Losing Control (The Control Duet Book 1)

by Lindsey Powell

  Chapter Three

  The first date

  The last couple of days have dragged by as I have become more and more nervous about my date with Michael. It is now Friday and the clock reads five thirty. Clocking off time, which means that Michael is about to pack his stuff up and walk over here, to take me on our date.

  I make myself look busy, tidying my desk, faffing with my handbag, feeling more than a little flustered at the prospect of spending the evening with a man that isn’t Tom. A man that totally knocks spots off of most others in the room. A man that I know will conquer my heart if I let him in. A man that is making his way over to my desk right this very second.

  We haven’t spoken much since he asked me out two days ago, but then I have been busy attending meetings and dealing with client complaints. Sometimes I wonder why I ever chose a job in marketing. All day long I deal with other people’s problems. God forbid they actually listen to me, I mean, what the fuck do I know, what with my marketing degree and my general experience of all things advertising.

  “Hey, Lucy, you ready to get out of here?” Michael asks as he comes to a stop in front of my desk.

  “Uh… Sure.” Great start, Luce. I’m sure he didn’t sign up for a date with a mumbling wreck.

  I pick my handbag up and make my legs push me off of my chair and into a standing position. I struggle to stop my hands from shaking, so I fold my arms across my chest.

  “Have fun you two,” Kim says, smiling away to herself.

  “Thanks,” I respond as I continue to move my legs forward.

  Michael comes to the side of me and his arm brushes against mine. I feel a tingle run through me. Keep it together, Lucy. You have to see this guy at work, don’t make a fool of yourself.

  “I thought that we could go to Alan’s?” Michael says referring to the local ‘up-market’ bistro that is just around the corner from our office.

  “Okay.” Thank goodness I decided to wear my smart, black pencil dress today. At least I am dressed appropriately. I give Kim a little wave as she excitedly bounces up and down on her chair. God, she’s like a kid that’s just been told they are going to Disneyland to fulfil all their childhood dreams.

  We leave the office and walk in silence to Alan’s as the tension radiates off of me. If Michael picks up on it, he doesn’t say anything, which I am grateful for. He exudes no such tension. He has always come across as confident which only threatens to intimidate me.

  “After you,” Michael says as he opens the door to Alan’s for me. I thank him and then we make our way over to the bar. “Did you want to get some food or just a drink for now?” he asks me.

  “Just a drink is fine.” I don’t think I could eat even if I wanted to.

  “Wine?”

  “White, please.”

  I wait whilst Michael orders the drinks, my arms still folded across my chest. Alan’s is already busy with people coming here for drinks at the end of their working week. I don’t spot anyone from our office yet, which isn’t a bad thing. I would rather this date be kept hidden from the prying eyes of our colleagues, especially Miriam. She would be a fucking nightmare if she were to get wind of mine and Michael’s little outing.

  When our drinks are ready, Michael picks them up and leads me over to a secluded table for two in the far corner of the room. I take a seat opposite him and cross my legs, pleased with his choice of table. Here in the corner, I can keep myself in my little bubble.

  I keep my back straight as I pick up my wine and take a sip. The cool liquid glides down my throat and I hope that it does something to help calm me down.

  “So, Lucy,” Michael begins as he places his beer bottle on the table. “I finally get the chance to speak to you on your own.”

  “Uh, yeah. Sorry about Kim the other day. She gets a bit carried away.” I try to sound as casual as possible, but even I can hear the slight wobble in my voice.

  “I can tell,” he replies with a chuckle. “You don’t need to be so nervous, I don’t bite.” His smile relaxes me slightly.

  “I’m sorry, I just haven’t been out on a date for a while.”

  “A date?” he questions.

  Oh shit. Have I read this wrong? Is this not a date? Is it just a friendly drink between co-workers?

  “Relax, I’m joking,” he says as he registers the panic on my face. I let out a nervous giggle as relief washes over me that I haven’t read this situation wrong. “I’ve actually been wanting to ask you out for a while now.”

  “Really?” I ask, gobsmacked.

  “Yeah, but I wasn’t sure how long to leave it after you and Tom split up.”

  I feel the familiar emotion of sadness grip me on the inside and swallow down the lump that has formed in my throat. I wasn’t aware that he even knew about Tom.

  “Um….” No words come to mind as I battle to quell the discomfort rising within me.

  “I apologise. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” he says with his hands held up in front of him. “It’s just that, you know, the office grapevine likes to talk. News travels fast and half of the time you don’t know whether it’s true or not.” He has a genuine look of concern on his face and I instantly feel stupid for my reaction.

  Tom is gone, Lucy, but Michael is sat right in front of you.

  Michael isn’t Tom.

  “It’s okay,” I say finding my voice again. “It’s been six months since we split up, so I shouldn’t let it affect me.”

  “Hey,” he says reaching for my hand and placing his on top of mine. The simple gesture has me looking at him, straight into his dark chocolate eyes. “You don’t have to explain yourself. Break-ups are hard, no matter how they occurred.”

  I smile softly at him. I never realised that he was this sweet.

  I study his handsome face and I realise that, I can either let what happened with Tom eat away at me, or I can move on and see where this thing with Michael takes me.

  I opt for the latter.

  I owe myself the opportunity to be happy.

  Michael wants to get to know me, and I would be a fool to throw that chance away.

  Chapter Four

  A budding relationship

  “So,” Kim says as we sit at our desks and eat our lunch. “Things seem to be going well with you and Michael.”

  “Mmm hmm,” I mumble through a mouthful of salad. I may have a mouthful of food, but it doesn’t stop the smile spreading across my face at the mention of Michael.

  “Three dates in total,” Kim continues with a raise of her eyebrows. She is fishing for information. “And is date number four happening anytime soon?”

  I may be staying at Kim’s place for now, but I don’t feel the need to tell her about every aspect of my life. Plus, she has had the last couple of days off of work and has been staying at Jeremy’s, so her snooping has been somewhat limited to the odd text message.

  “It is,” I reply coyly. I can feel the impatience coming off of her in waves as I fight to control the laughter that is threatening to break free from me.

  “Lucy Fields, will you stop being so bloody secretive.”

  “I’m not,” I say, feigning ignorance.

  “Bollocks. Are you going to keep me guessing or are you just going to tell me what the deal is between you and Michael?”

  I chuckle and decide to put her out of her misery.

  “Date four is tonight, and all is going well.”

  “Well? Is that it?” she asks incredulously.

  “Okay, it’s going brilliantly.”

  “And have you… You know?” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

  “Not yet,” I reply catching onto her implication straight away.

  “Why not?” she says, her face pulling into a frown.

  “Because we’re taking it slow.”

  I don’t want to rush things. Although I vowed to let myself be happy, I can’t help myself from being a little bit cautious.

  Kim opens her mouth to speak again, but the office doors open and M
ichael walks in. Butterflies rear up within me, and I wipe my mouth with a tissue to make sure that there is no salad dressing there.

  “Ladies,” Michael says as he comes to a stop in front of my desk.

  “Hi,” I reply, my heartbeat ratcheting up a few notches at his close proximity. My eyes appreciate his manly form in his navy-blue suit. His hair looks slightly ruffled, clearly from where he has just been outside in the wind.

  “Michael,” Kim acknowledges him with a nod of her head. He nods back at her before turning his attention to me.

  “We still on for tonight?” he asks me as he puts his hands in his trouser pockets. His stance is commanding, and I feel a little tingle between my legs.

  “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Good. I thought that we could go to my place and I would cook for us.”

  “Oh.” I am caught off guard at the mention of his place. I just thought that we would be going for a drink like we have done on the other three occasions that we have been out together.

  “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he says, clearly reading my surprise.

  “No, no. Going to yours is fine.” I don’t want him to think that I am uncomfortable with going to his place. Things are going so good between us, and I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow my anxiety over what Tom did to me fuck this up.

  The smile he gives me makes me want to run my lips over his.

  Bloody hell, Lucy, take it easy. You wanted to take things slow just now, don’t run before you can walk.

  “Great.” His reply is paired with a great big shit-eating grin, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Well, I best get back to work,” he says as more workers start to file back into the office, their lunch breaks over. He winks at me before walking across to the other side of the room and taking a seat at his desk.

  “Dinner my ass,” I hear Kim mutter from beside me.

  “What was that?” I say as I pull myself out of my lust-filled haze.

  “There is no way that you two are just having dinner. Did you see the way that he looked at you?”

  “How do you mean?” I have no clue where she is going with this.

  “Oh, please, he looks like he wants to strip you naked right here, right now.”

  “No he doesn’t,” I protest.

  “Yes, he does, Luce. I’m telling you that tonight is the night that you finally get some much-needed action.”

  Chapter Five

  A little deeper

  As the working day draws to a close, I am a bundle of nerves, yet again. After what Kim said earlier, my mind has been a jumble of thoughts.

  Is Michael really expecting me to sleep with him?

  Am I overreacting?

  Should I just throw caution to the wind if he tries to take things further?

  I say goodbye to Kim as the questions whirl around my head. I take a few deep breaths as I walk towards the office doors, pushing them open to see Michael waiting for me on the other side.

  “You ready to get out of here?” he asks me, that grin I like so much gracing his face.

  I nod and am shocked to feel his hand grab mine, his fingers linking us together. My eyes immediately look around the hallway to see if anyone has noticed, which they haven’t as they are all too busy scuttling out of here to go home.

  My eyes shift to Michael and he has the warmest smile on his face. The softness in his eye’s releases some of my tension.

  We’re just a man and a woman getting to know one another.

  It’s a perfectly normal, everyday thing.

  I just need to relax and allow myself to live.

  He opens the door and leads me out of the building. Michael has already told me that he only lives a short walk away from here.

  “I am so glad that it’s Friday,” he says, breaking the silence.

  “Hard day?” I ask, enjoying the feel of my fingers still being entwined with his.

  “Just pain in the ass clients.”

  “Tell me about it.” I can’t help but roll my eyes. “My afternoon consisted of me trying to appease an existing client over an advert that she kept saying just ‘wasn’t right’ but she couldn’t explain to me why she felt this way. I sometimes wonder why I ever decided to work in a customer service setting,” I say with a chuckle.

  “Well, I’m glad that you did because if you hadn’t, then I may never have had the chance to meet you.” His honesty shocks me, but I am saved from giving a response as he then announces that we have arrived at his place.

  I look at the building to the right of me, and I am surprised to see that he lives in a block of run down apartments. I am not a snob by any means, but I am well aware that this is one of the roughest areas to live in. It’s not where I would have imagined he would live.

  He pushes open the communal door and leads me up two flights of stairs. The faint aroma of urine reaches my nostrils and I can’t help but screw my nose up. Luckily, Michael is in front of me, so he doesn’t see the look on my face.

  We stop outside a red door with the number thirteen on it. I have to stop myself from laughing at the unlucky number. A part of me wants to take it as a sign. Red door, unlucky number, it should set off alarm bells, but I have had enough bad luck in the last year, so I’m not letting a door colour and number fuel my ridiculous notions.

  I watch as Michael unlocks the door and gestures for me to walk in. I do and am struck by the difference in appearance from the stairway to the hallway behind this door. The apartment looks immaculate, and from what I can see has been decorated in clean colours.

  The cream carpet beneath my feet compliments the pale-yellow walls. The lounge and kitchen are open plan, with two separate doors on the right-hand side of the room. I presume one leads to a bedroom and the other a bathroom.

  A black, two-seater leather sofa sits underneath a window on the far back wall, and opposite is a large flat screen television, with a coffee table sitting in front of the sofa.

  There is a kitchen counter running halfway across the room, separating the lounge space from the kitchen space. A small table and chairs are situated in the middle of the kitchen space, with a fridge freezer just behind it.

  I realise that I have taken far too long assessing Michael’s apartment, and when my eyes meet his, I find him watching me.

  “It’s not much, but it suits me,” Michael says, seeming to need to explain himself.

  “It’s lovely,” I reply feeling bad that he obviously thinks that I am not bowled over by where he lives.

  “It’s not lovely, Lucy, but it does me.”

  “Michael, there isn’t anything wrong with it,” I say, gesturing around the room.

  “I don’t intend on being here forever. It’s just a stop gap whilst I save some money for a deposit to buy my own place.” I sense a bit of discomfort from him, and I desperately don’t want our evening to start on a sour note.

  “You said something about cooking?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “I did,” he replies giving me a look of relief. “Spaghetti Bolognese okay?”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Would you like a glass of wine before I create my special Bolognese?”

  “Yes to the wine. And, special Bolognese?”

  “Yeah, it’s a secret recipe,” he says with a wink. He has a twinkle in his eye and I like how the conversation is coming easier now that the focus is off of where he lives.

  “Are you not going to share the secret with me?” I say in more of a flirty manner.

  Michael takes a few steps towards me and leans down, his lips hovering just in front of mine. I feel the air whoosh from my lungs. With him this close, it’s hard to focus on anything other than his lips.

  “If I told you, then I would have to kill you.” His words make me freeze and my breath hitches.

  “What?” I whisper, feeling uneasy. He chuckles, and whatever the glint that I saw in his eyes was just now has gone. The warmth that I’m used to seeing fro
m him has returned.

  “Relax, Lucy, I’m just messing around.”

  “Oh,” I say on an exhale.

  I am not quite sure how to act, but I am quickly thrown off guard again as Michael’s lips brush against mine. I haven’t kissed anyone since Tom, so my body instantly tenses from the intimate contact. Michael seems to pick up on my hesitation as he pulls back slightly, breaking the contact between us.

  “Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to overstep the mark.”

  He is searching my eyes for an answer, and I look at his handsome features.

  As I study his chiselled jawline and his full lips, I have two choices. I can either end what is happening between us here and now, or I can let go and move forward with my life.

  It doesn’t take me long to reach a decision as I press my lips back against Michael’s.

  I can’t keep living in the past.

  I can’t keep living in fear of being hurt again.

  I can’t expect every man to be the same as Tom.

  Chapter Six

  The morning after

  I wake up the next morning with a smile on my face. My evening with Michael was wonderful. I may still have my insecurities, but I am determined to beat them.

  When I kissed Michael back, after my wobble, it was magical. The way in which he was gentle with me, made me like him all the more.

  The way that he carried me to his bedroom and made me feel like I was the only person that mattered was incredible.

  I am currently laying in Michael’s bed with his arms wrapped around me, and I allow myself to snuggle closer to him as I relive the things that he did to me last night…

  Michael picked me up, his lips connected with mine as he carried me to his bedroom.

  Gently laying me down, his mouth travelled down my throat, his teeth lightly grazing

  my sensitive flesh. He stopped briefly, looking at me for acknowledgement to carry on

  as his hand settled on the top of my thigh. All it took was a nod of my head for him to

  continue.

  Blocking everything out of my mind, I simply let myself enjoy every sensation