Only Human

by Sylvain Neuvel

  —Well, yeah.

  —How long have we known each other?

  —Counting the other Rose or not?

  —I know you better than that, Vincent Couture. Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?

  —…

  —You can tell me.

  —What am I gonna do?

  —What?

  —I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I…I tried being something else on Esat Ekt, but here…Here I’m the guy with the weird knees.

  —Now you get to be something more.

  —What about Eva? She’ll have a hard time giving that up, I’m sure.

  —I thought you wanted her to have a normal life.

  —She made it abundantly clear I had to reexamine my definition of normal. We both made compromises. By we, I mean mostly me.

  —Eva’s nineteen, Vincent. She has her whole life ahead of her. There’s plenty of time for her to figure out what she wants to do. And you know they’ll offer you a job. The two of you have spent nine years on another world dealing with all kinds of aliens. They’ll have something for you to do at the EDC, even if it doesn’t involve a two-hundred-foot giant robot. If that’s not what you want to do, then do something else. Isn’t there anything you always wanted to do but never had the chance?

  —Maybe. What will you do? They must have offered you a job. You’re the “emissary to the alien world.” You’re the friggin’ chosen one.

  —I’m not sure anyone really trusts me after what I’ve done, but they offered me my old job back.

  —Great! I’m happy for you.

  —I said no.

  —What? Why?

  —Do I have to say it? Eva might not want a regular job, a regular life, but I do. Oh, Vincent, I really do. I want to go home and not worry about my day. I want to take a bath, read a book. I want to take a bath three times a day if I want to. I want…small things. I’ve had enough of the big ones.

  —You’ll miss it.

  —Yeah, I will. That doesn’t mean I’d be happy doing it. Maybe someday. Maybe I’ll come back, but for now, I need to take care of me. Just me.

  —What will you do all day?

  —Same thing I’ve been doing these past few weeks. I teach at the University of Chicago, mostly undergrads. It feels…good. Every time a student’s eyes light up when I talk about atomic weight, I feel…like I’ve accomplished something. Like maybe he or she’ll save the world someday.

  —Fair enough. I’d say you’ve earned it. We’ll miss you, Rose. And let’s face it, if we’re ever in real trouble, we’ll get you whether you like it or not. I mean, we had this giant machine that could destroy entire cities, but we’ve never really done anything with it. It was always you, Rose. Just you. This is your movie. The rest of us are just extras in it.

  FILE NO. 2367

  INTERVIEW BETWEEN EVA REYES AND VINCENT COUTURE

  Location: Themis Toy Store, Montreal, Canada

  —No, Dad! I’m not pretending to do things at the cash register just so you can film this.

  —Come on! It’s our first day!

  —Your first day, Dad. I told you a million times, I’m only doing this until I find something else.

  —Fine. But you’ll love it so much, you’ll beg me not to hire someone.

  —In your dreams. Some of us have grown up, you know. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life playing with dolls.

  —Dolls! Do you know what you’re holding in your hand right now? That’s a vintage Leia in her Hoth outfit from something called The Vintage Collection. It’s a vintage remake of a vintage figure. Meta vintage. There are lessons about the universe, life constantly repeating itself, buried inside that thing. It’s 3.75 inches of wisdom, and before you roll your eyes at me, you should know I’ve seen you playing with the Walking Dead figures when you thought I wasn’t watching. I was watching, and I saw you playing with dolls, like you said.

  —That’s different! It’s Daryl! I like Daryl.

  —You didn’t think the little crossbow could fire, did you?

  —No. That is pretty cool.

  —There’s hope for you, Eva. There is hope.

  —I wouldn’t count on it. I’ve been thinking—

  —Uh-oh…

  —Maybe I could be a pilot.

  —You mean join the army?

  —What’s wrong with that?

  —Nothing. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’d miss you, that’s all. They’d be lucky to have you.

  —What do you think Kara would say?

  —She’d say…She’d say that you should do whatever makes you happy. Go for it. Never give up. She’d be proud of you, you know.

  —And you?

  —Am I proud of you? Hell yeah! I was proud the minute I found out you existed.

  —Would you be proud of me if I were in the army?

  —Eva, it’s you I’m proud of, not your job or the uniform you wear. I’d be proud of you no matter what you do. I’d be real proud of you if you worked at the toy store with your dad.

  —I don’t think it’s me, Dad. I don’t think I’d be happy being cooped up all day.

  —With toys.

  —Even with toys. It’s…weird…We’ve been through so much, I—I’m just not sure I can do normal anymore. I go to the park, and I sit on a bench, and it’s beautiful, and calm. So calm. I watch people having a picnic with their kids and it’s cool, but all I’m thinking is how much fun we’d have wrecking that park with Themis. There are days I wake up, and I hate myself for wishing something bad would happen. I wish we’d get her back and I could swing that giant sword again. Am I a horrible person for thinking that?

  —Eva, I’ve had that thought so many times. I know the feeling. Believe me. It took me ten years to get over it and stop wishing for the apocalypse. You’re the one who got me over it, you know. Having you around, it just…I spent all my life trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted. Then you showed up, this brash little thing that wouldn’t listen to anyone.

  —Hey!

  —Then I realized that was it. That was the thing that mattered to me. I didn’t care what I did or what happened to me anymore. You’re the one thing that matters now.

  —…

  —Eva, there’s something I have to tell you.

  —What is it?

  —When Kara died, she—What? Are you OK?

  —I can still see it, Dad. Kara falling backwards into that white cloud. It’s…weird. There are things I can barely remember. It feels like a lifetime ago, but—

  —Some of it feels like it happened this morning…I don’t know if you remember, but the army went back to the UN for her body a few days after the attack.

  —You wanted us to scatter her ashes. We never did.

  —In a helicopter, right! We can still do that. They found her ashes in a locker room along with all our stuff. Apparently, they cataloged our personal effects after we disappeared and put everything in boxes. It all arrived this morning. Here.

  —My—Kara’s gopher!

  —Oh, it’s yours! I forgot how banged up that thing was.

  —Thank you!

  —There’s something else. She had two envelopes on her when she died. One was a letter for me.

  —What’d she say?

  —She…You know what? I won’t tell you. It’s between me and her. But it’s what convinced me to let you try Themis. The second envelope was for you.

  —What’s in it?

  —I don’t know.

  —You haven’t read it?

  —No, I thought it was…It’s between you and her. She told me to give it to you when the time came.

  —What does that mean?

  —She said I’d know.

  —Did you?

  —
Come to think of it, I did. It was your fourteenth or fifteenth birthday. You were arguing with Rose. I looked at you, and it hit me. Right there and then. Boom! You weren’t my little girl anymore. You were this…amazing young woman I barely knew. It was scary, and touching. You were so…You looked like you could take on the world. That day, I thought about the letter, only it was inside my locker in New York, millions of miles away, so…

  —…

  —What is it, Eva?

  —I don’t know. I’m afraid to open it.

  —Why?

  —I don’t know! I just am!

  —Well, she’d never even met you when she wrote it, so I don’t think she’d have had anything bad to say to you.

  —You’re an idiot, Dad. When Kara died, I’d only known her for two days. I didn’t know her, really. But I have this image of her, this person I’ve constructed in my head. I’ve added…details to that person over the years, whenever you talk about her, things like that, but deep down, that’s still who she is to me. That image I put together at ten years old over a couple days. That’s Kara to me. That’s my mother. I’m afraid whatever’s in that letter won’t match. I’m afraid I’ll realize I was wrong the whole time, that I didn’t know her at all. I’m afraid I’ll lose her all over again.

  —Only one way to find out. I don’t think you’ll lose her, Eva. Your mother was many things, but mysterious isn’t one of them. She was the most honest, transparent person I’ve ever met, except for you. What you saw is what you got. I’d say that image of yours can’t be that far off. And you know I’m here, right? If you ever want to talk about Kara. You know her more than you think, trust me on that, but there are plenty of stories about your mom I’d love to share with you. If you want.

  —Yeah. It looks like we’re going to have plenty of time to talk anyway.

  —Why do you say that?

  —We’ve been open for four hours, and we haven’t had a single customer.

  —We haven’t…I like that.

  —Yokits…

  FILE NO. 1613

  LETTER FROM CAPTAIN KARA RESNIK, EDC, TO EVA REYES

  Recovered on her body at EDC Headquarters, New York, New York

  Hi, Eva!

  I told Vincent to give you this “when you were ready,” so I don’t know if you’re ten or thirty. I hope I’ve been gone at least a little while. I’d like for this to be a good moment, I don’t want it to be sad. Yes, I’m gone if you’re reading this letter, but I was very much alive when I wrote it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alive. I found you.

  I’m in Cuba. The sun is about to set. It’s been insanely hot and muggy all day, but a nice breeze just picked up a minute ago. It feels…I don’t really know what I’m feeling. I’m scared, for you and for me. I’m also excited, full of hope. It’s an odd mix of good and bad, the calm before the storm. I’m looking at you right now. That’s a lie. I’m looking at the window where they’re keeping you. But I know you’re in there. I saw you today with them. You were so tiny next to those men. You must have been terrified, but there was such resilience, such defiance in your eyes. I know that look.

  I miss your father right now. I want to share this with him. I want him to see what I see. I want him to see you. He’s plan B. If all goes well, you’ll never have to read this, and I’ll just bring you home. I’m hoping there’s a home to bring you back to, but one thing at a time. Earth is being attacked by alien forces, and there’s a strong possibility all of us will be dead soon. Rough week.

  I should be aboard Themis right now, fighting back, but I came to find you instead. I’d be lying if I said I thought about it for a long time, and it seemed like the right choice. I didn’t choose. I just…left. You’re not alone, Eva. You just don’t know it yet. I’ll keep you safe, and if I can’t, Vincent will. I seriously hope it’s me. I’d rather not die, obviously, but I also have a plan. No one dies in my plan. If I fail, and your father is the one who comes to find you, I don’t think he’ll care who lives or dies. He’ll machete his way through an entire army if that’s what it takes.

  I have to warn you, Eva. Your dad is one big pain in the ass. He’s stubborn, doesn’t listen. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone—he often is, but that’s not really the point—and you’re probably more mature now than he’ll ever be. Of course, there’s a flip side to that. He’ll play with you not because he wants to please you. He’ll play because he loves to play. His heart is even bigger than his ego if you can imagine. He’ll protect you when you don’t need to be protected. He’ll jump in front of a train for you. He won’t think twice. He’ll do it because it would kill him if anything happened to you. He’ll make stupid calls, that I can promise you. It won’t be long before you’re the grown-up in the family.

  I need to ask a favor of you. I want you to take care of him for me. You’re just a kid, but I’ve seen you go through hell, and I know you can overcome anything. He can’t. Not anymore. You have to be there for him. You have to protect him, from danger, from himself. More than anything, you have to live. You’ve lost a parent. You’ve lost three of them if you’re reading this. Trust me when I say that Vincent won’t survive losing a child.

  So when you’re my age, and he still treats you like you’re ten, when he turns the entire world upside down to make sure you’re OK, when he does something incredibly stupid because he’s worried about you, let him. Don’t change who you are. Don’t become something you’re not, but let him have his moments. Be his little girl from time to time. He’ll need that. He’ll need you more than you can understand. He’s been waiting for you his whole life.

  The sun’s going down. It looks like you’ll spend the night. There’s this little bar across the street. I think I’ll have a mojito, watch the sun set, and call it a day.

  So long, Eva. I’ll see you soon.

  Kara

  EPILOGUE

  FILE NO. 2379

  INTERVIEW BETWEEN DR. ROSE FRANKLIN AND VINCENT COUTURE

  Location: Medici on 57th, Chicago, Illinois

  —Vincent! It’s so good to see you! How long has it been? A year?

  —Can’t be.

  —It has to be. How old is Eva?

  —She’ll turn twenty-one in—Wow. I can’t believe it’s been that long.

  —You’re all set up? How’s the toy business?

  —It’s good! I’m not making any money, but it’s a lot of fun.

  —Where’s Eva? Is she still living with you? Last we spoke, you told me she was working at the store.

  —That lasted a whole three months.

  —That’s not bad.

  —I know! I had to fire her.

  —Fire her? What’d she do?

  —She stayed, that’s what she did. I just wanted to spend some time with her. I thought she’d be gone after a week or two, but she stayed. I just couldn’t do that to her any longer. It was like watching a tiger pacing in its cage. She was good, though, sold way more than I did.

  —Where is she now?

  —Sweet home Alabama.

  —What?

  —She’s in Fort Rucker. Flight school.

  —For the army?

  —Yep. She blew through basic combat training—go figure—then the warrant-officer-school thing, and now she’s training on the Apache. Believe it or not, she has a knack for it.

  —That fast?

  —Yeah. It’s fast. She also had good letters of recommendation.

  —How are you two going to see each other?

  —I’m not sure. We’ll see where she gets posted. I might need to sell the store. I was hoping she’d be a Canadian helicopter pilot, but the choppers are more fun on this side of the border. Bigger guns. She likes big toys.

  —God help us all.

  —She already has an offer from the EDC.

  —What does the EDC nee
d with helicopter pilots?

  —They’re putting together a…conventional strike force, developing new tech. State-of-the-art experimental stuff.

  —Who’s running it? Don’t tell me they got Alyssa to run it?

  —Ha! No, but she does work there.

  —I…Who did they put in charge?

  —You’re going to love this. Remember Katherine from Russia?

  —No! Really?

  —Yep.

  —Wow. They’re building weapons.

  —Well, yeah. Just in case harsh language fails to stop an alien invasion.

  —I don’t like this at all, Vincent.

  —Then you’re really not going to like this. There’s someone here who’d like to say hello…Come in!

  —Mr. Burns!

  [You seem surprised, Dr. Franklin!]

  I saw you. I saw you board the Ekt ship and leave. You and everyone else.

  [I did. As far as the me on that ship is concerned, I’ve been gone over a year…I suppose I’ve been dead over a year.]

  But—

  [Oh, come on, Dr. Franklin! I said I was willing to die. I didn’t say I was stupid. I couldn’t watch thousands of people—my family, my closest friends, me!—vanish into nothingness for no good reason.]

  How did you—?

  [Same way we brought you back, of course! Before we left, we each scanned ourselves with the device we used on you—when was that?—nineteen years ago! Wow! We’re not getting any younger. We scanned ourselves and stored the information. That was…mindlessly boring. You should have seen the line for the machine! I asked a friend of ours—your daughter met him, Mr. Couture!—to make us whole again when it was safe. I guess it was safe!]

  —Was it—What was his name?—Bob?

  [Yes! Bob! He sends Eva his best. He says…let’s see if I can remember. Oh yes! Artél’nyj gorshók gúshhe kipít. Something like that.]

  What does it mean?

  [How should I know? It’s in Russian.]

  I’ll tell her he said hi.

  [You do that. It’s funny, all my life, I wanted to visit the planet of my ancestors, and I finally did! But I don’t remember anything about it because I wasn’t even there. Ironic, isn’t it?]