Only Human

by Sylvain Neuvel

[I don’t know. I just…There have been good things too, right? Can you talk about the good things?]

  I…Yeah. I met my dad, Vincent. He’s cool.

  {Did you hear that, General? I’m cool!}

  He taught me how to pilot Themis. We went to Egypt. I saw the pyramids. Then we fought one of the alien robots. I thought we were gonna die, but you—

  [Pretend I’m not here.]

  …but Dr. Franklin—she’s really smart—destroyed the robot, and they all left.

  [Thank you, Eva. That’s very kind.]

  It’s true. Then…Then we had a party, but Themis powered up in the middle of it. Somehow, we ended up here, wherever this is. Themis is standing in the middle of a whole army of robots, just like her. We can’t see anything else, and we can’t get out.

  OK, now what?

  [That was…a little short. I’m sure you have a lot more to say.]

  I feel sick. I’m hungry.

  [We all are, Eva. Think about something else. What did you do in San Juan? What was your life like?]

  I don’t know. I didn’t go out much. I played video games.

  [You never went out?]

  I played with Essie before she moved away. We used to look for rocks together. She had this huge collection. I was better at spotting the good ones than she was. She really liked rocks. Her parents took us to the Rio Camay Caves one summer. I didn’t think my parents would let me go, but they did. It was amazing. Essie was so excited. I’ve never seen anyone so happy. We stopped at the Arecibo Observatory on the way back. Her dad said that they used it to talk to aliens. We knew he was messing with us, but I thought about it for months after that. I imagined a girl like me on another world. Both of us staring through giant telescopes, talking to each other with big cardboard signs.

  [That would have been a really slow conversation. Arecibo is a radio telescope, and radio waves would take a long time to get there. Your friend’s dad might have been joking, but they did send a message into space from there once.]

  Did anyone answer?

  [No. I don’t think they were looking for an answer. I think they were just showing off their new toy. I don’t know much about it. It was a long time ago. Before I was born.]

  Did you ever dream of going to another planet when you were my age?

  [I thought I was from another planet when I was your age. Ironic, I know. I…Have you ever felt like your parents weren’t really…Never mind. I felt misunderstood. I guess every kid feels that way at one point or another. I had this idea that I was from another planet and that, someday—some night, actually, somehow that had to happen at night—my “people” were going to come back for me, on a spaceship. Only there were also bad guys—probably from another planet, I don’t remember—who were hell-bent on preventing that. Of course, the bad guys were hiding under my bed, because…Well, because that’s where bad guys hide. I had to make sure that my entire body was on the bed all the time. If a single toe was sticking out, they were going to get me.]

  Why wouldn’t the bad guys just get out from under the bed and grab you?

  [Because my bed had special powers. A force field, maybe?]

  Like the robot we fought on Earth?

  [Exactly like that. Maybe my bed was made here.]

  I wish I…

  [Eva, are you OK?]

  I’m dizzy. I’m hungry. I don’t wanna do this anymore.

  [I know. I know. But try to keep your mind occupied.]

  You said that everyone on Earth has blood that comes from aliens.

  [It’s not blood, it’s DNA. It…It’s a code.]

  A secret code?

  [You could say that. But your cells know how to read it. It’s like a recipe that tells your body what it should grow into, how it should function.]

  And everyone has some that comes from this planet?

  [Well, we don’t know where we are. But if this is the planet where they built Themis, like we think it is, then yes.]

  Do I have some too?

  [You do. Your mom and dad have more than most people, and you might have more than either of them.]

  Maybe the aliens wanted to bring me back here, like the ones you imagined when you were my age.

  [Eva. The part of your DNA that isn’t from Earth is a tiny, tiny part of your genetic code. Imagine that you are that code, your whole body, then the alien part of it would be…smaller than the nail on your little finger. It’s not impossible that they brought us here because they wanted to meet you, but I seriously doubt it. If they wanted to meet any of us, they would have come when we arrived.]

  Dr. Fran…Rose?

  [Yes, Eva.]

  How long can we survive without food?

  …

  Rose?

  [Vincent, I think you should be the one to answer that one.]

  {It’s OK, Rose. You can tell her.}

  [I’d rather you did.]

  Tell me what, Dad?

  {We can go for a couple more weeks without food, but we won’t last long without water. You can probably go for another three, four days. The rest of us had all been drinking alcohol, so…}

  So what?

  {So less than that. Do you want to try Themis again?}

  We tried an hour ago. She won’t move.

  {Do you have anything better to do?}

  I don’t understand. These…whoever brought us to this place, they’re just gonna let us die up here? Why won’t they come?

  …

  Rose?

  [I don’t think they know we’re here. I think they brought back Themis, and we just happened to be inside.]

  Dad, what do you think?

  {I think…I think we should try to move Themis again. I know it won’t work, but they might pick up that there’s someone inside.}

  What if they don’t?

  {I don’t know what else to tell you, Eva. We can’t jump. We ran out of stuff to throw outside.}

  We have to do something. I think the general is getting sick.

  {She’s right, you don’t look so good, General.}

 

  {You—}

 

  Don’t look at me. I’m not touching that thing again. Ever.

  FILE NO. EE003—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Personal Journal Entry—Vincent Couture

  Location: Inside Themis, on unknown planet

  Dear Kara,

  I wonder what you’d hate more, that I’m writing to my dead wife, or that I’m opening with Dear Kara? This isn’t the first time I picked up a pen and paper to write to you. Rose said I should, a couple days after you died. She said it would help me to deal with the loss. I told her I didn’t do stupid. Truth is, I tried that very night. I just stared at that piece of paper for an hour, then I gave up. Second time’s the charm, apparently. Everyone’s asleep. I didn’t want to wake them up using the recorder, so this seemed like a good idea. You should see Eva. She looks so peaceful.

  I miss you so much, Kara. And I want to believe in God right now. I’ve never wanted anything so badly. I’ll be dead soon, and I want to believe you’ll be there waiting on the other side with something snarky to say. My whole life, I thought that just being a part of the universe was grand enough. I thought it was much better than my little self sticking around for eternity. I suppose I still do. I don’t care what happens to my “soul.” I don’t care if there’s still a me, but I really want for there to be a you. The world makes more sense if there’s a you.

  I know what you’d say if you were around. Stop whining, Vincent, and find a way out of this mess. I’m trying. Believe me, I’m trying, but I�
��m running out of options. We’re stuck in a ball of metal fifteen floors high with no food or water. The controls have somehow been turned off, and Themis won’t move. We can’t call for help, we can’t get out. Kobayashi Maru. I’m all for not giving up, but I can’t just will us out of here. It seems so anticlimactic. Fight an alien invasion, get whisked away to another planet, then slowly die of thirst in a room that smells like piss. What was the point of getting this far? I could have just stayed with you.

  I’m not complaining. I guess I am. But one hundred million people died last week. What’s four more if this is the end of it, right? I’ve lived plenty. I know Eugene has seen his fair share. Rose…Well, Rose lived twice and saved a planet. That’s hard to top. I mean, really, what do you do after that? Stare through a microscope all day? Open a restaurant? When we realized no one was coming to get us, I could tell the three of us were ready for what comes next. But Eva isn’t. She’s scared shitless. She wants to live. We all do, but she wants it in a pure, animal way. She’s a lioness. She’s like you. There’s such strength in her. It’s beautiful to watch, and it’s heartbreaking.

  She’s just a kid. She’s been through more grief in her short life than most war heroes, but she’s still a kid. There’s no “good death” for a ten-year-old, but she sure deserves better than this. This is a shit way to go. I feel like I’m failing her, again. That’s what hurts the most. I want her to live, of course, but I wish I could have given her a normal ten-year-old day, one week, something of a regular life, if only for a short while. These aren’t normal times, I get that, but I wish we could play pretend.

  It was probably never in the cards for her to be a regular kid. Imagine those robots never came. Maybe we broke Themis? I don’t know, but let’s say you and I were together, raising Eva. Can you picture us with a regular job, coming home after work for a family meal? Neither of us can cook. Poor kid would be raised on pizza. This is going to sound insane, but I think the end of the world is the only thing that remotely qualified us as parents. We could have done well, though, you and I, under extreme circumstances. I don’t know how we’d fare at a PTA meeting, but we sure could rock World War III together, “together” being the operative word. Without you, I’m not sure I can do anything.

  Don’t tell me I’m being too hard on myself. Believe me, my standards as a single parent are about as low as they can be. She didn’t come with a manual, but if there is one, I’m pretty sure there’s a bit in it about not stranding your child on another planet, dying in front of her, letting her deal with your body. I know. Keep her alive. But part of me sometimes wishes she would go first. We haven’t had the how-to-survive-a-plane-crash-in-the-Andes talk yet. I’m not even sure what I’m going to tell her. I don’t think there’s enough water in human flesh to keep her going. Is there? I wish we had Internet. How do you even start that conversation? “I’m not hungry, but you should eat Eugene, honey.” I don’t know if I’d do it. Would you? Yeah, you would.

  It’s hard to test your principles against hypotheticals. We’ll know soon enough, I suppose. Eugene won’t last the day. He just moans, rambles for a few seconds, then he’s unconscious again. I wish there was something we could do for him. I wish Eva didn’t have to watch.

  It’s frustrating. I don’t mean the we’re dying part—obviously, that is—but I feel like I’m missing something, like someone’s explaining things to me and I’m too stupid to understand. What was that thing Wittgenstein said? Something about a man imprisoned in an unlocked room because it doesn’t occur to him to pull instead of pushing on the door. Blame the scientist in me, but I want things to make sense. This doesn’t. Themis has been gone for thousands of years. You’d think they’d be curious enough to inspect her, hose her down, something. They have to know she’s back. They’re the ones that brought her back, they must be. We didn’t do anything in the sphere.

  They can’t wait indefinitely. If I can just keep Eva alive a bit longer, someone will come. I don’t know if that’s even a good thing. Whoever comes, you can bet it won’t be a friend. These are the people that attacked us. They killed millions. Rose thinks that might not have been their intent, but regardless of why they came, we also killed a few of them. And by we, I mean me, and Eva, and Rose. The only three humans to have hurt any of them are inside this sphere right now, slowly dying of dehydration. That might not be a coincidence.

  How do they treat their prisoners of war? That’s probably how they’d see us. Do they even take prisoners? I’ll do everything I can to save Eva, but I’d rather she died here, peacefully, than be tortured for months on end, then die. I don’t even know if I’m making the right choice looking for a way out, but I am. It’s a puzzle. One piece at a time. For now, I just have to keep her alive for another day. If I’m still around tomorrow, I’ll try to do the same. And the next day, and the next. You don’t have to worry about me trying, Kara. I am. I’ll do anything to keep her alive. I’ll set myself on fire if I have to.

  Come to think of it, that might not be such a bad idea. This is a fairly small confined space, kind of like a submarine. What’s the one thing you don’t want on a submarine? Actually, I have no idea if that’s true, but it’s true in movies anyway. Themis doesn’t have a radio or A/C, but there might be a fire alarm. Rose, the other Rose, used to carry a lighter around in her purse. I hope that was an old habit. Gotta go, love. If this works, I promise to write every month. Yes, every month. I’m not writing to my dead wife every day. Our daughter already has visions. I’d like to keep the crazy to a minimum in our family, if I can.

  This is a shitty thing to say right now, but I wish you were here with us.

  Stay out of trouble.

  Love,

  Vincent

  FILE NO. 2109

  COVERT RUSSIAN RECORDING—DR. ROSE FRANKLIN AND VINCENT COUTURE

  Location: Private quarters, GRU building, Saint Petersburg, Russia

  —She’s telling the truth, Vincent.

  —Who is? About what?

  —That Russian major, Katherine. And about everything as far as I can tell.

  —How could you possibly know that?

  —She said—Katherine said I needed some new clothes.

  —Oh, did she? Rose! Is she your friend now? Are you doing each other’s hair?

  —You’re missing the point. I went shopping. I went out.

  —Where?

  —A place called TsUM. It’s a…big department store. Fancy, like Saks.

  —You went shopping. With what money?

  —Hers. Theirs. I don’t know. Will you let me finish? I didn’t go there for clothes though I’m happy I’m not wearing those sweats anymore. There’s an Apple store inside there, one that doesn’t have anything from Apple anymore, just some Russian rip-offs. My escort was looking at fake iPhones, so I used one of the laptops and went online. I’m telling you, what Katherine said is true. Canada, Mexico, the whole thing.

  —It doesn’t make sense. Why would the US invade its allies?

  —I don’t think there’s such a thing anymore. My guess? Corn, tomatoes, whatever else they grow in Mexico. Factories, perhaps. I’m not entirely sure, but from what I gathered, there seems to be very little foreign trade going on anymore. Borders are closed. Everyone has to be somewhat self-sufficient to survive.

  —And the robot?

  —Also true. It’s everywhere online. They call it Lapetus.

  —Is it the one you knocked out?

  —Seems to be. It’s missing part of the leg I sprayed bacteria on. They’ve attached a huge metal structure in its place. It’s ugly, scary as hell.

  —How? Themis wouldn’t work at all without all the pieces. And who pilots it? I thought we were—

  —I don’t know, Vincent. I think Alyssa has something to do with that.

  —Alyssa?

  —That’s what she said.

  —Who?


  —Katherine.

  —Rose! You do realize she probably planned all this, your going to the store where there happens to be a bunch of computers. She’s manipulating you, me, all of us!

  —Are you saying she’s created a whole new Internet for my benefit? I went on local newspaper sites, small ones. I can see the government making a fake CNN, but not all of this.

  —Don’t tell her anything, Rose. Don’t tell her what we did.

  —I won’t tell her, Vincent. And I know she has an agenda. I have absolutely no doubt she’d lie to us every step of the way if she thought for a second that it served her interests. I think for now she’s using the truth because most of it seems to be on her side. I’m not saying I trust her. But there is a giant robot running around scaring foreign governments into submission. There are internment camps at home, Vincent. Here too.

  —For whom? People with too much Ekt blood?

  —Yes. Foreigners too, I think. Something about Muslims. I don’t know what happened while we were away, Vincent, but it hasn’t gone well.

  —If you’re telling me I should pilot Themis for them, you’ve completely lost your mind.

  —Of course not. But I wouldn’t send her back to the US either. Remember how scared we were at the beginning about what they’d end up using Themis for? We were right to be scared. This is it. Our friend knew. That’s why he wouldn’t let just one nation control Themis.

  —People died, Rose. Lots of people. Things would be bad without that robot, I’m sure.

  —You don’t feel the least bit responsible?

  —My God, Rose! When does it stop? No! I don’t feel like I owe anyone anything. Neither should you. They did this to themselves. You weren’t even here! You saved this planet, Rose. The whole planet. You did that. Just you. Whatever debt you feel you had for falling into that hole, I’d say it’s been paid, with interest. How about we just find a way out of here? Get as far away from this place as we can. They’ve been playing nice with us, but how long do you think it will take before we’re strapped to a chair and pumped full of sodium thipental…thiopental?