Ruthless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Trey kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could say the same about you, kiddo.”

  Marisa tensed at Trey’s words. He’d said very little about her engagement. He offered the obligatory congratulations when she told him the news, but she knew he had reservations about her decision. “Why do you say that?”

  Trey sighed and took a step back, staring at her intently. “Do you really have to ask? You’re trying to force yourself to feel something you don’t, honey. It’s not that I don’t like Tim; I do. I just don’t think he’s the right man for you.”

  “Now you sound like Luc.” She knew her brother was concerned about her, but she resented the implication that she wasn’t capable of making her own decisions. Tim wanted her to be happy, unlike Luc, who only seemed to care about his own happiness.

  “Luc has an ulterior motive; I don’t. I just don’t want to see you make a mistake.” He reached over to kiss her forehead. “You know how much Sierra and I love you, darlin’. We’re just concerned that you’re not in the right state of mind to make decisions that’ll affect the rest of your life.”

  She smoothed a crease in Alisa’s silk christening gown. “I just want what you have, Trey.” She choked back a sob. “I want someone to love me. I want a baby to fill this hole in my heart.”

  Trey carefully took Alisa out of her arms and settled the sleeping baby in her bassinet. “Honey, a baby isn’t gonna do that for you. A baby is an amazing addition to your life when the time is right, but they can’t erase the mistakes of the past or help heal your broken heart. Only time can do that.”

  She turned away from him and went to the window. She watched the caterers unloading their trucks, preparing for the reception in honor of Alisa’s christening. “I wish things could be different.” She touched the cool glass and watched the sparkle of her engagement ring dance in the sunlight. “I care about Tim, but...”

  Trey came up behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. “But he’s not Luc.”

  Marisa leaned against her brother, grateful for his support. “When is it going to stop hurting so much, Trey?” She brushed at the tears streaking her face.

  He kissed the top of her head. “I wish I could answer that, honey. I still hurt like hell after five years of being without Sierra. I don’t know that I ever would have gotten over her.”

  She turned into his arms and leaned her head against his chest. “Are you saying you don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over Luc?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered, stroking her hair.

  “I wake up with this dull ache in my chest every morning when I remember he’s not there.”

  Trey sighed. “If you feel that way, maybe you need to re-think things. Don’t rush into anything, Marisa. Take some time to decide if this marriage is what you really want.”

  She tipped her head back to look at her brother. “You don’t think I should marry Tim, do you?”

  He shook his head. “Not right now. I think you need time to heal first.”

  She closed her eyes. “I want to get married and have a family, not five or ten years from now, but now, while I’m still young enough to enjoy it. Tim wants those things too, and I know he loves me.”

  “But do you love him?”

  She forced herself to open her eyes and look at him. “I do love him. Not the way I love Luc, but maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t think I ever want to open myself up to this kind of pain again.”

  He grabbed her shoulders. “Honey, that intensity is what will get you through the hard times in a relationship. When you don’t have that, the relationship isn’t even worth fighting to save.”

  “But I can’t change him, Trey. Luc’s a strong man. He’s knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want. Trouble is, he doesn’t want the things that I can’t live without.”

  He sighed. “I know. I wish I had the answers, honey. I don’t, but what I can tell you is that you’ll never be happy if you settle for less than you deserve.”

  She dropped her chin to her chest. “I know you’re right. Thanks. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

  Alisa started to fuss, and Trey walked over to her bassinet. He smiled as he watched her open her eyes and look up at him. “Hey, pretty lady.”

  Marisa walked over and put her arm around her brother’s waist. “It’s a big day for her. For her mommy and daddy too.”

  Trey looked down at her. “I hope you understand why we asked Josh and Lexi when Luc backed out on us.”

  Marisa gripped his forearm. “Of course I understand. Josh is already a great dad, and I’m sure he and Lexi will be the perfect godparents. You made the right choice, Trey. Please don’t feel guilty.”

  “Luc is like a brother to me. I still can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to do this for us.”

  “The idea of being responsible for a child terrifies him. I have no idea why; it just does.”

  “He’s gonna be there today. Are you okay with that?”

  “It’s not like I have a choice. He’s a part of your life. I know that. I wouldn’t ask you to choose between us.”

  Trey turned her to face him, holding her hands. “You know if I had to choose, I’d choose you, right?”

  Marisa laughed and reached up to kiss his cheek. “You’re lying, but thanks for saying that.”

  Luc didn’t know how he was going to get through this day. He hadn’t attended a christening in fifteen years because they reminded him of everything he was trying so hard to forget. As if the event itself wasn’t going to be torturous enough, Marisa would be there with the new man in her life, rubbing his nose in the fact that she was moving on without him.

  He thought about calling Trey and telling him he was feeling under the weather, which was true, given the migraine that had been plaguing him since he woke up that morning, but he’d already disappointed his friend by refusing to be Alisa’s godfather. He couldn’t bring himself to disappoint him again.

  The church parking lot was already teeming with cars when he arrived. He slid his Maserti into a parking spot bordering the grass and turned off the ignition. He stared straight ahead, trying to work up the courage to reach for the door handle. A car horn startled him, making him jump.

  He looked out the window to see Avery seated behind the wheel of her convertible, laughing at him. He shook his head and reached for the door handle, suddenly grateful his friend had a warped sense of humor. He could use a little levity today.

  She met him around the front of the car, still chuckling to herself. “You should have seen the look on your face.”

  He took a moment to admire her. With her long hair swept off her neck, skillfully applied make-up, and a form-fitting designer suit, the woman was a sight to behold. He extended his arm. “Quit bustin’ my chops, lady.” He waited for her to wrap her hand around his bicep. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

  She gave him a thorough once over. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Spencer.”

  He took a deep breath. “I gotta be honest, Avery. I’m really not looking forward to this.”

  She shot him a curious side-long glance. “I heard Trey asked you to be little Alisa’s godfather and you turned him down. What’s up with that?”

  He watched Marisa make her way across the parking lot, holding hands with her cowboy. “Let’s just say I’m not very good with babies.”

  She laughed. “Given your history with women, I’m surprised there isn’t at least one dark-haired, dark-eyed little devil out there with that irresistible Spencer cleft in his chin.”

  He stopped in his tracks when the rush of blood to his head made him feel dizzy.

  “Hey, you okay? I was only joking, Spencer. I know from personal experience that you don’t have sex without protection. Hell, you’re fanatical about it.”

  He had to get his act together. It had been fifteen years, and he was still allowing it to affect him like it happened only yesterday. Avery was too smart not to see right through his inane excuses. “Trut
h is, I’ve got a killer migraine. I think I’m gonna head back to the car and get my meds. You head on in. Save me a seat.”

  She stared at him. “You sure you’re okay, Luc?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”

  He slid back into his car and grabbed the bottle of water in the cup holder. He reached into the glove compartment for the bottle of pain relievers and popped the plastic top, tipping the bottle until two little pills fell into his hand. The clock on the console told him he wasn’t due for another dose yet, but his pounding head told him otherwise. He threw back the small pills and took a sip of water.

  His phone buzzed and he slipped it out of his pocket. It was a text message from Trey demanding to know his whereabouts. He took a deep breath and forced himself to get out of the car. He walked through the paved parking lot, barely taking notice of the people around him.

  “Luc, we’re so glad you could make it,” Elaine Turner said, falling in step beside him.

  He bent down to kiss her cheek. “Where’s Jared?”

  “He’s already inside. I just forgot my camera, so I had to run back to the car and get it. I don’t want to miss a moment of this.”

  Luc forced a smile. He knew how long Trey and his family had been waiting for this day; he didn’t want to do anything to diminish their enthusiasm. “I’m happy for Trey and Sierra, for you too, little Nana.”

  She laughed and grabbed his hand. “I guess it won’t be long before my baby’s having a baby of her own, now will it?”

  Luc’s heart ached at the thought of Marisa having a baby. He didn’t think he could stand to see her pregnant with another man’s child, but the alternative was to cut himself off from people who were more of a family to him than his own parents.

  “Can’t be easy for you to think about, Luc,” Elaine said, quietly.

  “No, ma’am, it isn’t.”

  “It’s obvious you still love her.”

  He felt the emotion rising, threatening to choke him. He cleared his throat. “More than she’ll ever know, Elaine.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Oh, honey, I wish you two could work this out.”

  He looked at her, surprised by the sentiment. “I thought you and Jared would be thrilled when Marisa accepted Tim’s proposal. The Mitchells have been friends of yours for a long time, haven’t they?”

  She smiled and waved at an elderly couple entering the church before turning her attention back to him. “The Mitchells are good people.” She sighed. “Do you know Tim has been in love with Marisa for as long as I can remember?”

  “How come I don’t remember him hangin’ around the house when she was younger? The first time I saw him was at Jimmy’s bar a while back.”

  “He was never at the house when you were because he knew how Marisa felt about you. Hell, everyone knew; she talked about you all the time.” She smiled and patted his cheek. “Everyone, it seems, except you.”

  He laughed. “Guess I was a little slow on the up-take, huh?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, just a little. Marisa always thought of Tim as a good friend, but that poor boy always believed that if he waited long enough, she’d come around.”

  He scowled. “Guess he got his wish, didn’t he?” He hated to think some guy had been secretly fantasizing about his girlfriend and he’d been oblivious.

  “Do you know why Marisa spent the night at our house the night Tim proposed?”

  He shook his head. “No, why?”

  “She came over because she was terrified she’d made the wrong choice, and she was hopin’ her daddy and I would tell her she was doing the right thing, put her mind at ease.”

  Luc was afraid to ask whether they had given the union their blessing. He didn’t want to know.

  “We told her that marrying one man to get over another is a recipe for disaster.”

  Luc chuckled. “She couldn’t have been too happy to hear that.”

  Elaine rolled her eyes skyward. “You know my daughter. She’s as stubborn as her daddy, but she’s smart too. I think she’ll come to her senses, given a little time.”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something, Elaine?”

  She shrugged her petite shoulders that still seemed strong enough to bear the weight of the world for her children. “Maybe because I am.” She looked him in the eye. “Don’t be so quick to let her go, Luc. I think that would be a mistake you’d regret for the rest of your life.”

  “What do you suggest I do? She’s marrying another man, remember?”

  She tipped her head to one side. “You must know she’d much rather be marrying you.” She squeezed his hand. “You think about that. I’ve got to go on in now.”

  He watched her disappear inside the church. Is that all it would take to make Marisa his again: a ring and a promise of forever? Could he afford to take that kind of risk? What if he let her down, disappointed her? He would never be able to live with himself. No, Marisa was better off without him.

  Marisa watched Luc claim a seat beside Avery in the back of the church. She laid her hand on his arm and whispered something in his ear. He flashed a sexy grin and she smiled back, shaking her head.

  The woman was stunning and, by all accounts, smart and funny. Marisa knew Avery and Luc dated briefly before she returned home from school, and she couldn’t help but wonder whether they were still sleeping together. A sickening thought occurred to her. Had Luc been sleeping with Avery while they were involved? Her mind started racing, thinking back to their impromptu meetings and phone calls.

  Avery would call his cell phone at all hours of the night. Luc always claimed it was a situation with one of their clients, but what if he’d been lying? She had to know the truth before she made a decision that would impact the rest of her life.

  She stalked to the back of the church, a pleasant smile plastered on her face for the benefit of the guests. She stopped in front of the pew where Luc and Avery were seated. “Can I talk to you outside, Luc?”

  He looked between Avery and Marisa, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Uh, isn’t the ceremony supposed to be starting soon?”

  “We have a few minutes. This can’t wait.”

  He glanced at the front of the church. “Won’t your fiancé miss you?”

  “He’s talking to his parents right now.”

  “Avery, will you excuse us for a minute?”

  Avery looked Marisa up and down. “Of course.”

  Marisa resisted the urge to jump over the pew and throttle the woman who had been dragging her boyfriend out of bed in the middle of the night.

  Luc grabbed Marisa’s upper arm, escorting her out of the church. “What is this about?” he whispered.

  “Your car, now,” she said, stalking off ahead of him. She spotted Luc’s black Maserati parked beside Avery’s BMW convertible. At least they hadn’t driven together. She crossed the distance to his car and stood beside it, waiting for him to un-lock the doors and claim the driver’s seat.

  She sat in the passenger’s seat, clenching and un-clenching her fists as she waited to have his undivided attention. “How dare you have sex with Avery!” she shouted.

  He stared at her as though he feared for his safety, being trapped in a car with a raving lunatic. “Uh, wait a minute. You and I weren’t even together when I was sleeping with Avery.”

  She crossed her arms and tapped her foot against the floorboards. “Are you sure about that?”

  He had the audacity to laugh in her face and she lunged across the gearshift, grabbing the lapels of his designer suit. “You think this is funny, you son of a bitch?”

  He seized her wrists as his eyes travelled from her eyes to her lips and back again. “You seriously think I cheated on you?”

  “Didn’t you?”

  “Hell no, never. I can’t believe you’d even think that, Marisa.” He let go of her wrists and eased her back in the passenger’s seat. “I was crazy about you. You were everything I’d ever wanted. Why w
ould I have slept with Avery or anyone else when I had you at home?”

  She felt shame and embarrassment wash over her. “I saw you two together today and I...”

  He grinned. “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

  She glared at him. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  “Maybe now you know how I feel when I see you with your cowboy.”

  “Does that mean something is going on between you and Avery?” She knew she sounded petty and insecure, but she couldn’t help it. If he was sleeping with someone else, she wanted to know. Not that she could do anything to stop him, but it might help her get over him, or it might serve to fuel her already unhealthy obsession with the man.

  “No, sweetheart, I’m not sleeping with Avery or anyone else.” He brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “The only woman I want in my bed is you.”

  She closed her eyes. She knew she was drifting into dangerous territory, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “Do you mean that?” she whispered. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her lips.

  “You know I do.”

  She allowed her gaze to drift to his sensuous lips and they reminded her of the countless times he’d turned her inside out with his mouth. “I can’t marry him,” she whispered.

  He leaned back against his seat and closed his eyes. “Thank God.” He shifted in his seat to look at her.

  “What does that mean for us?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “When are you gonna tell him?”

  She sighed, thinking about how hard it would be to break the news to Tim. “Tonight after the christening.”

  “Will you meet me at my house after you talk to him?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea...”

  He seized her chin and turned her face toward him. “We need to talk.”

  She considered refusing, but she knew they couldn’t go on this way. “Okay, I’ll be there.”

  Chapter Seven

  Luc had been feeling uneasy ever since Marisa told him she planned to end things with Tim tonight. He knew the cowboy wouldn’t take the news well. By all accounts, he’d been in love with her forever. He believed he was going to get the chance he’d been waiting for, only to have it snatched away from him. Any man would be devastated under the circumstances, but his gut told him Marisa may have a fight on her hands if she hoped to be rid of him permanently.