A Real Cowboy Loves Forever (Wyoming Rebels Book 5)

by Stephanie Rowe

  Ava grinned, and bounced on the bed.

  "Exactly." Maddox warmed to the story, the ideas beginning to flow now. "Of course, as soon as Susie left, Fluffy slipped out through the screen door and bounded straight into the yard."

  Ava rolled her eyes and shook her head, grinning.

  "What do you think Alfred did?" Maddox asked.

  Ava made a running motion with two fingers, and Maddox nodded. "Exactly. He ran after her, but she was already down the street, checking out everything. She ran right into the yard of the mean dog."

  Ava went still, staring at him, her eyes wide. She clutched Alfred to her chest tightly, and Maddox was pretty sure that she didn't even realize she was doing it. He glanced at Hannah, and she nodded, urging him to continue.

  Hoping he was doing the right thing, he went on. "Alfred was terrified. He ran to the hole in the fence and started barking at Fluffy to come back, but she ignored him. She just ran right across the yard to play with a dandelion under the window. Just when she reached the dandelion, the mean dog came around the side of the house. It saw Fluffy, and stopped, staring at the kitty."

  Ava moved closer to Maddox, her eyes wide as she stared at him, riveted by the story.

  "The mean dog was so much bigger than Alfred, and Alfred was terrified. He barked at Fluffy, and she looked up and saw the dog. She froze in terror, unable to move, even as the mean dog started running towards her. Alfred realized that Fluffy was too scared to run. She couldn't get away. There was no one to help her...except for Alfred. He didn't have time to be scared anymore. He had to save her! So, he squeezed through the hole in the fence and raced after the mean dog, who was thundering toward Fluffy. Just as the big dog reached Fluffy, Alfred got close enough. He lunged after the big dog and bit him right on the end of his tail!"

  Ava put her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.

  Maddox grinned. "The mean dog was so startled when he felt Alfred's little teeth poke him in the tail, that he jumped straight up in the air yelping in absolute terror. He jumped so high that he banged his head on a tree branch."

  Ava giggled, her eyes twinkling as she watched him.

  "When the big dog landed and saw little Alfred standing there growling, he realized that the tiny dog had bitten him. He realized that the little tiny dog was so powerful that he'd made the big dog smash his own head into the tree just with one little bite!"

  Ava burst out laughing, a beautiful, heartfelt laugh that he had never heard from her before. It made his heart leap, and he grinned at Hannah, who had tears in her eyes. He held out his hand to Hannah, and when she slipped her hand in his, he squeezed it before turning his attention back to Ava. "The big dog decided right then and there that little dogs were much scarier, and much more powerful than he had ever realized, especially Alfred. He immediately backed up, then turned and ran around the side of the house, and hid under the rosebushes. Alfred was so surprised, that he stood there for a full minute, waiting for the big dog to come back, but he never did. Finally, Alfred realized that by simply pretending to be big, brave, and strong, he had convinced the big dog that he was more powerful. All it took to make the danger go away was for Alfred to believe he was strong. That was all it took. Just his belief."

  Ava was riveted, her gaze steady on his face, listening to every word.

  "Alfred went over to Fluffy, picked her up by the back of her neck, and carried her out of the mean dog's yard. From that day on, every time Fluffy and Alfred passed the mean dog's yard, the mean dog always ran around to the back of his house, and hid under the rosebushes. Alfred became the hero of the neighborhood. Each time another dog had to pass the yard, Alfred would walk with them to show the mean dog that Alfred was their friend. Whenever the mean dog realized that that dog had Alfred's protection, he would stop bothering that one, too. Eventually, the mean dog had no one left to bark at, and he gave up. He decided that life was more interesting lying in the sun, and enjoying the roses, than it was scaring everybody else. He was happy, everyone was safe, and it had all happened because Alfred had decided one day to be brave, even though he didn't feel brave, and that was all it took for everything scary to simply disappear."

  Maddox finished the story, and silence fell in the bedroom. Ava studied him, and he could almost see her processing the story, and making it her own. After a moment, she nodded and looked down at Alfred. She lifted him so they were eyeball to eyeball, and she studied him carefully. Maddox saw her lips moving, and he knew that Ava was having a discussion with the dog. He glanced at Hannah, and saw her watching Ava with an expression of such love and emotion on her face, that his throat tightened.

  Ava might be scared, but she had a mom who loved her more than words could ever express, love which would always wrap around her and provide a buffer against all the crap that the world would throw at her.

  Ava finished her conversation, then snuggled back down in bed, nestling against Hannah. Hannah wrapped her arm around her daughter, kissed the top of her head, and then looked up at Maddox.

  He shifted, knowing that his role in the moment had ended. It was time for him to get up, and let the mother/daughter bonding happen. His chest tightened with regret as he reached for the blankets, surprisingly sad at having to extricate himself from the situation. He didn't want to get up. He wanted to stay there, in a world he didn't belong in, in a situation he was too rough for.

  But just as he went to flip the blankets back and get up, he felt a small hand wrap around his little finger. He looked down and saw Ava was holding onto him. His heart turned over. "I'm sorry, baby, but I need to go—" He stopped when Hannah encircled her fingers around his wrist, and he looked quizzically at her.

  She smiled gently at him. "Stay, Maddox. We both need you."

  He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay badly. But he couldn't mislead them. He couldn't make them count on him when he wasn't dependable. "Chase will be here in the morning. I'll be on my way after that."

  He didn't miss the flash of pain across Hannah's face, and guilt tore through him. What the hell had he been thinking, to make love to her the night before he was going to leave? Guilt ripped through him, and he rolled onto his side to face her, careful not to squish Ava, who was still between them. He stroked his fingers down Hannah's jaw, searching her face. "I didn't mean for last night to happen," he said. "It was selfish and cruel to make love to you when I knew I had to leave. I don't want to make it worse by staying here with the two of you, knowing that I have to leave."

  Hannah put her fingers over his lips, silencing him. He glanced down at Ava, and saw that her eyes were closed, and her breathing was steady and even. She was already asleep, her fear eased by his story. Somehow, that made a little bit of the tension in his chest ease. Yeah, maybe he'd been a selfish asshole to make love to Hannah, but by giving Ava peace, he'd done something right, at least one thing right in his life.

  "Maddox." Hannah's soft voice drew his attention back to her, and he dragged his gaze off the sleeping child to look at the woman he'd already betrayed.

  "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make love to you. I have no excuse, but if it's worth anything to you, making love to you was the most beautiful moment I've ever had in my life. I will hold it in my heart forever, as a gift, as a moment when I was able to experience the beauty in life that I don't deserve. I will treasure you always, and I will treasure that moment, and the memory of it always. You are an incredible woman, and you deserve every happiness, every gift, and every moment of joy that exists in this world."

  Tears filled Hannah's eyes, and she smiled, a smile so heartfelt that something inside him twisted. He didn't deserve to have her look at him like that, like he was special, like he was worthy. He didn't understand what she was seeing that made her look at him like that. "Hannah—"

  She put her fingers back over his lips and shook her head. "Listen to me, cowboy. I wanted tonight. I needed you. I needed to lose myself in your tenderness, your strength, and your kisses. You might not hav
e had many beautiful moments in your life, but I haven't either. I know the blizzard is over. I know you will never let yourself stay. I understand you, Maddox, and that's why I will never regret what happened."

  His throat tightened. "You deserve so much more than what I gave you—"

  She raised her brows. "More than beauty? More than reverence? More than the gift of feeling so safe that I could completely lose myself in what was between us? More than that?"

  He hesitated, unsure of himself in the shadow of such poetic words. "I did that for you?"

  Hannah sighed, and nodded at the sleeping child. "You do that for both of us, Maddox. I know you still see yourself as a monster, but you're not. You're that bright light of warmth that we both needed so desperately."

  He didn't know what to say to that. He truly had no idea how to respond. He wanted to be that for them. He'd stayed because he'd wanted to help them, but he hadn't really believed he could make a difference for them. "I helped?" He could barely even choke out the words, so desperate was he for the answer to be yes.

  Her face softened. "Yes, Maddox. You helped."

  He nodded, turning his head away at the sudden tightness in his throat. "I need to go."

  She stopped him with a gentle hand to his forearm, a touch that he could break away from so easily, and yet, at the same time, a touch that trapped him completely. "You don't need to leave yet. Stay with us the rest of the night. Give us both the gift of being able to sleep soundly for one night, one short night."

  He looked at her, and saw the earnestness on her face, the genuineness in her voice, and he realized then that he was truly able to offer them something beautiful, simply by his presence. His chest tightened, and before he even realized he was doing it, he nodded. "I'll stay."

  The smile that his response generated was so beautiful, that for a moment he forgot to breathe. He slid his hand through Hannah's hair, and leaned forward pressing a tender kiss to her mouth. Her lips tasted like an angel's whisper, and he knew he would never forget the sensation for as long as he lived. When he pulled back, his eyes flickered open, and their gazes met, held together by something so powerful that he knew he would be tied to this woman and her daughter for the rest of his life.

  For a split second, a fraction of a breath, he wondered what it would be like to wake up with them every day, and not return to his life. The image was so startlingly awe-inspiring that he immediately shut it down. As quickly as he had the thought, he let it go. He wasn't meant for this life. It would shatter him forever, completely, if he ever broke the trust of Hannah and Ava, and he knew that if he stayed, eventually his true self would come to light. It might be a nightmare that ripped him ruthlessly from his sleep. It might be some drunken bastard on the side of the street that triggered an old memory. It might even be something as simple as some asshole looking at Hannah the wrong way. He didn't know what it would be, but he knew that at some point, the darkness inside him would win, and he would see on Hannah and Ava's faces the same expression that he had seen on Beth's.

  There was no chance in hell he was doing that to them, or himself, because he knew he would never survive it.

  So, it would be just tonight. Just one, special, amazing night, with two incredible females who had fallen into his life so he could protect them during this little window of time during which fate had brought them together.

  With a deep breath, he allowed himself to slide back under the covers and stretch out on his side, facing Ava and Hannah. Ava rolled over and tucked her face against his chest. Hannah scooted after her daughter, nestling against Maddox, using his shoulder as a pillow, and entangling her legs with his, creating a cocoon around Ava with their bodies.

  Maddox pressed a kiss to Ava's head, then slid his finger under Hannah's chin and kissed her, this time, long and deep, until the emotions threatened to overwhelm him. When he finally released her, she smiled at him, then snuggled up against him and closed her eyes. Maddox encircled both of them in his arms, using his body to protect them from the outside world.

  He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of their breathing, feeling the warmth of being wrapped around them. They were relaxed, and Hannah was asleep within moments. The two of them, deeply asleep, completely trusting him to keep them safe.

  Maddox sighed deeply, unable to stop a feeling of deep, penetrating contentment from settling in his bones. His father may have been a bastard, and his childhood may have sucked on a lot of levels, but one thing it had given him were the skills to protect and guard those who needed him. He knew he was physically capable of defending Hannah and Ava against any threat that came their way, and he whispered a promise to both of them he would do whatever it took to keep them safe, to honor their faith in him.

  He had only a few hours before the sun would rise, snatching this moment away from him. But that meant that he had those few hours ahead of him, hours that would last him a lifetime.

  He took a deep breath, determined to etch every single second into his soul, so that he would remember it for the rest of his life.

  Chapter 17

  She was an idiot.

  Seriously.

  Of course, if there was anyone for her to be an idiot about, it was Maddox, but that just made it worse.

  Hannah sat at the kitchen table, her chin propped up on her hand, as she watched Maddox teach Ava how to make pancakes that looked like Alfred. He had made her a stool with a railing and pulled it up next to the stove, so that there was no way for her to reach the stove, or fall into it. But she was right next to him, watching what he was doing, pointing to the chocolate chips when he asked her what he should use to make the eyes.

  Hannah could not believe how kind he was. She had never met a man like him. Yes, the Harts had always taken care of her and Katie when they were young, but they had been homeless teenagers, not exactly the same as a man like Maddox. Watching Maddox take care of Ava made Hannah think of her time with the Harts. It had been the only time in her life, besides now, that she had felt the security of knowing that someone was there to protect her. If anyone from foster care or child services had come after her and Katie to separate them, and drag them back, the Harts would have found them, and helped them get away again. Even as kids, the Harts had been dangerous, loyal, and absolutely relentless in their protection of each other.

  She sighed, watching Maddox's smile as he followed Ava's directions on where to put the strawberry for the nose. Yes, Maddox definitely reminded her of Brody, with his quick smile, and his kindness, combined with his strength. Of course, a significant difference between them was that she had always thought of Brody as her brother, and never had the least bit of attraction to him on a physical level…but the same could not be said of how she felt about Maddox.

  Heat pooled in her lower body as she thought of last night with Maddox. Making love with him had been the most incredible experience of her life. He had freed her to completely open herself to what she was feeling, and what she wanted. He made it safe for her to reach out, to take what she wanted, and to turn herself over to him. She had loved every moment of it. And then the finale had been sleeping, with both her and Ava wrapped up in his incredibly strong arms. She had known then that the universe had given her that moment to help begin to heal the broken pieces of her heart, the pieces that had been broken for so long, that she hadn't even realized there were cracks.

  And now, the sun was shining. The blizzard was over. Real life was creeping back, inch by inch, minute by minute. She glanced out the window at the brilliant white snow glistening across the property. Even the ramshackle barn looked charming and wonderful when it was covered in all the snow. The sky was a brilliant blue, without a cloud to be seen, and all the branches of the trees were bent under the snow, making it look like a Christmas card from some fantastical, small New England town, where neighbors were best friends, children ran around outside without fear, and you were never alone, even if you wanted to be.

  In the distance, she could hear the low
hum of a chainsaw, and she knew that Chase and probably his brothers were working on the tree that protected her, Maddox, and Ava from the real world. At any moment, all this would be only a memory. And that was why she was an idiot, because she didn't want it to be a memory.

  Somehow, her heart had forgotten that this was temporary. It had forgotten that she didn't trust men. It had forgotten that she was all about girl power for her and Ava. Her heart wanted the moment with Maddox and Ava to be her life today, tomorrow, and the day after that, continuing on indefinitely, creating a cocoon of safety and tenderness in which she and Ava could heal and thrive.

  That was exactly what she had wanted when she had chosen Rogue Valley to settle in. She had thought it would come from the neighbors, but it hadn't. She looked over the stove as Maddox lifted the spatula to move Alfred from the griddle to Ava's plate. All the feelings she had craved for so long, had come from one man, a man so haunted by his own demons that he could not even see what he brought into their lives.

  "Go show your mom," Maddox said. "I'll make a few more for the grown-ups." He winked at Hannah as he ladled some more batter onto the pan.

  Hannah's heart tightened at his private intimacy, and wrapped Ava up in her arms as the little girl bounded up onto the seat next to her, her face glowing as she held up Alfred the pancake to show her. "It's beautiful," Hannah said. "It looks just like him."