady, I’d be slapped so hard my grandkids will feel it. That’s what my pop tells me.”

  “Your pop sounds like a good man,” Ripp said.

  Terrance grinned and nodded his head. “Alright, then. Try and stay out of trouble.”

  After a few minutes of talking, we agreed Ethan needed to go to the minor emergency center for stitches.

  “I’m gonna go talk to Dekk,” Ripp said.

  “I’m driving him to the doctor,” I said.

  “Tomorrow,” Ripp said over his shoulder.

  Ethan and I walked to the door and I jokingly pushed it open for him. “Don’t want you any more banged up than you already are.”

  He stepped through the door, turned toward me, and chuckled. “I’m fine. Ten or twelve stitches and…”

  Out of nowhere, something hit him in the head. It came so fast it took me a minute to realize what had happened, but by the time my mind processed it, it was too late.

  He fell flat onto the asphalt.

  I rushed through the door. Tiny stood over him with crazy eyes and a baseball bat. Unconscious, Ethan lay on his back with his hands at his sides.

  Oh my God.

  Tiny raised the bat over his head.

  “No!” I yelled. “Don’t!”

  He glanced at me, grinned, and swung the bat down hard, crashing it into Ethan’s skull.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

  “Nooooo!” I cried.

  I fell to my knees and thrust myself over Ethan, protecting his body with mine. I raised my right arm in defense. “Please. Please,” I blubbered. “Don’t. You’re going to kill him.”

  I looked down. Ethan’s skull was split open. Blood was everywhere. I cradled his head in my hands. Someone came through the door and screamed.

  “Get Ripp,” I cried out. “And call 911. We need an ambulance. Hurry!”

  I reached into his bag, pulled out his sleeveless sweatshirt, and wrapped it around his bloody skull.

  And I cried like I had never cried before.

  THIRTY-TWO

  Jaz

  Day ninety.

  It wasn’t the way I wanted to meet Ethan’s parents, but I had very little choice. Dekk, Ripp, Kelsey, Ethan’s mother and father, his siblings, and a doctor were all in the waiting room.

  “There are so many factors, Mr. Halloway. The damage to the skull was severe, therefore the damage to the brain was severe. There are issues with secondary damage due to inadequate cerebral oxygenation, and we have no way of knowing the effects on a grand scale. It’s simply too early to tell.”

  “When will he be awake?” his father asked.

  His mother moved her hand away from her mouth. “He doesn’t know, William.”

  “He knows. He’s the doctor,” he growled. He turned away from Ethan’s mother and faced the doctor again. “When?”

  “I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “Right now, it’s not a matter of when. I don’t want to mislead you. It’s a matter of if. And an awfully big if.”

  Oh God.

  Ripp hugged me.

  The police had already arrested Tiny. It came as no shock to me that he had several warrants for his arrest. Personally, I wished the police hadn’t found him. Street justice, in my opinion, is best in some circumstances.

  This was one of them.

  I attempted to prepare myself for the worst, but couldn’t. Each time I tried to imagine Ethan dying, it caused me to start blubbering uncontrollably.

  Fighting didn’t matter. Championships didn’t matter. Money didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but having Ethan healthy and back in my arms.

  “Want to go get a coffee?” Ripp asked.

  “You hate coffee,” I said. “Ethan…”

  I started to say Ethan told me, but couldn’t even say his name. I bit into my lip, reached for Ripp’s hand, and nodded. Grateful that I had him not only as my trainer, but as a friend, I followed him as he turned toward the hallway.

  It seemed that there were three groups of people concerned with Ethan’s recovery. All of his friends, his siblings, and then his parents. They had no interest in mingling with us, talking to us, or sharing information. What little we had learned was from overhearing what the doctor said while speaking to his parents.

  Oddly, Ethan’s brother and sister were seated in another area of the waiting room altogether, on a couch. They seemed to have no interest in Ethan’s parents, us, or the doctor.

  I wanted it all to end, and everything to go back to normal.

  Ripp stomped down the hallway with my hand in his. I fought to catch up to him and recalled the first day of training when he all but dragged me into the sporting goods store. “Slow down.”

  “Sorry, Jaz,” he said. “I’m just mad I didn’t kill that motherfucker myself.”

  “That’s all you need to do. Kill someone else,” Dekk said. “Justice will be served. The security cameras got it all. That guy’s fucked.”

  “You uhhm. You…killed someone.”

  Ripp stopped. “I ain’t proud of it, but yeah. This fucktard did my sister real bad. Raped her. I went to his house, we got into it, and I broke his fuckin’ neck.”

  “Did you go to prison?”

  “Self-defense,” he said. “He pulled a gun.”

  “Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry about your sister.”

  He shrugged “Happily married now.”

  It surprised me, but it didn’t. Ripp seemed like the kind of guy that would do anything to protect the people he loved. To think of his sister being raped was awful. Realizing Ripp took care of the situation, and of the person who did it, however, was oddly satisfying.

  The four of us went to the cafeteria, bought drinks, and sat down. For some time, no one spoke.

  “The kid’s got a huge heart. That’ll get him through a lot,” Kelsey said, breaking the silence. “Damned good how he stood up for you. Show’s how much you mean to him. Now, it’s your turn. You’re a strong woman, Spaz. Stay strong. We’ll all get through this together.”

  I liked that Kelsey called me Spaz even when things were serious. It let me know the nickname he’d given me was more out of affection than out of spite.

  “I’ll be strong,” I said. “I don’t have a choice.”

  “None of us do,” Ripp said. “Every damned one of us is a fighter. It’s in our blood. Ethan included. We need to fight out here, and be strong for him. He’ll fight his own fight down the hall in ICU. I look at it this way: he’s sleepin’ right now. That fuck bubble hurt him real bad, and he just needs to sleep it off. Hell, as tough as he is, he probably ain’t hurt that bad.”

  I thought of Ethan’s skull, and how it was split open when the ambulance arrived. My stomach convulsed. I reached across the table. Rip extended his arm and grabbed my hand.

  I squeezed it in mine, once again grateful that I had him as a friend. While I stared blankly
off in the distance, I felt someone’s fingers against my other hand. I looked down. Kelsey had my hand in his, cupping it lightly.

  I gripped his hand in return.

  I glanced at Dekk.

  He didn’t speak, but simply gave me a nod of his head, grinned his shallow grin, and pulled his hood over his head.

  And I knew I was where I needed to be.

  With the only family I had.

  But it was all the family I needed.

  THIRTY-THREE

  Jaz

  Day ninety-three.

  Juggling work, training, and my visits to the hospital wasn’t easy. At least twice a day I made it to see Ethan, then worked and trained for the fight as I was able.

  I knew all three things were important, but in different ways. Upon waking up, if Ethan found out I’d given up on my title fight, he’d be pretty disappointed with me. That reason alone motivated me to continue training. I had to work to pay my rent and eat, so it was a necessity as well.

  Seeing Ethan, even as he slept his days away in a coma, remained the highlight of my day.

  The skin under his eyes was bruised terribly, as were his cheeks, and all of his pretty hair was gone. It wasn’t anything a hat couldn’t fix, so I bought him a stocking cap. I tried to find the good in it all, and thanked God that the man responsible for harming him was in custody. I also thanked God that Ethan was alive during every visit and every night before bed. In my prayers I explained that I’d settle for him the way he was if it was all I could get.

  Either way, I loved Ethan with all my heart, and I knew nothing could change the way I felt.

  I rode the elevator up to the seventh floor and came around the corner toward the nurse’s station. Technically, I wasn’t even supposed to be in Ethan’s room, because I wasn’t family. Dekk took care of that with a few phone calls, and once again I was grateful for my makeshift family.

  “Good morning, Jaz,” the nurse said.

  “Hi, Tracey.”

  I walked down the hallway and stepped through the open door leading into Ethan’s intensive care room. The constant beeping provided reassurance that he was alive and well. I leaned over the bed and kissed his cheek.

  “Good morning, Babe.”

  I sat down in the chair, opened the crossword puzzle book, and started the day’s puzzle.

  “Ready? Four letters. Broadway dud. That’s down. And across? Three letters. Mr. Franklin.”

  I lifted the pen to the page. “Let’s go with Ben for Mr. Franklin. So, four letters down, Broadway dud, and starts with a ‘B’. We’ll go with bomb. Okay. At the end of Bomb, we’ve got a good one. The clue is implore. So, what starts with a ‘B’ and has seven letters?”

  “Beseech?” I reached over and patted his leg. “Good answer.”

  “How’s the crossword comin’?” Kelsey asked as he walked through the door.

  “Good, thank you.”

  He patted me on the shoulder. “What time you working today?”

  “In about fifty minutes. At nine. I got a morning shift, and I’ll go until after dinner, but I don’t have to close.”

  “That’s good.”

  I studied him for a moment. “Are you wearing the same clothes you were wearing yesterday?”

  “I always wear a white tee shirt.”

  “But your white tee shirt doesn’t always have ketchup on the sleeve.”

  He looked at the sleeve, shrugged, and sat down. “Haven’t been home yet.”

  “You stayed all night?”

  “Right where you’re sittin’. Somebody’s got to be here if he wakes up. Can’t decide if his folks are too busy or don’t care. Don’t matter much, I suppose, as long as someone’s here.”

  I felt terrible for Kelsey. He loved each and every one of us, but he wasn’t about to admit it. Seeing how much time and effort he put into making sure Ethan had everything he needed was proof of his love for us all.

  On the second day, Kelsey went to the store and bought socks, claiming that the socks they’d provided were too tight and might cut off circulation. Later in the day he went to the CVS store and bought lotion, stating that Ethan’s skin was drying out from the dime store bullshit the hospital provided.

  When he learned of my idea to read the crossword puzzles, he provided all the reassurance I needed to convince me it would keep Ethan alert and not allow his brain to fade away to nothing.

  “Thank you for caring,” I said.

  “So we’re passing out thanks today for bein’ human? Well thank you, too, Spaz,” he grunted.

  “You know what I mean.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t guess I do. I’m just a bored old man. What else am I gonna do?”

  “When you’re at the gym, you always stomp off and say ‘I’ve got shit to do.’ So, what? Now you’re bored?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  I folded the crossword puzzle and glared at him.

  He glared back.

  After a lengthy glare-off, I gave up. “You win.”

  “At what? Tryin’ to get a teeny bopper to mind her own business?”

  “I’m not a teeny bopper. I’m twenty-five. You know it, you were at my birthday.”

  “I’ve got boots older than you,” he said.

  “I’m sure you do.”

  “If he’s still here during the fight, we need to make sure they’ve got it playin’ in here. Remind me to ask the nurse about pay-per-view. Can’t have him in here without being able to hear it.”

  “I’ll remind you. But I think he’ll be fine by then.”

  “Just in case,” he said.

  I hadn’t really thought about it, but at some point I was going to have to leave Ethan to go to Vegas for the fight. In fact, we’d all be gone. I thought about if for a moment, and decided I didn’t like thinking about it at all, so I stopped.

  I glanced up. Kelsey was fast asleep in the chair. I looked at my watch. It was past time for me to leave, so I stood and walked toward the door. I hesitated at the threshold and turned around.

  “Kelsey,” I whispered.

  “Kelsey.”

  He didn’t budge.

  Good.

  I tip-toed up behind him, bent over, and kissed him on the head.

  We love you, old man.

  THIRTY-FOUR

  Jaz

  Day ninety-nine.

  Ethan had been asleep for a little more than a week without making any measurable progress. I learned that the entire thing was nothing but a glorified waiting game, and that when it came right down to it, the doctors knew absolutely nothing useful.

  There were no additional tests. No one prodded his brain with a probe, nor did they place him back into the MRI machine. Neither a doctor or a nurse came to stretch his fingers and toes to make sure they still moved. They didn’t work his legs back and forth.

  And they only bathed him once a week.

  I hated that he had to be there, and wished I could take him home with me, but I couldn’t. They didn’t actually care about him, and realizing it bothered me.

  “We’ve got six days,” Ripp said. “Six.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you think you’re ready?”

  “As ready as I’m going to get. I’m not going to learn anything in six days, am I?”

  He shrugged. “Suppose not.”

  “I’m not going to be bigger, stronger, or faster, am I?”

  “Doubt it.”

  “So, I think I’m ready.”

  “I wish things were different with him. You know that, right?”

  “I know.”

  “Tell you the truth, I wish I would have kicked the fuckers ass like I was goin’ to,” he said. “If I would have beat his ass, Ethan would be right here, right now. He wouldn’t be in that fuckin’ hospital, that’s for sure.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “I didn’t do it, but I could have prevented it. Next time? I’ll do what I know is right.”

  “Ethan was defending my ho
nor. Is that wrong?”

  He shook his head. “No. But I was doing the same thing.”

  “You and me? We’re not together. So you were just…I don’t know. Just--”

  “It’s a man’s responsibility to stand up for any woman who is being mistreated, no matter who she is.”

  “You really think so?”

  He shook his head. “Know so.”

  With his forehead wrinkled and his eyes narrow, he looked angry. I suppose deep down inside, he felt no differently than I did. Thinking that there were two people who felt like me didn’t make me feel any better. I wouldn’t wish my feelings on anyone.

  I was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. I walked over to him and held out my gloves. He untied them, pulled them off, and tossed them on top of my bag.

  I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug. “I’m sorry you’re angry about all this. One of these days he’ll be fine, and we’ll all look back on it and…well…I don’t know. Maybe we’ll tell stories or something.”

  “Something,” he said. “We’ll do something.”

  “It’s the weekend. Can we quit so I can go up there?”

  He held me close for a long minute, then pushed his hands against my shoulders, causing me to lean away from him a little bit.

  He gazed down at me. “You go take care of him,” he said. “When it comes to this fight? I’ll take care of you. You’re ready, Jaz. As ready as you’re gonna get.”

  “Thank you. I just. I don’t know. I want to go give him a bath. Clean him up a little bit.”

  “Do whatever you’ve got to do,” he said.

  I thought about it for what seemed like forever, then decided to just ask. “Can I tell you anything?”

  He nodded. “Anything.”

  “Anything?”

  “What’d I just say? You can tell me anything,” he said.

  I really needed to hear it from someone. I was afraid if I didn’t I was just going to collapse and die. I prayed he would understand. I inhaled a shallow breath and sighed.

  “I love you, Ripp.”

  He grinned the cheesy Mike Ripton grin. “Shit. I love you, too, you little fucker.”

  It wasn’t what I had in mind, but there was no doubt in my mind that it was heartfelt.

  I reached for my bag. “Okay. I’m going to go see him, and then get some sleep.”