Ruthless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Marisa opened her eyes and looked at Sierra. They had been friends for too many years to resort to half-truths to spare each other’s feelings. “Okay, I admit it. I want what you have. I want a great guy who’s going to love me unconditionally for the rest of my life.” She snagged a tissue from the bedside table and swiped at the tear leaving a trail on her cheek. “I want him to want a family as much as I do.” She crushed the tissue in her trembling hand. “And I want that guy to be Luc.”

  Sierra leaned forward and winced.

  Marisa jumped up. “Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?”

  Sierra smiled. “No, I’m fine. Sit down here beside me.” She patted the small space on the edge of the bed.

  Marisa sighed and did as she was told. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  Sierra chuckled and patted her knee. “That’s too bad because I’ve held my tongue for too long.”

  Marisa rolled her eyes. “Please, everyone knows how you feel about Luc.”

  “Not true. Everyone knows how I felt about Luc. I’ve had a change of heart.”

  Marisa couldn’t help feeling skeptical. Sierra and Luc had held a grudge that spanned more than a decade. Only a miracle would change the way they felt about each other. “Okay, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Spill.”

  She snuck a peek at her sleeping baby and smiled. “Remember the night Trey and I told everyone we were getting back together?”

  “Yeah, Luc called you out because you didn’t tell Trey about your fertility problems when the two of you were married. What about it?”

  “Luc and I had a long talk that night.” Sierra sighed. “I realized some things about him.”

  Marisa’s eyes travelled to her niece. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  “I realized he’s not such a bad guy.” She laughed at Marisa’s shocked expression. “I also realized he has legitimate reasons for feeling the way he does about making a commitment.”

  Marisa could scarcely believe her best friend was siding with a man she disliked over her. “You’re not seriously telling me you think Luc is right and I’m wrong, are you?”

  Sierra shook her head sadly. “It’s not a question of one of you being right or wrong. It’s a matter of you being wrong for each other.”

  Marisa stood up. She wasn’t ready to hear this.

  “Don’t waste any more of your time trying to change Luc. Find a guy who’s already perfect for you.”

  Marisa walked toward the window. She stared out at the parking lot, now lit only by the overhead lights between the parked cars. Hours had passed, and Luc hadn’t come back to the hospital to meet his best friend’s daughter. Most people would believe that was because he was a ruthless music mogul who cared more about the bottom line than people. But she knew the truth. He was kind, compassionate, and generous to a fault when he loved someone. That was the reason it was so hard for her to let him go.

  “You have a great guy, Marisa. Don’t let your past with Luc get in the way of a future with Tim.”

  Luc was relieved when he rounded the corner and saw the waiting room outside of Sierra’s room was scattered with only a few strangers. He’d waited for several hours before returning because he didn’t want to risk running into Marisa and her boyfriend. He couldn’t bring himself to force a smile while he was slowly dying inside.

  He took a deep breath and knocked on the numbered door.

  Trey opened the door, smiling when he saw his friend.

  “Okay if I come in?”

  Trey put his finger to his lips and gestured toward the sleeping baby cradled in her mama’s arms.

  He stepped into the darkened room. “I can come back if this is a bad time,” he whispered.

  Trey raised his hand. “No, come on over. Take a peek at Sleeping Beauty.”

  Luc tiptoed to the bedside and peered at a baby so beautiful she almost took his breath away. “Wow,” he whispered. “You weren’t kidding. She’s gorgeous.”

  Trey leaned over and smiled. “I know, right?”

  Luc watched his friend stare at his daughter. He had seen many sides of Trey over the years, but he had never seen him look so enraptured. He was, without question, head over heels in love with his little girl. Not that Luc could blame him. She’d already captured his heart inside a minute.

  Trey gestured to two chairs and a small table several feet away from the bed. “Come over here. I want to ask you something.”

  Luc set his carefully wrapped gift on the table at the end of the bed. After much deliberation, he finally settled on a sterling silver rattle from an exclusive jewelry store downtown. “What’s up?” he asked, slipping his leather jacket off and draping it over the back of the armchair.

  “I have a favor to ask you, Luc.” Trey sank into the chair, looking exhausted.

  “Anything, just name it.”

  Trey sighed. “Don’t say that yet.”

  Luc tried to remember a time during their friendship when Trey had asked him for a favor. He couldn’t recall a single time when he hadn’t been the one doing the asking. That’s the kind of man Trey was, loyal and dependable. Luc only wished he could say he shared those traits.

  “Sierra and I want you to be Alisa’s godfather, Luc.”

  Luc dropped into the chair across from his friend. He tried to process the question. Were they crazy? He wasn’t fit to care for a helpless infant. “Trey, I...”

  Trey leaned forward in his chair. “Please, Luc, don’t say no. This is important to me. I’ve never asked you for anything in all the years we’ve been friends, but I’m asking you now. Will you do this for me?”

  Luc glanced at the innocent baby sleeping in her mother’s arms and he felt overwhelmed. The prospect of being responsible for another human being scared him as much now as it had fifteen years ago. He wasn’t ready. He would never be ready. “I’m sorry, I can’t. Why don’t you ask Josh and Lexi? They’d be perfect.”

  Trey stared at him as though he were looking at a stranger. “Really? If something happened to me, you’re telling me you wouldn’t be there to take care of my little girl?”

  Luc felt grimier than the crud on the bottom of his friend’s shoe. Everything people said about him was true. He was callous, self-centered, and he certainly didn’t deserve Trey’s friendship. He got up without looking Trey in the eye. “I’m sorry, man. I wish I could do it, but I just can’t.”

  Marisa hammered her fist against Luc’s heavy mahogany door, swearing a blue streak. She used her other hand to push the button on the intercom. “Open this door, you son of a bitch.” She raised her silver-tipped stiletto boot, prepared to scar the hand-carved masterpiece, when it flew open.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Luc asked, rubbing his eyes. “Are you trying to wake the whole goddamn neighborhood?”

  She pushed past him, trying to ignore the mouth-watering expanse of bare chest. “Please, you’re smack dab in the middle of five acres. I could kill you and your neighbors would be none the wiser.”

  He smirked. “Looks like you’re considering it.”

  She turned on him, fisting her hands at her sides. “How could you, you heartless bastard?”

  He closed the door and stalked across the massive foyer to the hand-carved mahogany bar in the great room. “I have a feeling I’m gonna need a drink for this. Can I get you anything?”

  She planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. “What I want is an explanation.”

  He stood with his back to her. “What did I do this time?” He poured a generous amount of scotch into a crystal highball glass and held it to his lips.

  “You know exactly what you did. My brother and sister-in-law honored you by asking you to be my niece’s godfather, not that you deserved it, and instead of being grateful, you spit in their faces.”

  He leaned against the bar and threw back the shot of liquor. He finally opened his eyes and looked at her. “You’re right, I didn’t deserve it. That’s why I said no.”

  She rush
ed towards him and grabbed the glass out of his hand. She hurled it against the limestone fireplace and watched it shatter into dozens of tiny shards. “I’m not gonna let you do that this time, Luc.

  I refuse to let you hide behind self-deprecating remarks or booze or sarcasm.” She grabbed his shoulders. “You’re gonna tell me the truth for once. What the hell scares you so much?”

  He glanced down at the manicured nails piercing his flesh. “Right now? I’m afraid of what I’m feeling for you.”

  She felt her heart pounding . Her gaze dropped to his chest and she couldn’t resist the urge to flick her tongue over her dry lips.

  He growled. “I’m giving you ten seconds to take your hands off me and get out of my house. If you don’t, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

  She looked up at him, half-afraid, half-intrigued by his threat. “What are you gonna do if I don’t leave?” she whispered.

  He grabbed her waist and pulled her flush against him. “I’m gonna take you upstairs, tie you to my bed, and make love to you all night long.”

  Everyone who knew Luc recognized he had an iron will. What they didn’t know was that he had a weak spot, and she was looking up at him with big, blue, expressive eyes. Her head and her heart were waging a battle inside her. He knew because he was facing the same conflict. After he accepted the fact that he couldn’t persuade her to take him back after their break-up, he swore he wouldn’t call, text, or email her again. He wouldn’t take her out for dinner, they wouldn’t meet for drinks, and they would never share the same bed again. He had to set some clear boundaries or risk falling into the trap of giving her everything she wanted to the detriment of what he wanted. Yet, here he was, ready to get down on his knees and beg her to indulge the craving they shared. No one else had ever made him feel the way Marisa did, in or out of bed. They hadn’t made love in almost a year, and he needed her more now than ever.

  “Please, don’t say no,” he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. “I need you tonight, sweetheart.”

  Her eyes fluttered closed and she released a soft breath. “Please don’t do this.”

  “I can’t help it.” He brought her lips to his, aching to taste them again. He traced the seam of her lips with his tongue and was gratified when he felt her sway toward him. He buried his hands in her thick, black hair and tugged her head back to expose the long column of her neck. He nipped gently at the sweet spot that he knew would reduce her to a quivering mass of need. He knew every inch of her body, and he wasn’t above using that knowledge to convince her to share that sexy body with him tonight.

  “If you were horny, why didn’t you text one of your booty calls?” she asked, flattening her palms against his bare chest. “I’m sure one of them would have been more than happy to oblige.”

  He growled and punished her by sucking the delicate skin on her neck deep into his mouth. Let her try and explain that to her cowboy.

  “You didn’t answer me,” she whispered.

  He fisted her hair in his hands and hauled her head back. He left a moist trail from the base of her throat to her ear, where he finally paused long enough to draw her earlobe between his teeth. He pulled back. She was wearing earrings, big diamond earrings, just like the ones he tried to give her for her birthday.

  “Where did you get those?”

  She moaned and pierced his back with her fingernails. “What are you talking about?”

  He flicked the round diamond studs adorning her ears. “I’m talking about these. Who the hell gave them to you?”

  She opened her eyes and glared at him. “What business is it of yours?”

  “Answer me, right now.” He snarled, still holding her firmly against him. “Did your boyfriend give those to you?”

  She raised her chin and looked up at him defiantly. “Are you jealous, Luc?”

  “Every goddamn time I see you with him.” His breathing was ragged, and he was seconds away from hauling her down to the floor and making her forget him. “I hate him. I hate that he’s making love to you every night. I lie in bed thinking about him putting his hands on you and I want to kill him.” He cupped her full breast in his hand. “End it with him, Marisa.” He knew he was being irrational, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved her. The thought of her falling in love with someone else terrified him.

  Her hands skimmed his shoulders and she began to knead the tense muscles in his back and shoulders. “You’re tied up in knots,” she murmured.

  He grinned. “I know of a great stress reliever.”

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’ll just bet you do.” She looked him in the eye. “But I can’t make love to you tonight, Luc.”

  His heart sank. He was so sure she was still in love with him. He had convinced himself that if they made love again, he could convince her to resume their relationship. They had a great thing going, and he wasn’t ready for it to end. He didn’t know if he ever would be ready to say good-bye to her. “This is because of him, isn’t it?”

  She closed her eyes and stepped out of his arms. “No, this is because of you and me. We’ve been down this road before. I wasted my college years loving you while you jumped from one woman’s bed to another pretending I wasn’t even alive. When we finally got involved, I convinced myself that I could change you. I thought I could make you fall in love with me and only me.”

  “It worked,” he whispered, taking a step toward her. “I am in love with you, only you.” He kissed her lips gently. “And it’s tearing me up inside to watch you fall in love with someone else.”

  She sighed. “We can’t keep doing this to each other. You know what I want, and you can’t give it to me. I can’t spend the rest of my life trying to make you into someone you’re not.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t do this, Marisa. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing...”

  She looked up at him. “Are you ever going to marry me?”

  He closed his eyes. She was right, nothing had changed. She still wanted more than he would ever be able to give her.

  “More importantly, are you ever going to want to be a daddy?”

  The question pierced him. No one ever asked him the question quite like that before. Maybe if they had...

  “Answer me,” she said, grabbing his shoulders.

  “No,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t cut out to be a father. You know that, Marisa. I like my life exactly the way it is.”

  She looked around at the posh furnishings, high ceilings, and custom draperies adorning his ten-thousand square-foot custom-built home. “You want to spend the rest of your life alone? You want to grow old in this empty mausoleum, listening to the echo of your own footsteps?”

  When she put it like that, it made his future sound pretty bleak. “I want you. I want to be with you. Why can’t we just continue to see each other? It worked for two years. You were happy with me, weren’t you?” He suddenly felt desperate to convince her not to leave him. Their break up was difficult for him, but he learned to fill the void with his career, friends, parties, and women. Ever since she’d decided to move on with another man, the void in his life seemed to be expanding, and he felt like he was being sucked into this vast hole of emptiness that was threatening to consume him.

  “I was happy because I thought we were building a life together, Luc. I thought I could convince you of how good it would be between us if you were willing to give us a chance. But I’m thirty years old. How long can I waste my life with a man who doesn’t want the same things I want?”

  He wanted to tell her the truth, to explain the complex reasons he couldn’t give her what she needed from him, but he was too ashamed to admit to her that she’d fallen in love with his kind of man. His parents’ marriage breaking down was only part of the reason he couldn’t trust himself to make a commitment to anyone. There was so much more she didn’t know about him.

  “You’re right,” he whispered, forcing the words past his lips. “I’m not the right man
for you.” He stared at her, memorizing every sweet curve of her face, the exact shade of her eyes, the way her dark lashes dusted her cheeks when she blinked. He wanted to remember everything because he knew this was the last time they would be this close. “Do you love him, Marisa?” He hated to ask the question, feared the answer. But he knew if his worst fears were realized, it would give him the resolve to move on with his life without her.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s a good man. I know he loves me.”

  “Is that enough for you?” He didn’t want it to be enough. He didn’t want to watch her settle for less than she deserved. If he couldn’t have her, he wanted to know that the man she agreed to spend her life with would be able to give her everything he couldn’t.

  “I don’t know.” She looked up at him. “Every time I’m with him, I find myself comparing him to you. I know it’s not right, but I can’t help myself.”

  He knew the feeling. He’d been out with a few women since their break-up, and every one, no matter how beautiful, paled in comparison to Marisa. He took a deep breath. “This is crazy. You’re right. We can’t keep doing this to each other.”

  She touched his cheek. “This really is good-bye, isn’t it?” A tear slid down her cheek. “The last time I left you in a fit of anger. This time we’re getting the closure we need to move on with our lives, right?”

  He wanted to rally against her words. He didn’t want closure. He didn’t want this to end. He wanted her, needed her in his life. “I guess so.”

  She traced her fingertip over his lower lip. “I hope you find a way to be happy, Luc.”

  He drew her into his arms. He held her tight, burying his face in hair that smelled like sweet berries, a scent that would always remind him of her. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear. “I want you to be happy, sweetheart.”

  She drew back to look at him. “I want the same for you.”

  He closed his eyes. He couldn’t stand to look into her eyes and douse the hopeful spark that remained. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”